Most annoying modern parenting lingo

[Anonymous]

"When talking about parenting, it DOES matter if I spend my days in an office away from my children, as opposed to going to spending the whole day caring for them. "

How is it any different than your DH doing the same thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
--gifted (for a preschool-aged child)
--SAHM. They don't actually stay at home but actually spend lots of time running around getting things done outside, and "mom" is what your kids call you, not what the rest of the world does
--WOHM. All parents work outside, including those who aren't paid for it. And when I'm at my job, I am not "mom." thank you very much. I am conducting business and whether I have a child is entirely irrelevant to anyone in the room or on the phone with me.

Please tell me this is a joke. The whole reason we have "work outside the home mom" is because people got their panties in a bunch over "working mom" (we ALL work!). When talking about parenting, it DOES matter if I spend my days in an office away from my children, as opposed to going to spending the whole day caring for them.

So what phrase DOESN'T offend your delicate sensibilities in making the distinction between those two categories?

The post is not about being offended; it's about being annoyed.

How about just calling people "women" or "parents?" I think that the categories are needlessly divisive. Do we call men "work outside the home dads?" No. Because over 99% of them do have a paid career. Within that huge group, there are huge variations in level of child care responsibility. They're just people, parents, men. More women choose the unpaid route, but honestly-- so what? Why is at-home so different from in the office? How many people are out of the paid work force forever? What's the difference between a woman who takes 4 months of parental leave and one who leaves the work force for three years? Is it bigger than the difference between a person with a 9-5 job five minutes commute from home and a law firm partner who works 60-hour weeks, travels a ton, commutes an hour each way?

We don't need these terms at all. They serve no one. I think that they fuel these silly mommy wars and debates, and for what? Useless and silly.

But I'm not offended, only annoyed. And I don't like being called "a mom." My mother wasn't except by me and my brother. This came into use recently and it sounds juvenile.

[Anonymous]

"And I don't like being called "a mom." My mother wasn't except by me and my brother. This came into use recently and it sounds juvenile."

Ditto. I also hate being called a "single mom".

[Anonymous]

"I just don't see why it's wonderful to use medicine to conceive but after that medical intervention of any kind is now being viewed as a horrible thing."

Interesting point but the whole natural vs intervention thing has two layers. "Intervention" in the negtaive sense has more to do with the medical professionals pushing something unnecessary than the actual mom. This doesn't occur with assisted reproduction because of the cost barriers. Its simply easier to conceive naturally if you can than spend thousands for medical intervention. While there are probably a few doctors out there who love to make an extra buck on this, the patients are not walking in door unless natural has failed. For delivery though there is no transparency and low risk women do end up with unneccessary interventions and little, often no, real level of informed consent. The more militant natural birth advocates are to an extent a backlash against the medical establishment for these practices not other women.

[Anonymous]

"Please tell me this is a joke. The whole reason we have "work outside the home mom" is because people got their panties in a bunch over "working mom" (we ALL work!). When talking about parenting, it DOES matter if I spend my days in an office away from my children, as opposed to going to spending the whole day caring for them. "

WM is pretty much still accepted. The differentiation between WAHM or WOHM came about to reflect changes in teleworking options. This one is actually a good example of terms changing based on conditions changing rather than more emotionally charged reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heard this from a NY mom-describing the child's age as 1.6 (one point six) instead of saying eighteen months or a year and a half. Weird. Also, as a nanny, I cannot stand the word "charges"-they're not charges, they're children.

Okay, that's a little funny. Perhaps she was a math major?

I hope not - if the child was in fact 18 months, the age would be 1.5 (one point five).

[Anonymous]

"If you believe that Jimmy, at seven months old, is actually trying to paint or create art rather than just smear around whatever you set in front of him, call it an art project. "

Premeditation or intent is not necessarily a criteria for "art". Art is a large umbrella term and capability along with intent develops as the child grows. Maybe not at seven months, but young children usually around 1 and at least by 2 will begin to show great pride in what they create. Feel free to continue to be judgemental and bitchy to other moms but don't piss on your child who is proud of what they have done even if it does not meet your uninformed opinion of what art should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I just don't see why it's wonderful to use medicine to conceive but after that medical intervention of any kind is now being viewed as a horrible thing."

Interesting point but the whole natural vs intervention thing has two layers. "Intervention" in the negtaive sense has more to do with the medical professionals pushing something unnecessary than the actual mom. This doesn't occur with assisted reproduction because of the cost barriers. Its simply easier to conceive naturally if you can than spend thousands for medical intervention. While there are probably a few doctors out there who love to make an extra buck on this, the patients are not walking in door unless natural has failed. For delivery though there is no transparency and low risk women do end up with unneccessary interventions and little, often no, real level of informed consent. The more militant natural birth advocates are to an extent a backlash against the medical establishment for these practices not other women.

That's another thing. Informed consent. I know what it is. I get annoyed however with those who think that if a woman truly "understood" then she would never agree to whatever medical procedure/intervention. That implies that the women who agree are uninformed or even worse, stupid. Some women are very imformed and make the decision that is best to them. Others use the phrase "informed consent" to imply anyone who makes a decision different than theirs is somehow not informed.

So there's another one.. informed consent as it relates to birthing.

[Anonymous]

No one's talking about your two-year-old's creations... they're talking about an infant. A lot of seven-month-olds can't even roll over. They are not busy at school creating art. The only "project" they're working on is in their diaper. I am a big believer in giving your child plenty of credit in his abilities, but I'm sorry, saying a seven-month-old is working on an art project is hysterical. No offense to the seven-month-old, of course. I'm sure his work is lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one's talking about your two-year-old's creations... they're talking about an infant. A lot of seven-month-olds can't even roll over. They are not busy at school creating art. The only "project" they're working on is in their diaper. I am a big believer in giving your child plenty of credit in his abilities, but I'm sorry, saying a seven-month-old is working on an art project is hysterical. No offense to the seven-month-old, of course. I'm sure his work is lovely.

So is a SAHM just wiping asses all day, or can she say is doing activities with her baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one's talking about your two-year-old's creations... they're talking about an infant. A lot of seven-month-olds can't even roll over. They are not busy at school creating art. The only "project" they're working on is in their diaper. I am a big believer in giving your child plenty of credit in his abilities, but I'm sorry, saying a seven-month-old is working on an art project is hysterical. No offense to the seven-month-old, of course. I'm sure his work is lovely.

So is a SAHM just wiping asses all day, or can she say is doing activities with her baby?

Wiping asses all day.

[Anonymous]

"That's another thing. Informed consent. I know what it is. I get annoyed however with those who think that if a woman truly "understood" then she would never agree to whatever medical procedure/intervention. That implies that the women who agree are uninformed or even worse, stupid. Some women are very imformed and make the decision that is best to them. Others use the phrase "informed consent" to imply anyone who makes a decision different than theirs is somehow not informed.

So there's another one.. informed consent as it relates to birthing. "

Perfect example of turning around an issue aimed at medical providers back onto other women. Doctors are required to provide informed consent whether you have googled it and done your own research or not. They are not allowed to assume you know all the risks. Many women would make the exact same choices but some would not and regardless of choice the doctor was at fault for not informing the patient.

I know 3 friends who had elective or questionable c-sections without a trial of labor who were never told about the risks of multiple c-sections. Two of them only wanted to 2 kids so while they were pissed the doctor didn't say anything no harm done. The third woman wanted 4-5 kids and now after 2 c-sections is being told in her case the third would be risky and fourth out the question. She is considering a law suit.

Same thing on inductions, I know many people who scheduled elective inductions based on scheduling issues being fully encouraged by their doctor to do so without the doctor ever mentioning the higher likliehood of c-section for elective inductions. A few would have just asked for a scheduled c-section, a few would have decided not to do an induction, and some would have gone forward.

None of these women were stupid, they simply did not realize they needed to do their own medical research and not trust that their doctor would tell them what they needed to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one's talking about your two-year-old's creations... they're talking about an infant. A lot of seven-month-olds can't even roll over. They are not busy at school creating art. The only "project" they're working on is in their diaper. I am a big believer in giving your child plenty of credit in his abilities, but I'm sorry, saying a seven-month-old is working on an art project is hysterical. No offense to the seven-month-old, of course. I'm sure his work is lovely.

So is a SAHM just wiping asses all day, or can she say is doing activities with her baby?

Working on a bowel project, perhaps? I don't know. Apparently there are a LOT of rules around this sort of thing. I had no idea. Here I was throwing words like "art" and "school" around all willy-nilly...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I loved the seven month old with art projects too! I cite it to my parents when stating why I want to move away from the craziness that is raising a family in DC. "

What is the issue with the term art projects? My babies used to fingerpaint. I would hang the picture on the wall or the fridge. Their fingerpaintings were more visually appealing than MIL's oil paint by numbers she gives us every Christmas. Project seems appropriate. The activity has a start when I set it up and a hard stop when I clean up, which is a project on its own. We don't do random free form fingerpainting throughout the house.

What phrases are OK? Would it be better to say I need to get off the phone, Jimmy is developing his visual color recognition skills, tactile sensations, and fine motor skills by manipulating liquid washable pigments? Should I not look for fingerpaints under the art supply aisle at the store anymore? Or is OK to say art project since I don't use daycare?

I call it "playing with fingerpaint." Throwing out "developing his [fill in the blank] skills" only cements the fact that you don't get it.

Can I call it "art" if I do so ironically? Maybe I can use air quotes. I'll be sure not to let the child think he's done anything.

Only in your crazy world is "playing" not considered "doing anything" constructive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I loved the seven month old with art projects too! I cite it to my parents when stating why I want to move away from the craziness that is raising a family in DC. "

What is the issue with the term art projects? My babies used to fingerpaint. I would hang the picture on the wall or the fridge. Their fingerpaintings were more visually appealing than MIL's oil paint by numbers she gives us every Christmas. Project seems appropriate. The activity has a start when I set it up and a hard stop when I clean up, which is a project on its own. We don't do random free form fingerpainting throughout the house.

What phrases are OK? Would it be better to say I need to get off the phone, Jimmy is developing his visual color recognition skills, tactile sensations, and fine motor skills by manipulating liquid washable pigments? Should I not look for fingerpaints under the art supply aisle at the store anymore? Or is OK to say art project since I don't use daycare?

I call it "playing with fingerpaint." Throwing out "developing his [fill in the blank] skills" only cements the fact that you don't get it.

Can I call it "art" if I do so ironically? Maybe I can use air quotes. I'll be sure not to let the child think he's done anything.

Only in your crazy world is "playing" not considered "doing anything" constructive.

...says a poster who thinks it matters that one not call a child's fingerpainting "art." Got it.