Taking shoes off inside your home - are you offended?
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Anonymous
| We are also a no-shoes household. All of our good friends and family know the drill so not a problem there. And I'd say about half the time when others come they see that we answer the door in slippers and shoes lying around and get the hint and ask if I'd like them to take off their shoes to which I typically reply, "If you wouldn't mind, that would be great." The other half I just usually ask (even service people who come over) and have never had a problem. I do always feel kind of weird about it though - especially with strangers - but people are generally kind and understanding. I have also let it go a couple of times when I don't feel like asking or if they are going to be in the house for just a short period of time. |
Anonymous
| We don't usually remove our shoes in the house (splintery floors at the moment), but no, I would not be offended in the least if you asked us to remove our shoes or otherwise indicated (shoes by the door, everyone else not wearing them) that this is how it is in your house. In fact, I would appreciate a polite but direct request. |
Anonymous
| I agree with PP that I just find the "no shoes" thing kind of odd and don't think it really makes much sense. I would not say I am offended by the request but I do find it presumptuous if someone asks me to take off my shoes when I am just going into the main level of their house and I do think that they are pretty uptight. What do you do when you have a dinner or cocktail party or something like that? Do you really have everyone stand around sipping wine in their sock feet? And I definitely don't like it when I don't know that I will be asked to take off my shoes because for example I might be wearing my boots and wearing ugly socks because they won't be seen. |
Anonymous
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Absolutely - shoes are GROSS! I don't want my shoes - or anyone else's! - walking around in my home. Think about where the bottom of your shoes have been. I don't think it's rude at all to ask people to remove their shoes at the door. I think if my friends had a problem with it I would find friends that weren't so petty!
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Anonymous
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I have to admit, it is a pet peeve to me when people ask me to remove shoes. I get it when it is muddy and wet or something, but I have been asked to remove shoes when I am simply picking up my kid from a playdate or even for a DINNER PARTY. I do not walk around anyone's house in MY barefeet as much as they do not want my shoes.
But, it is not a tragedy and I have some friends who have sick kids and hubbies (cancer) and that is a given. For everyone else, I do not appreciate it. I have nice shoes! |
Anonymous
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I have had no-shoes policy in our house for about 15 years, since living in Adams Morgan. For those of you who allow shoes and live in the city, you should try a no-shoes policy for a week or two just to see the difference in the amount of dirt (if that's what it is...). Yes, we have dogs and cats, but that's not the same as dirt from dogs and cats AND shoes.
I cringe when people wear shoes in my house. However, I love when I go to someone else's no-shoes house and they are totally casual about it, and say something like "we don't wear shoes in the house but it's not a big deal at all if you do." I try to be like that myself. |
Anonymous
People's bare feet are grosser than shoes! Did you ever read the thread here about how few women even get pedicures in DC? YUCK> 
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Anonymous
You're joking, right? Pedicures are about visuals, not cleanliness. (And BTW, the appropriate word is not YUCK, it's EW.) |
Anonymous
Do you know how many infections are spread from unsanitary pedicures? yes - even in the upscale salons I'll take my socks and shoes over MRSA, thank you very much. |
Anonymous
Not exactly. The pretty widely accepted purpose of etiquette is to make people comfortable and put them at ease. So if you invite guests to your home you shouldn't greet them at the door with the RULES OF THE HOUSE! LOL! I remember reading something by Ina Garten where she said guests are welcome to smoke in her (gorgeous Hamptons) home. I was really shocked, but she said her primary goal when she invites people to her home is to make them feel comfortable and welcome. Go figure. As an aside - there was a Sex and the City episode that touched on the shoes off issue. Funny stuff. |
Anonymous
| Wearing shoes in the house is one of the biggest sources of pollution in your home. That said, I don't always remember to take mine off when I come in. |
Anonymous
My Canadian counsins (Calgary) have this no-shoe habit and I experienced first as a teenager when they came to visit. My mom was offended/disgusted that they kept taking their shoes off by the door and walking around the house in socks. She thought it was slovenly (maybe becasue this was her SIL, my aunt :roll . I simply asked them why and they explained that the snow and dirt that shoes track in Calgary is so filthy that it is a common custom. Very smart I thought and, even at 16 with no ideas about crawling babies, I could see the benefits. Now that I have my own household and kids, its a practice we also follow. The back of the house has a mudroom with a chair and big shoe cubby but most guests don't enter that way, they come through the front door. Most people ask if I would like them to remove their shoes (I think its a custom that is becoming much more common in urbane areas of the US) and I usually say "whatever you prefer." I do ask all kids who come over (for playdates) to remove their shoes because I know they will be going upstairs in to rooms with carpeting. We do have a dog and I hate thinking about what he tracks in but at least our not wearing shoes cuts down on some dirt and germs... I have actually been thinking of designing a little "foot bath" for him by the back door. Anyone ever seen one?
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Anonymous
| I love this idea and did it in my last condo and it made a huge difference in how clean the floors stayed. That condo had the original carpeting (the previous owner did the same thing, that's where I got the idea!) and after almost 20 years, it looked new! I tried to implement it in our house when we got married and my husband kept "forgetting" and I got tired of nagging and gave up on it. It is a pain if you're in and out of the house a lot, and my husband likes to work in the yard and wears sneakers and it's a pain to take them on and off every time. Ah well. Our floors pay the price, particularly the upstairs carpeting. My sister-in-law has that rule in her house too and the problem I have is that their floors are so cold that they suck all my body heat out and I'm always miserably cold at their house. Now they know to lend me their slippers and it's somewat better. |
Anonymous
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In Russia, they offer guests slippers to wear around the house. Do they do this in other places? It might be a nice way to make everyone comfortable.
(To answer OP, I am not offended when asked to take off my shoes -- I am just jealous about the beautiful carpets!) |
Anonymous
| But, what about someone's right to not want to wear someone else's slippers? |