What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well educated is such an undefined term. People say they want well read but don't count sci fi / fantasy / sports as reading. People say they want advanced degrees but only in certain fields. People say they want schools but only certain names.

Its funny because I used to get into these conversations all the time, but found that those looking for a well educated man generally weren't educated themselves. I was just looking for somebody to discuss Name of the Wind with.

Well read is what I think most people like. They can be interesting, and can keep up with different topics.

My ex is from blue collar Baltimore family, and while, she has a degree, parents do not. They ingrained so crazy stuff in her, “ don’t be an organ donor, the hospital will check your wallet, and let you die on the table,so they can harvest”, didn’t want vaccines when kids young, Trump could do no wrong…

I’m recently divorced, if I can find a well read, in shape woman, I’d consider it a big success.

One of my in-laws believes the same organ donor thing, and he went to Harvard Law. At least he acknowledges it's irrational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Well-educated" = financially well off. The same as when women say they want a man who is "ambitious".

Not necessarily; you can be well educated without having made your money yet. Plenty of people marry potential, it’s more important that the guy have a plan and the ability to follow it.

In their late 30s, that plan better already have been executed…

[Anonymous]

If a woman puts “well-educated” on her list, it’s fine. If a woman doesn’t care about that, it’s fine.

Maybe you can call some women too picky because their lists of desired attributes are long, but wanting a partner who is well-educated doesn’t mean their lists are long. Maybe the only things this woman wants is well-educated, wants kids, and employed. It’s also possible that a woman who doesn’t care about her partner being well-educated wants a guy over 6’, makes over 100K, has great arms, wants kids, wants a SAHM, loves to write her poetry, comes from a great family or origin, and twenty other things.

I seriously don’t understand why people seem to be skipping over the fact that wanting a well-educated man necessarily has to do with being picky.

[Anonymous]

OP’s requirement of a salary of 70K is actually kind of high. In this area it seems like peanuts but when you’re talking about starting salaries that excludes a host of jobs, like teacher, nurse, government attorney (and most government jobs really), electrician, small business owner, college professor, and yoga instructor. The average job in the US pays what, 35K a year? It must be far lower for starting salaries.

Yes there are far fewer people who can be considered “highly educated” than there are who make 70K a year but it’s not like it’s a standard so low that it’s hardly a standard at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Statistically, people with college degrees experience less unemployment, earn more, stay healthier, and and generally are more stable. Who doesn't want stable?

Also, I am in my 50s and don't know anyone with their own business who doesn't also have either a college degree, family wealth (Mom and Dad got them started), or are retired from a first career (life firefighters and teachers) and have some accumulated wealth to invest in a business. They therefore have a lifetime of work experience behind them that compensates for a lack of degree). I assume millennials and now Gen Z face an even harder time trying to start up their own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I know more blue collar people with their own businesses than people with degrees.

DP. Why are you conflating these things? I don't care about finding someone who owns his own business, and I do care about education. I make plenty of money. I care about education for its own sake. (I'm married to my college boyfriend so I am not actually searching, but observing in the abstract). It doesn’t have to be a degree, though. Many avid readers out there, that educate themselves without paying 100 k a year.

For me, it does have to be a degree. I want someone with whom I am culturally compatible.

[Anonymous]

High IQ just below genius...130s.

My problem is women who have been intimidated by that. Seriously, never understood why they can't understand that a person of intellect can be wowed by talents beyond the IQ. A weak minded immature person of high intelligence might need to intimidate others with their knowledge and they should be avoided. But for me I don't put a lot of stock in something I was born with and have a high regard for others who have learned and accomplished in areas of their life that I couldn't possibly do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High IQ just below genius...130s.

My problem is women who have been intimidated by that. Seriously, never understood why they can't understand that a person of intellect can be wowed by talents beyond the IQ. A weak minded immature person of high intelligence might need to intimidate others with their knowledge and they should be avoided. But for me I don't put a lot of stock in something I was born with and have a high regard for others who have learned and accomplished in areas of their life that I couldn't possibly do.

Why is it that above-average people have the biggest egos. There are tons of women in this area with IQs above 130s that are "wow"-worthy but PP ignores them to be the "smart one". That is his only worth it sounds like.

[Anonymous]

There are tons of women in this area with IQs above 130s that are "wow"-worthy

Nah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a degree but have been told that my emotional intelligence is off the charts. Does that count 😩

Yes, of course. Education does not make high EQ. Case in point: DH and I. Two PHDs heading for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High IQ just below genius...130s.

My problem is women who have been intimidated by that. Seriously, never understood why they can't understand that a person of intellect can be wowed by talents beyond the IQ. A weak minded immature person of high intelligence might need to intimidate others with their knowledge and they should be avoided. But for me I don't put a lot of stock in something I was born with and have a high regard for others who have learned and accomplished in areas of their life that I couldn't possibly do.

Why is it that above-average people have the biggest egos. There are tons of women in this area with IQs above 130s that are "wow"-worthy but PP ignores them to be the "smart one". That is his only worth it sounds like.

I haven't met one yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a woman puts “well-educated” on her list, it’s fine. If a woman doesn’t care about that, it’s fine.

Maybe you can call some women too picky because their lists of desired attributes are long, but wanting a partner who is well-educated doesn’t mean their lists are long. Maybe the only things this woman wants is well-educated, wants kids, and employed. It’s also possible that a woman who doesn’t care about her partner being well-educated wants a guy over 6’, makes over 100K, has great arms, wants kids, wants a SAHM, loves to write her poetry, comes from a great family or origin, and twenty other things.

I seriously don’t understand why people seem to be skipping over the fact that wanting a well-educated man necessarily has to do with being picky.

Lol that you think a woman who says she wants a “well-educated“ man means a high school English teacher with a Master’s degree earning $57,000.

[Anonymous]

Kind of a tangent, but this thread has me wondering how common it is for people to sort of regress in their educational qualities. I know some people who seemed smart and curious in college who now seem dumb as stumps. They don't seem to spend a lot of time thinking anymore, aren't curious, don't seem to read much, aren't particularly witty, etc. It's like they got of school and just started plodding along from day to day in a narrowly focused career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High IQ just below genius...130s.

My problem is women who have been intimidated by that. Seriously, never understood why they can't understand that a person of intellect can be wowed by talents beyond the IQ. A weak minded immature person of high intelligence might need to intimidate others with their knowledge and they should be avoided. But for me I don't put a lot of stock in something I was born with and have a high regard for others who have learned and accomplished in areas of their life that I couldn't possibly do.

Why is it that above-average people have the biggest egos. There are tons of women in this area with IQs above 130s that are "wow"-worthy but PP ignores them to be the "smart one". That is his only worth it sounds like.

It's obvious you didn't really read what I wrote and I do not have an ego about my IQ, quite the opposite, and said the following because some are insecure about their level of intelligence as if that is all that important..."why they can't understand that a person of intellect can be wowed by talents beyond the IQ" An example, I have a relative that has at best an average IQ but is a genius with things mechanical and I have been in awe of that all my life.

BTW...in the US only 5% have an IQ above 130.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High IQ just below genius...130s.

My problem is women who have been intimidated by that. Seriously, never understood why they can't understand that a person of intellect can be wowed by talents beyond the IQ. A weak minded immature person of high intelligence might need to intimidate others with their knowledge and they should be avoided. But for me I don't put a lot of stock in something I was born with and have a high regard for others who have learned and accomplished in areas of their life that I couldn't possibly do.

Why is it that above-average people have the biggest egos. There are tons of women in this area with IQs above 130s that are "wow"-worthy but PP ignores them to be the "smart one". That is his only worth it sounds like.

I have known many a mental midget that has an ego you could land a 747 on.