How is Sorority Rush going?

[Anonymous]

At DD's school, instead of rush, all the students go to a Sorting Ceremony that takes place during the Welcome Feast. They all have to put on this one ratty old hat that reads their inner thoughts, recites terrible sing-song poetry, and 'sorts' them into different houses. DD had heart set on one house and was hooked, but got sorted into another. We complained to HoS, but she turned out to be really catty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

I agree. Ignore the people who say it is so hard to get a bid and then say oh but their daughter did. Schools want all the girls to land somewhere. Agree that if girls stay in that quota goes up.

I always hate when I hear that a girl in a moment of emotion drops out. Sometimes the mom who was not greek will encourage the drop out which is sad. The reality is usually the sorority you wind up with you love. It is hard explaining this to a hurt 18 year old but if you convince them to stay they almost always are happy. Sororities are a lot of fun. I would love to go back to that fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At DD's school, instead of rush, all the students go to a Sorting Ceremony that takes place during the Welcome Feast. They all have to put on this one ratty old hat that reads their inner thoughts, recites terrible sing-song poetry, and 'sorts' them into different houses. DD had heart set on one house and was hooked, but got sorted into another. We complained to HoS, but she turned out to be really catty.

what is this? Never heard of this. What school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At DD's school, instead of rush, all the students go to a Sorting Ceremony that takes place during the Welcome Feast. They all have to put on this one ratty old hat that reads their inner thoughts, recites terrible sing-song poetry, and 'sorts' them into different houses. DD had heart set on one house and was hooked, but got sorted into another. We complained to HoS, but she turned out to be really catty.

what is this? Never heard of this. What school?

You’ve never heard of Hogwarts???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

Good for your DD for showing some resilience and keeping an open mind. If more girls did the same instead of dropping out because they didn't get the house that they (and 90% of the other girls) originally wanted, then ALL of the sororites would be healthy and vibrant and that benefits everybody.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Good for your DD for showing some resilience and keeping an open mind. If more girls did the same instead of dropping out because they didn't get the house that they (and 90% of the other girls) originally wanted, then ALL of the sororites would be healthy and vibrant and that benefits everybody.

[Anonymous]

Skipped a few pages in the thread. Here is an open minded take from a late 90s sorority girl.

Going through rush as a kind of awkward freshman was character building. It’s a crash course in presentation skills, small talk, and learning how to quickly “read the room.” It also immediately pulls back the facade as you realize “nice, is different than good.”

Joined a mid-tier house. It had ups and downs. Made some friends, bullied relentlessly by other “sisters.” Living in “the house” was a lesson in tribalism: us vs them lines were drawn over being 5 minutes over during your shower slot. Learned how to “mask” from an older sister who is now a professional actress.

It had highs and lows. But, 20+ years later I can reflect that I learned more about the realities of life from sorority than any class I took. I use the sorority survival skills to deftly climb the corporate ladder. I’m amazing at interviewing thanks to Rush prep.

I’ve been a formal mentor collegiate girls in my national sorority. They are all smart, poised, authentic people. I helped them get into grad school, get internships,’first jobs and stay in touch for years as they navigate the transition of their early 20s.

It makes it all worth it.

My daughter will not rush. She’s autistic. But if the situation were different I would encourage her to at least try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean she didn't get a bid.

I meant she's a strong, independent woman that doesn't need Barbie culture to help validate her womanhood. She chose a path that didn't feed the Greek rape machine. No self respecting feminist would submit herself to the hazing, primping and pandering that the older "sisters" demand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Good for your DD for showing some resilience and keeping an open mind. If more girls did the same instead of dropping out because they didn't get the house that they (and 90% of the other girls) originally wanted, then ALL of the sororites would be healthy and vibrant and that benefits everybody.

Please remember that girls drop out of rush for a variety of reasons.

DD recently withdrew because she was in the ER the day rush began, and missed the entire first round. She wrote a letter explaining this, and was cut from the vast majority of the houses between first and second round. She was not well enough to attend the second round events, and decided to go ahead and withdraw. She decided it didn't make sense to continue with a process she was not well enough to fully participate in.

She has been resilient and kept an open mind. She's also been pragmatic, and put her own health needs first.

DD is aiming for a "normal" sorority, and does not have any preconceived notions about a specific sorority she would like to pledge. She is planning to either participate in continuous open bidding or try again next year.

[Anonymous]

Nothing more validating about my feeling toward rush than reading these “defenses” for it. You grown women who refuse to admit it’s a cruel, unreasonable, flawed process are the very last kind of people I’d want to call friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Good for your DD for showing some resilience and keeping an open mind. If more girls did the same instead of dropping out because they didn't get the house that they (and 90% of the other girls) originally wanted, then ALL of the sororites would be healthy and vibrant and that benefits everybody.

Please remember that girls drop out of rush for a variety of reasons.

DD recently withdrew because she was in the ER the day rush began, and missed the entire first round. She wrote a letter explaining this, and was cut from the vast majority of the houses between first and second round. She was not well enough to attend the second round events, and decided to go ahead and withdraw. She decided it didn't make sense to continue with a process she was not well enough to fully participate in.

She has been resilient and kept an open mind. She's also been pragmatic, and put her own health needs first.

DD is aiming for a "normal" sorority, and does not have any preconceived notions about a specific sorority she would like to pledge. She is planning to either participate in continuous open bidding or try again next year.

Here’s the thing most of the posters ignore: even getting in a “normal” house may not happen. It is ENTIRELY possible that she will only have the newest house after only 48 hours of rush. Posters keep saying the problem is girls who only want two or three houses. No. Some schools manipulate numbers so that they try to fill the unpopular houses and that means lots of girls get a 48 hour rush with only the one house that’s desperate for members. It’s impossible for many people to admit here, but there ARE other experiences here besides the ones they make up in their heads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Good for your DD for showing some resilience and keeping an open mind. If more girls did the same instead of dropping out because they didn't get the house that they (and 90% of the other girls) originally wanted, then ALL of the sororites would be healthy and vibrant and that benefits everybody.

Please remember that girls drop out of rush for a variety of reasons.

DD recently withdrew because she was in the ER the day rush began, and missed the entire first round. She wrote a letter explaining this, and was cut from the vast majority of the houses between first and second round. She was not well enough to attend the second round events, and decided to go ahead and withdraw. She decided it didn't make sense to continue with a process she was not well enough to fully participate in.

She has been resilient and kept an open mind. She's also been pragmatic, and put her own health needs first.

DD is aiming for a "normal" sorority, and does not have any preconceived notions about a specific sorority she would like to pledge. She is planning to either participate in continuous open bidding or try again next year.

I'm sorry your daughter had that experience and I wish her good health and good luck with COB or next year's rush but this is not why the vast majority of girls drop out of rush. If even half of the girls who dropped out would stay the course and join a "lesser" house these houses could thrive and the girls could experience the fun and sisterhood, etc. Everybody wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

[Anonymous]

What if, instead of rush, every young woman wanting to pledge threw her name in a hat, and then all the names were randomly and evenly distributed among sororities?

That's the system I've been dreaming of ever since participating in the choosing side of rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?