Obviously this predator was abusing his position, but I'd like to unpack the above a little bit more. How was he only inviting female students? I'm coming to this as an adult whose life and mental health were absolutely saved by kind teachers who let me hang out in their classrooms before school, and sometimes during lunches. As a queer weirdo in a rural nightmare of a town, I didn't have a lot of friends my own age and was subjected to vicious bullying in the halls, at free periods, etc. Just having a teacher open up a classroom to me where I could do my work, and maybe chat a little if they weren't busy, was life-changing. Have we lost the ability to extend that to kids, under the circumstances? |
How about the school should not be a hostile environment that forces a child to hide in a classroom during lunch? If your school would have dealt with the bullying than you wouldn’t have been isolated. As a best practice, the teacher should not have been alone with you. Another teacher or other students in the room would protect everyone. At a minimum, the door remains open so people can walk-in at anytime. |
Yes. |
What you describe shows that your own teachers respected the boundaries and signaled to you that there were boundaries. As you recall it, they would chat “a little if they weren’t busy” which indicates that they somehow conveyed to you, whether via words, actions, or body language, that their first duty was their teaching responsibilities/paperwork, etc. And that spending time in their classroom was an exceptional allowance that wasn’t always the norm. They weren’t making you feel that the classroom was an extension of socializing space. Nor that you were their social equal, close confidant, or pal. In contrast, the Whitman teacher apparently treated his role that way. Could teachers be prevented from the latter approach, while still allowing for situations like you had? I think so—as the PP above said, things like having a second teacher present would be one potential way to address it. |
I’m sorry for what you and your child experienced for trying to do the right thing. I assume you are the same PP that posted up thread about their child’s similar situation? Would you be willing to share the kind of content in the texts he received ? I assume it was a progression from very neutral info, like “here is the tournament schedule” to “great job yesterday” to “you’re really talented” to “that workout regimen is making your legs look so toned, that’s great” to “your body is so hot” and so on. But that is just my imagination based on tv, news, etc of this kind of thing. Second Q: Did you attempt to discuss with other team parents? I suspect you’d explain that this is how you realized they were groomed, and that no one was willing to believe your perspective, and that perhaps this was when the athletic department began to bad-mouth you. If you were to go back in time and had this Whitman case as an example to share, and with the perspective you’ve continued to gain personally, do you think you would have done it any differently in ways that might have gotten more of a response to remove the coach? I ask not to imply that you didn’t do all you could at the time; I commend your bravery for standing up to the system and trying to prevent more harm. I’m just wondering because I think grooming is so insidious that only a collective body of evidence (multiple victims or targets) can show that “grey area” infractions can add up to convince people of the real danger. And also because I think predators benefit when targets/victims don’t compare notes, so to speak—and this is easier to achieve in a school setting where seniors are gone the next year and they (and their parents) are unlikely to be comparing notes with students/parents that have graduated 1, 2, or 5 years earlier…How do you think current students’ parents could be warned to be on their guard about your child’s former coach? If further evidence is presented against this coach, then it would be very damning to MCPS to have evidence that they dismissed your complaint from years earlier. I hope that this guy isn’t doing more harm and he could be caught before he has actual victims but that’s probably a vain hope, since he likely has had victims already. And I hope that MCPS changes its ways—perhaps more parental pressure. I’d certainly sign some parental petition that advocated for better policies, enforcement, or whatever it would take. |
This is similar to my older kid's experience at an MCPS HS recently. A kid with HFA and not many friends found kind teachers that offered welcoming spaces. On its own, it's not creepy. Staff are required to remain clearly visible from the hall if they have only one student in their room. |
|
What about MCPS having its own messenger system for coaches to communicate. Maybe the app would not allow for private messaging so the coach would have to use @student/s but everyone can read the messages like MS Teams. Open messaging. Maybe an AI program that regularly monitors language. And also parents should be able to view the messages if they want to.
Communication between teacher and students would only be allowed through MCPS email and messenger. Enforce it and monitor it regularly. Also, regularly monitor classrooms. Have a hotline managed by an external company where reports can be made anonymously but where reports are taken seriously. Having a second teacher in the class may not work because they can be friends. We need external evaluators, an audit of teachers’ behaviours with students. We need metrics, how often do teachers violate the code, etc. An external evaluator should see the red flags, observe how teachers interact with students when they have free periods, etc. At least, we need an audit. Also, at least an annual survey for students. How frequently did a teacher XYZ, did you witness XYX, etc. We need metrics to develop action plans and show that consistently MCPS is not enforcing the code, etc. |
We have to draw the line somewhere. If you want to raise the age of consent, then should we raise the age to vote also? How about the age to hold a full-time job or enlist in the military? Or to be charged as an adult for a crime? All those require the ability to make important decisions. If 16 year olds can be charged as an adult for homicide, can't they also decide about having sex? |
These are all great ideas.. therefore MCPS will never implement them. The BOE has shown time and again that they are not innovative or looking for creative solutions. Take the Damascus rape case.. Earlier this month, the MCPS lawyer argued it was not rape because sodomizing someone with a broomstick is not sexual. I'm not making this up: https://bethesdamagazine.com/bethesda-beat/news/attorney-argues-that-broomstick-attack-didnt-constitute-sexual-assault/ |
The age of consent can still be 16 and no more than a 4 year difference. Then once 18 I prefer the 1/2 the age +7 rule. |
Could MCPS be pressured to hire an Inspector General type of position, specifically for cases of sexual abuse? I figure that in the DMV area, the idea of inspectors general is pretty well-established and they could model the role on the ones in the federal government (e.g. what types of reports are available to the public w/what frequency, etc.). Don't IGs also have a duty to respond to whistleblowers? |
MD currently has teh 4-year rule but only for those under 16. As for 18+, I think that would be a tough argument to make that a person is considered an adult for decision-making otherwise (entering a contract, voting, joining the military) but not for deciding what happens to their own body. In this particular case, since it was a teacher/coach, the rules are stricter whcih is a good thing. |
Another great idea. How many organizations with a $2.8bln annual budget don't have an indepedent auditor? MCPS is one of the only. FCPS has one. But.. the BOE has resisted this call for years, saying they can hand it to the county-wide IG when necessary. |
| But isn’t MCPS funded with our taxes? Can we not lobby? Can we not vote out representatives? Can the state congress not mandate the Dept. of the education to do more and assign a budget? Can we not protest? |
Any imbalance of power should be illegal. Professor/coach/boss/age |