BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I mean, they'll all have their own places in which to shower before coming to your house so it's really just a place to hang out, be together, and get dressed. Assuming your DH is a groomsman, let them. Send your kids off with your inlaws if need be.

[Anonymous]

It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

Agree it sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen, but the groom doesn't seem to care or cares more about saving money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

Presumably the other groomsmen already have rooms at the hotel, so they could all cram into one if they wanted, but they want a bit more space than crowding around a double bed in a hotel room with one chair. That's reasonable....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

Presumably the other groomsmen already have rooms at the hotel, so they could all cram into one if they wanted, but they want a bit more space than crowding around a double bed in a hotel room with one chair. That's reasonable....

So they are crowding around a bathroom shared by kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bridesmaids and I all hung out in my regular hotel room before the wedding. Why can't the guys just do that in the groom's room?

Have these guys thought through hanging out in your house with your kids before hand?

Of course not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bridesmaids and I all hung out in my regular hotel room before the wedding. Why can't the guys just do that in the groom's room?

Because BIL is spending the night with his bride in the suite and she's kicking him out so she can get ready there. I say if they're so progressive they can all get ready together.

Don't any of the groomsmen have a hotel room? If not, they must be local, right?

And have 10+ other houses or apartments or condo community rooms to pick from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You - not DH - should tell your BIL you won’t host him and his friends for a few hours on his wedding day.

I’m curious if OP or her spouse ever had 6 men come hang out in their little home for a few hours with the three children and themselves, whilst getting ready for a formal event. I’ve only seen this work at very large homes of the parents or at the venue or a hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I would say yes. But you can certainly say no.

Actually I might say yes or I might buy them another hotel room.

Just BIL, yes.

But this is the best solution. GIFT your BIL another room for this purpose.

I've heard of weaponized incompetence. I guess this is weaponized cheapness

Works like a charm.

Basically you don’t say anything. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You - not DH - should tell your BIL you won’t host him and his friends for a few hours on his wedding day.

I’m curious if OP or her spouse ever had 6 men come hang out in their little home for a few hours with the three children and themselves, whilst getting ready for a formal event. I’ve only seen this work at very large homes of the parents or at the venue or a hotel room.

+1

I don't think it's going to work well, but I also think op and her husband should allow it to avoid larger family drama.

Hopefully the groom is mature enough to recognize after the fact that it was a bad (cheap) idea and show genuine appreciation to it and her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

Presumably the other groomsmen already have rooms at the hotel, so they could all cram into one if they wanted, but they want a bit more space than crowding around a double bed in a hotel room with one chair. That's reasonable....

So they are crowding around a bathroom shared by kids.

So get the kids ready before they come? It's completely obvious how to make this work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

Presumably the other groomsmen already have rooms at the hotel, so they could all cram into one if they wanted, but they want a bit more space than crowding around a double bed in a hotel room with one chair. That's reasonable....

So they are crowding around a bathroom shared by kids.

So get the kids ready before they come? It's completely obvious how to make this work.

Who would get kids dressed first? They don’t want to sit around for hours in dresses and suits. This is crazy and further confirms how inconvenient the groom’s plan is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

Presumably the other groomsmen already have rooms at the hotel, so they could all cram into one if they wanted, but they want a bit more space than crowding around a double bed in a hotel room with one chair. That's reasonable....

So get the kids ready before they come? It's completely obvious how to make this work.

Do you have kids? No way you can get preschoolers and elementary age kids ready and keep them neat while you wait for 6 groomsmen to get ready.
So they are crowding around a bathroom shared by kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a wedding - paying for 1 room is really such a big deal?

It sounds really unpleasant for the groom and groomsmen honestly. Like you're in someone else's hair if they aren't really set up for it. I've been in a lot of bridal parties and would hate this.

Presumably the other groomsmen already have rooms at the hotel, so they could all cram into one if they wanted, but they want a bit more space than crowding around a double bed in a hotel room with one chair. That's reasonable....

So they are crowding around a bathroom shared by kids.

So get the kids ready before they come? It's completely obvious how to make this work.

Who would get kids dressed first? They don’t want to sit around for hours in dresses and suits. This is crazy and further confirms how inconvenient the groom’s plan is.

Exactly.

But the groom doesn't want to pay for a hotel room so everyone else must deal with the inconvenience.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell DH to book a hotel room for them. It's his brother, he can rent him a room for his wedding!