Neither AC wants kids. I can't help feeling like I failed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make the inheritance contingent upon having grandchildren to provide an incentive.

Bad idea. I would not accept your money with strings

Pretty sure most would.

[Anonymous]

omigod!
I married a man when I was 42 and he was 39. (dated before then, but finally found a great guy later in life)

We jointly decided that we wouldn't have children - I would have, but he really didn't want to start so late, and the thought of being 48 to 50 in the kindergarten pickup line made me pause anyway. So his mother never got grandchildren and my parents didn't get any from me (2 from my sibling) and..... they haven't said a word about it to either of us! This was OUR decision! If we'd met in our late 20s or mid 30s we would have, totally, had children. (or tried, whose to say I was fertile? I've never had a single missed period and believe me, my bc wasn't perfect from 22 to 50)

It's not a guarantee when YOU have children that you will have grandchildren. It's not about you!

Honestly, I have worked through my sadness at not having children, and you can, too. And I have a wonderful life, filled with family, a wonderful husband, friends, a wonderful home, no college tuitions to save for, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have worked through my sadness at not having children, and you can, too. And I have a wonderful life, filled with family, a wonderful husband, friends, a wonderful home, no college tuitions to save for, etc.

Copium.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel sad, too, Op. I think your feelings are normal.

Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make the inheritance contingent upon having grandchildren to provide an incentive.

Bad idea. I would not accept your money with strings

Pretty sure most would.

So? I am not 'most' people. And what if they take your money but get a nanny or ignore their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's wild that people think having children is optional. One of the few things we require from our kids: grandchildren. Investing all that time and money for children to selfishly end your family is insane.

Joke is on you. It is optional and we are living through a baby bust so other people think the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either their childhoods weren't so great OP, or they are under a lot of pressure to be "successful" which doesn't make it easy to have kids.

No one is forcing you to stop unlike those who are forcing you to have kids. The pp is expressing their opinion. There is more to life than having as many kids as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting married and intentionally deciding not to have kids is quite strange. This is not normal human behavior.

What if you get married but can't have kids? Do you deserve to continue in the human race or just off yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wild that people think having children is optional. One of the few things we require from our kids: grandchildren. Investing all that time and money for children to selfishly end your family is insane.

How exactly are you going to enforce this?

You don't "enforce" this, but you sure as heck raise your children to understand that the purpose of marriage is for a woman and man to raise children within the family unit. Also, when they start forming families, you support them financially with your savings from a lifetime of work. Any children who pursue a more selfish life are not assisted.

In short, if you want more of something, you subsidize it.

What if your kids couldn't have kids? Would you still punish them? And if you highly favored your children who had children please don't expect a loving relationship with your childfree children. Personally, I would work hard so I would not need your blood money AND I wouldn't see you ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wild that people think having children is optional. One of the few things we require from our kids: grandchildren. Investing all that time and money for children to selfishly end your family is insane.

How exactly are you going to enforce this?

You don't "enforce" this, but you sure as heck raise your children to understand that the purpose of marriage is for a woman and man to raise children within the family unit. Also, when they start forming families, you support them financially with your savings from a lifetime of work. Any children who pursue a more selfish life are not assisted.

In short, if you want more of something, you subsidize it.

What if your kids couldn't have kids? Would you still punish them? And if you highly favored your children who had children please don't expect a loving relationship with your childfree children. Personally, I would work hard so I would not need your blood money AND I wouldn't see you ever again.

If a child did the right thing and got married young, you support him or her if there is an infertility struggle. That's bad luck and not the result of bad choices. If a daughter waits until she's 39 because she's pursuing her career (lol), then she's wasted her youth and a terrible disappointment. There is nothing better in this world than raising children and grandchildren. If a child is too selfish to continue the tradition of her ancestors, she dishonors her family and deserves scorn.

You would be welcome to go off into the ether to take care of yourself and let your bloodline die with you. I can't imagine a more shallow and selfish existence, and I'd wonder where I failed as a parent to raise such a person. A life serving others, especially your children and grandchildren, is far more rewarding than serving yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel sad, too, Op. I think your feelings are normal.

I would feel sad too. It is not a failure, but can totally understand feelings of sadness that your family isn’t growing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wild that people think having children is optional. One of the few things we require from our kids: grandchildren. Investing all that time and money for children to selfishly end your family is insane.

How exactly are you going to enforce this?

You don't "enforce" this, but you sure as heck raise your children to understand that the purpose of marriage is for a woman and man to raise children within the family unit. Also, when they start forming families, you support them financially with your savings from a lifetime of work. Any children who pursue a more selfish life are not assisted.

In short, if you want more of something, you subsidize it.

What if your kids couldn't have kids? Would you still punish them? And if you highly favored your children who had children please don't expect a loving relationship with your childfree children. Personally, I would work hard so I would not need your blood money AND I wouldn't see you ever again.

If a child did the right thing and got married young, you support him or her if there is an infertility struggle. That's bad luck and not the result of bad choices. If a daughter waits until she's 39 because she's pursuing her career (lol), then she's wasted her youth and a terrible disappointment. There is nothing better in this world than raising children and grandchildren. If a child is too selfish to continue the tradition of her ancestors, she dishonors her family and deserves scorn.

You would be welcome to go off into the ether to take care of yourself and let your bloodline die with you. I can't imagine a more shallow and selfish existence, and I'd wonder where I failed as a parent to raise such a person. A life serving others, especially your children and grandchildren, is far more rewarding than serving yourself.

Holy shit! Just when I think I’ve seen it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wild that people think having children is optional. One of the few things we require from our kids: grandchildren. Investing all that time and money for children to selfishly end your family is insane.

How exactly are you going to enforce this?

You don't "enforce" this, but you sure as heck raise your children to understand that the purpose of marriage is for a woman and man to raise children within the family unit. Also, when they start forming families, you support them financially with your savings from a lifetime of work. Any children who pursue a more selfish life are not assisted.

In short, if you want more of something, you subsidize it.

What if your kids couldn't have kids? Would you still punish them? And if you highly favored your children who had children please don't expect a loving relationship with your childfree children. Personally, I would work hard so I would not need your blood money AND I wouldn't see you ever again.

If a child did the right thing and got married young, you support him or her if there is an infertility struggle. That's bad luck and not the result of bad choices. If a daughter waits until she's 39 because she's pursuing her career (lol), then she's wasted her youth and a terrible disappointment. There is nothing better in this world than raising children and grandchildren. If a child is too selfish to continue the tradition of her ancestors, she dishonors her family and deserves scorn.

You would be welcome to go off into the ether to take care of yourself and let your bloodline die with you. I can't imagine a more shallow and selfish existence, and I'd wonder where I failed as a parent to raise such a person. A life serving others, especially your children and grandchildren, is far more rewarding than serving yourself.

If you truly feel that a life "serving" your children is better than "serving yourself," then you would actually support your children even if they don't want to make grandchildren that you desire. And you would definitely not write things like, "wow my daughter is an idiot for achieving a career to support her family before making one."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wild that people think having children is optional. One of the few things we require from our kids: grandchildren. Investing all that time and money for children to selfishly end your family is insane.

How exactly are you going to enforce this?

You don't "enforce" this, but you sure as heck raise your children to understand that the purpose of marriage is for a woman and man to raise children within the family unit. Also, when they start forming families, you support them financially with your savings from a lifetime of work. Any children who pursue a more selfish life are not assisted.

In short, if you want more of something, you subsidize it.

What if your kids couldn't have kids? Would you still punish them? And if you highly favored your children who had children please don't expect a loving relationship with your childfree children. Personally, I would work hard so I would not need your blood money AND I wouldn't see you ever again.

If a child did the right thing and got married young, you support him or her if there is an infertility struggle. That's bad luck and not the result of bad choices. If a daughter waits until she's 39 because she's pursuing her career (lol), then she's wasted her youth and a terrible disappointment. There is nothing better in this world than raising children and grandchildren. If a child is too selfish to continue the tradition of her ancestors, she dishonors her family and deserves scorn.

You would be welcome to go off into the ether to take care of yourself and let your bloodline die with you. I can't imagine a more shallow and selfish existence, and I'd wonder where I failed as a parent to raise such a person. A life serving others, especially your children and grandchildren, is far more rewarding than serving yourself.

Do you mean you're the disappointment because you failed to give your daughter the generational wealth she needs to support her family without pursuing a career? After all, it's your duty to "serve" your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wild that people think having children is optional. One of the few things we require from our kids: grandchildren. Investing all that time and money for children to selfishly end your family is insane.

Joke is on you. It is optional and we are living through a baby bust so other people think the same.

Nah, we raised our kids right and are highly likely to get a pile of grandkids. The baby bust people we know are sad, feminist heathens.