Why do teens self-segregate along racial lines ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's both a societal and parenting thing. If you watch 3 year olds interact, they are simply curious about everything. But by 13, the parents have put their kids in their tribes. And contemporary society really identifies race as the most important thing ever. And everything in modern schools and social media really stresses race as a means to differentiate children. So you have all these kids who are naturally curious and empathetic about everything, and then we adults put them into their boxes. The fixation on identity means that everyone else is the other. And thus there is tension.

Little 3 year olds have it all figured out. Sadly, the parents get involved.

The opposite is true. Even infants notice racial differences. Three year olds are capable of bias. Read Nurture Shock. It's important not to avoid discussions about race if you want to raise a curious and empathetic human being. Your argument that contemporary society and media "others" people and causes tension is way off. The tension is caused by push back from people who are sick and tired of being marginalized. It's good tension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a South Asian woman with mixed kids, it's because the white kids exclude the non-white kids (or rather, the white parents exclude the non-white kids from a very early age), so the non-white kids feel like they have to stick together. At least this was my experience as a child, and my kids' experience, too -- even though they are the children of a South Asian mom born and raised in the midwest and a white dad. I'm as American as apple pie, but the white moms have always still excluded me. Even after talking to me and realizing I'm not an immigrant (they're scared of immigrants).

I am white and live in an area with many predominantly south Asian neighborhoods and it’s the reverse there. The few white kids in schools stick together.

Same. In my neighborhood they didn’t want to come to block parties so they made their own south Asian block parties. They also don’t join the normal moms groups and make their own. I’ve actually never met such exclusionary people and I went to school in the Deep South. Blacks and whites mingled a whole lot more there than south Asians do here. Other Asian Americans are not like that.

+3. Some South Asians in my neighborhood are exclusionary and sometimes outright hostile towards non South Asians.
Some. Not all. My son has had friends with friendly parents and they are usually Khatri.

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old's best friends are black/mongolian, Vietnamese, Moroccan, Hispanic, and half African/half white. He is white. So I don't see a lot of self-segregating going on in Fairfax County.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like self segregation, but really the white kids don’t invite the African Americans to join them.

And vice versa.

[Anonymous]

I do not notice this at my kids school. Groups are very mixed/racially diverse.

I think in situations where kids know no one, it feels very safe and easier to gravitate towards other kids of your race/culture. Getting to know each other better is the solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old's best friends are black/mongolian, Vietnamese, Moroccan, Hispanic, and half African/half white. He is white. So I don't see a lot of self-segregating going on in Fairfax County.

Pat yourself on the back. But not for long. Because odds are it'll change dramatically once away in college, as others have alluded on here.