Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 0% jealous of friends with kids in private schools. Waving at them from my international vacation that I can afford because I'm not spending $40k a year on school.

I'd rather have the right school for my kids over international vacations (ours have been in private and now in public). But, my kids needs come before my wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 0% jealous of friends with kids in private schools. Waving at them from my international vacation that I can afford because I'm not spending $40k a year on school.

Almost everyone I know from our private is also currently on an “international vacation”, so fancy.

+1
This gave me a chuckle.
They said that so boastfully, as though it's not unheard of to be able to have your cake AND eat it too.

[Anonymous]

*ignore that not^ lol

[Anonymous]

I’m turned off by the elitist attitude of some private school parents.

We do what we think is best for our family. Almost all of our professional colleagues send their kids to private and their kids are often very entitled and not as strong academically as their very successful parents. This may have more to do with parenting.

[Anonymous]

Yes, everyone is extremely jealous because you’re winning at life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m turned off by the elitist attitude of some private school parents.

We do what we think is best for our family. Almost all of our professional colleagues send their kids to private and their kids are often very entitled and not as strong academically as their very successful parents. This may have more to do with parenting.

That's what I've noticed too. Successful parents outsourcing their difficult children. Spend the money; problem solved

But they really are genuine little sh#ts

Not jealous of private school teachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 0% jealous of friends with kids in private schools. Waving at them from my international vacation that I can afford because I'm not spending $40k a year on school.

Almost everyone I know from our private is also currently on an “international vacation”, so fancy.

+1
This gave me a chuckle.
They said that so boastfully, as though it's not unheard of to be able to have your cake AND eat it too.

I mean this here is an example of how classist and obnoxious some private school parents are (who only say crap like this when it’s anonymous). Meanwhile most people in the world struggle but they just laugh about having their cake and eating it too. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 0% jealous of friends with kids in private schools. Waving at them from my international vacation that I can afford because I'm not spending $40k a year on school.

Almost everyone I know from our private is also currently on an “international vacation”, so fancy.

+1
This gave me a chuckle.
They said that so boastfully, as though it's not unheard of to be able to have your cake AND eat it too.

I mean this here is an example of how classist and obnoxious some private school parents are (who only say crap like this when it’s anonymous). Meanwhile most people in the world struggle but they just laugh about having their cake and eating it too. Gross.

I don’t think these people realize while their school probably does have some positives, there absolutely are negatives including the attitude like pp. I would be horrified if my child acted this way. The kids learn this behavior from their parents and classmates.

[Anonymous]

Only read this page, and yes, op, as demonstrated here, some people will be jealous or at least feel the need to justify their own choices or lash out at yours. Best to focus on whatever qualities you like about them, and not bring up the subject in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a long term (10+ year) public school family that sends our kids to private high schools.

People get very, very weird about it (which makes sense). It eats at their own parenting insecurities---clearly our action of spending $50K for school implies that we (people they like and respect) thought public was not good enough for our kids.
Funny thing is that the insecurity definitely goes both ways (I sometimes regret not staying in public and there are many things about public that I miss).

So we don't talk about it. At all. Or only in the most generic ways. I never, ever say anything that could be conceived as bragging. I stick to all other kid issues: extracurriculars, sports, behavior challenges, friend issues, etc.
There is lots to talk about with ever delving into the school topic.
It works and we've maintained strong friendships.

Do your public school friends have a need to park there cars far away, so you can't see that they cost more than yours. Probably not, right? Then why should you have to worry about their insecurity about you choosing private school? You are placating their insecurity.

Usually the insecure one is the one who fears their kid(s) can’t hack it in the “big” public school so opt for the “small” private school and hand holding. Then they do the same for college, a small lib arts school.

DP here. We were going to switch our kids out of public. Our public has so many smart talented students. Besides the Big 3, I don’t think the DMV privates do much better than the top publics in terms of college admissions. We have confidence in our kids and they really didn’t want to switch so we decided to keep them in public.

The ones we are switching are usually the kids who are not the top students. Yes, 1 or 2 may switch to STA or NCS but the rest are usually the wealthier ones who weren’t the top. Of course there are the private school students who always were in private. The ones who switch from public are the ones who often didn’t do well socially or academically. I’m not saying they were struggling but they weren’t the ones who were at the top.

Exactly this. We switched from private to public. Bigger cohort of students. MUCH better math and science. Not too many private school students doing multivariable calculus or AP physics. Just a better education. Better life experiences. More opportunities to pursue their passions. And also better college outcomes.

This, of course, depends on the school district, I'm sure there are smart, well-adjusted kids going to STA and NCS. But generally, if you're lower county Montgomery it really is kids with higher needs or families that are particularly precious.

Our private offers both these classes and I would be shocked if others did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 0% jealous of friends with kids in private schools. Waving at them from my international vacation that I can afford because I'm not spending $40k a year on school.

You live around here at the point in time where we are just swimming in wealth and opportunities and you can’t do both? You have to choose and you are bragging about it. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 0% jealous of friends with kids in private schools. Waving at them from my international vacation that I can afford because I'm not spending $40k a year on school.

You live around here at the point in time where we are just swimming in wealth and opportunities and you can’t do both? You have to choose and you are bragging about it. Wow.

Typical nouveau riche response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 0% jealous of friends with kids in private schools. Waving at them from my international vacation that I can afford because I'm not spending $40k a year on school.

You live around here at the point in time where we are just swimming in wealth and opportunities and you can’t do both? You have to choose and you are bragging about it. Wow.

IKR? Ugh, poors who think they are rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only read this page, and yes, op, as demonstrated here, some people will be jealous or at least feel the need to justify their own choices or lash out at yours. Best to focus on whatever qualities you like about them, and not bring up the subject in the future.

This is a thread about public parents being jealous so we are responding that we are not jealous. We can afford to send our kids to private but we are staying at the local public. We are Asian American. Our highly regarded public is 30% Asian. I was always the token Asian when I was growing up and I want my children to be around others like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had the money to send my kids to private school. I am most definitely jealous of parents who can afford to do it. Maybe don’t talk about it. That’s your solution.

We send 1 kid to private and sacrifice a lot to do so. We spend about a quarter of our salary on this. Though we avoid mentioning this to people, I really find OP's attitude strange. You really should not feel bad or less than. Everyone chooses this for their own reasons. Sometimes it is the program or the child's strengths. Public excels at Stem and math. Many are great with this and want a career in these fields. Our kid wants to expand in a few additional areas which were harder to find at the age we began private. Ultimately it is absolutely about the student and not the school. If your child find ways to stand out, there is nothing he/she cannot achieve without the benefit of private. What's more, applicants to college from private are assessed against other private students, with all the benefits that entails. In the public larger pool, it can be easier to stand out- statistically at least. So before you feel too bad, consider that there are sometimes downsides to private as well, and with your encouragement, your child can and will succeed.

The reason I am jealous is that my kids would have benefited from smaller class sizes and more attention from their teachers. It didn’t occur to me to feel badly in terms of getting into colleges. I most definitely don’t feel less than. I do feel badly for my children though. Maybe their high school experiences would have been more positive and encouraging. The public schools where I live are pressure cookers, and the kids can be elitist and insensitive.