Are upper middle class family gatherings now just luxury travel pissing contests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our family has 3 hobbies—scuba diving, snowboarding/skiing, and unique natural or man made wonders. Most breaks we’re going to do something that ties into one of those 3 things.

For thanksgiving, we’re in Grenada diving. Airfare was on points. For the 4 of us, we got one hotel room. We all have our own gear. So 2k for diving for the week, 1k for the room, and another $1k for food.

$4k for 4 people to dive the Carribean isn’t crazy. But our trip was based on where I could get airfare. The hotel was running a stay/dive special.

When people ask how were the holidays, they know it will involve some travel. It’s what our family does.

Exhibit A

Meh, they sound fine. Except I don’t think that “unique natural or man made wonders” can be a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Ok so explain to us. In what context, if ever, are we allowed to mention travel such that it won’t be considered bragging?

If someone directly asks you, “so did you travel this summer?” you can respond with where you went. If they ask follow up questions, you may answer.

It’s that simple. If no one asks, don’t bring it up and definitely do not post on social media.

One could say this about almost any topic of conversation. So don’t talk about your kids, your job, your house, etc. Perhaps you could discuss the weather?

Yes, generally speaking you don't walk up to someone and start randomly bragging about something they didn't ask about it. That's how polite conversation works.

Who the hell does that?

I seriously think the people who claim these sort of obnoxious travel conversation happens have never been part of any of those conversations and are instead just making things up because they’re bitter they never go anywhere.

Good grief, everyone isn't jealous of your cliche-filled travel escapades. I know a few very rich who find traveling annoying and overrated, especially international travel. Their primary home is a mansion, they might have a second vacation home on a Delaware or Florida beach and that's pretty much the only place they go. They're not too poor to travel and they're not narrow-minded rubes. They're just rich and confident and don't need to try to buy a personality with airline miles and passport stamps.

We live in a 15,000sf primary residence and also have a beach house and have friends with homes we visit. We still travel often both domestically and internationally.

My husband doesn’t love to travel the way that I do. He would rather just go to our beach house or go to another relaxing place a short flight away.

Now THIS is bragging. And it’s frankly disgusting unless you have a multi-family, multi-generational living arrangement. And no, I am not envious. There are three people in my immediate family. I literally don’t know what we would do with 5000 sqf each.

That PP is the worst and exactly who we are talking about. But I kind of feel sorry for her. Imagine your happiness and self worth being so intimately tied up in how large and expensive your various homes are.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I always thought travel was a safe topic. I love to travel. I love to hear my friend’s travel stories. I don’t enjoy hearing about boring beach trips to bald island but I love hearing about Asia or Europe. I’m always looking for new places to go with my family.

Talking about cool sites you saw in Asia is fine. "Humble" bragging about your $1k+/night hotel or dropping a reference to (or worse posting a picture of) your lay flat seats is not.

Pp here. I know what you mean when people are trying to show off. We actually do stay at the 1-2k hotels but I don’t talk about the hotel. There are some people who who can appreciate a nice spa or afternoon tea though. Maybe that is what OP is referring to. 95% of the time I would not talk about this but there are those 5% where I actually really enjoy the details of a very nice hotel, especially if the hotel is the destination. We recently went to marina bay sands in Singapore. My kids loved the hotel and the adjacent attractions.

Any comment remotely like this is exactly what OP is talking about.

+1. But I do like that PP distilled how superficial global travel has become: 20+ hour flight each way to be pampered at a luxury hotel. The same experience is available at any nearby Ritz or Four Seasons, but that wouldn’t be “exotic” enough or brag worthy at the next social gathering.

Similar to “low key” braggarts who travel to third world dumps half way around the world so they can boast about hiking there. You can do all the world class hiking you want in West Virginia, but Appalachia isn’t exotic for them, of course.

West Virginia is beautiful, but if you can’t see why someone would want to also hike in the Scottish highlands or on the Croatian coast, I can’t help you.

Sounds like you either haven’t really traveled or have only done resort travel, so you think that’s the only option.

I’ve been to 30 countries, lived in Russia and rural Thailand, and I’ve stayed in everything from a hut with no beds in a tiny Thai village to a Cambodian hostel to an overwater bungalow on Bora Bora.

It’s all amazing. Sad that you can’t appreciate what travel really can be.

Oh and my Thanksgiving travel conversation was great.

My parents talked about hiking the mountains in New Zealand.

My friend’s parents talked about their biking trip down the Croatian coast.

I answered questions about what it was like to live with a woman and her daughter in St Petersburg, Russia. I told them what we used to talk about while watching Russian state TV and having tea and cookies.

People also wanted to know what it was like visiting Kyiv, Pskov, and Novgorod, navigating Russian public transportation, etc.

What if this is an actual Russian bot promoting Russian tourism now that the election is over

Wow. You’re so myopic that you can’t think of anything about Russia beyond bots.

Ask Jeff to check if I’m a bot. I promise you I’m not. I studied abroad in Russia in 2008.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so explain to us. In what context, if ever, are we allowed to mention travel such that it won’t be considered bragging?

If someone directly asks you, “so did you travel this summer?” you can respond with where you went. If they ask follow up questions, you may answer.

It’s that simple. If no one asks, don’t bring it up and definitely do not post on social media.

One could say this about almost any topic of conversation. So don’t talk about your kids, your job, your house, etc. Perhaps you could discuss the weather?

Yes, generally speaking you don't walk up to someone and start randomly bragging about something they didn't ask about it. That's how polite conversation works.

Who the hell does that?

I seriously think the people who claim these sort of obnoxious travel conversation happens have never been part of any of those conversations and are instead just making things up because they’re bitter they never go anywhere.

Good grief, everyone isn't jealous of your cliche-filled travel escapades. I know a few very rich who find traveling annoying and overrated, especially international travel. Their primary home is a mansion, they might have a second vacation home on a Delaware or Florida beach and that's pretty much the only place they go. They're not too poor to travel and they're not narrow-minded rubes. They're just rich and confident and don't need to try to buy a personality with airline miles and passport stamps.

We live in a 15,000sf primary residence and also have a beach house and have friends with homes we visit. We still travel often both domestically and internationally.

My husband doesn’t love to travel the way that I do. He would rather just go to our beach house or go to another relaxing place a short flight away.

Now THIS is bragging. And it’s frankly disgusting unless you have a multi-family, multi-generational living arrangement. And no, I am not envious. There are three people in my immediate family. I literally don’t know what we would do with 5000 sqf each.

I completely agree. I tell my daughter that people make a lot of different choices with housing and have varying means.

But I am not shy about telling her that the 15,000sq ft houses we pass on River Road are way too big and are massively wasteful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so explain to us. In what context, if ever, are we allowed to mention travel such that it won’t be considered bragging?

If someone directly asks you, “so did you travel this summer?” you can respond with where you went. If they ask follow up questions, you may answer.

It’s that simple. If no one asks, don’t bring it up and definitely do not post on social media.

One could say this about almost any topic of conversation. So don’t talk about your kids, your job, your house, etc. Perhaps you could discuss the weather?

Yes, generally speaking you don't walk up to someone and start randomly bragging about something they didn't ask about it. That's how polite conversation works.

Who the hell does that?

I seriously think the people who claim these sort of obnoxious travel conversation happens have never been part of any of those conversations and are instead just making things up because they’re bitter they never go anywhere.

Good grief, everyone isn't jealous of your cliche-filled travel escapades. I know a few very rich who find traveling annoying and overrated, especially international travel. Their primary home is a mansion, they might have a second vacation home on a Delaware or Florida beach and that's pretty much the only place they go. They're not too poor to travel and they're not narrow-minded rubes. They're just rich and confident and don't need to try to buy a personality with airline miles and passport stamps.

We live in a 15,000sf primary residence and also have a beach house and have friends with homes we visit. We still travel often both domestically and internationally.

My husband doesn’t love to travel the way that I do. He would rather just go to our beach house or go to another relaxing place a short flight away.

Now THIS is bragging. And it’s frankly disgusting unless you have a multi-family, multi-generational living arrangement. And no, I am not envious. There are three people in my immediate family. I literally don’t know what we would do with 5000 sqf each.

That PP is the worst and exactly who we are talking about. But I kind of feel sorry for her. Imagine your happiness and self worth being so intimately tied up in how large and expensive your various homes are.

I only commented about the size of house and a beach house because the pp made it seem like people who had a mansion and vacation homes would rather just go there and that is not true.

I have never mentioned the size of my house in conversation. People who come over for play dates and parties may tell us we have a nice home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so explain to us. In what context, if ever, are we allowed to mention travel such that it won’t be considered bragging?

If someone directly asks you, “so did you travel this summer?” you can respond with where you went. If they ask follow up questions, you may answer.

It’s that simple. If no one asks, don’t bring it up and definitely do not post on social media.

One could say this about almost any topic of conversation. So don’t talk about your kids, your job, your house, etc. Perhaps you could discuss the weather?

Yes, generally speaking you don't walk up to someone and start randomly bragging about something they didn't ask about it. That's how polite conversation works.

Who the hell does that?

I seriously think the people who claim these sort of obnoxious travel conversation happens have never been part of any of those conversations and are instead just making things up because they’re bitter they never go anywhere.

Good grief, everyone isn't jealous of your cliche-filled travel escapades. I know a few very rich who find traveling annoying and overrated, especially international travel. Their primary home is a mansion, they might have a second vacation home on a Delaware or Florida beach and that's pretty much the only place they go. They're not too poor to travel and they're not narrow-minded rubes. They're just rich and confident and don't need to try to buy a personality with airline miles and passport stamps.

We live in a 15,000sf primary residence and also have a beach house and have friends with homes we visit. We still travel often both domestically and internationally.

My husband doesn’t love to travel the way that I do. He would rather just go to our beach house or go to another relaxing place a short flight away.

Now THIS is bragging. And it’s frankly disgusting unless you have a multi-family, multi-generational living arrangement. And no, I am not envious. There are three people in my immediate family. I literally don’t know what we would do with 5000 sqf each.

That PP is the worst and exactly who we are talking about. But I kind of feel sorry for her. Imagine your happiness and self worth being so intimately tied up in how large and expensive your various homes are.

I only commented about the size of house and a beach house because the pp made it seem like people who had a mansion and vacation homes would rather just go there and that is not true.

I have never mentioned the size of my house in conversation. People who come over for play dates and parties may tell us we have a nice home.

There is a zero percent chance you don’t come off as snobby IRL.

[Anonymous]

My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love hearing about people’s trips. Love it!

Same! I get so many ideas this way and I love asking for recommendations. For example, our family is well-traveled throughout South America, I am talking about the entire continent, we have hit every country. So when my DS' best friend asked for recommendations for his first time in Colombia, we happily obliged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always thought travel was a safe topic. I love to travel. I love to hear my friend’s travel stories. I don’t enjoy hearing about boring beach trips to bald island but I love hearing about Asia or Europe. I’m always looking for new places to go with my family.

Talking about cool sites you saw in Asia is fine. "Humble" bragging about your $1k+/night hotel or dropping a reference to (or worse posting a picture of) your lay flat seats is not.

Pp here. I know what you mean when people are trying to show off. We actually do stay at the 1-2k hotels but I don’t talk about the hotel. There are some people who who can appreciate a nice spa or afternoon tea though. Maybe that is what OP is referring to. 95% of the time I would not talk about this but there are those 5% where I actually really enjoy the details of a very nice hotel, especially if the hotel is the destination. We recently went to marina bay sands in Singapore. My kids loved the hotel and the adjacent attractions.

Any comment remotely like this is exactly what OP is talking about.

+1. But I do like that PP distilled how superficial global travel has become: 20+ hour flight each way to be pampered at a luxury hotel. The same experience is available at any nearby Ritz or Four Seasons, but that wouldn’t be “exotic” enough or brag worthy at the next social gathering.

Similar to “low key” braggarts who travel to third world dumps half way around the world so they can boast about hiking there. You can do all the world class hiking you want in West Virginia, but Appalachia isn’t exotic for them, of course.

West Virginia is beautiful, but if you can’t see why someone would want to also hike in the Scottish highlands or on the Croatian coast, I can’t help you.

Sounds like you either haven’t really traveled or have only done resort travel, so you think that’s the only option.

I’ve been to 30 countries, lived in Russia and rural Thailand, and I’ve stayed in everything from a hut with no beds in a tiny Thai village to a Cambodian hostel to an overwater bungalow on Bora Bora.

It’s all amazing. Sad that you can’t appreciate what travel really can be.

Oh and my Thanksgiving travel conversation was great.

My parents talked about hiking the mountains in New Zealand.

My friend’s parents talked about their biking trip down the Croatian coast.

I answered questions about what it was like to live with a woman and her daughter in St Petersburg, Russia. I told them what we used to talk about while watching Russian state TV and having tea and cookies.

People also wanted to know what it was like visiting Kyiv, Pskov, and Novgorod, navigating Russian public transportation, etc.

What if this is an actual Russian bot promoting Russian tourism now that the election is over

Wow. You’re so myopic that you can’t think of anything about Russia beyond bots.

Ask Jeff to check if I’m a bot. I promise you I’m not. I studied abroad in Russia in 2008.

I studied abroad in Russia in 1993 and lived there for a bit afterward and do sometimes trot out those stories mostly because they are so harsh-t insane. But I don’t think that’s the kind of thing that OP is talking about. And I’m definitely not a Russian bot! I’ve been telling people that it’s immoral to travel to Russia for at least a decade. I got flamed on this board probably about 6 years ago for telling people not to travel to Putin’s Russia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so explain to us. In what context, if ever, are we allowed to mention travel such that it won’t be considered bragging?

If someone directly asks you, “so did you travel this summer?” you can respond with where you went. If they ask follow up questions, you may answer.

It’s that simple. If no one asks, don’t bring it up and definitely do not post on social media.

One could say this about almost any topic of conversation. So don’t talk about your kids, your job, your house, etc. Perhaps you could discuss the weather?

Yes, generally speaking you don't walk up to someone and start randomly bragging about something they didn't ask about it. That's how polite conversation works.

Who the hell does that?

I seriously think the people who claim these sort of obnoxious travel conversation happens have never been part of any of those conversations and are instead just making things up because they’re bitter they never go anywhere.

Good grief, everyone isn't jealous of your cliche-filled travel escapades. I know a few very rich who find traveling annoying and overrated, especially international travel. Their primary home is a mansion, they might have a second vacation home on a Delaware or Florida beach and that's pretty much the only place they go. They're not too poor to travel and they're not narrow-minded rubes. They're just rich and confident and don't need to try to buy a personality with airline miles and passport stamps.

We live in a 15,000sf primary residence and also have a beach house and have friends with homes we visit. We still travel often both domestically and internationally.

My husband doesn’t love to travel the way that I do. He would rather just go to our beach house or go to another relaxing place a short flight away.

Now THIS is bragging. And it’s frankly disgusting unless you have a multi-family, multi-generational living arrangement. And no, I am not envious. There are three people in my immediate family. I literally don’t know what we would do with 5000 sqf each.

That PP is the worst and exactly who we are talking about. But I kind of feel sorry for her. Imagine your happiness and self worth being so intimately tied up in how large and expensive your various homes are.

I only commented about the size of house and a beach house because the pp made it seem like people who had a mansion and vacation homes would rather just go there and that is not true.

I have never mentioned the size of my house in conversation. People who come over for play dates and parties may tell us we have a nice home.

You should start an AMA I live in a 15K square foot house plus have two vacation homes I just can’t imagine that! Don’t want to detail this thread but have so many questions….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always thought travel was a safe topic. I love to travel. I love to hear my friend’s travel stories. I don’t enjoy hearing about boring beach trips to bald island but I love hearing about Asia or Europe. I’m always looking for new places to go with my family.

Talking about cool sites you saw in Asia is fine. "Humble" bragging about your $1k+/night hotel or dropping a reference to (or worse posting a picture of) your lay flat seats is not.

Pp here. I know what you mean when people are trying to show off. We actually do stay at the 1-2k hotels but I don’t talk about the hotel. There are some people who who can appreciate a nice spa or afternoon tea though. Maybe that is what OP is referring to. 95% of the time I would not talk about this but there are those 5% where I actually really enjoy the details of a very nice hotel, especially if the hotel is the destination. We recently went to marina bay sands in Singapore. My kids loved the hotel and the adjacent attractions.

Any comment remotely like this is exactly what OP is talking about.

+1. But I do like that PP distilled how superficial global travel has become: 20+ hour flight each way to be pampered at a luxury hotel. The same experience is available at any nearby Ritz or Four Seasons, but that wouldn’t be “exotic” enough or brag worthy at the next social gathering.

Similar to “low key” braggarts who travel to third world dumps half way around the world so they can boast about hiking there. You can do all the world class hiking you want in West Virginia, but Appalachia isn’t exotic for them, of course.

West Virginia is beautiful, but if you can’t see why someone would want to also hike in the Scottish highlands or on the Croatian coast, I can’t help you.

Sounds like you either haven’t really traveled or have only done resort travel, so you think that’s the only option.

I’ve been to 30 countries, lived in Russia and rural Thailand, and I’ve stayed in everything from a hut with no beds in a tiny Thai village to a Cambodian hostel to an overwater bungalow on Bora Bora.

It’s all amazing. Sad that you can’t appreciate what travel really can be.

Oh and my Thanksgiving travel conversation was great.

My parents talked about hiking the mountains in New Zealand.

My friend’s parents talked about their biking trip down the Croatian coast.

I answered questions about what it was like to live with a woman and her daughter in St Petersburg, Russia. I told them what we used to talk about while watching Russian state TV and having tea and cookies.

People also wanted to know what it was like visiting Kyiv, Pskov, and Novgorod, navigating Russian public transportation, etc.

What if this is an actual Russian bot promoting Russian tourism now that the election is over

Wow. You’re so myopic that you can’t think of anything about Russia beyond bots.

Ask Jeff to check if I’m a bot. I promise you I’m not. I studied abroad in Russia in 2008.

I studied abroad in Russia in 1993 and lived there for a bit afterward and do sometimes trot out those stories mostly because they are so harsh-t insane. But I don’t think that’s the kind of thing that OP is talking about. And I’m definitely not a Russian bot! I’ve been telling people that it’s immoral to travel to Russia for at least a decade. I got flamed on this board probably about 6 years ago for telling people not to travel to Putin’s Russia.

I am with you, I don't understand how anyone can travel to Russia these days. Spare me the whole "we have family there". You can still meet them elsewhere, no need to set foot on that soil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a theory. I think many people, especially UMC, are socially isolated. There seem to be a lot of UMC families where both parents work and they have very few friends, if any. Any social activities seem to revolve around kids’ activities. Most of their time is spent working and managing their household.

Travel is all they have. There isn’t much else for them to share about at a dinner. During school breaks and vacation weeks they travel because there isn’t anything going on at home. They don’t have friends to spend time with so it’s off they go to a new place as a family.

Well, people do travel during holidays, doesn't matter if they are UMC or LMC or on welfare. A lot of people, at least in this area, save money so that can travel on Thanksgiving or Christmas just to see their families.

I am UMC, we travel on holidays, we also have lots of friends who do the same. We just don't hang out during Thanksgiving or Christmas, but see plenty of each other on other days. And that's OK, nothing to do with "social isolation".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you just weren’t this prone to jealousy before?

Who's jealous? It's just shallow and boring conversation. Shallow and boring is fine among professional work associates but family are only together a couple of times a year and THIS is the most spirited dialogue now? It's sad.

Travel is not “shallow and boring conversation.” What do you want to discuss? Little Larlo’s soccer? Little Larlo is going into AAP?

You piss money away flying places to eat & booze to try to appear interesting. It's just mindless consumerism.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why do you care if someone "pisses away" their hard-earned money? Stay home, watch football, that's much more entertaining

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.

Not any budget. Many people can barely afford to eat every day much less ever own a car and say they skimp by driving economy cars. I get your point even though your hobbies are somewhat expensive, but there are people that turn these activities into reflections that are tone deaf. Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people and loveliness of being around animals after doing her 3rd safari tour staying in luxurious accommodations and being led by a guide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.

Not any budget. Many people can barely afford to eat every day much less ever own a car and say they skimp by driving economy cars. I get your point even though your hobbies are somewhat expensive, but there are people that turn these activities into reflections that are tone deaf. Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people and loveliness of being around animals after doing her 3rd safari tour staying in luxurious accommodations and being led by a guide.

Why all the shaming? So the mom can travel to her 3rd safari, so what? Why is everyone so offended all of a sudden? Did she steal her travel money? Or she should've not gone anywhere and "could've helped the less fortunate"?

Oh and "many people can barefly afford to eat every day"...no offense, but there are a lot of programs to feed the hungry. I regularly donate to our local food back and you should hear the stories about how picky some people are. There are free lunches at schools for those who qualify too.

Yes, my hobbies are expensive, I like them, I pay for them, I don't borrow or whine or b*** about how expensive things are. I'd rather travel the world than sit on my ass whining.