Why would parents send kid to school without coat in 20 degree weather?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Send kid"
OP, your words matter. Instead of how you view parenting, in other families, the kid is deciding. Or forgetting. Or is expected to take a coat and doesn't, because they don't want to. The kid may be getting-out-the-door on their own, more independently. Maybe all on their own, parent not home when the kid leaves for school. Greater independence may have a more significant positive result vs the poor decision re: a coat

Poster child for lazy parenting right here. It's your job to make sure your kids get out in the world prepared for the day. It's why they don't live on their own yet.

Eh some kids learn better the hard way. They aren't all rule following robots who never push boundaries with authoritative parents making all the decisions for them.

Keep telling yourself that. The rest of us know you're failing as a parent.

NP. How old are your kids?

22, 20 and 16. All of them dressed appropriately at all ages and still do.

Not one of them has ever pushed back on their mother’s sartorial choices for them?

It is your job as a parent to dress your kids appropriately for the weather.

You didn’t answer the question.

If your 16-year-old decided not to wear a coat to school on a cold day, what would you do?

I didn't start parenting him at 16. That is the whole point. At 16 he has developed healthy habits and I don't have to fight with him about dumb stuff like this. They learn the rules at 2, 3, 4 and not at 16.

Why are you making this a rule? If they don't care, why do you?

[Anonymous]

Glad I got my popcorn early for this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Send kid"
OP, your words matter. Instead of how you view parenting, in other families, the kid is deciding. Or forgetting. Or is expected to take a coat and doesn't, because they don't want to. The kid may be getting-out-the-door on their own, more independently. Maybe all on their own, parent not home when the kid leaves for school. Greater independence may have a more significant positive result vs the poor decision re: a coat

Poster child for lazy parenting right here. It's your job to make sure your kids get out in the world prepared for the day. It's why they don't live on their own yet.

Eh some kids learn better the hard way. They aren't all rule following robots who never push boundaries with authoritative parents making all the decisions for them.

Keep telling yourself that. The rest of us know you're failing as a parent.

NP. How old are your kids?

22, 20 and 16. All of them dressed appropriately at all ages and still do.

Not one of them has ever pushed back on their mother’s sartorial choices for them?

It is your job as a parent to dress your kids appropriately for the weather.

You didn’t answer the question.

If your 16-year-old decided not to wear a coat to school on a cold day, what would you do?

I didn't start parenting him at 16. That is the whole point. At 16 he has developed healthy habits and I don't have to fight with him about dumb stuff like this. They learn the rules at 2, 3, 4 and not at 16.

Why are you making this a rule? If they don't care, why do you?

Because I’m their parent and it’s my job to care. WTF!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

I tend to agree with you if the reason is a tantrum. But I think people are conflating the kids whose parents 1) want to give them bodily autonomy (who am I to say they are cold if they don't? do you know how old people wear sweaters in the summer?) and/or 2) natural consequence are totally fine.

It's the other judgy parents who start this whole "my job is to snowplow and never let my kid be in charge" who are the problem

But for me as the mother of girls in this society, I am not going to get my kids in the habit of my telling them they feel differently than they say they feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

+1. in the scheme of things, I would prefer my kid has as much autonomy as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

Get thar head checked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

NP. The conversations at my house go like this

Me: Do you want to take your coat?
Kid: No, I'm fine
Me: Okay

No tantrums involved

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

NP. The conversations at my house go like this

Me: Do you want to take your coat?
Kid: No, I'm fine
Me: Okay

No tantrums involved

PS- it also includes
Me: shrugging internally - good, maybe they will learn this lesson and realize they need one next time. Or maybe they won't care and it doesn't really matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw a kid outside in short sleeves yesterday. I saw 2 girls at the school bus stop this am wearing very light jackets, no hat, coats or gloves. Some kids won't wear coats for whatever reason. They'll live.

Depending on how cold it is and how long they're outside, they literally might not. But ok.

Yeah, no, standing in the cold in short sleeves for maaaybe 15 minutes will not kill anyone.

Right? I shiver looking at some of these kids walking to school in shorts, but I’m not dumb enough to think they literally don’t own a coat or long pants.

Literally no one said that they don't own the clothing. What we are saying is that parents just shrug and say "Susie doesn't want to wear it so I don't make her."

Susie doesn't want to to do a whole lot of things, but it's your job to teach her and guide her. Or are we just letting kids decide everything now?

What decisions did you allow your kids to make?

At what age? In elementary school, they could choose among the items of clothing that were age, weather, and situation appropriate.

No, you can't back it up now. You think it's your job to decide everything. What exactly are your kids allowed to decide?

I JUST told you. Please read it again.

That's it? How sad for your kids.

So your kid decides to go to school in just his underwear? WHY NOT!!!! HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE. Otherwise, you're an authoritative parent. See how ridiculous that sounds?

NP. Honestly? In the unlikely event he wanted to, I would let my kid go to school in his underware, because it would take about 2 minutes for him to learn that is a completely socially unacceptable thing to do and then he would have the lesson of his own decision makings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.insidenova.com/news/prince_william/potomac-high-school-student-treated-for-frostbite-after-bitterly-cold-morning/article_c0640be1-8513-454c-ae37-f572cf1ba9ad.html

Hypothermia has come up a few times but not frostbite.

A high school student may have suffered frostbite earlier this week in this area.

High school? How can that be. I thought this was strictly about elementary school kids.

It is, but younger kids get hypothermia and frostbite even faster due to their body size.

The wait at the bus stop is not long enough for either of these. Try again.

Well now I know for a fact that you don’t have kids who ride the bus in the DC area!

It’s not a rare occurrence for school buses to be up to an hour late or even possibly not show up at all.

If you're letting your kid stand in the cold for an hour you have much bigger problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

NP. The conversations at my house go like this

Me: Do you want to take your coat?
Kid: No, I'm fine
Me: Okay

No tantrums involved

PS- it also includes
Me: shrugging internally - good, maybe they will learn this lesson and realize they need one next time. Or maybe they won't care and it doesn't really matter.

If they miss recess because they didn't want to wear the coat, that's on them. If they care enough they will bring it the next day. Or maybe they didn't want recess anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

NP. The conversations at my house go like this

Me: Do you want to take your coat?
Kid: No, I'm fine
Me: Okay

No tantrums involved

PS- it also includes
Me: shrugging internally - good, maybe they will learn this lesson and realize they need one next time. Or maybe they won't care and it doesn't really matter.

If they miss recess because they didn't want to wear the coat, that's on them. If they care enough they will bring it the next day. Or maybe they didn't want recess anyway.

Why would that happen

[Anonymous]

A lot of kids don’t like wearing coats.

My 13yo still doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.insidenova.com/news/prince_william/potomac-high-school-student-treated-for-frostbite-after-bitterly-cold-morning/article_c0640be1-8513-454c-ae37-f572cf1ba9ad.html

Hypothermia has come up a few times but not frostbite.

A high school student may have suffered frostbite earlier this week in this area.

High school? How can that be. I thought this was strictly about elementary school kids.

It is, but younger kids get hypothermia and frostbite even faster due to their body size.

The wait at the bus stop is not long enough for either of these. Try again.

Well now I know for a fact that you don’t have kids who ride the bus in the DC area!

It’s not a rare occurrence for school buses to be up to an hour late or even possibly not show up at all.

If you're letting your kid stand in the cold for an hour you have much bigger problems.

Like needing to be at work instead of the bus stop and then having the scheduled bus not arrive on time without notice? Yes that is a problem but what exactly am i supposed to do about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have done recess duty at an elementary school. Several boys never wanted to take their coats, even when it was below freezing. They would wear it to line up, then throw it on the ground outside while they played for 25 minutes in short sleeves. I can’t physically force children to put on and wear their coats. There wasn’t enough staff to send non coat wearing kids indoors for recess. I did notice a correlation between hyperactive and impulsive boys (yes all boys) and coat refusal. Perhaps they run hotter?

It’s trying to be cool. They don’t run hotter. It depends on the temperature. If it’s above freezing or 40 degrees they can definitely get hot but not because they are male. Starting in about 4th grade where they’d rather look cool and suffer.