Guys, let's be clear: JD Vance didn't have sex with his couch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve all been pretty tough on him. He's clearly had a tough week.

Maybe we should couch our criticisms more carefully in order to cushion the blow.

I truly needed this in my life. Thank you, universe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all kind of hilarious. Thank you for the good laughs this morning!

What specifically do you find hilarious about an anon twitter troll lying about a man having sex with furniture?

HAHAHA please this is objectively funny, how did you think writing this would help your case?

It’s easier to describe what’s NOT funny about it. Like just the idea of someone having sex with a couch is so pathetic and silly and stupid.

[Anonymous]

My man, JD. The struggle is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish that excerpt was true, but it can’t be real

I have removed the excerpt because it is certainly not real. I don' have a copy of the book on hand (strange because I am pretty sure I both an ebook version) but there are several indications beyond the lewd content that it is fake.

I do have a copy and checked and it is not there, at least not on the pages cited. I also think it is something I would remember reading, which I don't.

The exchange with his grandma (is that one real? I have never read the book and don’t have any interest in doing so) is plenty bad enough. The “do you like to ___ (r)ick” passage is the one I’m talking about.

Yes, that is real but in context is tolerant of gay people. In fact, J. D. goes to some length to show tolerance for gay people throughout the book.

There is a 0% chance that exchange with grandma happened. It’s one of the more obvious made up exchanges in the book. He is a transparent serial fabricator and pathological liar.

Well, yeah…. But thsts why everyone believed the couch thing.

+1
Republicans have had a pretty slippery relationship with the truth lately, and then they seem willing to admit to awful things (“my dog acted like a dog, so I took it to the gravel pit and shot it. Then I shot my pet goat.”).

Meanwhile, it’s just JD and his Chesterfield, buttons popping off, as Usha walks in on them and says, “not again, JD! You promised!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's not couches that turns him on but dolphin porn...

https://www.rawstory.com/jd-vance-dolphin-search-history/

Oh god oh god... this guy...

That ... is deeply weird. This guy is so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's not couches that turns him on but dolphin porn...

https://www.rawstory.com/jd-vance-dolphin-search-history/

Oh god oh god... this guy...

That ... is deeply weird. This guy is so weird.

Those Duggar comparisons are looking more accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all kind of hilarious. Thank you for the good laughs this morning!

What specifically do you find hilarious about an anon twitter troll lying about a man having sex with furniture?

HAHAHA please this is objectively funny, how did you think writing this would help your case?

It’s easier to describe what’s NOT funny about it. Like just the idea of someone having sex with a couch is so pathetic and silly and stupid.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

He sure acts terminally online closeted incel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish that excerpt was true, but it can’t be real

I have removed the excerpt because it is certainly not real. I don' have a copy of the book on hand (strange because I am pretty sure I both an ebook version) but there are several indications beyond the lewd content that it is fake.

I do have a copy and checked and it is not there, at least not on the pages cited. I also think it is something I would remember reading, which I don't.

The exchange with his grandma (is that one real? I have never read the book and don’t have any interest in doing so) is plenty bad enough. The “do you like to ___ (r)ick” passage is the one I’m talking about.

Yes, that is real but in context is tolerant of gay people. In fact, J. D. goes to some length to show tolerance for gay people throughout the book.

There is a 0% chance that exchange with grandma happened. It’s one of the more obvious made up exchanges in the book. He is a transparent serial fabricator and pathological liar.

Well, yeah…. But thsts why everyone believed the couch thing.

+1
Republicans have had a pretty slippery relationship with the truth lately, and then they seem willing to admit to awful things (“my dog acted like a dog, so I took it to the gravel pit and shot it. Then I shot my pet goat.”).

Meanwhile, it’s just JD and his Chesterfield, buttons popping off, as Usha walks in on them and says, “not again, JD! You promised!”

it wasn't a dog, it was a puppy...

do you think Vance has ever SHOT a couch after he slept with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's not couches that turns him on but dolphin porn...

https://www.rawstory.com/jd-vance-dolphin-search-history/

Oh god oh god... this guy...

That ... is deeply weird. This guy is so weird.

Those Duggar comparisons are looking more accurate.

You know, the vibe is there. Creepy misogynist fundamentalist, into some weird stuff, with the quiet part just bursting to come out from his lips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish that excerpt was true, but it can’t be real

I have removed the excerpt because it is certainly not real. I don' have a copy of the book on hand (strange because I am pretty sure I both an ebook version) but there are several indications beyond the lewd content that it is fake.

I do have a copy and checked and it is not there, at least not on the pages cited. I also think it is something I would remember reading, which I don't.

The exchange with his grandma (is that one real? I have never read the book and don’t have any interest in doing so) is plenty bad enough. The “do you like to ___ (r)ick” passage is the one I’m talking about.

Yes, that is real but in context is tolerant of gay people. In fact, J. D. goes to some length to show tolerance for gay people throughout the book.

There is a 0% chance that exchange with grandma happened. It’s one of the more obvious made up exchanges in the book. He is a transparent serial fabricator and pathological liar.

Well, yeah…. But thsts why everyone believed the couch thing.

+1
Republicans have had a pretty slippery relationship with the truth lately, and then they seem willing to admit to awful things (“my dog acted like a dog, so I took it to the gravel pit and shot it. Then I shot my pet goat.”).

Meanwhile, it’s just JD and his Chesterfield, buttons popping off, as Usha walks in on them and says, “not again, JD! You promised!”

it wasn't a dog, it was a puppy...

do you think Vance has ever SHOT a couch after he slept with it?

He just tells the couch not to tell anyone, or he'll have to hurt the ottoman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all kind of hilarious. Thank you for the good laughs this morning!

What specifically do you find hilarious about an anon twitter troll lying about a man having sex with furniture?

HAHAHA please this is objectively funny, how did you think writing this would help your case?

It’s easier to describe what’s NOT funny about it. Like just the idea of someone having sex with a couch is so pathetic and silly and stupid.

If you’ve seen a picture of JD Vance you may realize very few animate objects are lining up for him…

[Anonymous]

He did not have sectional relations with that sofa!!

[Anonymous]

Does anyone know if JDV is heteroSECTIONAL?

[Anonymous]

JDV doesnt believe in abortion because he loves a pull out