So weird, all the divorces.

[Anonymous]

I just heard about another couple we know, headed for divorce. This makes five couples, all married about the same amount of time 7-12 years. All have children, and cheating was a factor in 4 of those divorces. I have been having some troubles with my spouse, and this really is opening my eyes. It is amazing how quickly things can progress downward. We had dinner with one couple a month ago and I was envious of their romantic relationship. Another couple was trying to adopt a baby from Haiti three months ago, and they seemed so united in their work. It is almost as if one of them woke up one day and decided to leave. If you are divorced, did you appear to others to have a perfect marriage, weeks before you decided or your spouse decided to end everything?

[Anonymous]

Not divorced, but I noticed some of the bloggers I follow who used to gush about their hubbies now never mention them and the ring finger is bare. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Happily married here or so I think, but we went through a rough patch a few months ago. Came out stronger, but it was a really tough time.

[Anonymous]

Dh and I are affectionate in public but in the back of my mind I always wonder if we are going to make it. If we got divorced down the road, I know our friends would be surprised. I wouldn't. But it's all speculation on my part.

[Anonymous]

Due to self centerness mostly godless couples

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I are affectionate in public but in the back of my mind I always wonder if we are going to make it. If we got divorced down the road, I know our friends would be surprised. I wouldn't. But it's all speculation on my part.

May I ask why you wouldn't be surprised if you got divorced? You don't have to say. Just curious-especially since you say your friends would be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to self centerness mostly godless couples

That's what I have to say to you godless bullshitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not divorced, but I noticed some of the bloggers I follow who used to gush about their hubbies now never mention them and the ring finger is bare. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Happily married here or so I think, but we went through a rough patch a few months ago. Came out stronger, but it was a really tough time.

Which blogs? Just curious if we read the same ones.

[Anonymous]

to 17:25 They are mostly healthy living blogs except that Dooce person. I actually feel gossipy speculating because the bloggers who I suspect are now separated really seem like sweet people-people i would like if I met IRL. If you follow these blogs, you would notice. Husband hasn't been mentioned in a looooong time, some couple photos have been taken down or husband's photo has been blurred out or cut out, photos without ring, but no mention which i understand.

[Anonymous]

Statistics say inevitably, at least one if not more of our acquaintance couples will bite the dust but I admit, I sometimes think about which ones I think it might be and I genuinely think I'd be shocked by any of them.

Maybe that means *I'm* in the doomed couple. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I are affectionate in public but in the back of my mind I always wonder if we are going to make it. If we got divorced down the road, I know our friends would be surprised. I wouldn't. But it's all speculation on my part.

May I ask why you wouldn't be surprised if you got divorced? You don't have to say. Just curious-especially since you say your friends would be surprised.

I know that he had an affair behind his girlfriend's back before I met him. (I was not the affair.) And his dad had had an affair. So there's a pattern there. I guess I've always wondered if he would fall for someone else eventually. I know he loves me but there are aspects of our marriage he is not happy about. Could that lead to something? I know that I will always love him but I also don't think I would put up with an affair and I would be out of there in five minutes.

[Anonymous]

I always feel like it would be impossible to fall out of love with your spouse once you've had children together -- having children just feels like such a bonding experience -- i can't imagine ever wanting to leave my spouse now that we have two kids. But you never know. It's scary to think how things can change quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always feel like it would be impossible to fall out of love with your spouse once you've had children together -- having children just feels like such a bonding experience -- i can't imagine ever wanting to leave my spouse now that we have two kids. But you never know. It's scary to think how things can change quickly.

I think for divorced couples with children, they always love their ex-spouse as the parent of their child. But that is not the kind of love that can sustain you through fundamental incompatibility and/or the tough things that life throws at all of us, so I can see how it happens. Be lucky you feel that way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always feel like it would be impossible to fall out of love with your spouse once you've had children together -- having children just feels like such a bonding experience -- i can't imagine ever wanting to leave my spouse now that we have two kids. But you never know. It's scary to think how things can change quickly.

really?

Kids cause divorces!

not saying I hate my children . . . But the stress they add, the worry, the consuming of time - All that leaves little time for couple togetherness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always feel like it would be impossible to fall out of love with your spouse once you've had children together -- having children just feels like such a bonding experience -- i can't imagine ever wanting to leave my spouse now that we have two kids. But you never know. It's scary to think how things can change quickly.

really?

Kids cause divorces!

not saying I hate my children . . . But the stress they add, the worry, the consuming of time - All that leaves little time for couple togetherness.

No kidding...Life was simple when we had little kids. We stayed home, cooked dinner together, played with the baby who wasn't talking back or slamming her bedroom door. We weren't splitting up the endless afterschool activities, fighting over who practices piano with our son or eating drive thru dinners in our respective cars as we shuttle different kids to different sports practices. Somehow all of that leaves little time for the 'bonding experience.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always feel like it would be impossible to fall out of love with your spouse once you've had children together -- having children just feels like such a bonding experience -- i can't imagine ever wanting to leave my spouse now that we have two kids. But you never know. It's scary to think how things can change quickly.

really?

Kids cause divorces!

not saying I hate my children . . . But the stress they add, the worry, the consuming of time - All that leaves little time for couple togetherness.

No kidding...Life was simple when we had little kids. We stayed home, cooked dinner together, played with the baby who wasn't talking back or slamming her bedroom door. We weren't splitting up the endless afterschool activities, fighting over who practices piano with our son or eating drive thru dinners in our respective cars as we shuttle different kids to different sports practices. Somehow all of that leaves little time for the 'bonding experience.'

I'm the first PP quoted. Guess I haven't gotten there yet. My kids are still both under 3. There's definitely less 'couple time' now, but I thought it would get better once they got older.