Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people don't like white people.

Black people don't TRUST white people.

What about the black people who are married to white people?

I'm not the poster that you questioned. However, from my experience we're considered race traitor Oreos and "some" black people don't trust us. Actually, we're often times hated more than white people. I've lost many friendships over the years with black people. Unfortunately, once they found out that my husband is white their attitude and demeanor towards me change. It's like, "Oh, so you're one of those type of blacks." Isn't it ironic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not the poster that you questioned. However, from my experience we're considered race traitor Oreos and "some" black people don't trust us. Actually, we're often times hated more than white people. I've lost many friendships over the years with black people. Unfortunately, once they found out that my husband is white their attitude and demeanor towards me change. It's like, "Oh, so you're one of those type of blacks." Isn't it ironic?

I'm sorry. It's hard to lose friendships, and for such a hurtful reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people don't like white people.

Black people don't TRUST white people.

What about the black people who are married to white people?

I'm not the poster that you questioned. However, from my experience we're considered race traitor Oreos and "some" black people don't trust us. Actually, we're often times hated more than white people. I've lost many friendships over the years with black people. Unfortunately, once they found out that my husband is white their attitude and demeanor towards me change. It's like, "Oh, so you're one of those type of blacks." Isn't it ironic?

That's just so.....stupid. <shakes head in disgust>

I'm white, but not American. So some of this really puzzles me. I did grow up around blacks, but they obviously weren't Americans either. Some of these issues (for lack of a better word) seem to be unique. Every country has their own, I suspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AA here.

I do not blindly accept friendship from anyone. But a friendship is easier to forge from shared experiences. I currently live in what some people call a diverse “newly re-emergent” neighborhood in DC that has historically been where professional and working class AA’s live. I have made the following two points in various DCUM discussions about race over the years. Just for context, I have lived, gone to school in and worked in diverse environments my entire life. These points reflect my own experiences and are not indicative of my race as a whole.

First, a lot of Whites are under the impression that AA’s feel/should feel differently about them. Honestly, we have the SAME suspicions about you as you do about us. When our new White neighbors moved in, I did not automatically assume that they were making the place better. I sized them up to see what kind of neighbors they were – did they share my same values? You know? Like what White people do when an AA family moves onto their block. When my AA son brought home a White girlfriend, I wondered what type of person she was and what type of family she came from. Like her parents did with my son. Furthermore, we use the same criteria to determine whether you are the type of person we would want to be friends with. Do we share common interests? Common experiences or origins? You know – what every other race does! And if I have to work too hard to force a friendship, it is not worth it. Folks do not have to want to be your friend or to interact with you socially. Seems that OP wants to hold AA’s to a higher standard on this front.

My second point is usually met with a lot backlash. The only people is this country who can afford to be “color-blind” are White people – even to the point that they are naïve about some pretty basic things. Minorities often get accused of “making everything about race.” In fact, I think the opposite is equally (if not more) as true. White people tend to be “race-neutral” about things that clearly have a racial context. Not to pick on a PP, but the reaction to the quote form the JHU prof bears this out. His quote was, I think, a very insightful statement from an AA that directly addressed the question asked by the OP. Most AA’s can relate and a few agreed. Then you had a poster or two who, instead of trying to understand the prof’s perspective, immediately went right to the “it is not racial” to downplay the racial aspect of it. Honestly, it is insulting. Look at this way, if a White woman was giving her perspective on gender bias on the job. And a White man responded by saying “you women are overreacting – it is not because you are women.” She would be insulted.

+1

Well said!

Another plus 1!

[Anonymous]

I wish you could spend some time with blind people. You'd learn a whole lot more about race.

Skin color? Hair? You think these make up the measure of a person?

You people sound so stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Lots of impressive stereotypes. I've never actually read a thread that has made me want to be less nice to people from other races and cultures, but now I have. What's the point of treating people like fellow humans if I am going to be thought of as biding my time to sue you for something, just itching to ask you about your hair, or doing it to assuage my guilt over slavery.

Sounds like you are looking for any excuse to act in a racist manner. You may never meet a single poster yet you would treat people of color with less respect because of the words of maybe 20 people....seriously? That you could believe that comment made any sense shows a whole lot of white privilege black people steer clear from in their private time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be racist you must have power to oppress another group of people.

Thank you! I swear people will never get that there is a difference between racism and prejudice. I love it when white people call Black people racist. Ha!!! Impossible!!!

DP here. Yes, I know that some sociologists use this definition. But I am a sociologist and I think it's not useful. It is really a waste of time to argue about whether black people can be racist. It's more useful to talk about whether racism from a group that is in the minority matters.

And for the record, I have little sympathy for whites who complain about blacks being racist towards them. In our society, it's not a level playing field by any means. And some poor mentally ill black person calling me a "white bitch" on the street (as has happened once in my life) strikes me as not equivalent at all to what happens when store clerks follow black customers around a store just because they are black or resumes being rejected because the job candidate has a "black" name. But are there black people who are racist? Sure!

And for people who want to pull out that definition of racism where only people with power can be racist -- well, I do have colleagues who would give you an A for that but not all scholars agree on this. And to just throw a definition at people doesn't help them to understand the complex dynamics of racial stratification in the United States.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One fundamental difference is how we raise our children. I am a Black mother who doesn't spank but I do believe in firm discipline, boundaries, rules and consequences. For the life of me I cannot understand how disrespectful 98% of the white children I know are to there parents. I cannot stand to be in the presence of adults who allow children to shout at them, don't listen and are just blatantly rude to their parents. It eats at me in a way that I can't even describe. I just don't want my children to think that behavior is ok.

One kid I know... his mother will tell him 10 times to stop doing something or call him 10 times and HE JUST IGNORES HER. After the 1st or 2nd time, I'm in your face like "oh no... we don't ignore our parents in this house." Another kids REFUSES TO WEAR HER COAT IN THE DEAD OF WINTER. Parents just let her. She came home with me one day and said as sweetly as possible... "Larla! If you come home with us you have to wear your coat." She wore the coat. White parents are entirely too permissive for my tastes. I may be stereotyping as I know some white parents who don't take crap from their kids but for the most part, Black folks absolutely hate letting their kids mingle with disrespectful, sassy brats.

FTR... I don't at ALL judge mothers who spank. I was spanked (with switches, boards, combs and I turned out just fine). Also... there are plenty of permissive Black parents as well and guess what. We judge them also.

As a white person, I agree -- this parental permissiveness is a white thing. Not all whites do it but far too many and it drives me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are black politicians so corrupt?

yes, I know there are a lot of crooked politicians of all stripes, but it seems that almost all of the black politicians get taken down eventually. why is that? why does it attract the bad apples?

And corrupt white politicians don't exist. I remembered one not so long ago that lead this country into war.

Pres Bush certainly was not corrupt

Just stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of nice white people that I am friendly with. We socialize but I cannot say that I can connect emotionally with them. I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sigh of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me.

I am Asian. I tend to not count on them or depend on them, even if I make myself accessible to them for the same. Many of them count me as their close friend, based on the fact that I will come through for them again and again. But this is because of my cultural training. I want to oblige but not be under anyone's obligation. I am so sure that in times of need they will not come through for me and so I am not emotionally invested in them.

This is what I have found. I am a black woman married to a white man, but he is an ethnic minority among whites. The white men I dated were to me, just down right shallow. They did not seem to have the passionate love of family that other minorities did. Only in some white minorities did I see that passion. I sometimes think it is an evolutionary necessity that separates them. It might have something to do with their relative "success". The ability to detach might have been the only way to survive in that world.
Wow, when I think back on a couple of my former white (really white) boyfriends, zero, zippo in the area of deep everlasting love for family, culture and so on. Yes, flame me and the pp, but something is off kilter in that Northern European culture.

White people don't allow family to treat them like shit and take advantage of them and then brush it off by saying "oh, but we're family." So you're right, in general, we don't have a blind allegiance to our blood relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why are black politicians so corrupt?

yes, I know there are a lot of crooked politicians of all stripes, but it seems that almost all of the black politicians get taken down eventually. why is that? why does it attract the bad apples?

And corrupt white politicians don't exist. I remembered one not so long ago that lead this country into war.

Pres Bush certainly was not corrupt

Just stupid.

So how did he get into Yale if not on his GPA and his SAT scores? Wonder if his stats were comparable to the black kid from DC who got into 5 Ivies and everyone JUST DIED at that injustice!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people don't like white people.

Black people don't TRUST white people.

What about the black people who are married to white people?

There two types... 1) Black folks who just happened to fall in love with someone of a different race and still remain culturally aware and don't shy away from discussing racial issues if the subject comes up, and 2) Self-hating Black folks who stereotype their own race to justify their choice of partner; the ones who are uncomfortable talking about race and believe that "one race, the human race" garbage.

As a Black person married to another Black person, the #1's are cool. The #2's need to be lynched. Yeah! I said it. Lynched!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One fundamental difference is how we raise our children. I am a Black mother who doesn't spank but I do believe in firm discipline, boundaries, rules and consequences. For the life of me I cannot understand how disrespectful 98% of the white children I know are to there parents. I cannot stand to be in the presence of adults who allow children to shout at them, don't listen and are just blatantly rude to their parents. It eats at me in a way that I can't even describe. I just don't want my children to think that behavior is ok.

One kid I know... his mother will tell him 10 times to stop doing something or call him 10 times and HE JUST IGNORES HER. After the 1st or 2nd time, I'm in your face like "oh no... we don't ignore our parents in this house." Another kids REFUSES TO WEAR HER COAT IN THE DEAD OF WINTER. Parents just let her. She came home with me one day and said as sweetly as possible... "Larla! If you come home with us you have to wear your coat." She wore the coat. White parents are entirely too permissive for my tastes. I may be stereotyping as I know some white parents who don't take crap from their kids but for the most part, Black folks absolutely hate letting their kids mingle with disrespectful, sassy brats.

FTR... I don't at ALL judge mothers who spank. I was spanked (with switches, boards, combs and I turned out just fine). Also... there are plenty of permissive Black parents as well and guess what. We judge them also.

As a white person, I agree -- this parental permissiveness is a white thing. Not all whites do it but far too many and it drives me crazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clmnorYspPM

In a Dr. Phil episode a white pre-teen boy repeatedly slapped his mom's face. The commentator (trash talking a bit) is spot on on how an Asian, Hispanic and Black mom would have reacted.

[Anonymous]

This is all some bullshit.
The OP is merely seeing whatever the hell he/she wants to see. Got nuthing to do with race...got to do with perception.

Whenever we perceive something, it is always filtered through our emotions...our desire, jealousy, pride, ignorance, and aggression.
When we look at a person, we may see him or her through the filter of our passion, and will therefore see him or her as very desirable.
We may look at another person through the lens of aggression, which will cause us to see him or her as very ugly and hideous.
When perceiving others through our own insecurity, we make judgements, refer, and compare, and end up trying to defend or boost our pride, which all stems from ignorance. The list goes on and on.

OP wants to see examples of self-segregation and therefore does. If the OP wanted to see examples of aliens running around I'm sure he/she could find examples of that too.
Bullshit - all of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people don't like white people.

Black people don't TRUST white people.

What about the black people who are married to white people?

I'm not the poster that you questioned. However, from my experience we're considered race traitor Oreos and "some" black people don't trust us. Actually, we're often times hated more than white people. I've lost many friendships over the years with black people. Unfortunately, once they found out that my husband is white their attitude and demeanor towards me change. It's like, "Oh, so you're one of those type of blacks." Isn't it ironic?

Who the heck do you hang around?? I've been with my white husband over ten years and have some surprisingly white, red haired kids and can't imagine anyone saying anything even CLOSE to that to me. No one has ever uttered anything negative towards us. Interesting that your experience has been so different. I would say you're much better off without those friendships. No way I would want people that feel that way around my husband and kids.