I cannot believe there are still people out there spanking their children...

[Anonymous]

it makes me sad that I used to use this forum for advice and now that i know how many parents on here think spanking is cool it feels like everything else is tainted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it makes me sad that I used to use this forum for advice and now that i know how many parents on here think spanking is cool it feels like everything else is tainted.

But did you generally find the advice you received to be effective?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it makes me sad that I used to use this forum for advice and now that i know how many parents on here think spanking is cool it feels like everything else is tainted.

But did you generally find the advice you received to be effective?

I don’t know that I took enough of it to have a strong data set but most of it is highly subjective of course. But I always just assumed it was from pretty well educated/ somewhat level headed, like minded people. I don’t correlate spanking with those traits, regardless of whether someone’s dad in the 80s had a phd and still spanked them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

When they speak up about CIO then I'll give a crap what they recommend. Spanking a CHILD is not okay but letting a BABY cry itself to sleep is fine? What BS.

What? Hitting a child is physically abusive. Leaving a baby to cry itself to sleep is emotionally neglectful and manipulative but it is pretty different than hitting. I am fine with a strong anti-spanking stance and radio silence on sleep training.

side note sometimes you sleep through baby crying or are in the shower. babies cry ALL the time. not stopping babies crying instantly is not the same as actively walloping a small human.

OK, so teaching a tiny baby they can't count on their parents to take care of their needs so they might as well give up or just run out of energy crying and fall asleep is okay with you -- but you flinch at spanking. Again, what BS. CIO is abuse.

you may well be right but this is not the subject of this thread, nor are those saying spanking is not fine, saying cio is. we are also not saying killing giraffes on safari, putting electric collars on dogs, rubbing cats noses in their own poop, locking kids in their room in time out, 'the silent treatment' for a spouse or partner, firing someone without notice, firing a pregnant person, emotional affairs, affairs when your spouse has dementia, quick remarriage after widowhood, and innumerable other perceived transgressions are or are not ok. we are talking about hitting kids. so please, stay on message.

Well someone brought up the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation not to spank. Hence I was saying, I don't think their opinion is valid since they are silent on the abuse of CIO. Their opinion is suspect.

Follow along, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How could anyone be surprised that kids still get spanked? Way worse things happen to kids every day.

...Like child rape / sex trafficking—right under your noses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

When they speak up about CIO then I'll give a crap what they recommend. Spanking a CHILD is not okay but letting a BABY cry itself to sleep is fine? What BS.

What? Hitting a child is physically abusive. Leaving a baby to cry itself to sleep is emotionally neglectful and manipulative but it is pretty different than hitting. I am fine with a strong anti-spanking stance and radio silence on sleep training.

side note sometimes you sleep through baby crying or are in the shower. babies cry ALL the time. not stopping babies crying instantly is not the same as actively walloping a small human.

OK, so teaching a tiny baby they can't count on their parents to take care of their needs so they might as well give up or just run out of energy crying and fall asleep is okay with you -- but you flinch at spanking. Again, what BS. CIO is abuse.

you may well be right but this is not the subject of this thread, nor are those saying spanking is not fine, saying cio is. we are also not saying killing giraffes on safari, putting electric collars on dogs, rubbing cats noses in their own poop, locking kids in their room in time out, 'the silent treatment' for a spouse or partner, firing someone without notice, firing a pregnant person, emotional affairs, affairs when your spouse has dementia, quick remarriage after widowhood, and innumerable other perceived transgressions are or are not ok. we are talking about hitting kids. so please, stay on message.

Well someone brought up the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation not to spank. Hence I was saying, I don't think their opinion is valid since they are silent on the abuse of CIO. Their opinion is suspect.

Follow along, PP.

this is such a niche hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How could anyone be surprised that kids still get spanked? Way worse things happen to kids every day.

...Like child rape / sex trafficking—right under your noses.

well if i saw someone raping or trafficking a child I would certainly speak up.
a lot of terrible things happen to humans every day. somewhere on earth, someone is probably eating someone else as we speak.
still doesn't make spanking kids ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My PhD-educated, UMC dad spanked me, so let’s just go ahead and put that nonsensical anecdote to bed.

If he had a PhD I bet he didn't mistake anecdotes for data.

Lol. Don’t even know where start with this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

When they speak up about CIO then I'll give a crap what they recommend. Spanking a CHILD is not okay but letting a BABY cry itself to sleep is fine? What BS.

What? Hitting a child is physically abusive. Leaving a baby to cry itself to sleep is emotionally neglectful and manipulative but it is pretty different than hitting. I am fine with a strong anti-spanking stance and radio silence on sleep training.

side note sometimes you sleep through baby crying or are in the shower. babies cry ALL the time. not stopping babies crying instantly is not the same as actively walloping a small human.

OK, so teaching a tiny baby they can't count on their parents to take care of their needs so they might as well give up or just run out of energy crying and fall asleep is okay with you -- but you flinch at spanking. Again, what BS. CIO is abuse.

you may well be right but this is not the subject of this thread, nor are those saying spanking is not fine, saying cio is. we are also not saying killing giraffes on safari, putting electric collars on dogs, rubbing cats noses in their own poop, locking kids in their room in time out, 'the silent treatment' for a spouse or partner, firing someone without notice, firing a pregnant person, emotional affairs, affairs when your spouse has dementia, quick remarriage after widowhood, and innumerable other perceived transgressions are or are not ok. we are talking about hitting kids. so please, stay on message.

Well someone brought up the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation not to spank. Hence I was saying, I don't think their opinion is valid since they are silent on the abuse of CIO. Their opinion is suspect.

Follow along, PP.

this is such a niche hill to die on.

It's worse than spanking. Breaking a baby so the parent can get the behavior they want out of them. It's abuse and causes trauma. Just because rich women do it doesn't mean it's okay. If a crack whore left their baby to cry themselve to sleep they'd be put in foster care.

CIO is 100 x worse than spanking. Abusing a baby. Horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it makes me sad that I used to use this forum for advice and now that i know how many parents on here think spanking is cool it feels like everything else is tainted.

I agree with you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

I have one child. Yes he was spanked. Yes, his college is fully funded. No he will not need it for undergrad because he received merit aid. I think he turned out pretty damn good, spankings and all. It is too bad you do not understand logic.

Sorry parent, but you just don’t get it.

Abused children are often high and over achieving perfectionists who do incredibly well professionally. And their mad spanking parents love to take all the credit for it. When the same kids are falling apart in middle age as their own parenting journey triggers all their internalized anger from how their parents mistreated them, suddenly mad spanking parents don’t have any responsibility. If you visit the forums for parents whose kids have estranged from them, you’ll find lots of folks just like yourself who know absolutely nothing about how their children really feel about years of spanking and shaming humiliation.

Huge +1

[Anonymous]

How do you explain to your child that it's not ok for them to hit others and it's not ok for you to hit others but it's totally ok for you to hit your kid? So much for parents modeling correct behavior for their kids.

I was raised by a spanker and it was clearly because they lacked good communication and were overwhelmed (single parent) and used it as an excuse to lash out when feeling helpless. When I was spanked as a kid, I definitely became MORE likely to then lash out as others. Same for my sibling. Both of us grew up to not spank our kids (who turned out fine. Why spank when alternative discipline works just fine? It doesn't mean you don't give your kids repercussions for poor behavior).

People also make vague claims about kids today having worse behavior. It's all utter BS anecdotal crap, and my own anecdotal analysis is that the same people I know of who make such claims (often poor/less educated) did some sh*t and sometimes violent things as kids in the 80s to 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

When they speak up about CIO then I'll give a crap what they recommend. Spanking a CHILD is not okay but letting a BABY cry itself to sleep is fine? What BS.

What? Hitting a child is physically abusive. Leaving a baby to cry itself to sleep is emotionally neglectful and manipulative but it is pretty different than hitting. I am fine with a strong anti-spanking stance and radio silence on sleep training.

side note sometimes you sleep through baby crying or are in the shower. babies cry ALL the time. not stopping babies crying instantly is not the same as actively walloping a small human.

OK, so teaching a tiny baby they can't count on their parents to take care of their needs so they might as well give up or just run out of energy crying and fall asleep is okay with you -- but you flinch at spanking. Again, what BS. CIO is abuse.

you may well be right but this is not the subject of this thread, nor are those saying spanking is not fine, saying cio is. we are also not saying killing giraffes on safari, putting electric collars on dogs, rubbing cats noses in their own poop, locking kids in their room in time out, 'the silent treatment' for a spouse or partner, firing someone without notice, firing a pregnant person, emotional affairs, affairs when your spouse has dementia, quick remarriage after widowhood, and innumerable other perceived transgressions are or are not ok. we are talking about hitting kids. so please, stay on message.

Well someone brought up the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation not to spank. Hence I was saying, I don't think their opinion is valid since they are silent on the abuse of CIO. Their opinion is suspect.

Follow along, PP.

this is such a niche hill to die on.

It's worse than spanking. Breaking a baby so the parent can get the behavior they want out of them. It's abuse and causes trauma. Just because rich women do it doesn't mean it's okay. If a crack whore left their baby to cry themselve to sleep they'd be put in foster care.

CIO is 100 x worse than spanking. Abusing a baby. Horrible.

again WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT CIO.
we are also not talking about many millions of other things so stop deflecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you explain to your child that it's not ok for them to hit others and it's not ok for you to hit others but it's totally ok for you to hit your kid? So much for parents modeling correct behavior for their kids.

I was raised by a spanker and it was clearly because they lacked good communication and were overwhelmed (single parent) and used it as an excuse to lash out when feeling helpless. When I was spanked as a kid, I definitely became MORE likely to then lash out as others. Same for my sibling. Both of us grew up to not spank our kids (who turned out fine. Why spank when alternative discipline works just fine? It doesn't mean you don't give your kids repercussions for poor behavior).

People also make vague claims about kids today having worse behavior. It's all utter BS anecdotal crap, and my own anecdotal analysis is that the same people I know of who make such claims (often poor/less educated) did some sh*t and sometimes violent things as kids in the 80s to 90s.

How do you explain to your kid that it's not ok for them to take other kids' phones away but it's ok for you to take their phone/screen time away? How can parents model correct behavior when parents do things that kids cannot do?

What a dilemma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

When they speak up about CIO then I'll give a crap what they recommend. Spanking a CHILD is not okay but letting a BABY cry itself to sleep is fine? What BS.

What? Hitting a child is physically abusive. Leaving a baby to cry itself to sleep is emotionally neglectful and manipulative but it is pretty different than hitting. I am fine with a strong anti-spanking stance and radio silence on sleep training.

side note sometimes you sleep through baby crying or are in the shower. babies cry ALL the time. not stopping babies crying instantly is not the same as actively walloping a small human.

OK, so teaching a tiny baby they can't count on their parents to take care of their needs so they might as well give up or just run out of energy crying and fall asleep is okay with you -- but you flinch at spanking. Again, what BS. CIO is abuse.

you may well be right but this is not the subject of this thread, nor are those saying spanking is not fine, saying cio is. we are also not saying killing giraffes on safari, putting electric collars on dogs, rubbing cats noses in their own poop, locking kids in their room in time out, 'the silent treatment' for a spouse or partner, firing someone without notice, firing a pregnant person, emotional affairs, affairs when your spouse has dementia, quick remarriage after widowhood, and innumerable other perceived transgressions are or are not ok. we are talking about hitting kids. so please, stay on message.

Well someone brought up the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation not to spank. Hence I was saying, I don't think their opinion is valid since they are silent on the abuse of CIO. Their opinion is suspect.

Follow along, PP.

this is such a niche hill to die on.

It's worse than spanking. Breaking a baby so the parent can get the behavior they want out of them. It's abuse and causes trauma. Just because rich women do it doesn't mean it's okay. If a crack whore left their baby to cry themselve to sleep they'd be put in foster care.

CIO is 100 x worse than spanking. Abusing a baby. Horrible.

again WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT CIO.
we are also not talking about many millions of other things so stop deflecting.

again, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE ADVICE OF THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS REGARDING SPANKING. Their advice is crap because they are silent, i.e., complicit, about the suffering cause to babies by CIO.

I guess you did CIO but didn't spank, so you want to think you didn't abuse your kids but spankers did. You did abuse your kids. Don't be all holier-than-thou about anyone else's parenting if you can't even drag yourself out of bed for your own baby, for a limited amount of time. Abuser.