Sister recently said our Stepdad sexually abused her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those don’t exactly seem like reasons to not believe your sister. In fact they make the narrative more plausible to me. But obviously you know more than I do.

I personally wouldn’t risk having my kids around somebody who had been accused of sexual assault of children. It might not be fair but I just couldn’t risk it.

+2 Estrangement is a natural result of not being believed/protected in the face of sexual abuse

Women aligning with their husbands appears to be a far more common response than believing and helping their kids

Denial isn’t just a river in Africa

There is no river in Africa named “Denial.”

Lol.

The. Nile.

Yes, I understand the cliche. I am just saying it sounds better than it looks written.

Np, and I agree. The pp said it in a corny way and most people say Egypt (”ain't just a river in Egypt”).

[Anonymous]

Many kids repress sexual molestation until they have kids that are their age when it happened (or nieces/nephews). That very likely happened and is why she is just telling you now. Depression could 100% be linked to childhood trauma.

Honestly if I was married to someone who knew this information and did not share before a trip like this, I would 100% be filing for divorce. This is not information you keep to yourself. You have young children. You need to tell her. Immediately. You are not because you know she will likely pull the kids from the vacation, which is the appropriate response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many kids repress sexual molestation until they have kids that are their age when it happened (or nieces/nephews). That very likely happened and is why she is just telling you now. Depression could 100% be linked to childhood trauma.

Honestly if I was married to someone who knew this information and did not share before a trip like this, I would 100% be filing for divorce. This is not information you keep to yourself. You have young children. You need to tell her. Immediately. You are not because you know she will likely pull the kids from the vacation, which is the appropriate response.

And then he’d have the kids half the time to take on family trips.

Yes he should tell. He’s a bad person if he doesn’t. But divorce might not be the answer in a case like this. Possibly taking kids to visit family members who were never convicted of a crime, much less formally accused or charged, isn’t going to keep him from getting custody. On his days, what are you going to do to prevent him from visiting his mom, who lives with stepdad? Think it through before you start making threats or grand statements of how you’d handle it.

[Anonymous]

I keep thinking about this OP. What would I feel as a wife if he didn't tell me. Endangering the kids.

The OP didn't come back, or at least doesn't want to respond.

I really hope his sister reaches out to his wife and tells her story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you can't get your money back for the vacation shouldn't be a factor at all. I would not take the chance. If your stepdad abused your kids, how could you ever forgive yourself???

Op here. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself! But also, DW and I will both be there and our kids would never be alone with stepdad.

Have you seen the women journalists and actors who have literally been groped in a room full of people?

I can't recall the people involved, but in one well-known photo a woman said that the guy had his hand on her ass. Yuck.

How does your wife feel about this?

Bob Knight