Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is all some bullshit.
The OP is merely seeing whatever the hell he/she wants to see. Got nuthing to do with race...got to do with perception.

Whenever we perceive something, it is always filtered through our emotions...our desire, jealousy, pride, ignorance, and aggression.
When we look at a person, we may see him or her through the filter of our passion, and will therefore see him or her as very desirable.
We may look at another person through the lens of aggression, which will cause us to see him or her as very ugly and hideous.
When perceiving others through our own insecurity, we make judgements, refer, and compare, and end up trying to defend or boost our pride, which all stems from ignorance. The list goes on and on.

OP wants to see examples of self-segregation and therefore does. If the OP wanted to see examples of aliens running around I'm sure he/she could find examples of that too.
Bullshit - all of it.

lol Couldn't agree more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say this. I am 40. Have a white husband. I am black. I can almost guarantee I will get a 'hair' question any time I interact with a new group of (mostly) white people, within meeting 0-4. How can that be? I can't be the first black woman they've met. But somehow I'm the spokesperson. Or is it taught somewhere that it's an icebreaker? It's predictable and sad. But like a good ambassador - I always answer.

That is funny because I am white and have long blonde hair and I always get questions about my hair the first time I meet someone. Its always somewhere in the begnning of a female centric conversation in my experience. Same with shoes and bags, although the later really doesnt interest me.


I read these types of titled threads for one reason, I learn something very time about someone with a different experience or view than my own. I have friends from all walks of life, all colors, all creeds. I go to their houses, out to dinner with them, have them to my house, our kids mingle, I hug them, they are my people. I have made an effort to have this kind of circle of people in my life. The best way to do that is to not assume anything about anyone and to presume that what soemone else says or does has more to do with themselves than with anything about me.

I personify a certain stereotype becuase of the way I look. Of course, its my appearance as well as the way I dress, my demeanor and the way I speak. I know this because it has been made crystal clear to me by others many times in my life. While some might think that this would be a good thing in my case, I can assure you that it has NOT always served me well nor worked in my favor. I also know that there is a great deal more to me than the way I look to a stranger, or even an acquaintance. Therefore, I try to look beyond the immediate stereotype that Hollywood and the media and popular culture throw at us daily. In my expereince, very few people truly fit any stereotype. In my experince, most people have a hard time moving outside of their comfort zone. We have to force oursleves to move past both of these obstacles if we ever wanrt this world to be a more acceoting and kind place. I do want that and I try to do whatever little thing I can to push down those barriers. It is not out of any sense of guilt but out of a belief that most people are good and interesting and worth my time.

[Anonymous]

" I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sigh of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me. "

This is why lots of AA people will always be poor - willing to support scads of extended family financially. I just don't get that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

See this is why we don't like you! Nothing I said indicated a "chip" on my shoulder. I said nothing more than the truth. You don't understand the desire to be with people like yourself, because you are always with people like yourself. We are drawn to each other to meet a need that you don't even realize you have. I promise you that if you found yourself a minority in another country, you might make friends with natives of that country, but you would relish an opportunity to be with someone like you, who speaks your language, eats your food, and understands your jokes. Black people have our own "culture" in the same way Asians have a culture, Latinos have a culture, etc.

Are you thinking that all WASPS are the same?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why do they need a black nurses union? Why not just a nurses union?

Because the nurses union was often times preoccupied with figuring out how to marry a doctor, as white women are the group most likely to marry a white man to change their station in life. Other women of color don't have that luxury. That's the fundamental difference.

This is very interesting. Makes sense too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - this is something I've seen as a pattern since college. Not only towards me, but to anyone who is not black in general. Otherwise I wouldn't comment on it.

It's not because you are white. It's because you are annoying and whiny.

#weareNOTamonolith

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think white folks understand just how taxing being a minority is in this country. White people always eyeing you funny, smiling at you all scared-like, clutching their purses unconsciously and damn near snatching their kids away from you ALL DAY EVERY DAY. The shit never stops whether I'm on the Metro or on the elevator to my office or in line to get my muthaf#kin morning coffee just like everybody else white folks always flinching and grinning simultaneously...it's f#king unnerving. I don't wanna be around that shit any longer than I have to.

WOW, this shyt is soooo true!!!!

Have you ever considered that its not what you think it is?

For example, the other day I was carrying a few bags on one hand and my purse in the other. A black guy turned the corner and headed in my direction. I switched the purse to the other arm so it wouldn't hit him when we passed each other. I realized after he passed that he might have thought that I switched it because he was black. I felt bad about it because that wasn't my intention at all -- in fact my intention was good.

That unspoken misunderstanding (if there even was one), isn't going to get rectified if everyone plays in their own corners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

Move? You are an asshole. We are African AMERICAN. Are you suggesting that we can just move to, say, Kenya and just "fit in"?

Why don't you move and live somewhere that you are not a majority for a year, and get some damn perspective. And then try to imagine feeling like an other in your OWN DAMN COUNTRY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess the OP has never been in a situation where she's a minority. People, in general, are drawn to what they know and are familiar with. Ever gone to a conference and the only person you know is someone you don't really like? Chances are, you'll still sit by that person anyway until you feel more comfortable. Room with 100 women and 10 men- the guys are going to congregate. Room with 100 black men and 10 white women- you can bet the wagons would be circled. I find it hard to believe the OP doesn't even see how blatantly racist the initial question was even worded. How about "why do people tend to self-segregate?" This is not specific to one race. But the fact that OP only notices groups of Black People speaks volumes to me.

The part I have bolded above it so very true. Like seeks like for comfort in a new situation every time. All animals do it, all humans do it. We all have to work to push ourselves to move past the discomfort of feeling out of place or "other". The best ay to learn this is to spend time somewhere where you are a minority. It changes your perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AA here.

I do not blindly accept friendship from anyone. But a friendship is easier to forge from shared experiences. I currently live in what some people call a diverse “newly re-emergent” neighborhood in DC that has historically been where professional and working class AA’s live. I have made the following two points in various DCUM discussions about race over the years. Just for context, I have lived, gone to school in and worked in diverse environments my entire life. These points reflect my own experiences and are not indicative of my race as a whole.

First, a lot of Whites are under the impression that AA’s feel/should feel differently about them. Honestly, we have the SAME suspicions about you as you do about us. When our new White neighbors moved in, I did not automatically assume that they were making the place better. I sized them up to see what kind of neighbors they were – did they share my same values? You know? Like what White people do when an AA family moves onto their block. When my AA son brought home a White girlfriend, I wondered what type of person she was and what type of family she came from. Like her parents did with my son. Furthermore, we use the same criteria to determine whether you are the type of person we would want to be friends with. Do we share common interests? Common experiences or origins? You know – what every other race does! And if I have to work too hard to force a friendship, it is not worth it. Folks do not have to want to be your friend or to interact with you socially. Seems that OP wants to hold AA’s to a higher standard on this front.

My second point is usually met with a lot backlash. The only people is this country who can afford to be “color-blind” are White people – even to the point that they are naïve about some pretty basic things. Minorities often get accused of “making everything about race.” In fact, I think the opposite is equally (if not more) as true. White people tend to be “race-neutral” about things that clearly have a racial context. Not to pick on a PP, but the reaction to the quote form the JHU prof bears this out. His quote was, I think, a very insightful statement from an AA that directly addressed the question asked by the OP. Most AA’s can relate and a few agreed. Then you had a poster or two who, instead of trying to understand the prof’s perspective, immediately went right to the “it is not racial” to downplay the racial aspect of it. Honestly, it is insulting. Look at this way, if a White woman was giving her perspective on gender bias on the job. And a White man responded by saying “you women are overreacting – it is not because you are women.” She would be insulted.

PERFECT analogy, PP!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

Move? You are an asshole. We are African AMERICAN. Are you suggesting that we can just move to, say, Kenya and just "fit in"?

Why don't you move and live somewhere that you are not a majority for a year, and get some damn perspective. And then try to imagine feeling like an other in your OWN DAMN COUNTRY.

Hello SMARTY PANTS,

Before you wrote that post, did you ever consider possibility that the PP you're responding to (me)...

1) Is, in fact, a minority in this country. And his skin is certainly not white
2) Further, wasn't even born here, but came as an adult, with no relatives or friends here to make the transition easier
3) Further, his native tongue is not English, so even basic communications have long been a personal struggle

In today's world many Asians, Europeans, Americans, Africans...decide to go live in a different country for a variety of political and economic reasons. So, let me repeat my question. "Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?"

There are many places in the world where English-speaking people with an American passport can easily move to looking for a better life. You are among the most privileged people in this planet. If you decide to stay IN YOUR OWN DAMN COUNTRY, PLEASE DO SO, BUT PLEASE STOP YOUR DAMN WHINING and simply focus on doing things to improve your lot. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of nice white people that I am friendly with. We socialize but I cannot say that I can connect emotionally with them. I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sigh of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me.

I am Asian. I tend to not count on them or depend on them, even if I make myself accessible to them for the same. Many of them count me as their close friend, based on the fact that I will come through for them again and again. But this is because of my cultural training. I want to oblige but not be under anyone's obligation. I am so sure that in times of need they will not come through for me and so I am not emotionally invested in them.

This is what I have found. I am a black woman married to a white man, but he is an ethnic minority among whites. The white men I dated were to me, just down right shallow. They did not seem to have the passionate love of family that other minorities did. Only in some white minorities did I see that passion. I sometimes think it is an evolutionary necessity that separates them. It might have something to do with their relative "success". The ability to detach might have been the only way to survive in that world.
Wow, when I think back on a couple of my former white (really white) boyfriends, zero, zippo in the area of deep everlasting love for family, culture and so on. Yes, flame me and the pp, but something is off kilter in that Northern European culture.

White people don't allow family to treat them like shit and take advantage of them and then brush it off by saying "oh, but we're family." So you're right, in general, we don't have a blind allegiance to our blood relatives.

Wow, do you know any co-dependent relatives of addicts? Jeez, there are lots of white people who enable their addicted relatives to sponge off of them. What planet do you live on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people don't like white people.

Black people don't TRUST white people.

What about the black people who are married to white people?

There two types... 1) Black folks who just happened to fall in love with someone of a different race and still remain culturally aware and don't shy away from discussing racial issues if the subject comes up, and 2) Self-hating Black folks who stereotype their own race to justify their choice of partner; the ones who are uncomfortable talking about race and believe that "one race, the human race" garbage.

As a Black person married to another Black person, the #1's are cool. The #2's [/b]need to be lynched. Yeah! I said it. Lynched!!!!![b]

This is disturbing. However, thanks for confirming what I have always thought about black people in DC, extremely racists and close-minded. That's why I warn friends that are in interracial relationships to stay clear of predominately black neighborhoods and social settings in DC. I find it interesting that you complain about not trusting white people, but feel no shame about wishing death (lynching) upon other black people. So, you're okay with someone getting lynch who doesn't ascribe to your ideology? Who made you the authority on how other black people live their lives or think? I used think that some interracial couples were exaggerating about their encounters with black people here in DC. Now after reading the many posts on this thread including your lynching post, I could understand their negative experiences much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are black politicians so corrupt?

yes, I know there are a lot of crooked politicians of all stripes, but it seems that almost all of the black politicians get taken down eventually. why is that? why does it attract the bad apples?

And corrupt white politicians don't exist. I remembered one not so long ago that lead this country into war.

Pres Bush certainly was not corrupt

Just stupid.

So how did he get into Yale if not on his GPA and his SAT scores? Wonder if his stats were comparable to the black kid from DC who got into 5 Ivies and everyone JUST DIED at that injustice!!!!!

Actually while he was not a bad student, he was not outstanding by any means. He got a 1206 on his SATs, below the average at the time for Yale students. But his dad and his grandfather, both well-known and respected US Senators, went there. The Bush family was wealthy and well-connected. And it doesn't matter whether he went to Yale or not. There are plenty of smart people out there whose hubris blinds them to the mistakes they make.

Anyway, how stupid is it to invade a country that doesn't have WMDs and then believe you can set up a democracy by sending a bunch of inexperienced Republican interns over to run the country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

See this is why we don't like you! Nothing I said indicated a "chip" on my shoulder. I said nothing more than the truth. You don't understand the desire to be with people like yourself, because you are always with people like yourself. We are drawn to each other to meet a need that you don't even realize you have. I promise you that if you found yourself a minority in another country, you might make friends with natives of that country, but you would relish an opportunity to be with someone like you, who speaks your language, eats your food, and understands your jokes. Black people have our own "culture" in the same way Asians have a culture, Latinos have a culture, etc.

Are you thinking that all WASPS are the same?

Another PP here. Interesting that typically in these threads that someone will come up with the "What about us White people?" You know that the PP you quoted was answering a specific question asked by the OP that targeted AA's. Perhaps if the OP had asked 'Why do people of similar cultures and backgrounds self segregate?" - then this whole thread would have evolved differently. The OP's question put AA on the defensive and that is what she intended. But no, all WASPS are not the same just as all AA's are not the same.