Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is happening in most “first world” countries. Japan, Korea, many European countries. I have a lot of kids but don’t care if my kids have kids (it would be fun to have 1 grandchild I guess) but I also think it’s a good thing for the environment to have fewer kids being born.

I agree. I have four kids (youngest is 19), and I have limited interest in becoming a grandparent. So much has changed with the world that I am glad mine are all grown. I would not chose to bring children into the current state of the world; shit has gotten too weird.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think it is because women and men are more lazy. I say that as my mother in law and father in law both with HS degrees had there kids.

My father in law after first took a part time job 20 hours a week after his full time job, they both a single failing house with two “boarders” in house in upstairs of cape. They rented rooms. They never went out to eat and mom went back to work when youngest turned 12.

Today most men would not get a second job, take in a boarder or skip luxuries a few years so wife could stay home and have three kids. They just whine and watch Netflix and play fortnight whine they hire gardeners, gutter cleaners. and handymen to do their work whine their wife struggles to work full time and raise kids. No wonder women are pushing back.

This is very true. American men are absurdly lazy. I’m an immigrant woman who married an American man and this laggard is bringing down the family. He combines very high living standards with very poor work ethic. I was working in very lucrative job when we married and so was he. Two special needs kids later, we are in a diminished financial position. I am the one who suffered complications giving birth to them and who does most of the childcare, yet I am undaunted. I stick to a budget and I have a side gig that is bringing in $2000-3000 extra per month. It never occurred to me to give up.

In contrast, my husband’s expenses have gone up as he has added a therapist to coach him through the depression that no longer having it easy has apparently caused him. He insist that he went to school for only one thing, so he can’t learn new skills or even help grow my side gig. He works only 9-5 and mismanages his time so that his ranking in his sales job has steadily fallen. Soon, he will be unemployed and he has another thing coming if he thinks he’s going to live off me.

All of the men in my family are absolutely scandalized by how useless he is. All of the Americans in our friend group, however, applaud him merely for holding down a job despite his “depression.” People here just have very low standards for themselves. The concept of rising to the occasion just doesn’t exist in this culture—at least not among middle class whites.

Depression is an illness that can be debilitating. How dare you put it in sarcastic quotes. I struggle with it daily. Your attitude doesn't help him at all-- I don't even think you want to help him. You should divorce him if you don't have any respect for him. He would be better off without a wife like you who only values money.

Immigrant PP here. Don’t whine about depression to me, you lazy American. Laziness is what you’re suffering from. Do you want to know what depression is? Depression is losing two siblings to malaria and my mother to complications from childbirth because we couldn’t afford ordinary antibiotics. That’s my background. Now that I am a mother, I feel those losses even deeply. And that’s just a fraction of my story. In spite of that suffering, I get up every single day and fight to do what I have to do. Because I have responsibilities to others. I owe it to my children and my family to do my part. You Americans have no concept of owing others something. If you don’t feel like doing something for yourself, that’s the end of the story. It’s all about you. And that’s why your whole life collapses once one bad thing happens to you. You are quitters. Even your divorce answer is that of a quitter. My husband needs to get up and get to living. I will do my best to motivate him. I am not staying for the joy of him. I am staying to keep my children’s family together and because I still believe in him — concepts most Americans don’t understand. I would never ever marry an American again, but I made my bed with this one and will stay the course as long as I can.

Jesus, I'd have to throw myself off a cliff if I were ever married to a nasty shrew like you. Death would be better than 30 years of a torturous marriage to your toxic ass.

+1. It’s hilarious that she fancies herself such a *prize* in comparison to her husband, when she’s shown herself to be nothing more than a nasty, judgmental, small person.

And if she knew how to use birth control, she wouldn't have to suffer so much.

Not having kids means having the luxury not to stay in situations that don't spark joy.

Not having kids means not feeling obligated to stay in abusive or unhappy marriages. Not wanting kids means not even feeling as much pressure to get married in the first place.

It's a beautiful life that provides more opportunity to pursue passions. It's easier to live a fulfilling life (whatever that means to you -- whether it's watching Netflix or saving the world) when your entire universe isn't focused around your own household. Parents are some of the most selfish, self-absorbed people around when it comes to having time, energy, and resources to give to anyone they didn't spawn.

OMG could you be any more obvious about being the snowflake she’s talking about?

So, a stranger on the internet shamed you. BFD. You’ll survive it. Ask your therapist to up your dose of Wellbutrin, Seroquel, or whatever prescription opioid they’re pacifying the masses with nowadays.

I will pray for you PP that you will find sympathy and love in your heart before it's too late. Maybe on Xmas Eve three spirits will visit you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people are so happy to be born, why are most people suffering from anxiety, depression, adhd, bipolar or some other mental health issue these days?

Most Americans, certainly. Get out a bit and see how much more resilient and normal people outside Western Europe and America are. Maybe humans need real struggle to appreciate life. Looking at America and Western Europe, too much comfort seems to breed weakness, ingratitude, and mental illness.

🤡🤡🤡

Yeah it's not at all that they don't have access to healthcare. Next thing you are going to say is that they are "poor but happy"

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/apr/30/busting-the-myth-that-depression-doesnt-affect-people-in-poor-countries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I can see how this “not having kids” phenomenon is popular. The younger people in my office (late 20-30s) are way too pessimistic, self-absorbed, and unusually emotionally immature. I honestly doubt many could handle the challenges of parenting.

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that choosing to have kids made you an altruistic, optimistic sage.

It still doesn’t refute what PP wrote about many of those in that age bracket remaining incredibly immature compared to previous generations. It’s a positive thing for them to remain childless so they can continue to focus on themselves.

[Anonymous]

If we really wanted people to have kids we’d fund Fertility treatments. Environmental factors have caused decrease in fertility around the world and no one talks about it. On top of that our economy makes having kids unviable until you’re in your 30’s. But even the best health insurance usually does not cover fertility.

[Anonymous]

I don't have enough money to have fertility treatments, and I don't have enough money to adopt. I don't even have enough leave / vacation from my job to adopt. If I was able to have a child naturally, I would have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people are so happy to be born, why are most people suffering from anxiety, depression, adhd, bipolar or some other mental health issue these days?

Most Americans, certainly. Get out a bit and see how much more resilient and normal people outside Western Europe and America are. Maybe humans need real struggle to appreciate life. Looking at America and Western Europe, too much comfort seems to breed weakness, ingratitude, and mental illness.

This is going to sound real bad but when I feel kinda annoyed with life and work, I look up videos on Youtube of people who really struggle. Like the other day, I was watching an Asian Boss feature on a 15yo teen mom in a Filipino slum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's why I'm encouraging my son to move back to Europe. He was born there, so he has EU citizenship, and already has a group of Danish friends, so hopefully it will all work out. I don't see a bright future in the United States.

But he prefers it here in the states?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's why I'm encouraging my son to move back to Europe. He was born there, so he has EU citizenship, and already has a group of Danish friends, so hopefully it will all work out. I don't see a bright future in the United States.

But he prefers it here in the states?

This is one of the reasons to encourage bilingualism in your child if you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

Calling people lazy, quitters and showing disdain for American people does not prove her right. Its not sensitive or an overreaction to call out rude people who make rude comments. People can discuss things without resorting to name calling which is rude amongst other things.

Immigrant PP is not kicking anyone's ass, I think her contempt and anger are evident in her language and posts, she is not a happy person, does not have a happy marriage and is probably being crushed by all her responsibilities. This is why she doesn't speak nicely, her resentment boils over and whilst others can see it, she can't and neither can you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

Exactly. So well said. Frankly, as an American, it's embarrassing.

People would rather attack than accept some uncomfortable truths about themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

Exactly. So well said. Frankly, as an American, it's embarrassing.

People would rather attack than accept some uncomfortable truths about themselves.

I’m not sure how Americans not wanting to have children translates to “Americans are lazy”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And if she knew how to use birth control, she wouldn't have to suffer so much.

Not having kids means having the luxury not to stay in situations that don't spark joy.

Not having kids means not feeling obligated to stay in abusive or unhappy marriages. Not wanting kids means not even feeling as much pressure to get married in the first place.

It's a beautiful life that provides more opportunity to pursue passions. It's easier to live a fulfilling life (whatever that means to you -- whether it's watching Netflix or saving the world) when your entire universe isn't focused around your own household. Parents are some of the most selfish, self-absorbed people around when it comes to having time, energy, and resources to give to anyone they didn't spawn.

OMG could you be any more obvious about being the snowflake she’s talking about?

So, a stranger on the internet shamed you. BFD. You’ll survive it. Ask your therapist to up your dose of Wellbutrin, Seroquel, or whatever prescription opioid they’re pacifying the masses with nowadays.

I will pray for you PP that you will find sympathy and love in your heart before it's too late. Maybe on Xmas Eve three spirits will visit you.
I pray that you’ll learn how to face life without medication and a therapist depleting your savings. Grow up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

Exactly. So well said. Frankly, as an American, it's embarrassing.

People would rather attack than accept some uncomfortable truths about themselves.

I’m not sure how Americans not wanting to have children translates to “Americans are lazy”.

You’re obviously too lazy to read immigrant PP’s post. She explained it in plain English. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in this thread are just proving the immigrant PP right.

She’s saying stand up, work hard, and don’t be a victim. What sane person can really disagree with that?

You’re all overreacting because she didn’t say it nicely and kiss your ass. We’ve become a nation of oversensitive snowflakes.

Calling people lazy, quitters and showing disdain for American people does not prove her right. Its not sensitive or an overreaction to call out rude people who make rude comments. People can discuss things without resorting to name calling which is rude amongst other things.

Immigrant PP is not kicking anyone's ass, I think her contempt and anger are evident in her language and posts, she is not a happy person, does not have a happy marriage and is probably being crushed by all her responsibilities. This is why she doesn't speak nicely, her resentment boils over and whilst others can see it, she can't and neither can you.

I share her contempt and anger towards lazy, spoiled Americans like you. No matter how you attack immigrant PP, it doesn’t change that life has defeated you.