Taking shoes off inside your home - are you offended?
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Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous
wow... those must be extraordinary contractors. all the ones i've ever had actually appear to take special care to trudge around with rainsoaked boots and muddied shoes and leave as much water on the ground as possible. i like the surgical slippers idea too. where does one get those? Lowes and Home Depot both sell those type of booties in the paint department. |
Anonymous
This is interesting, for my entire life up until a few minutes ago I have just learned what the term McMansion means from this site and now I see the term again on the front page of Yahoo, The link is below. http://finance.yahoo.com/real-estate/article/108274/study-australians-have-the-worlds-biggest-homes |
Anonymous
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I wish I had a McMansion but with my yard. I love new homes with nice big bathrooms and high ceilings with plenty of windows and light.
Need to bump out my house to get a great room! |
Anonymous
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In a house, according to the way of the house
In a land, according to the way of the land |
Anonymous
sounds good to me, wish the world thought the same way |
Anonymous
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Loved this article. Seems like most DCUM posters are out of touch with the experts:
Shoes on/shoes off? Policy polarizes partiers Many holiday guests say they won't toe the line and bare their tootsies By Diane Mapes msnbc.com contributor updated 8:47 a.m. ET, Tues., Dec . 15, 2009 It’s an issue as polarizing as global warming, health care reform or even Sarah Palin. When it comes to gatherings at home, what’s better: shoes on or shoes off? On one side of the aisle are hosts worried about the dirt, germs and dog poo that can piggyback onto boots, loafers and stilettos — or those who would rather do without the scratches and dents a pair of spike heels can leave in a polished wood floor. On the other side are guests who resent having to semi-undress at their host’s doorstep, not to mention shrink three inches, endure the embarrassment of threadbare socks or suffer an evening of foot pain just to placate a particular friend. “This issue comes up a lot,” says etiquette coach Jodi R. R. Smith of Boston. “Some people don’t wear shoes in their house for cultural reasons, but it’s usually a health and sanitation thing.” But is it truly healthier to lose your shoes at the door? To pad around barefoot or in a pair of proffered socks? Or is safer to dig in (and stay in) your holiday heels? In a study conducted last year by the shoe company Rockport (as part of a campaign for a new line of washable shoes), 10 people were asked to walk around in a pair of shoes for two weeks. After 14 days, researchers at the University of Arizona analyzed the outside the shoes and found them to be harboring a host of nasty bacteria (including E. coli) thanks to “frequent contact with fecal material” most likely from public restroom floors or animal doo they’d accidentally stepped in. But that’s not reason enough to ask guests to doff their shoes at the door (or toss them onto the nearest Yule log), says Dr. Winkler G. Weinberg, chief of infectious diseases at Kaiser Permanente in Atlanta, Ga., and author of “No Germs Allowed: How to Avoid Infectious Diseases at Home and on the Road.” “If you want to prepare your cheeseboard on the bottom of someone’s shoe and eat it without sterilizing it, you could get yourself infected, but in ordinary life, shoes are not a known risk for infection,” he says. “I’m unaware of anyone acquiring an E. coli infection from a contaminated shoe.” In fact, human bodies may actually be germier than shoes, says Weinberg. “Your body has more microbial cells than human cells,” he says. “You’re more germ than you are you. I really don’t think there’s any value to these studies where people culture to see how many bacteria there are in any given location. It’s not predictive of human health or transmission of infection.” The nitty gritty But what about the dirt and grime you can actually see? “My house is surrounded by nature so I have a ‘no shoe’ policy inside,” says Carolyn Bartz, a 60-year-old former bookkeeper from Vancouver, Wash. “Otherwise, people will drag in leaves and muck and moss and gravel and all kinds of stuff and it’s a career to clean that up.” Bartz says her “no shoe” rule cuts back on carpet wear-and-tear and keeps cleanup to a minimum (because of a disability, vacuuming and mopping can be difficult for her). But her “shoes off” policy has often caused friction between her and her guests. “I have one friend who takes personal offense and another who says my priorities are mixed up, but I’m not sorry,” she says. “I’m like a soldier; I have my rules. Most people have come to accept my quirky behavior.” Jessica Gottlieb, a 39-year-old mommy blogger from Los Angeles, says she, too, has rules regarding “no shoe” homes. “I just don’t go,” she says. “If I get an invitation that says ‘no shoes,’ I make an excuse and say I’m not available. It’s such a control issue. How dare you tell me what to wear? I’ve gone head-to-head with a hostess before and told her, ‘I’m leaving my shoes on. I’ll just stand in your foyer and talk.’” Jennifer Worick, a 41-year-old Seattle author who writes the blog Things I Want to Punch In the Face, says she also hates encountering that dreaded pile of footwear at the door — not because she doesn’t want to lose control, but because she doesn’t want to lose height. “I pretty much always wear jeans and pants that require a heel and if I’m caught unawares, I end up looking stumpy and tripping over the hem of my jeans,” she says. “It’s not a good look. Plus between the pant leg and the hardwood floors, I’ve tripped or fallen more than once.” But it’s not just the slipping and tripping that causes people to hate a “no shoe” household. Big bunions, bad foot odor, strange-looking toes or a past-due pedicure can all give guests cold feet. Etiquette expert Smith says “sock shock” is one reason you should always let guests know in advance about a no shoe rule — “You don’t want guests to feel surprised or embarrassed” —but putting it on an engraved invitation is taking things too far. “If it’s a casual invite, like an e-mail invitation, it’s fine, but if it’s a more formal event, you need to find another way to communicate that information,” she says. “Maybe you can let them know your policy as the responses comes in.” Also key, she says, providing alternative footwear — i.e., slippers or socks. “That way you don’t embarrass your guests should they have a hole in their sock or something unusual going on with their feet,” she says. Health hazards Of course, while communal slippers and socks can hide chipped nail polish and holey heels, some feel they conceal much worse. “I don’t wear second-hand slippers,” says Gottlieb. “Who wore the slippers before me? It’s the same reason why I’ll never get a pedicure at a nail salon. The foot fungus issue is big to me.” And going barefoot is no better, say Gottlieb. “I don’t go barefoot in the gym and I’m certainly not going to get plantar warts from someone’s kitchen floor,” she says. “It’s revolting. Also, I could go my whole life without seeing most husbands’ feet.” Brooklyn podiatrist Dr. Howard Dinowitz says a basket of communal slippers and sock means one thing to him. “I think it’s an opportunity for communal fungus,” he says. “It’s not ‘Can it happen?’ It does happen. But I’ve seen people do that at houses. They’ll put on a communal slipper that Uncle George, who’s growing potatoes between his toes, had on yesterday. You have to share that and it’s disgusting. People can also catch athlete’s foot off a bare floor that’s laden with the fungal organism.” Dinowitz says slippers and socks need to be both laundered — and bleached — to kill contagious fungus and bacteria. But even if hosts insist their alternative footwear is fungus-free, there are many other health reasons why guests might want to remain shod, he says, including plantar fasciitis, neuropathy (a common condition among diabetics), debilitating arthritis, or overuse injuries like Achilles tendonitis. “Some conditions or disabilities absolutely require arch support,” he says. “You’re in incredible pain without it.” Etiquette schmetiquette Unfortunately, some hosts don’t seem to realize their guests may have good reason for refusing to kick off their Keds, says Sherri Bergman, a 44-year-old marketing executive from Sewanee, Tenn. “I have nail fungus. I’ve had it for 10 or 11 years and it’s fine as long as you don’t make me take my shoes off,” she says. “But when I go to peoples’ homes [with a 'no shoe' policy], there’s usually this awkward moment at the door. Then it’s like, ‘Fine, you can leave them on.’ But it’s clear it’s not OK. You feel like you’ve done something wrong.” Dinowitz says guests who don’t want to remove their shoes can always “blame the podiatrist.” But a good host shouldn’t need a note from a doctor, says Smith. “There are bad hosts who browbeat their guests at the door until they take off their shoes, but that’s not right,” she says. “A guest’s feelings and preferences always outweigh the needs of a host.” Smith suggest a compromise as party-goers try to reconcile weather that’s frightful with footwear that’s delightful. Guests who are traveling through icky weather can either wear boots or old sneakers to their host’s house, then change into clean party shoes upon arrival. Or they can bring a pair of their own slippers or socks to change into. Or if the shoes make the outfit, they can politely decline to remove their fancy footwear. Hosts worried about the damage their floors might suffer should keep a chair and a basket of freshly-laundered slippers and socks at the front door, roll up and put away rugs they worry might be ruined and, if they have wall-to-wall, should invest in a good carpet cleaning service. Dinowitz, the podiatrist, says there’s one more thing people might want to keep in mind. “There’s this new scientific discovery that’s available in many department stores now,” he says. “It’s called a doormat.” |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't be offended and we always take our shoes off. {Or atleast ask if that is what they want}. I think it is rude to parade around in someone else's house with your dirty shoes. I also get freaked out by other people's 'bare' feet...so we don't usually invite people over. It isn't that big of a deal now that we have hardwood floors where 'guests" will be. They can either take off or leave on.. we just mop after. I don't let the adults walk around in the area of the baby though. She is on the floor and I don't want foot fungus or shoe dirties there.
If you have rules for your home.. keep them. If someone is offended then they can choose not to return. I think it is very disrepectful to not care about someone's home or rules. |
Anonymous
| I have a no shoes rule in my home. After living in Ny, I think that wearing shoes inside is gross! Plus, I like taking my shoes off after a long day! I find that even if I mop once a week and sweep regularly my feet and socks still get dirty! So I created a foot pad that sticks to the bottom of your foot or sock, Footums. |
Anonymous
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Obviously, if the place is a sty, leave your shoes on. Clearly, if the place looks like it is new or well maintained, don't. Only in D.C. would this thread carry on a life of its own; or originate an uneducated version of the new/old money debate. |
Anonymous
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Offended? I wouldn't be offended by how someone else chooses to run THEIR house. I also would probably comply that ONE time. (I cannot imagine having the gumption to turn around and leave at that point!) I also will find every excuse under the sun to never go back. If I was warned ahead of time "no shoes" I would not have gone. PERSONAL preference/rules, which I have to right to have, just as the "no shoes" people get to have their set of rules!
I AM offended when people come to MY house and assume it IS ok to take off their shoes. Don't even ask - all of a sudden shoes are off and their smelly sock feet (or bare) are up on my couch! WTF? Are you going to crawl into my bed too? Again, I won't say anything/be rude, but don't hold your breath waiting for a return invite. We can be friends still if you want, but we will be meeting at a restaurant! |
Anonymous
| We live next door to a farm and have chooks and a very muddy back yard so I do expect children visiting our kids to take off their shoes as I know where their shoes have been! Dirt still manages to get into our house as there are not many houses and high winds causes a huge amount of dirt to arrive on our front door step. So though I wouldn't ask any friends who visit I do hope they will get the msg after seeing us in our clean bare feet or socks to take their shoes off next to our ones. I seem to be constantly cleaning our floors and do feel annoyed when friends who we do not know that well seem to disregard the obvious and after they leave we can all feel the dirt! I realise that I have an issue and not everyone can understand esp those living in nice paved areas where there is little dirt on their shoes, but we should all respect peoples wishes in their own houses. |
Anonymous
| I've never been offended, and had several friends with this rule (some owing to East Asian customs, some just out of cleanliness). As long as you are respectful about it, no one should be offended. If you do have guests who are uncomfortable walking around barefoot, I knew a family that generally wore flip-flops indoor the house (that never went outside) and kept a few spare pairs for guests. |
Anonymous
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Unless you were raised in a barn (and even if you were) - ANY manners says you should respect the wishes of the host. Regardless. Why is this a question at all? Is this some sort of pissing contest (that has nothing to do with shoes on/off)? Because clearly, if you can not respect the wishes of the host, you have other issues. |
Anonymous
| What do you do about people with orthopedic shoes or elevated-sole shoes? |
Anonymous
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We inherited this house from my inlaws when they decided to retire to warmer climes and MIL even went so far as to have a *NO SHOES* sign that to this day is hanging on the front door. I always thought it was silly, and over the years I've only had one service tech actually read the sign and offer to remove his shoes. I thought it was sweet but told him he was fine.
Then we had kids. The hardwood floors aren't so bad. They're dark enough that they hide stains well. But the kitchen floor is white ceramic tile with black grout to go with the lovely white cabs and counters. I mop the floor and 30 minutes later its dirty again. Unfortunately we can't afford to replace it right now, so maybe I'll have to go buy some different sized slippers and start enforcing the shoeless policy again. |