What does your nursing toddler call your boobs?

[Anonymous]

I know! So funny that the one who said she's pro-breastfeeding AND courteous of others has issues. Wow, you just can't win can you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You say that there is absolutely no reason that this mother couldn't have waited for 5 minutes to nurse her daughter. Maybe so, from your point of view (we don't know what hers is). Regardless, that doesn't matter, because she chose to nurse her WHERE SHE IS LEGALLY PERMITTED TO DO SO

Yes, she is legally permitted to do so, but frankly, it sounds like this woman is being obnoxious. I fully support the mother's right to nurse her four year old if she wishes to do so, and to do so in public if she wishes to do so. But not at a daycare at pickup time - it is a busy place, and the expectation is that you will go in, get your child, and leave unless there is something specific to the daycare that you want to do (looking at a special piece of art that your child made that day etc.).

I agree. I nursed two kids until they were about two -- but I did it at HOME after they were infants, anyhow. There's NO reason to nurse a 4 year old in a public place, except because you want the attention and are be an obnoxious asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gave my 2 years old DS some cheese this morning on his doctor advise to test out his milk allergies. After a few bites, he was coughing, choking, and vomiting. All the he wanted was nursing at that point. I gave him some zyrtec and proceeded with nursing. I was so glad that I am still nursing him. He is obviously physically not ready to wean. For the extremely rude PP that labeled me as deviant, you are so sick. Why would you deprive my DS of his most suitable milk and insist that I should feed him something foreign to make you more comfortable!! If your kid is sick, wouldn't you do whatever that is within your disposal to help him? If you don't know what circumstances I am facing, DON'T JUDGE ME!! And I am not asking anyone to pat me on my shoulder for nursing my DS, but next time if you see me or someone else nursing their toddlers, keep your deviant thoughts and evil mind to yourself!! I don't need your approval!!

Sorry, PP, but what you are doing IS deviant because it's not the societal norm. Admit it, and deal with it. People WILL stare at you b/c you're a freak!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It bothered me because it bothered other parents who were picking up their children while the 4 year old was nursing in the most high traffic area at this daycare. Do YOU think that it is typical for a 4 year old to be breast fed? Do YOU think that a 4 year old should be breast fed in a public place with no discretion from the mother at all? Do YOU think that the other parents and children that were uncomfortable with this should just suck it up because this parent wanted to breast feed her 4 YEAR OLD CHILD at pick up time, instead of waiting for the 5 minutes that it would take to get home?
It DID involve me because I'm the one who got to hear the most complaints about it because I was the one who was regularly closing at the daycare. You're damn skippy it involved me, because I had to try to smooth it all over with the other families and I had a lot of kids in that class ask me why the daycare girl still drinks from her mom. It's an awkward position to put people in, and it's worse when it can be avoided. It would have been completely different if the child wasn't as old as she was, but the truth is that the age matters and attitude of the parent matters. I think that some nursing moms seem to like to cause a commotion and when it's addressed, then get all up in arms about their right to feed their children. Yes, all moms have that right, no one is disputing that. As I said before, nursing is a great thing. I'm just going to say it. In my opinion, a nursing 4 year old is very off-putting and it's awkward to be around. Don't even say a word to me about how I could have just left the room. It was in a common area where everyone retrieves their childn's things at pick up time. I couldn't leave the area because it was also the place to sign kids in and out. This family lived 5 minutes away, so the breast feeding session could have waited until then, but every single day at pick up time, she breast fed her. When she was approached by the director, she threatened to pull her daughter and did the whole "I have the right to nourish my child" bit and threatened a law suit and the director backed down. After that incident, the mom went out of her way to be even more obvious about nursing and even started sittting closer to the sign in/sign out computer. So yeah, I take issue with that and it absolutely involved me.

This is EXACTLY the "badge of courage" I think a PP was referring to. This is also exactly why extended nursers are criticized on boards like this. I'm sorry PP that you had to witness and go through this. This has been my experience with extended nursers, too. It's not even a nutritional or psychological need of the child, but some sicko "thing" the mom has....almost like her identity is her breasts, etc. I'm disgusted by your experience, and have seen MANY a similar thing happen in public too. Nursing a young baby doesn't phase me at all, and I nursed for 13 months. But seeing whacked-out lactation nazis threatening to sue because they cannot expose their breasts in public to nurse their 4 year old is SICK and offensive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is EXACTLY the "badge of courage" I think a PP was referring to. This is also exactly why extended nursers are criticized on boards like this. I'm sorry PP that you had to witness and go through this. This has been my experience with extended nursers, too. It's not even a nutritional or psychological need of the child, but some sicko "thing" the mom has....almost like her identity is her breasts, etc. I'm disgusted by your experience, and have seen MANY a similar thing happen in public too. Nursing a young baby doesn't phase me at all, and I nursed for 13 months. But seeing whacked-out lactation nazis threatening to sue because they cannot expose their breasts in public to nurse their 4 year old is SICK and offensive!

It does seem like the 4yo mom had some agenda beyond caring for her own child. BUT no need to generalize all extended nursing as "sicko" or "offensive"...because it just makes you sound ignorant & uninformed.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I'm not ignorant and uninformed...I think it is sicko to pull what that mom did. I don't have a problem with women who extended nurse per se, so long as they are respectful of others...then others will respect them, too. This woman was extremely disrespectful to others, and I think most people would agree, except for the lactation nazis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I'm not ignorant and uninformed...I think it is sicko to pull what that mom did. I don't have a problem with women who extended nurse per se, so long as they are respectful of others...then others will respect them, too. This woman was extremely disrespectful to others, and I think most people would agree, except for the lactation nazis.

Totally agree. The mom was somehow getting off on the whole thing in some way(not meaning in a sexual way). Some sort of exhibitionism going on there. Fine bf your four year old but why would you do it right there smack dab in a public place. Hell, isn't she concerned her child is going to start being made fun of by their peers. It's getting to the point that if she continues in public it's going to cause problems for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is EXACTLY the "badge of courage" I think a PP was referring to. This is also exactly why extended nursers are criticized on boards like this. I'm sorry PP that you had to witness and go through this. This has been my experience with extended nursers, too. It's not even a nutritional or psychological need of the child, but some sicko "thing" the mom has....almost like her identity is her breasts, etc. I'm disgusted by your experience, and have seen MANY a similar thing happen in public too. Nursing a young baby doesn't phase me at all, and I nursed for 13 months. But seeing whacked-out lactation nazis threatening to sue because they cannot expose their breasts in public to nurse their 4 year old is SICK and offensive!

I agree with this poster. Once children can speak, it is time to wean. It is a sign of some kind of mental instability and clinging to a child and insecurity about oneself to insist on nursing a FOUR year old (disgusting!) in a very public spake.

I happily breastfed my child until he weaned himself at 11 months. If women want to breastfeed, I think it's a wondrful thing to do--for a year, give or take. But like many wonderful things (footies, pacifiers), it starts to cross a line as your kids get older...

[Anonymous]

Please don't label all extended nursers as sick. A mom of a four year old nursing in a public spot is the exception to the norm.

I am a full-time working mom nursing her 24-month-old only when he asks to nurse, which is generally only in the morning and sometimes in the evening. And it is in our home, and definitely not a political statement. My instinct is that it would be good for him, so we will continue for the next few months as long as he asks. After that, I will likely wean him. Because the WHO recommends nursing to age two and beyond, I feel that it is good for him. I too used to say if my child was old enough to ask to nurse, he was too old to nurse.

Oh and to answer the original question, my son says "nurse."

[Anonymous]

I'm still not sure how nursing a child in public--even a 4 year old--is disrespectful?

Just because you don't want to see it? Well, then life must be tough, because there are lots of things I don't want to see in public, things that actually repulse me, but it is not disrespectful of others to engage in such behavior (or appearance).

[Anonymous]

You have no idea what you are talking about, sorry. There is NOTHING psychologically off, mentally unstable, or clingy about continuing to nurse at 4. Unless you have nursed an older child, you just don't get it, sorry.

And if you [general] respond with some story of another mom you know who nursed her child until he was 4 or 5 or whatever and the mother just did it because she couldn't let go, blah blah, I say, join the other offensice posters in this thread who know the same mom. And if it is true that SO MANY of you know some mom who nursed for so long , then it is not as uncommon or as weird as you would like to paint it, so what's the freaking problem?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is EXACTLY the "badge of courage" I think a PP was referring to. This is also exactly why extended nursers are criticized on boards like this. I'm sorry PP that you had to witness and go through this. This has been my experience with extended nursers, too. It's not even a nutritional or psychological need of the child, but some sicko "thing" the mom has....almost like her identity is her breasts, etc. I'm disgusted by your experience, and have seen MANY a similar thing happen in public too. Nursing a young baby doesn't phase me at all, and I nursed for 13 months. But seeing whacked-out lactation nazis threatening to sue because they cannot expose their breasts in public to nurse their 4 year old is SICK and offensive!

I agree with this poster. Once children can speak, it is time to wean. It is a sign of some kind of mental instability and clinging to a child and insecurity about oneself to insist on nursing a FOUR year old (disgusting!) in a very public spake.

I happily breastfed my child until he weaned himself at 11 months. If women want to breastfeed, I think it's a wondrful thing to do--for a year, give or take. But like many wonderful things (footies, pacifiers), it starts to cross a line as your kids get older...

[Anonymous]

I'm still not sure how nursing a child in public--even a 4 year old--is disrespectful?

Again, its not that it is in public per se, it is that the woman chooses to do it at pickup at daycare. That's just weird. Go home and do it - they want you out of there at the end of the day at daycare, and it sounds like she is just doing it to prove a point or get attention. If she was nursing her daughter on a park bench at a time that her kid was hungry and they weren't near their home, I would feel differently about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm still not sure how nursing a child in public--even a 4 year old--is disrespectful?

Again, its not that it is in public per se, it is that the woman chooses to do it at pickup at daycare. That's just weird. Go home and do it - they want you out of there at the end of the day at daycare, and it sounds like she is just doing it to prove a point or get attention. If she was nursing her daughter on a park bench at a time that her kid was hungry and they weren't near their home, I would feel differently about it.

I've posted before. Still nursing my 13 month old and don't plan to stop before two unless DS weans (which I won't discourage in any way). After two I may begin some gentle mother led weaning -- especially in public. So there's my background. I personally can't imagine nursing a four year old in public but I don't think it is wrong. I'm guessing, if this story is really true, that mom is seeking a way to reconnect with her little one after being separated all day. It sounds like a mother / child ritual that was established at some point and who are any of us to say that the child does not still need this?

Since PP said "daycare," I'm going to guess that the child is 3 or a young 4. Perhaps this pair will wean soon, but it's true that until they do they have every right to nurse there. People need to get it through their brains that breasts are not primarily a sensual / titilating (no pun intended) organ but are an organ of feeding, nurturing, and bonding.

If you read through these posts, many of the "ick" posters are offended because they do primarily view the breasts as for sex (as in sex between partners). So it's also hard to fault these women for being ballsy enough to ignore the mistaken perceptions of others in order to do what feels right for their children. Unfortunately, because peer pressure and societal judgment is what it is, PPs are correct that mom will have to stop doing this in public soon or her children will indeed suffer the mockery of other kids. Which sucks.

[Anonymous]

none of you know this mom who you are attacking. you don't know her reasons for doing what she did. you don't know her relationship with her kid. to assume that you know what is best for her and her child is self righteous and obnoxious. it wouldn't bother me at all to see a woman nursing a 4 year old in public. it's not something that offends me. there are definitely plenty of us out there who wouldn't get worked up about this. what's crazy to me is the fact that some people would get so angry about it -- you clearly aren't worried about the child, or the mother -- don't act like you are looking out for this child's best interest -- by attacking his mother you are not doing him any favors.

you don't know these people, and have not provided any evidence to support all the claims you are making about how bad it is for a mother to breastfeed an older child. you probably don't personally know anyone who has breastfed an older baby or toddler and you've probably never asked them about it to get their perspective. it's hard to take any of your criticism seriously. you do all sound ignorant and uninformed -- you're suggesting that your own unexplained repulsion should have more weight than a mother's legal right to nurse her child, and her right to do as she wants for her child, just as you do for yours.

everyone's claiming left and right now bad this is for children -- don't pretend to give a crap about kids who nurse for a long time, and anyway they don't need your sympathy or support. they are just fine the way they are and turn out quite nicely in my experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I'm not ignorant and uninformed...I think it is sicko to pull what that mom did. I don't have a problem with women who extended nurse per se, so long as they are respectful of others...then others will respect them, too. This woman was extremely disrespectful to others, and I think most people would agree, except for the lactation nazis.

Totally agree. The mom was somehow getting off on the whole thing in some way(not meaning in a sexual way). Some sort of exhibitionism going on there. Fine bf your four year old but why would you do it right there smack dab in a public place. Hell, isn't she concerned her child is going to start being made fun of by their peers. It's getting to the point that if she continues in public it's going to cause problems for the child.

[Anonymous]

Like it or not, there are certain things that become just for in private or just for at home as kids get older. For example, if my one year old poops his pants at the park, I would probably just change his diaper right there in the open. If my three year old goes at the park, we would probably go home or to an out of the way place in the park to change him. There is nothing wrong with either child going, and nothing sexual about a diaper change. But as the kid gets older, it is less socially acceptable to do it in public.