Are upper middle class family gatherings now just luxury travel pissing contests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be interested, especially if people went to places I’m not likely to ever go to. If they can tell information about the food, sights, people, climate, and culture, then I’d like to hear it big they’re just talking about points and what they spent in a hotel and how they paid X for some souvenir, then I’m not interested.

It's the same status-signaling babble over and over. You fly somewhere, you eat and booze, repeat. Everyone tripping over themselves to brag about the recent and next trips, how they are so worldly they know all of these authentic hidden gems, everyone chimes in with one-upmanship feigning as sharp insights. It devolves into a cordial but nauseating and cliche-filled pissing context.

+1

I don't know what's worse, hearing the same stories about Greece and Italy, or the people who brag about going to places where tourists don't go, because somehow they're not tourists. A major yawn.

+100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just weren’t this prone to jealousy before?

Who's jealous? It's just shallow and boring conversation. Shallow and boring is fine among professional work associates but family are only together a couple of times a year and THIS is the most spirited dialogue now? It's sad.

Travel is not “shallow and boring conversation.” What do you want to discuss? Little Larlo’s soccer? Little Larlo is going into AAP?

It's not as interesting as you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else experiencing this right now? We've been to a few extended family gatherings so far this week and travel dominated the conversations. Suddenly, everyone thinks they're Anthony Bourdain and wants to brag about passport stamps. So and so to Japan, uncle so and so just went on a pheasant hunting or fly fishing trip, Utah and Colorado ski trips, Hawaii, Caribbean, Mexico, Italy, Spain, golfing in Ireland, Scotch sipping in Scotland, hiking in some SE Asian country, F1 racing in Brazil, cousin so and so is studying abroad in Australia, blah blah blah. It's dizzying.

It didn't always used to be this way, did it?

Travel has always held some cachet of course. It is much more in your face because of social media addiction and social media accounts becoming people's and family's curated brand and personality. There is intense social pressure to signal or "flex" that you're "fun" and "worldly" and make a comfortable enough living to travel on a regular basis (even if you don't make enough money).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just weren’t this prone to jealousy before?

Who's jealous? It's just shallow and boring conversation. Shallow and boring is fine among professional work associates but family are only together a couple of times a year and THIS is the most spirited dialogue now? It's sad.

Travel is not “shallow and boring conversation.” What do you want to discuss? Little Larlo’s soccer? Little Larlo is going into AAP?

Nothing says I'm on this forum way too much quite like using this corny Larlo crap. Do you even have children?

[Anonymous]

I love when family talks about their trips. It is 10000x better than the catty gossip.

I’m not saying that their travel stories are interesting. In fact, if you were interested in learning about the place it would be highly frustrating! If it’s Europe, they’ve done a river cruise. As they describe what they saw they never can quite get the country, city or architectural site correct. It becomes a guessing game and my minor in art history comes in handy helping them. However, it is worlds better than hearing about how a cousin’s dress at whatever wedding didn’t fit her figure, has so and so put on weight, someone should say something, blah blah.

[Anonymous]

After degrees and career, it is one of the first things single men and women screen when they're courting each other. The handful of photos used for dating app profiles always include obvious travel photos, you sort of cyberstalk a potential date's instagram and see the places they frequent, and in the first date or two you're asking questions about recent trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else experiencing this right now? We've been to a few extended family gatherings so far this week and travel dominated the conversations. Suddenly, everyone thinks they're Anthony Bourdain and wants to brag about passport stamps. So and so to Japan, uncle so and so just went on a pheasant hunting or fly fishing trip, Utah and Colorado ski trips, Hawaii, Caribbean, Mexico, Italy, Spain, golfing in Ireland, Scotch sipping in Scotland, hiking in some SE Asian country, F1 racing in Brazil, cousin so and so is studying abroad in Australia, blah blah blah. It's dizzying.

It didn't always used to be this way, did it?

I'm sorry you are so jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My extended aunts/uncles all just got their inheritance and retirement and it’s nauseating - we were solid MC families who did road trip vacations and maybe one flight a year… now they’re planning month- long tours of a continent

I’ve been a traveler my entire adult life, I’m not jealous just annoyed by it all

yes you sound jealous. They are excited to be able to travel, and likely want to do what they can while they are still healthy and physically able to do it all. I'd be excited to to get that at any age.

Ok maybe I do sound jealous, but I’m not - I travel too. The point goes back to the OP who sounded annoyed by the tone of it all, bragging and one-upping each other which I wasn’t clear about being my issue here.

If my extended family was genuinely sharing their plans and experiences I too love that conversation (and it’s what I do with my friends), but they’re not. The conversation is just trying to battle who has the grander plan without any substance, now that they’re rich from their parents passing (my grandparents). I guess it’s better than politics discussion

I do hate Euro bragging. I have an ex-friend who did that and it was so annoying. But often travel is just an easy and generic conversation starter: "So, do you have any travel plans this summer..." etc. It's also a way to bond and share, since most people have some travel stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Travel has become an acceptable, barely masqueraded form of publicly bragging about your wealth. From teens to retired boomers. Everyone does it.

This. If it were socially acceptable to just post your pay stubs and tax returns, people would just do that.

[Anonymous]

Yep - it's a version of "I am so successful and have so much money, look what I bought" keeping up with the Joneses type thing.

Listen to my super fancy posh vaca and the amazing resort I stayed at and the expensive exotic things I did. Yes, it's fine to talk about travel but it does get boring when the purpose is to brag about money/success/look how much fun my life is. If they say something thoughtful then maybe it becomes interesting.

No different than I moved into a mansion, or my kid drives this fancy car or wearing overly expensive jewerly that is trendy but they may not even like if it weren't trendy.

I'm not into this even though I have more money than most ppl who brag this way. BUT maybe 70% of people are into this and are actually impressed and think more highly of people who show off their money and want to be their friend for this reason.

How do I find the other 30% to be friends with - that should be your real question.

[Anonymous]

I’m the opposite. I keep my travel secret. I don’t know anyone to know where I went or what I did there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea, as DH and I both grew up working class/lower middle class.

Off topic but we live in an UMC neighborhood now and I am amazed by all the expensive travel some families do (and wonder how they afford it). Pricey trips at peak rates for every school break/holiday (Hawaii, ski trips, Caribbean, Europe etc) and then really big summer trips also (African safaris etc). And many have larger families with 3-4 kids!

Anyway I definitely think travel is a big topic among a lot of the UMC. So doesn’t seem that unusual to me.

We do all of these things and we prioritize accordingly. DH and I both make good money, but we both drive used carmax cars, don't have any of the latest gadgets, there is only one TV in our home, our kids do not have phones. We spend our money on travel not day to day wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea, as DH and I both grew up working class/lower middle class.

Off topic but we live in an UMC neighborhood now and I am amazed by all the expensive travel some families do (and wonder how they afford it). Pricey trips at peak rates for every school break/holiday (Hawaii, ski trips, Caribbean, Europe etc) and then really big summer trips also (African safaris etc). And many have larger families with 3-4 kids!

Anyway I definitely think travel is a big topic among a lot of the UMC. So doesn’t seem that unusual to me.

We do all of these things and we prioritize accordingly. DH and I both make good money, but we both drive used carmax cars, don't have any of the latest gadgets, there is only one TV in our home, our kids do not have phones. We spend our money on travel not day to day wants.

We don't spend money on alcohol, and we don't post our travel photos on social media either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just weren’t this prone to jealousy before?

Who's jealous? It's just shallow and boring conversation. Shallow and boring is fine among professional work associates but family are only together a couple of times a year and THIS is the most spirited dialogue now? It's sad.

What’s better to discuss than travel in your estimation - kids?