Most annoying modern parenting lingo

[Anonymous]

Here I was throwing words like "art" and "school" around all willy-nilly...

Well, you are obviously a HUGE part of the problem. There are very specific situations in which these words may be used. To do otherwise is to risk annoying someone who knows better than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"That's another thing. Informed consent. I know what it is. I get annoyed however with those who think that if a woman truly "understood" then she would never agree to whatever medical procedure/intervention. That implies that the women who agree are uninformed or even worse, stupid. Some women are very imformed and make the decision that is best to them. Others use the phrase "informed consent" to imply anyone who makes a decision different than theirs is somehow not informed.

So there's another one.. informed consent as it relates to birthing. "

Perfect example of turning around an issue aimed at medical providers back onto other women. Doctors are required to provide informed consent whether you have googled it and done your own research or not. They are not allowed to assume you know all the risks. Many women would make the exact same choices but some would not and regardless of choice the doctor was at fault for not informing the patient.

I know 3 friends who had elective or questionable c-sections without a trial of labor who were never told about the risks of multiple c-sections. Two of them only wanted to 2 kids so while they were pissed the doctor didn't say anything no harm done. The third woman wanted 4-5 kids and now after 2 c-sections is being told in her case the third would be risky and fourth out the question. She is considering a law suit.

Same thing on inductions, I know many people who scheduled elective inductions based on scheduling issues being fully encouraged by their doctor to do so without the doctor ever mentioning the higher likliehood of c-section for elective inductions. A few would have just asked for a scheduled c-section, a few would have decided not to do an induction, and some would have gone forward.

None of these women were stupid, they simply did not realize they needed to do their own medical research and not trust that their doctor would tell them what they needed to know.

Oh please. If these women are not stupid, then presumably they know how to ask "are there risks with multiple c-sections?" The relationship with your OB/GYN is a 2 way street. Give an take. Questions and answeres. If you're not doing that, some of the culpability is on you.

[Anonymous]

It takes a village.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

One of the previous posters posted an example schedule for a two year old trying to make the point that circle time, story time, an artsy craft project, learning a few letters, play, nap, lunch etc were not school. Think back for a second and you'll realize that this was what kindergarten classes used to be like 30-40 years ago.

...Except that two-year-olds don't go to kindergarten. Why not? Because they are too young for school!

There was a thread some months back and someone claimed that at their "school" [daycare center!], their seven-month-old did "art projects." It still makes me laugh when I think about it.

Our daycare does "art projects" with the infants - I admire the staff for having the patience to make little paint handprints and whatnot with six babies. While I do realize my daughter's participation in making it was pretty minimal, I still love the teeny handprint turkey they sent home with her just before Thanksgiving.

Before my daughter was born, I thought it was weird when coworkers said school instead of daycare and teachers instead of caregivers, and I would have agreed with the PPs who said that terminology was partly to make themselves feel better with sending their kids to daycare...and now I find myself saying the same things, mostly because it's the language the staff and other parents use. Three of the five classrooms at the center our baby attends are for preschool-aged children, so it does make sense to me that the center is often referred to as school - since it is school for most of the children there. There may not be much teaching or formal schooling going on in my daughter's room, but I'm thankful to have such kind, competent caregivers look after her while we're at work, and if they want to be called teachers, I'm happy to go along. It would feel awfully petty to correct them and say "you know you're not really a teacher, right?"

[Anonymous]

"Anonymous wrote:
"That's another thing. Informed consent. I know what it is. I get annoyed however with those who think that if a woman truly "understood" then she would never agree to whatever medical procedure/intervention. That implies that the women who agree are uninformed or even worse, stupid. Some women are very imformed and make the decision that is best to them. Others use the phrase "informed consent" to imply anyone who makes a decision different than theirs is somehow not informed.

So there's another one.. informed consent as it relates to birthing. "

Perfect example of turning around an issue aimed at medical providers back onto other women. Doctors are required to provide informed consent whether you have googled it and done your own research or not. They are not allowed to assume you know all the risks. Many women would make the exact same choices but some would not and regardless of choice the doctor was at fault for not informing the patient.

I know 3 friends who had elective or questionable c-sections without a trial of labor who were never told about the risks of multiple c-sections. Two of them only wanted to 2 kids so while they were pissed the doctor didn't say anything no harm done. The third woman wanted 4-5 kids and now after 2 c-sections is being told in her case the third would be risky and fourth out the question. She is considering a law suit.

Same thing on inductions, I know many people who scheduled elective inductions based on scheduling issues being fully encouraged by their doctor to do so without the doctor ever mentioning the higher likliehood of c-section for elective inductions. A few would have just asked for a scheduled c-section, a few would have decided not to do an induction, and some would have gone forward.

None of these women were stupid, they simply did not realize they needed to do their own medical research and not trust that their doctor would tell them what they needed to know.


Oh please. If these women are not stupid, then presumably they know how to ask "are there risks with multiple c-sections?" The relationship with your OB/GYN is a 2 way street. Give an take. Questions and answeres. If you're not doing that, some of the culpability is on you. "

OMG are your serious? When I see me doctor 'I don't feel that I need to ask have you really told me all the risks, what are holding back from me?' nor do I want to HAVE to scour all the medical literature to see what the evidence based studies show.

[Anonymous]

Is WAHM the same as SAHM? Or is WAHM mean you get paid to work for a job, but you telecommute or work out of a home office (and you're a mom)?

Just wondering...

[Anonymous]

I think the context of the original "art project" comment has been lost. It was in another thread, a long time ago, and someone was bragging about her daycare center and how wonderful it is. Now, it probably IS wonderful, but she didn't do her cause any favors by saying that one reason it was so great was because her seven-month-old was doing art projects. No one's saying that fingerpainting is stupid or that you shouldn't play with your kid. It was just a funny (to me, a very funny) way of phrasing things.

[Anonymous]

OK if housewife or SAHM is not descriptive enough, how about kept woman? Its accurate. Unless you had alot of money from inheritance or other means or are on welfare, you are are being taken care of financially by your spouse or partner.

[Anonymous]

I've really enjoyed this thread. Some of it has been thought-provoking.

I wanted to add on to the "mommy" third person thing. I don't think it's a huge problem to do it when talking to your children (though I don't think it's truly necessary). However, it drives me crazy when my husband (DH, hee hee) calls me that, especially when it's not related to our child . . . "Does Mommy want a backrub?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Here I was throwing words like "art" and "school" around all willy-nilly...

Well, you are obviously a HUGE part of the problem. There are very specific situations in which these words may be used. To do otherwise is to risk annoying someone who knows better than you.

We need some kind of AP Style Guide for this sort of thing - a parenting lingo style guide, so I can look up the proper usage of these words.

[Anonymous]

OK if housewife or SAHM is not descriptive enough, how about kept woman? Its accurate. Unless you had alot of money from inheritance or other means or are on welfare, you are are being taken care of financially by your spouse or partner.

No one said neither was descriptive enough, only that "housewife" isn't any more accurate than "stay-at-home mom," so need to prefer the former over the latter. Way to go with the meanspiritedness, though. You are one of the reasons that this site degenerates into name-calling and that the so-called "mommy wars" exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I loved the seven month old with art projects too! I cite it to my parents when stating why I want to move away from the craziness that is raising a family in DC. "

What is the issue with the term art projects? My babies used to fingerpaint. I would hang the picture on the wall or the fridge. Their fingerpaintings were more visually appealing than MIL's oil paint by numbers she gives us every Christmas. Project seems appropriate. The activity has a start when I set it up and a hard stop when I clean up, which is a project on its own. We don't do random free form fingerpainting throughout the house.

What phrases are OK? Would it be better to say I need to get off the phone, Jimmy is developing his visual color recognition skills, tactile sensations, and fine motor skills by manipulating liquid washable pigments? Should I not look for fingerpaints under the art supply aisle at the store anymore? Or is OK to say art project since I don't use daycare?

I call it "playing with fingerpaint." Throwing out "developing his [fill in the blank] skills" only cements the fact that you don't get it.

Can I call it "art" if I do so ironically? Maybe I can use air quotes. I'll be sure not to let the child think he's done anything.

Only in your crazy world is "playing" not considered "doing anything" constructive.

...says a poster who thinks it matters that one not call a child's fingerpainting "art." Got it.

I don't think it MATTERS, but I do think it is FUNNY.

[Anonymous]

"...says a poster who thinks it matters that one not call a child's fingerpainting "art." Got it."

It "matters"?? Why on earth does it matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK if housewife or SAHM is not descriptive enough, how about kept woman? Its accurate. Unless you had alot of money from inheritance or other means or are on welfare, you are are being taken care of financially by your spouse or partner.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"...says a poster who thinks it matters that one not call a child's fingerpainting "art." Got it."

It "matters"?? Why on earth does it matter?

It doesn't, at all. That's my point.