Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Lol. Posting so proudly that you don’t want children. Posting so proudly on a site called DC Urban MOM. Weirdos. When I was childless I didn’t search out parent boards to read and post. Strange bunch.

+1. Idle and unhappy.

This is one of the nastiest, most toxic boards on the Internet. Reflect on that.

Well that is true.

+2. I'm regularly appalled by the nasty posts I read on here, and yes, I'm a fool and keep coming back. I blame it on the fact that I've moved to a new city without a lot of friends, but every time I read threads like this one it's a reminder I need to get a better social life so I can come here much less often.

If you want kids stop sleeping on your stomach.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is actually a very addictive portal to come to and read about all the hardships of parenting. It's not just the financial woes but also the anguish of having a difficult child and they don't just stop having problems at age 18. I think many people downplay other issues that childfree people know to avoid. A child is one way you're forever tied to another person, and is also an impediment to re-partnering (es. for women). I guess you can be a SMBC but if you die, that means your kid is going into foster care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is actually a very addictive portal to come to and read about all the hardships of parenting. It's not just the financial woes but also the anguish of having a difficult child and they don't just stop having problems at age 18. I think many people downplay other issues that childfree people know to avoid. A child is one way you're forever tied to another person, and is also an impediment to re-partnering (es. for women). I guess you can be a SMBC but if you die, that means your kid is going into foster care.

Guardianship is a thing. If a woman has the wherewithal to plan to be a single mother, she generally makes arrangements for her child should something happen to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is actually a very addictive portal to come to and read about all the hardships of parenting. It's not just the financial woes but also the anguish of having a difficult child and they don't just stop having problems at age 18. I think many people downplay other issues that childfree people know to avoid. A child is one way you're forever tied to another person, and is also an impediment to re-partnering (es. for women). I guess you can be a SMBC but if you die, that means your kid is going into foster care.

Guardianship is a thing. If a woman has the wherewithal to plan to be a single mother, she generally makes arrangements for her child should something happen to her.

I know. My sister wants me to be the guardian of her kid but I refuse. She deliberately got knocked up by some random dude and wants me to care for the kid? Hell no.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My 2 older siblings are childless. 38 and 44. The holidays they spend watching Netflix and surfing Reddit. I am sad for them.

I feel the same way honestly. It’s a shallow way to live. I mean I don’t think people should be parents if they don’t want to be, and I’m certainly sympathetic about those who had problems getting pregnant or don’t have a partner and can’t go it alone. It’s not in the cards for everyone. But these people spend all day on frivolous pursuits. They haven’t grown up. They dote on their cats/dogs as though they are people. I don’t think it’s a healthy way for everyone to live.

I'm a childfree woman in my early 40s. What is shallow about making the decision not to have children? You're aware there is more to life than being a parent, right? I spend time with my family and friends and love being an auntie and godmother. I love having the freedom to travel and be actively involved in volunteer opportunities. If you want kids, great, but there's no reason to insult those of us who choose a different path in life.

Honestly with some of these people you get the feeling it's all they have. They've given up every other part of life for parenthood and if they can't tell themselves that it's the only choice that matters, and that good people all make that choice, then it calls their whole existence into question.

Nailed it. 100% spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can tell just by reading this supposed mother (and father) forum that a large % of posters are childless and pretending to be parents. A couple of unhinged spinsters just exposed themselves in a random entertainment thread. I feel sorry for them. Motherhood and heirs changes you in profound ways they will NEVER understand.

I’m sorry you are so insecure and have no identity besides being a mom. That must be rough.

—a parent

[Anonymous]

This is successful indoctrination. Plan kalergi.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you think about, purely from a financial perspective, I am doing way, way worse than my friends who did not have kids (chosen not to or just couldn't because of biology, relationships, circumstances, etc).

It is an interesting thing to see right now since I'm in the thick of it, but US society doesn't encourage having children. If anything, there are economic disincentives built into the economy. No paid leave after having a child, an expensive childcare framework that is regulated to high hell by the government (for safety reasons, is unquestionably a good thing) with no financial support of the government (which people endless dispute as to whether it is shitty or not). Tax benefits are minimal. College savings programs aren't deductible federally and student loan interest is subject to income limits that drive people out of being able to take the deductions. Factor in the caps on SALT deductions (local property taxes pay for schools and surprise, the federal government DOESN'T want to encourage this I guess) and well...here we are.

+1. Couldn't agree more.

Can we talk about this? Because this time a million.

I think this is fine because it's a bad idea to financially incentivize having children. The world is overpopulated, and we can solve labor problems through immigration.

Actually, that's not happening because immigration is politically unpopular. Part of the labor market issue (beyond the deaths associated with covid) is that immigration slowed to a trickle during Trump. No workers and here we are...

I disagree with you that immigration is politically unpopular; Trump was just a xenophobic asshole who inflicted his hateful beliefs on the US. But in any case it doesn’t matter. The US owes much of its success to being a place where global talent flocks. If we close the borders we will go significantly downhill, plus we need a lot of cheap labor to do the tasks no US-born people will deign to do. Unless you’re fine with your child scrubbing toilets for a living, and will have additional children towards that end? No, didn’t think so. The US was founded on immigration and will always remain reliant on it.

[Anonymous]

Illegal immigration is a problem and must be stopped.

Legal immigration is a wonderful cornerstone of our country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is actually a very addictive portal to come to and read about all the hardships of parenting. It's not just the financial woes but also the anguish of having a difficult child and they don't just stop having problems at age 18. I think many people downplay other issues that childfree people know to avoid. A child is one way you're forever tied to another person, and is also an impediment to re-partnering (es. for women). I guess you can be a SMBC but if you die, that means your kid is going into foster care.

Guardianship is a thing. If a woman has the wherewithal to plan to be a single mother, she generally makes arrangements for her child should something happen to her.

I know. My sister wants me to be the guardian of her kid but I refuse. She deliberately got knocked up by some random dude and wants me to care for the kid? Hell no.

So then she'll find someone else. Jeez. I have a feeling you'd be just as hostile if she was childless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is actually a very addictive portal to come to and read about all the hardships of parenting. It's not just the financial woes but also the anguish of having a difficult child and they don't just stop having problems at age 18. I think many people downplay other issues that childfree people know to avoid. A child is one way you're forever tied to another person, and is also an impediment to re-partnering (es. for women). I guess you can be a SMBC but if you die, that means your kid is going into foster care.

Guardianship is a thing. If a woman has the wherewithal to plan to be a single mother, she generally makes arrangements for her child should something happen to her.

I know. My sister wants me to be the guardian of her kid but I refuse. She deliberately got knocked up by some random dude and wants me to care for the kid? Hell no.

So then she'll find someone else. Jeez. I have a feeling you'd be just as hostile if she was childless.

She doesnt have anyone else. Why do you think she asked me?

[Anonymous]

I am a single mom by choice. I have made a plan with my close friend and her husband and family to be my child's guardian. My child s 15 now so only applies for 3 more years. If i die she inherits everything (detailed planning). Any person who becomes a parent without this kind of planning is an irresponsible idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom by choice. I have made a plan with my close friend and her husband and family to be my child's guardian. My child s 15 now so only applies for 3 more years. If i die she inherits everything (detailed planning). Any person who becomes a parent without this kind of planning is an irresponsible idiot.

Well, I agree. But what if no one is willing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell just by reading this supposed mother (and father) forum that a large % of posters are childless and pretending to be parents. A couple of unhinged spinsters just exposed themselves in a random entertainment thread. I feel sorry for them. Motherhood and heirs changes you in profound ways they will NEVER understand.

I’m sorry you are so insecure and have no identity besides being a mom. That must be rough.

—a parent

I actually think parenthood does change some people profoundly, some people are incredibly self-absorbed and lead fairly meaningless party girl/party boy existence until they have kids, then their eyes are opened to how awesome it can be to not be so self-focused to do for someone else. They assume everyone else is like they were pre-kid, totally vapid, it boggles their minds that some people didn't need to become a parent to be a decent human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell just by reading this supposed mother (and father) forum that a large % of posters are childless and pretending to be parents. A couple of unhinged spinsters just exposed themselves in a random entertainment thread. I feel sorry for them. Motherhood and heirs changes you in profound ways they will NEVER understand.

I’m sorry you are so insecure and have no identity besides being a mom. That must be rough.

—a parent

I actually think parenthood does change some people profoundly, some people are incredibly self-absorbed and lead fairly meaningless party girl/party boy existence until they have kids, then their eyes are opened to how awesome it can be to not be so self-focused to do for someone else. They assume everyone else is like they were pre-kid, totally vapid, it boggles their minds that some people didn't need to become a parent to be a decent human being.

Yup. I've heard people say that they didn't care about anyone else until they had kids, didn't care about what was happening in the world, didn't care about anything really. My reaction to them is "I'm glad you're not a sociopath anymore but most people never were."