How is Sorority Rush going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Good for your DD for showing some resilience and keeping an open mind. If more girls did the same instead of dropping out because they didn't get the house that they (and 90% of the other girls) originally wanted, then ALL of the sororites would be healthy and vibrant and that benefits everybody.

Please remember that girls drop out of rush for a variety of reasons.

DD recently withdrew because she was in the ER the day rush began, and missed the entire first round. She wrote a letter explaining this, and was cut from the vast majority of the houses between first and second round. She was not well enough to attend the second round events, and decided to go ahead and withdraw. She decided it didn't make sense to continue with a process she was not well enough to fully participate in.

She has been resilient and kept an open mind. She's also been pragmatic, and put her own health needs first.

DD is aiming for a "normal" sorority, and does not have any preconceived notions about a specific sorority she would like to pledge. She is planning to either participate in continuous open bidding or try again next year.

Hi-I am so sorry for your daughter. This is wholly different than dropping out because she was but happy. Please have your daughter contact her rush contact from her group to discuss COB or possibly snap bids. There will be a house and having a pan hellenic contact to shepherd her will be helpful. Good luck to your daughter!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if, instead of rush, every young woman wanting to pledge threw her name in a hat, and then all the names were randomly and evenly distributed among sororities?

That's the system I've been dreaming of ever since participating in the choosing side of rush.

I posted about having been in a sorority and not really liking it for my DD although she wants one. This is that I’d like to see as well…but I’ve thought about this and it likely wouldn’t work. Unfortunately, humans are cliquey and tribal and I think if they did it this way there just would be less interest in being in a sorority.

No ideal solution because I really do like the idea of a smaller social group at a larger school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if, instead of rush, every young woman wanting to pledge threw her name in a hat, and then all the names were randomly and evenly distributed among sororities?

That's the system I've been dreaming of ever since participating in the choosing side of rush.

So the pretty girls would have to be in sororities with ugly, fat girls? Whatever is the point?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

A critical mass doesn’t join, though, so that doesn’t happen.

Agree with pp, it should be a random lottery and we should stop welcoming young women to college with a profit-driven, emotionally abusive roller coaster masquerading as “fun”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

I also have wondered about this!

However, as someone who got a bid to a struggling house (years ago), I didn’t want to be part of a house that was widely regarded as ‘the fat house’ ‘the ugly house’ etc. People would write these things on public platforms, say ‘MOOOO’, etc. and I figured it was better to stay independent.

Let me be clear, it was wrong of both me and the others to have those attitudes. But I was 18, insecure about being dropped everywhere to begin with, didn’t know anyone, and didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars to be called fat and ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

A critical mass doesn’t join, though, so that doesn’t happen.

Agree with pp, it should be a random lottery and we should stop welcoming young women to college with a profit-driven, emotionally abusive roller coaster masquerading as “fun”.

I guess freedom of association isn't your gig.

Sorry you didn't get a bid.

[Anonymous]

Let’s be clear most fat girls do not rush. These girls are really vulnerable and tend to avoid rush. The few heavy girls who rush seem to be very fashionable and comfortable with their skin and get bids. I am sorry I know there is always a bottom sorority but the notion of a fat house is ridiculous. Usually bottom house may be a little socially awkward and their girls do not care and love their house. Vast majority of houses are middle tiered. We need to stop the premise that only one or two houses are worth joining. This is simply not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

A critical mass doesn’t join, though, so that doesn’t happen.

Agree with pp, it should be a random lottery and we should stop welcoming young women to college with a profit-driven, emotionally abusive roller coaster masquerading as “fun”.

Not the college's fault.

[Anonymous]

Every time someone posts “sorry you didn't get a bid”, I want to get in a Time Machine and erase my past. I loved sorority life, it had good points, but was absolutely problematic. How is someone of an age to have a college age kid and still talk like that. Omg, I have such second embarrassment and the level of cringe is off the charts.

[Anonymous]

we don’t care

[Anonymous]

I was not in a sorority at an SEC school and was totally fine. I was also an introvert and would have been completely overwhelmed by the big houses. All good. My daughter is as extroverts possible and thriving in a sorority. During Rush at a competitive sorority school, she got dropped by most sororities…as do most as you can only pref at 2 houses. She loves where she ended up! She was a social butterfly in high school and continues to be one at college. She doesn’t love or even know all the girls in her sorority but it is where she has met her best friends. She’s living in the house at a huge savings to us and loves school and life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

I also have wondered about this!

However, as someone who got a bid to a struggling house (years ago), I didn’t want to be part of a house that was widely regarded as ‘the fat house’ ‘the ugly house’ etc. People would write these things on public platforms, say ‘MOOOO’, etc. and I figured it was better to stay independent.

Let me be clear, it was wrong of both me and the others to have those attitudes. But I was 18, insecure about being dropped everywhere to begin with, didn’t know anyone, and didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars to be called fat and ugly.

This is so honest and accurate. Thank you. All these adults expecting 17 and 18 year olds to be happy with this scenario are ridiculously dishonest and callous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

A critical mass doesn’t join, though, so that doesn’t happen.

Agree with pp, it should be a random lottery and we should stop welcoming young women to college with a profit-driven, emotionally abusive roller coaster masquerading as “fun”.

Not the college's fault.

It IS the college’s fault that despite an enormous increase in PNM, they don’t increase spots in any of the 12 established houses so that the one house that can’t grow on their own merits, might get more members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

I also have wondered about this!

However, as someone who got a bid to a struggling house (years ago), I didn’t want to be part of a house that was widely regarded as ‘the fat house’ ‘the ugly house’ etc. People would write these things on public platforms, say ‘MOOOO’, etc. and I figured it was better to stay independent.

Let me be clear, it was wrong of both me and the others to have those attitudes. But I was 18, insecure about being dropped everywhere to begin with, didn’t know anyone, and didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars to be called fat and ugly.

This is so honest and accurate. Thank you. All these adults expecting 17 and 18 year olds to be happy with this scenario are ridiculously dishonest and callous.

They are allowed to be disappointed, but then they have to decide what to do with that disappointment. So you didn't get the whole pie - do you still want a piece of the pie or do you want no pie? No pie is a valid choice, but it's just that - a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

I also have wondered about this!

However, as someone who got a bid to a struggling house (years ago), I didn’t want to be part of a house that was widely regarded as ‘the fat house’ ‘the ugly house’ etc. People would write these things on public platforms, say ‘MOOOO’, etc. and I figured it was better to stay independent.

Let me be clear, it was wrong of both me and the others to have those attitudes. But I was 18, insecure about being dropped everywhere to begin with, didn’t know anyone, and didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars to be called fat and ugly.

This is so honest and accurate. Thank you. All these adults expecting 17 and 18 year olds to be happy with this scenario are ridiculously dishonest and callous.

And it’s literally their first introduction to college life. I started out college feeling rejected by a large percentage of the women at the school.