Why would parents send kid to school without coat in 20 degree weather?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw a kid outside in short sleeves yesterday. I saw 2 girls at the school bus stop this am wearing very light jackets, no hat, coats or gloves. Some kids won't wear coats for whatever reason. They'll live.

Depending on how cold it is and how long they're outside, they literally might not. But ok.

Yeah, no, standing in the cold in short sleeves for maaaybe 15 minutes will not kill anyone.

Right? I shiver looking at some of these kids walking to school in shorts, but I’m not dumb enough to think they literally don’t own a coat or long pants.

Literally no one said that they don't own the clothing. What we are saying is that parents just shrug and say "Susie doesn't want to wear it so I don't make her."

Susie doesn't want to to do a whole lot of things, but it's your job to teach her and guide her. Or are we just letting kids decide everything now?

What decisions did you allow your kids to make?

At what age? In elementary school, they could choose among the items of clothing that were age, weather, and situation appropriate.

No, you can't back it up now. You think it's your job to decide everything. What exactly are your kids allowed to decide?

I JUST told you. Please read it again.

That's it? How sad for your kids.

So your kid decides to go to school in just his underwear? WHY NOT!!!! HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE. Otherwise, you're an authoritative parent. See how ridiculous that sounds?

NP. Honestly? In the unlikely event he wanted to, I would let my kid go to school in his underware, because it would take about 2 minutes for him to learn that is a completely socially unacceptable thing to do and then he would have the lesson of his own decision makings.

So public shaming is better than you parenting your own child and teaching him at home what is socially acceptable?

Because I am not naive enough to think that my instructing my kid what to do is always the best way for him to learn. It's basic psychology to equip them with the tools to make their own decisions, and this would be a quick lesson that allowed them to engage with the world and experience natural consequences versus induging in the fantasy that he is a little piece of clay I can control and mold however i like. He's his own person

and yeah if he was above the age of about 2 i strongly doubt he'd want to go in his underware, in that case there would prob be special needs at play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our family, kids are not in charge.

I am also a ES teacher, and it’s quite clear which of my students run their families.

This. Nobody leaves the house when it’s that cold without a coat. It’s sheer parental laziness if the kid shows up at school half dressed. Then the teacher gets to hear the kids whining all day. Our school’s heat rarely works effectively when it’s really cold and we have plenty of kids showing up in hoodies and short sleeve shirts. We give them coats and they still show up without them. The parent says, “He doesn’t want to wear it.” Jesus. Ditto for nearly every other thing- brushing their teeth, giving up their technology to go to bed, etc. So we get to deal with kids who have teeth rotting out of their mouth, screen addicts, etc.

[Anonymous]

I make my most ridiculous child -- wearing shorts, of course -- bring a coat to school on freezing days. That does not mean he wears it.

He does plausibly run "hot" -- eats like a horse, constantly in motion.

He is willing, without too much of a struggle, to wear long pants when it is 25F or below during recess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make my most ridiculous child -- wearing shorts, of course -- bring a coat to school on freezing days. That does not mean he wears it.

He does plausibly run "hot" -- eats like a horse, constantly in motion.

He is willing, without too much of a struggle, to wear long pants when it is 25F or below during recess.

For what it's worth, he gets about at most an hour or two of computer time during the week, and I do spend the ten minutes of arguing both at morning and night required to get him to brush his teeth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would add that I have an older kid who would literally wear t-shirts in the cold (I forced the jacket, and it came off). Now that they are a teen, they wear a coat on their own accord.

The coat battle is common with kids…

He was trying to be cool by not wearing a jacket. Why that is considered cool and seems to be only the males is beyond me but I see the tiny little boys with their silky little shorts walking to school. By high school they are over it.

My high schoolers aren’t wearing coats. None of them use lockers. It’s less important now since they don’t have recess.

I am a HS teacher and also don’t bring a coat. I don’t want it hanging on the back of my chair all day and I also don’t have a great place to put it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw a kid outside in short sleeves yesterday. I saw 2 girls at the school bus stop this am wearing very light jackets, no hat, coats or gloves. Some kids won't wear coats for whatever reason. They'll live.

Depending on how cold it is and how long they're outside, they literally might not. But ok.

Yeah, no, standing in the cold in short sleeves for maaaybe 15 minutes will not kill anyone.

Right? I shiver looking at some of these kids walking to school in shorts, but I’m not dumb enough to think they literally don’t own a coat or long pants.

Literally no one said that they don't own the clothing. What we are saying is that parents just shrug and say "Susie doesn't want to wear it so I don't make her."

Susie doesn't want to to do a whole lot of things, but it's your job to teach her and guide her. Or are we just letting kids decide everything now?

What decisions did you allow your kids to make?

At what age? In elementary school, they could choose among the items of clothing that were age, weather, and situation appropriate.

No, you can't back it up now. You think it's your job to decide everything. What exactly are your kids allowed to decide?

I JUST told you. Please read it again.

That's it? How sad for your kids.

So your kid decides to go to school in just his underwear? WHY NOT!!!! HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE. Otherwise, you're an authoritative parent. See how ridiculous that sounds?

NP. Honestly? In the unlikely event he wanted to, I would let my kid go to school in his underware, because it would take about 2 minutes for him to learn that is a completely socially unacceptable thing to do and then he would have the lesson of his own decision makings.

So public shaming is better than you parenting your own child and teaching him at home what is socially acceptable?

Yes. Some kids need to learn the hard way. What’s wrong with having natural consequences?

It is your job to teach your children. Not the school's, not the world's. This is exactly why we are calling you lazy.

I don't really care. I can tell by the outrage that people aren't changing their minds due to your sad attempt at shaming that dealing with conflict is not your strong suit. Your kids could probably tell tales about your hair trigger at any sign of pushback or disobedience. If the kids feel cold, they will bring the coat tomorrow. The world and school will not notice, just the annoying moms nobody likes anyway.

We know, dear. It's sad that you don't care about your kids. That's why you are lashing out at me.

Lashing? lol. My kids dress for their comfort, not yours.

I'm sure they are super comfortable standing outside without a coat in 15 degrees. No, it makes YOU comfortable not to have to parent them. It's lazy and irreponsible. If you didn't feel insecure about it, you wouldn't still be here insulting me.

My kids can decide what to wear on a cold day. If it makes you uncomfortable, so be it. That's your problem.

Actually it’s your own child’s problem. They literally don’t know how to take care of themselves.

Do yours know how to wipe their butt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the ES forum. Parents have full influence on their ES students.

Why is the lost and found overflowing with coats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

NP. The conversations at my house go like this

Me: Do you want to take your coat?
Kid: No, I'm fine
Me: Okay

No tantrums involved

PS- it also includes
Me: shrugging internally - good, maybe they will learn this lesson and realize they need one next time. Or maybe they won't care and it doesn't really matter.

If they miss recess because they didn't want to wear the coat, that's on them. If they care enough they will bring it the next day. Or maybe they didn't want recess anyway.

Why would that happen

A lot of schools require wearing jackets to recess if the temperature is below a certain level.

Because the schools know that it’s dangerous and irresponsible to send kids out in the cold without proper clothing. Wonder why so many parents have a hard time understanding that.

So the problem resolves itself. And still kids thhriw the coats aside.

That’s fine. The coat is there is they get cold. It’s when they have nothing to put on if the temp drops 20 degrees that can be a problem. The most dangerous part of cold weather is wind chill factor. The weather site writes “ Frostbite is damage to body tissue caused by extreme cold. A wind chill of -20° Fahrenheit (F) will cause frostbite in just 30 minutes.” It also feels like it is much colder than it is.

Windchills are the worst part of winter. Walking in the city through a wind tunnel is torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make my most ridiculous child -- wearing shorts, of course -- bring a coat to school on freezing days. That does not mean he wears it.

He does plausibly run "hot" -- eats like a horse, constantly in motion.

He is willing, without too much of a struggle, to wear long pants when it is 25F or below during recess.

There are so many variations of coats hopefully these kids are getting a chance to pick their own. Some like Patagonia weigh practically nothing. Some are basically hoodies but thicker, some are sports related. If he’s hot he can take it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

NP. The conversations at my house go like this

Me: Do you want to take your coat?
Kid: No, I'm fine
Me: Okay

No tantrums involved

PS- it also includes
Me: shrugging internally - good, maybe they will learn this lesson and realize they need one next time. Or maybe they won't care and it doesn't really matter.

If they miss recess because they didn't want to wear the coat, that's on them. If they care enough they will bring it the next day. Or maybe they didn't want recess anyway.

Why would that happen

A lot of schools require wearing jackets to recess if the temperature is below a certain level.

Because the schools know that it’s dangerous and irresponsible to send kids out in the cold without proper clothing. Wonder why so many parents have a hard time understanding that.

So the problem resolves itself. And still kids thhriw the coats aside.

That’s fine. The coat is there is they get cold. It’s when they have nothing to put on if the temp drops 20 degrees that can be a problem. The most dangerous part of cold weather is wind chill factor. The weather site writes “ Frostbite is damage to body tissue caused by extreme cold. A wind chill of -20° Fahrenheit (F) will cause frostbite in just 30 minutes.” It also feels like it is much colder than it is.

Windchills are the worst part of winter. Walking in the city through a wind tunnel is torture.

Do you think all these kids just fell out of the sky and don’t know what winter is? They aren’t cold. Don’t weep for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make my most ridiculous child -- wearing shorts, of course -- bring a coat to school on freezing days. That does not mean he wears it.

He does plausibly run "hot" -- eats like a horse, constantly in motion.

He is willing, without too much of a struggle, to wear long pants when it is 25F or below during recess.

There are so many variations of coats hopefully these kids are getting a chance to pick their own. Some like Patagonia weigh practically nothing. Some are basically hoodies but thicker, some are sports related. If he’s hot he can take it off.

Alas, this runs into either "I don't like anything!" or even more annoyingly, "I like this one!" Next day, "No, I will not wear that ever. Eeew."

I got a nice hat for myself out of the "Eeww" one, so maybe it isn't *that* annoying.

[Anonymous]

Early elementary I make them wear a coat. By 5th grade I let them figure it out - if they insist on not wearing a coat, fine, they’ll learn…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the ES forum. Parents have full influence on their ES students.

People who Exert full inflienceo on their ES students typically have kids who grow up to either have 1) non independent thinkers, 2) little influence for things that matter later or 3) luck.
Those who have 2-3 kids can't really address the above pattern but ironically tend to the the ones with the most mythologized sense of control over their kids

[Anonymous]

They could be in poverty Op.

I remember the last time it was cold like this and delivery drivers were dying in their doorless vehicles and a college student in Vermont froze to death when he got locked out of his usual way home and had to take a longer than usual detour through the snow. People always think they’ll live but sometimes they dont

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't want to actually parent their kids. They let their kids run roughshod and tell them how things are going to go instead of the other way around.

+100

This thread is very eye opening.

If your kid is so stubborn that they refuse to wear a coat in 20° weather to the point that they will throw a tantrum, then you have somehow screwed up parenting when they were younger. Raising entitled, stubborn, know-it-all kids is a major parenting fail.

Yes, it’s such a parenting fail to not fully break the will of a stubborn child when they’re young. Moron.

I'm sure one day when your child is a teen you'll be singing a different tune. Until then, enjoy your ignorance.

My oldest is a teen. I’ve never subscribed to the “total compliance, or else” model of parenting. Children should have some measure of control over their lives. If that means taking off their coat and being cold as a consequence, that’s fine.

You have some strange fantasy in your own mind about how I parent. Since a very young age some things were non-negotiable but we allowed broad leeway for all other things that were not important life skills. This approach created enough trust that our child doesn’t throw a full on tantrum just because we asked them to put on proper clothing. We laid the groundwork in the toddler years so that we didn’t end up with a kid who is not selfish and a know it all once older. They get enough freedom to make personal choices that they don’t feel the need to tantrum about basic things like wearing a coat. Kids don’t scream and argue about jackets if they feel heard and respected by their parents in the first place and the proof of what I say is waiting for you this afternoon at pickup.

NP. The conversations at my house go like this

Me: Do you want to take your coat?
Kid: No, I'm fine
Me: Okay

No tantrums involved

PS- it also includes
Me: shrugging internally - good, maybe they will learn this lesson and realize they need one next time. Or maybe they won't care and it doesn't really matter.

If they miss recess because they didn't want to wear the coat, that's on them. If they care enough they will bring it the next day. Or maybe they didn't want recess anyway.

Why would that happen

A lot of schools require wearing jackets to recess if the temperature is below a certain level.

Because the schools know that it’s dangerous and irresponsible to send kids out in the cold without proper clothing. Wonder why so many parents have a hard time understanding that.

So the problem resolves itself. And still kids thhriw the coats aside.

That’s fine. The coat is there is they get cold. It’s when they have nothing to put on if the temp drops 20 degrees that can be a problem. The most dangerous part of cold weather is wind chill factor. The weather site writes “ Frostbite is damage to body tissue caused by extreme cold. A wind chill of -20° Fahrenheit (F) will cause frostbite in just 30 minutes.” It also feels like it is much colder than it is.

Windchills are the worst part of winter. Walking in the city through a wind tunnel is torture.

Do you think all these kids just fell out of the sky and don’t know what winter is? They aren’t cold. Don’t weep for them.

Peer pressure takes over for boys and they think it’s cool to not wear a coat. Most of them are cold, they aren't polar,bears.

It’s like when a redhead goes to the beach and claims he doesn’t get sunburns. His skin is a Level 1 which means that his skin burns easily and never tans. He refuses sunblock. He comes home with 2nd degree burns . Same idea with exposed skin in frigid weather. If it’s 30 degrees with a wind chill factor of -20 he can do some damage to his exposed skin if he’s outside for an hour. Both extreme weather conditions call for covering your skin. The kid might not feel it but his skin is creating damage.