Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids feel like this - They are 17, 20 and 23 years old. They never want to have kids because they fear climate change and they also feel that the Earth will be inhabitable. They are resigned to more illnessess, crime and in future enslavement by rich people with power.

It makes me feel better to know idiots like your kids won’t reproduce.

[Anonymous]

That's why I'm encouraging my son to move back to Europe. He was born there, so he has EU citizenship, and already has a group of Danish friends, so hopefully it will all work out. I don't see a bright future in the United States.

[Anonymous]

The saddest thing about this is we won't get to hear how much this current generation of parents messed things up and how their grandchildren will be parented so much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The wrong people are having children. If we just passed a law that only college educated US citizens who own a home, make 100k HHI or more and can pass a background check, psych exam and genetic testing can have children for as little as 10 years would improve our gene pool.

Also overpopulated counties and third world countries should take a complete 10 year break on having kids.

Some extreme counties a 20 year break.

Ah yes, eugenics! What a wonderful idea. Yes, I am so sick of non-college educated people having children. How dare they!

(Sarcasm. I am terrified to know what you do for a living. You’re sick.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I can see how this “not having kids” phenomenon is popular. The younger people in my office (late 20-30s) are way too pessimistic, self-absorbed, and unusually emotionally immature. I honestly doubt many could handle the challenges of parenting.

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that choosing to have kids made you an altruistic, optimistic sage.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think it is because women and men are more lazy. I say that as my mother in law and father in law both with HS degrees had there kids.

My father in law after first took a part time job 20 hours a week after his full time job, they both a single failing house with two “boarders” in house in upstairs of cape. They rented rooms. They never went out to eat and mom went back to work when youngest turned 12.

Today most men would not get a second job, take in a boarder or skip luxuries a few years so wife could stay home and have three kids. They just whine and watch Netflix and play fortnight whine they hire gardeners, gutter cleaners. and handymen to do their work whine their wife struggles to work full time and raise kids. No wonder women are pushing back.

This is very true. American men are absurdly lazy. I’m an immigrant woman who married an American man and this laggard is bringing down the family. He combines very high living standards with very poor work ethic. I was working in very lucrative job when we married and so was he. Two special needs kids later, we are in a diminished financial position. I am the one who suffered complications giving birth to them and who does most of the childcare, yet I am undaunted. I stick to a budget and I have a side gig that is bringing in $2000-3000 extra per month. It never occurred to me to give up.

In contrast, my husband’s expenses have gone up as he has added a therapist to coach him through the depression that no longer having it easy has apparently caused him. He insist that he went to school for only one thing, so he can’t learn new skills or even help grow my side gig. He works only 9-5 and mismanages his time so that his ranking in his sales job has steadily fallen. Soon, he will be unemployed and he has another thing coming if he thinks he’s going to live off me.

All of the men in my family are absolutely scandalized by how useless he is. All of the Americans in our friend group, however, applaud him merely for holding down a job despite his “depression.” People here just have very low standards for themselves. The concept of rising to the occasion just doesn’t exist in this culture—at least not among middle class whites.

Depression is an illness that can be debilitating. How dare you put it in sarcastic quotes. I struggle with it daily. Your attitude doesn't help him at all-- I don't even think you want to help him. You should divorce him if you don't have any respect for him. He would be better off without a wife like you who only values money.

Immigrant PP here. Don’t whine about depression to me, you lazy American. Laziness is what you’re suffering from. Do you want to know what depression is? Depression is losing two siblings to malaria and my mother to complications from childbirth because we couldn’t afford ordinary antibiotics. That’s my background. Now that I am a mother, I feel those losses even deeply. And that’s just a fraction of my story. In spite of that suffering, I get up every single day and fight to do what I have to do. Because I have responsibilities to others. I owe it to my children and my family to do my part. You Americans have no concept of owing others something. If you don’t feel like doing something for yourself, that’s the end of the story. It’s all about you. And that’s why your whole life collapses once one bad thing happens to you. You are quitters. Even your divorce answer is that of a quitter. My husband needs to get up and get to living. I will do my best to motivate him. I am not staying for the joy of him. I am staying to keep my children’s family together and because I still believe in him — concepts most Americans don’t understand. I would never ever marry an American again, but I made my bed with this one and will stay the course as long as I can.

Jesus, I'd have to throw myself off a cliff if I were ever married to a nasty shrew like you. Death would be better than 30 years of a torturous marriage to your toxic ass.

+1. It’s hilarious that she fancies herself such a *prize* in comparison to her husband, when she’s shown herself to be nothing more than a nasty, judgmental, small person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

Don’t be. They made the choice they wanted. One of my sisters did and wouldn’t trade it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

I feel the same way honestly. It’s a shallow way to live. I mean I don’t think people should be parents if they don’t want to be, and I’m certainly sympathetic about those who had problems getting pregnant or don’t have a partner and can’t go it alone. It’s not in the cards for everyone. But these people spend all day on frivolous pursuits. They haven’t grown up. They dote on their cats/dogs as though they are people. I don’t think it’s a healthy way for everyone to live.

No. It’s not. You and your assumptions are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

She's making comments that just don't work for many of the people who are on DCUM. Many of us - or our spouses - aren't really in a position to get a second job and work an extra 10 or 20 hours a week. We don't have the sorts of jobs where you do something like that. The added value of 10 hours of Instacart driving just aren't really going to be the thing that makes life more affordable.

I'm not sure why it's lazy or whatever to say, I like my life as it is - I don't want to add more expense and stress to what I've built for myself. I think it's pretty self aware to understand yourself well enough, and feel secure enough with your own choices. If she wanted more kids - and a guy who'd go work at the supermarket on the weekend, or something - then she should have built a different life for herself. Maybe she can go get a job at the supermarket at night and on the weekends and stop being so entitled and lazy herself.

Immigrant PP here. I’m an accountant at a high-level company. I work very long hours. But there is always free time to find, if you want to find it. I used free resources to learn how to code and then built websites for free until I had the skill and word-of-mouth respect to charge. Now, I do freelance projects on the side that go far beyond websites. I continue to build my skill set. This has become my hobby and my side gig.

If you’re on DCUM, you have extra time for a side gig. It’s all right if you don’t want one, but stop making excuses for why you can’t generate extra income.

Honestly this vision of life you keep describing sounds miserable. I'm glad it works for you but perhaps you chose the wrong spouse since it seems like hes not interested in working every second of every day.

Some of us want to spend our precious free time with our families.

Yeah, nasty PP could drop dead tomorrow with plenty of money in the bank and not another minute to spend with her family. Pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of three kids my issue is I devoted a huge amount of my life to them and literally millions of dollars between cost to raise them and college. They are great kids. All very talented, healthy and beautiful. My one daughter for example literally looks like Scarlet Johansson, award winning artist and is wrapping up college and already has a great job lined up in a FinTech. Between all the work from school, soccer, teaching then to drive, college, even how to sew, cook, shop, home repairs, religion classes etc. if she does not have kids what’s the point. And all three of my kids are that great. My house. My cars. My memories I even existed is worthless without a future generation.

HAHAHAHA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is because women and men are more lazy. I say that as my mother in law and father in law both with HS degrees had there kids.

My father in law after first took a part time job 20 hours a week after his full time job, they both a single failing house with two “boarders” in house in upstairs of cape. They rented rooms. They never went out to eat and mom went back to work when youngest turned 12.

Today most men would not get a second job, take in a boarder or skip luxuries a few years so wife could stay home and have three kids. They just whine and watch Netflix and play fortnight whine they hire gardeners, gutter cleaners. and handymen to do their work whine their wife struggles to work full time and raise kids. No wonder women are pushing back.

This is very true. American men are absurdly lazy. I’m an immigrant woman who married an American man and this laggard is bringing down the family. He combines very high living standards with very poor work ethic. I was working in very lucrative job when we married and so was he. Two special needs kids later, we are in a diminished financial position. I am the one who suffered complications giving birth to them and who does most of the childcare, yet I am undaunted. I stick to a budget and I have a side gig that is bringing in $2000-3000 extra per month. It never occurred to me to give up.

In contrast, my husband’s expenses have gone up as he has added a therapist to coach him through the depression that no longer having it easy has apparently caused him. He insist that he went to school for only one thing, so he can’t learn new skills or even help grow my side gig. He works only 9-5 and mismanages his time so that his ranking in his sales job has steadily fallen. Soon, he will be unemployed and he has another thing coming if he thinks he’s going to live off me.

All of the men in my family are absolutely scandalized by how useless he is. All of the Americans in our friend group, however, applaud him merely for holding down a job despite his “depression.” People here just have very low standards for themselves. The concept of rising to the occasion just doesn’t exist in this culture—at least not among middle class whites.

Depression is an illness that can be debilitating. How dare you put it in sarcastic quotes. I struggle with it daily. Your attitude doesn't help him at all-- I don't even think you want to help him. You should divorce him if you don't have any respect for him. He would be better off without a wife like you who only values money.

Immigrant PP here. Don’t whine about depression to me, you lazy American. Laziness is what you’re suffering from. Do you want to know what depression is? Depression is losing two siblings to malaria and my mother to complications from childbirth because we couldn’t afford ordinary antibiotics. That’s my background. Now that I am a mother, I feel those losses even deeply. And that’s just a fraction of my story. In spite of that suffering, I get up every single day and fight to do what I have to do. Because I have responsibilities to others. I owe it to my children and my family to do my part. You Americans have no concept of owing others something. If you don’t feel like doing something for yourself, that’s the end of the story. It’s all about you. And that’s why your whole life collapses once one bad thing happens to you. You are quitters. Even your divorce answer is that of a quitter. My husband needs to get up and get to living. I will do my best to motivate him. I am not staying for the joy of him. I am staying to keep my children’s family together and because I still believe in him — concepts most Americans don’t understand. I would never ever marry an American again, but I made my bed with this one and will stay the course as long as I can.

Jesus, I'd have to throw myself off a cliff if I were ever married to a nasty shrew like you. Death would be better than 30 years of a torturous marriage to your toxic ass.

+1. It’s hilarious that she fancies herself such a *prize* in comparison to her husband, when she’s shown herself to be nothing more than a nasty, judgmental, small person.

And if she knew how to use birth control, she wouldn't have to suffer so much.

Not having kids means having the luxury not to stay in situations that don't spark joy.

Not having kids means not feeling obligated to stay in abusive or unhappy marriages. Not wanting kids means not even feeling as much pressure to get married in the first place.

It's a beautiful life that provides more opportunity to pursue passions. It's easier to live a fulfilling life (whatever that means to you -- whether it's watching Netflix or saving the world) when your entire universe isn't focused around your own household. Parents are some of the most selfish, self-absorbed people around when it comes to having time, energy, and resources to give to anyone they didn't spawn.

[Anonymous]

Yeesh, you know the truth has been told when the mentally ill people here come out swinging. A lot of you are injured by “immigrant PP” because you’re the lazy Americans she’s talking about. I work hard and maintain perspective. Her comments didn’t bother me one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is because women and men are more lazy. I say that as my mother in law and father in law both with HS degrees had there kids.

My father in law after first took a part time job 20 hours a week after his full time job, they both a single failing house with two “boarders” in house in upstairs of cape. They rented rooms. They never went out to eat and mom went back to work when youngest turned 12.

Today most men would not get a second job, take in a boarder or skip luxuries a few years so wife could stay home and have three kids. They just whine and watch Netflix and play fortnight whine they hire gardeners, gutter cleaners. and handymen to do their work whine their wife struggles to work full time and raise kids. No wonder women are pushing back.

This is very true. American men are absurdly lazy. I’m an immigrant woman who married an American man and this laggard is bringing down the family. He combines very high living standards with very poor work ethic. I was working in very lucrative job when we married and so was he. Two special needs kids later, we are in a diminished financial position. I am the one who suffered complications giving birth to them and who does most of the childcare, yet I am undaunted. I stick to a budget and I have a side gig that is bringing in $2000-3000 extra per month. It never occurred to me to give up.

In contrast, my husband’s expenses have gone up as he has added a therapist to coach him through the depression that no longer having it easy has apparently caused him. He insist that he went to school for only one thing, so he can’t learn new skills or even help grow my side gig. He works only 9-5 and mismanages his time so that his ranking in his sales job has steadily fallen. Soon, he will be unemployed and he has another thing coming if he thinks he’s going to live off me.

All of the men in my family are absolutely scandalized by how useless he is. All of the Americans in our friend group, however, applaud him merely for holding down a job despite his “depression.” People here just have very low standards for themselves. The concept of rising to the occasion just doesn’t exist in this culture—at least not among middle class whites.

Depression is an illness that can be debilitating. How dare you put it in sarcastic quotes. I struggle with it daily. Your attitude doesn't help him at all-- I don't even think you want to help him. You should divorce him if you don't have any respect for him. He would be better off without a wife like you who only values money.

Immigrant PP here. Don’t whine about depression to me, you lazy American. Laziness is what you’re suffering from. Do you want to know what depression is? Depression is losing two siblings to malaria and my mother to complications from childbirth because we couldn’t afford ordinary antibiotics. That’s my background. Now that I am a mother, I feel those losses even deeply. And that’s just a fraction of my story. In spite of that suffering, I get up every single day and fight to do what I have to do. Because I have responsibilities to others. I owe it to my children and my family to do my part. You Americans have no concept of owing others something. If you don’t feel like doing something for yourself, that’s the end of the story. It’s all about you. And that’s why your whole life collapses once one bad thing happens to you. You are quitters. Even your divorce answer is that of a quitter. My husband needs to get up and get to living. I will do my best to motivate him. I am not staying for the joy of him. I am staying to keep my children’s family together and because I still believe in him — concepts most Americans don’t understand. I would never ever marry an American again, but I made my bed with this one and will stay the course as long as I can.

Jesus, I'd have to throw myself off a cliff if I were ever married to a nasty shrew like you. Death would be better than 30 years of a torturous marriage to your toxic ass.

+1. It’s hilarious that she fancies herself such a *prize* in comparison to her husband, when she’s shown herself to be nothing more than a nasty, judgmental, small person.

And if she knew how to use birth control, she wouldn't have to suffer so much.

Not having kids means having the luxury not to stay in situations that don't spark joy.

Not having kids means not feeling obligated to stay in abusive or unhappy marriages. Not wanting kids means not even feeling as much pressure to get married in the first place.

It's a beautiful life that provides more opportunity to pursue passions. It's easier to live a fulfilling life (whatever that means to you -- whether it's watching Netflix or saving the world) when your entire universe isn't focused around your own household. Parents are some of the most selfish, self-absorbed people around when it comes to having time, energy, and resources to give to anyone they didn't spawn.

OMG could you be any more obvious about being the snowflake she’s talking about?

So, a stranger on the internet shamed you. BFD. You’ll survive it. Ask your therapist to up your dose of Wellbutrin, Seroquel, or whatever prescription opioid they’re pacifying the masses with nowadays.

[Anonymous]

If people are so happy to be born, why are most people suffering from anxiety, depression, adhd, bipolar or some other mental health issue these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If people are so happy to be born, why are most people suffering from anxiety, depression, adhd, bipolar or some other mental health issue these days?

Most Americans, certainly. Get out a bit and see how much more resilient and normal people outside Western Europe and America are. Maybe humans need real struggle to appreciate life. Looking at America and Western Europe, too much comfort seems to breed weakness, ingratitude, and mental illness.