Are upper middle class family gatherings now just luxury travel pissing contests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was young and stupider, some friends and I were talking about all the places we'd been. Our friend, who was a cattle rancher, said, "Well, I've never really been anywhere, but I'd really like to see those big farms in the Midwest."

It made me realize how annoying and shallow I was being, and also made me realize that not everyone was like me.

If any topic that could possiblymake someone feel less than or annoyed is off the table, there isn't going much conversation: school choice, vacations, weddings, job advancement, housing upgrades and improvements, children's achievements, inheritances and windfalls, etc.

If you need to be told by strangers not to talk about this, then you are beyond all hope.

+1 don’t talk about money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a work colleague travel to Budapest once only to come back and spend the next 4 years we worked together pounce any any oppurtunity to correct someone 'mispronouncing' it.

Dude was special.

I know a 20-something who got married a month out of high school, has no further education, has pumped out multiple kids, and when they were really little the family was on Wic. She wanted to be a SAHM for "religious reasons." That has fallen off, lol. Although she is still unemployed. She went to London with a friend to see Ed Sheeran and for months has been insisting that trucks are "lorries" and the bathroom is "the loo." Etc. On and on. Insufferable. But that's not UMC insecurity, that's LC insecurity.

Let her live

[Anonymous]

I have a theory. I think many people, especially UMC, are socially isolated. There seem to be a lot of UMC families where both parents work and they have very few friends, if any. Any social activities seem to revolve around kids’ activities. Most of their time is spent working and managing their household.

Travel is all they have. There isn’t much else for them to share about at a dinner. During school breaks and vacation weeks they travel because there isn’t anything going on at home. They don’t have friends to spend time with so it’s off they go to a new place as a family.

[Anonymous]

People are cash rich. And those who aren’t want to pretend they are.

[Anonymous]

Could it be as simple as people like to travel and talk about their lives
We've lived outside of the US most of our kids lives and I worry it will come across as bragging when my kids and I talk about our life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our family has 3 hobbies—scuba diving, snowboarding/skiing, and unique natural or man made wonders. Most breaks we’re going to do something that ties into one of those 3 things.

For thanksgiving, we’re in Grenada diving. Airfare was on points. For the 4 of us, we got one hotel room. We all have our own gear. So 2k for diving for the week, 1k for the room, and another $1k for food.

$4k for 4 people to dive the Carribean isn’t crazy. But our trip was based on where I could get airfare. The hotel was running a stay/dive special.

When people ask how were the holidays, they know it will involve some travel. It’s what our family does.

Exhibit A

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our family has 3 hobbies—scuba diving, snowboarding/skiing, and unique natural or man made wonders. Most breaks we’re going to do something that ties into one of those 3 things.

For thanksgiving, we’re in Grenada diving. Airfare was on points. For the 4 of us, we got one hotel room. We all have our own gear. So 2k for diving for the week, 1k for the room, and another $1k for food.

$4k for 4 people to dive the Carribean isn’t crazy. But our trip was based on where I could get airfare. The hotel was running a stay/dive special.

When people ask how were the holidays, they know it will involve some travel. It’s what our family does.

Exhibit A

Yep, this is a family with likely few actual ties to their community besides jobs.

Their kids have been shuffled from one play date or activity to another.

They don’t have a social life and friend group where they live. I don’t mean fake friends you’ve made from your kids.

As a result they have to create a life elsewhere and it’s through these activities/ travel. The travel doesn’t satisfy them and they don’t know why. It’s because they are lacking true social connections that bring joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our family has 3 hobbies—scuba diving, snowboarding/skiing, and unique natural or man made wonders. Most breaks we’re going to do something that ties into one of those 3 things.

For thanksgiving, we’re in Grenada diving. Airfare was on points. For the 4 of us, we got one hotel room. We all have our own gear. So 2k for diving for the week, 1k for the room, and another $1k for food.

$4k for 4 people to dive the Carribean isn’t crazy. But our trip was based on where I could get airfare. The hotel was running a stay/dive special.

When people ask how were the holidays, they know it will involve some travel. It’s what our family does.

Exhibit A

Yep, this is a family with likely few actual ties to their community besides jobs.

Their kids have been shuffled from one play date or activity to another.

They don’t have a social life and friend group where they live. I don’t mean fake friends you’ve made from your kids.

As a result they have to create a life elsewhere and it’s through these activities/ travel. The travel doesn’t satisfy them and they don’t know why. It’s because they are lacking true social connections that bring joy.

Speaking of someone who creates life elsewhere.

Do you often make up fictional back stories for total strangers, projecting your own personal issues?

[Anonymous]

I think it feels this way with any hobby you don't associate in the same way as most of your family. My family talks about athletes all the time and it's boring because I don't know them beyond just a couple and there are so many athletes I am not willing to spend hours watching in hopes of me knowing a little about one of them to chime in.

I can see how this happens with any hobby though. Watching movies, reading, being a foodie, etc. It's hard to stay interested when it's not a main interest of yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always thought travel was a safe topic. I love to travel. I love to hear my friend’s travel stories. I don’t enjoy hearing about boring beach trips to bald island but I love hearing about Asia or Europe. I’m always looking for new places to go with my family.

Talking about cool sites you saw in Asia is fine. "Humble" bragging about your $1k+/night hotel or dropping a reference to (or worse posting a picture of) your lay flat seats is not.

Pp here. I know what you mean when people are trying to show off. We actually do stay at the 1-2k hotels but I don’t talk about the hotel. There are some people who who can appreciate a nice spa or afternoon tea though. Maybe that is what OP is referring to. 95% of the time I would not talk about this but there are those 5% where I actually really enjoy the details of a very nice hotel, especially if the hotel is the destination. We recently went to marina bay sands in Singapore. My kids loved the hotel and the adjacent attractions.

Any comment remotely like this is exactly what OP is talking about.

+1. But I do like that PP distilled how superficial global travel has become: 20+ hour flight each way to be pampered at a luxury hotel. The same experience is available at any nearby Ritz or Four Seasons, but that wouldn’t be “exotic” enough or brag worthy at the next social gathering.

Similar to “low key” braggarts who travel to third world dumps half way around the world so they can boast about hiking there. You can do all the world class hiking you want in West Virginia, but Appalachia isn’t exotic for them, of course.

West Virginia is beautiful, but if you can’t see why someone would want to also hike in the Scottish highlands or on the Croatian coast, I can’t help you.

Sounds like you either haven’t really traveled or have only done resort travel, so you think that’s the only option.

I’ve been to 30 countries, lived in Russia and rural Thailand, and I’ve stayed in everything from a hut with no beds in a tiny Thai village to a Cambodian hostel to an overwater bungalow on Bora Bora.

It’s all amazing. Sad that you can’t appreciate what travel really can be.

Oh and my Thanksgiving travel conversation was great.

My parents talked about hiking the mountains in New Zealand.

My friend’s parents talked about their biking trip down the Croatian coast.

I answered questions about what it was like to live with a woman and her daughter in St Petersburg, Russia. I told them what we used to talk about while watching Russian state TV and having tea and cookies.

People also wanted to know what it was like visiting Kyiv, Pskov, and Novgorod, navigating Russian public transportation, etc.

What if this is an actual Russian bot promoting Russian tourism now that the election is over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of a family friend of my cousins who asks where I’ve traveled everytime I see her, and then immediately asks what hotel I stayed at. It is so cringe inducing and she looks like such a shallow idiot

Some poor people are interested in travel even if they can’t afford it or don’t have the guts to go to risky destinations. She probably actually likes you and likes hearing from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a theory. I think many people, especially UMC, are socially isolated. There seem to be a lot of UMC families where both parents work and they have very few friends, if any. Any social activities seem to revolve around kids’ activities. Most of their time is spent working and managing their household.

Travel is all they have. There isn’t much else for them to share about at a dinner. During school breaks and vacation weeks they travel because there isn’t anything going on at home. They don’t have friends to spend time with so it’s off they go to a new place as a family.

I’m a SAHM. We live a very UMC lifestyle. Some people may consider us rich. We have a seven figure income and eight figure net worth. I do not lack for friends. My kids have full social lives. They do well in school, are in many activities and sports. We go to our beach house. We visit family. We hang out with our many friends and yes, we travel. I don’t buy your theory.

The dual working parents are busy juggling a lot. Their plates are full. Not sure why you are knocking their travel during breaks. Any UMC travels during school breaks. I would say you are the outlier if you go nowhere for summer, spring or winter break.

[Anonymous]

I love hearing about people’s trips. Love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a theory. I think many people, especially UMC, are socially isolated. There seem to be a lot of UMC families where both parents work and they have very few friends, if any. Any social activities seem to revolve around kids’ activities. Most of their time is spent working and managing their household.

Travel is all they have. There isn’t much else for them to share about at a dinner. During school breaks and vacation weeks they travel because there isn’t anything going on at home. They don’t have friends to spend time with so it’s off they go to a new place as a family.

I’m a SAHM. We live a very UMC lifestyle. Some people may consider us rich. We have a seven figure income and eight figure net worth. I do not lack for friends. My kids have full social lives. They do well in school, are in many activities and sports. We go to our beach house. We visit family. We hang out with our many friends and yes, we travel. I don’t buy your theory.

The dual working parents are busy juggling a lot. Their plates are full. Not sure why you are knocking their travel during breaks. Any UMC travels during school breaks. I would say you are the outlier if you go nowhere for summer, spring or winter break.

I would avoid you at school pickup like the Bubonic plague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so explain to us. In what context, if ever, are we allowed to mention travel such that it won’t be considered bragging?

If someone directly asks you, “so did you travel this summer?” you can respond with where you went. If they ask follow up questions, you may answer.

It’s that simple. If no one asks, don’t bring it up and definitely do not post on social media.

One could say this about almost any topic of conversation. So don’t talk about your kids, your job, your house, etc. Perhaps you could discuss the weather?

Yes, generally speaking you don't walk up to someone and start randomly bragging about something they didn't ask about it. That's how polite conversation works.

Who the hell does that?

I seriously think the people who claim these sort of obnoxious travel conversation happens have never been part of any of those conversations and are instead just making things up because they’re bitter they never go anywhere.

Good grief, everyone isn't jealous of your cliche-filled travel escapades. I know a few very rich who find traveling annoying and overrated, especially international travel. Their primary home is a mansion, they might have a second vacation home on a Delaware or Florida beach and that's pretty much the only place they go. They're not too poor to travel and they're not narrow-minded rubes. They're just rich and confident and don't need to try to buy a personality with airline miles and passport stamps.

We live in a 15,000sf primary residence and also have a beach house and have friends with homes we visit. We still travel often both domestically and internationally.

My husband doesn’t love to travel the way that I do. He would rather just go to our beach house or go to another relaxing place a short flight away.

Now THIS is bragging. And it’s frankly disgusting unless you have a multi-family, multi-generational living arrangement. And no, I am not envious. There are three people in my immediate family. I literally don’t know what we would do with 5000 sqf each.