Are upper middle class family gatherings now just luxury travel pissing contests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I"m more afraid my friends won't tell me about their trips. If it's what they've been doing, I want to hear - it's what's going on in their lives. I want to stay close, keep feeling close and involved in their lives. I want to hear.

I've traveled a lot myself though decades ago. Now, in sort of a lull. Tied to home and don't want to be. We all are likely to be caretaking someone else, sometime, due to their health problems. They need us home.

Be happy for people who are out adventuring. This is their time. Undoubtedly, it won't always be their time.

A demand from a friend like this would stress me put. I don't literally have to share my mind and every dot and tittle of the narrative my existence with you. And "afraid"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else experiencing this right now? We've been to a few extended family gatherings so far this week and travel dominated the conversations. Suddenly, everyone thinks they're Anthony Bourdain and wants to brag about passport stamps. So and so to Japan, uncle so and so just went on a pheasant hunting or fly fishing trip, Utah and Colorado ski trips, Hawaii, Caribbean, Mexico, Italy, Spain, golfing in Ireland, Scotch sipping in Scotland, hiking in some SE Asian country, F1 racing in Brazil, cousin so and so is studying abroad in Australia, blah blah blah. It's dizzying.

It didn't always used to be this way, did it?

It is better than political discussion.

I travel a lot and lived in many countries. It is part of my identity and if people asked me what was new, that was my life!

Be happy for them and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My extended aunts/uncles all just got their inheritance and retirement and it’s nauseating - we were solid MC families who did road trip vacations and maybe one flight a year… now they’re planning month- long tours of a continent

I’ve been a traveler my entire adult life, I’m not jealous just annoyed by it all

yes you sound jealous. They are excited to be able to travel, and likely want to do what they can while they are still healthy and physically able to do it all. I'd be excited to to get that at any age.

Ok maybe I do sound jealous, but I’m not - I travel too. The point goes back to the OP who sounded annoyed by the tone of it all, bragging and one-upping each other which I wasn’t clear about being my issue here.

If my extended family was genuinely sharing their plans and experiences I too love that conversation (and it’s what I do with my friends), but they’re not. The conversation is just trying to battle who has the grander plan without any substance, now that they’re rich from their parents passing (my grandparents). I guess it’s better than politics discussion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My extended aunts/uncles all just got their inheritance and retirement and it’s nauseating - we were solid MC families who did road trip vacations and maybe one flight a year… now they’re planning month- long tours of a continent

I’ve been a traveler my entire adult life, I’m not jealous just annoyed by it all

yes you sound jealous. They are excited to be able to travel, and likely want to do what they can while they are still healthy and physically able to do it all. I'd be excited to to get that at any age.

Ok maybe I do sound jealous, but I’m not - I travel too. The point goes back to the OP who sounded annoyed by the tone of it all, bragging and one-upping each other which I wasn’t clear about being my issue here.

If my extended family was genuinely sharing their plans and experiences I too love that conversation (and it’s what I do with my friends), but they’re not. The conversation is just trying to battle who has the grander plan without any substance, now that they’re rich from their parents passing (my grandparents). I guess it’s better than politics discussion

So if you are so bothered by it, then simply minimize your time with "family". We limit our time with annoying family. Rather spend that time with friends and family who we actually want to be with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else experiencing this right now? We've been to a few extended family gatherings so far this week and travel dominated the conversations. Suddenly, everyone thinks they're Anthony Bourdain and wants to brag about passport stamps. So and so to Japan, uncle so and so just went on a pheasant hunting or fly fishing trip, Utah and Colorado ski trips, Hawaii, Caribbean, Mexico, Italy, Spain, golfing in Ireland, Scotch sipping in Scotland, hiking in some SE Asian country, F1 racing in Brazil, cousin so and so is studying abroad in Australia, blah blah blah. It's dizzying.

It didn't always used to be this way, did it?

It's gotten insane. And yes, it's the lowest form of discourse. People are buying a personality with travel. It's not only all everyone brags about, it's the core of their social media posting, with is essentially your personality C.V.

[Anonymous]

Well, based on DCUM everything is bragging. You kid got into a good school after getting a 4.0 GPA -- bragging! You went for a vacation after having worked like a horse the whole year -- bragging! If you bought salmon for dinner -- bragging! Don't you dear mention politics if you don't agree with me! I honestly don't understand how some of you live, so envious of others and so self-centered. And of course if you don't vote for who I voted for you're not even a human!

In reality nobody is buying a personality with travel. Travel has been made more affordable than ever and it's no wonder people want to explore. It's normal. What is not normal is to incessantly complain and gossip all the time.

[Anonymous]

Travel has become an acceptable, barely masqueraded form of publicly bragging about your wealth. From teens to retired boomers. Everyone does it.

[Anonymous]

I grew up UMC in the Midwest 70s and 80s. Travel was big for our family but less for neighbors and friends. They pretty much stuck to Myrtle Beach, Florida and maybe Hilton Head. I’d say Ft Lauderdale, Kissimmee, Ft Meyer’s dominated midwestern UMC travel back then. The young single teachers in ES would always go to Acapulco and Puerta Vallarta. I didn’t meat other kids who had traveled to other countries until I went to boarding school on the east coast. They were mostly UMC and a few UC families but mostly from the east coast and international. Same with college. In the 90s working in DC, everyone traveled. Cheap tickets would come out and you could easily fly to London, Paris, Frankfurt hubs for less than a flight to the Midwest!

I think it’s a combination of cost changes, generation, and where you live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just weren’t this prone to jealousy before?

Who's jealous? It's just shallow and boring conversation. Shallow and boring is fine among professional work associates but family are only together a couple of times a year and THIS is the most spirited dialogue now? It's sad.

Let me guess, you find politics interesting and want to rant and rave about racism, fascism, communism, socialism, or being woke?

What’s more interesting to talk about than places different than where you live?

[Anonymous]

You seem quite jealous! Maybe you should book a trip of your own.

[Anonymous]

Also call me when they get second or third homes overseas. Travel is entry-level *eyeroll*

[Anonymous]

I think you all are WAY over-thinking this.

I didn't go to Europe until I was 36. So yeah, if I happen to take an international trip, which I do about once a year now, I'm going to be excited about it and probably mention it because I am legitimately excited. Don't like it? I guess change the subject. But that's kind of part of being a human who communicates with other humans: you don't always feel enamored with the topic, but you're polite, and in turn the other person doesn't drone on and on and then you get to talk.

[Anonymous]

Can't read all 27 pages but pretty sure others must have pointed out that travel is much cheaper now than it was in the 1980s and 1990s. I grew up solidly UMC, went to private schools, and in those days a trip to Europe every year was on the extravagant side. It was known, yes, but not common. Things were already starting to change in the 1990s as flights became cheaper and it also became much easier to plan a trip overseas yourself thanks to the internet age. Imagine booking a trip in the 1980s pre internet pre email?

Come to think of it, I remember a family trip to England in 1994 and it cost 10,000 for two weeks, including flights and accommodation and food and sightseeing. That same year 10,000 was the tuition at my private school. Today the same school charges 40,000 a year in tuition. The same family trip, traveling the same level we did in 1994, would cost probably around 16-18k.

That's how much cheaper travel has become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't read all 27 pages but pretty sure others must have pointed out that travel is much cheaper now than it was in the 1980s and 1990s. I grew up solidly UMC, went to private schools, and in those days a trip to Europe every year was on the extravagant side. It was known, yes, but not common. Things were already starting to change in the 1990s as flights became cheaper and it also became much easier to plan a trip overseas yourself thanks to the internet age. Imagine booking a trip in the 1980s pre internet pre email?

Come to think of it, I remember a family trip to England in 1994 and it cost 10,000 for two weeks, including flights and accommodation and food and sightseeing. That same year 10,000 was the tuition at my private school. Today the same school charges 40,000 a year in tuition. The same family trip, traveling the same level we did in 1994, would cost probably around 16-18k.

That's how much cheaper travel has become.

1. Private school tuition has far exceeded inflation
2. 16-18k is still extravagant

[Anonymous]

So in terms of travel costs flights are much cheaper now but luxury hotels and fine dining have risen significantly. In the 80s, we would stay in the Four Seasons most places in the US, the Crillon in Paris, Ritz in London etc. Even though we are wealthier than our parents now, we wouldn’t go near spending that much money on a hotel. Same goes for Michelin starred restaurants.