Men in your 50s, do you find women in their 50s attractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having written this I guess this thread is about women over fifty but frankly if you are willing to date divorced men with kids there seems to be plenty of availability.

I just turned 48 and my only child is 20 and away at college. I would much, much prefer to date a 60 plus guy whose kids are grown than another 50 year old who still has kids that live with him most or all of the time.

And I'm the 61 year old guy who dates women in their 40s. Some with children but not toddlers, some who never had children (I don't get along as well with them). They typically have older teens or young adults maybe still living with them while mine are long out of the house. They are looking for a good relationship with a man who has time to devote to her and isn't looking for her mother his children, or deal with XW issues. At the same time, she isn't looking for a new daddy for her kids, or another guy to marry and support them while she quits working. It's more of a real relationship than most I read about here.

Is that because at your age, you're looking for a second mommy who will take care of you and wipe your little bottom? The childless women won't put up with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having written this I guess this thread is about women over fifty but frankly if you are willing to date divorced men with kids there seems to be plenty of availability.

I just turned 48 and my only child is 20 and away at college. I would much, much prefer to date a 60 plus guy whose kids are grown than another 50 year old who still has kids that live with him most or all of the time.

My actual experience, as a 50-something divorced man who still has custody of kids, is that much younger women do not mind that at all.

But, looks like I'll miss out on dating this 48-yo DCUM harpy. Too bad, so sad!

Er, what man uses this phrase? You have given yourself away as a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m an over 50 woman who is attractive, but clearly my age. If a man isn’t into me, I’m really fine and prefer if he moves along. That comment is to you 61 y.o. Guy dating 35 year olds. Really, I have no interest in you. I have to wonder about men who complain their first wife cut off sex. There are usually two sides to that story, and it raises red flags to me. I’m widowed from a good marriage that was not sexless or affectionless. Anyway, you can get through a lot with really good girlfriends. I’ve enjoyed keeping company with very pleasant, accomplished gentlemen around my age, and I’m not looking for a replacement spouse. There are a ton of women who are younger than me and more attractive than me. So what?

That's me, but I didn't say I date 35 year olds. At the same time, I wouldn't exclude one should it happen, but I don't think that would work out well in the long run. I said I date women in their 40s and, truth be told, that's more late 40s. I don't exclude 50s either but the pickings are slim and saying that is what has so many riled up, but I was just answering the OPs question honestly. So my target is really about 15 years younger, plus/minus. I still don't understand what is so shocking about that.

Like you, I'm not looking for a replacement spouse. I'm dating and enjoying life.

DP..no, that is not what you stated up thread. You said you date 40 yr old women, and we 40 something yr old women have been telling you that most 40 yr old women, not late 40's, but 40, wouldn't date a 61 yr old unless you were either rich, younger than you look/good looking, or they are desperate.

And no one is *shocked* that a 61 yr old man would want to date a younger more attractive woman. But you seem to be *shocked* that many 40 yr old women wouldn't want to date you unless for the reasons stated. Like you said, there are slim pickings out there, even more so for 40 yr old women. Hence, some are willing to widen the age pool. That's called desperation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having written this I guess this thread is about women over fifty but frankly if you are willing to date divorced men with kids there seems to be plenty of availability.

I just turned 48 and my only child is 20 and away at college. I would much, much prefer to date a 60 plus guy whose kids are grown than another 50 year old who still has kids that live with him most or all of the time.

My actual experience, as a 50-something divorced man who still has custody of kids, is that much younger women do not mind that at all.

But, looks like I'll miss out on dating this 48-yo DCUM harpy. Too bad, so sad!

They mind. They are just desperate. Slim pickings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having written this I guess this thread is about women over fifty but frankly if you are willing to date divorced men with kids there seems to be plenty of availability.

I just turned 48 and my only child is 20 and away at college. I would much, much prefer to date a 60 plus guy whose kids are grown than another 50 year old who still has kids that live with him most or all of the time.

My actual experience, as a 50-something divorced man who still has custody of kids, is that much younger women do not mind that at all.

But, looks like I'll miss out on dating this 48-yo DCUM harpy. Too bad, so sad!

They mind. They are just desperate. Slim pickings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m an over 50 woman who is attractive, but clearly my age. If a man isn’t into me, I’m really fine and prefer if he moves along. That comment is to you 61 y.o. Guy dating 35 year olds. Really, I have no interest in you. I have to wonder about men who complain their first wife cut off sex. There are usually two sides to that story, and it raises red flags to me. I’m widowed from a good marriage that was not sexless or affectionless. Anyway, you can get through a lot with really good girlfriends. I’ve enjoyed keeping company with very pleasant, accomplished gentlemen around my age, and I’m not looking for a replacement spouse. There are a ton of women who are younger than me and more attractive than me. So what?

That's me, but I didn't say I date 35 year olds. At the same time, I wouldn't exclude one should it happen, but I don't think that would work out well in the long run. I said I date women in their 40s and, truth be told, that's more late 40s. I don't exclude 50s either but the pickings are slim and saying that is what has so many riled up, but I was just answering the OPs question honestly. So my target is really about 15 years younger, plus/minus. I still don't understand what is so shocking about that.

Like you, I'm not looking for a replacement spouse. I'm dating and enjoying life.

DP..no, that is not what you stated up thread. You said you date 40 yr old women, and we 40 something yr old women have been telling you that most 40 yr old women, not late 40's, but 40, wouldn't date a 61 yr old unless you were either rich, younger than you look/good looking, or they are desperate.

And no one is *shocked* that a 61 yr old man would want to date a younger more attractive woman. But you seem to be *shocked* that many 40 yr old women wouldn't want to date you unless for the reasons stated. Like you said, there are slim pickings out there, even more so for 40 yr old women. Hence, some are willing to widen the age pool. That's called desperation.

Nope, from 2/10 at 2:10 this is what I said on my first post in this thread, then repeated, many times:
61 yo man. Sorry but 40s is the age I look to date. Very few woman I've seen hold up well into their 50s and past menopause.

I'm not shocked at all that a woman in her 40s doesn't want a man 10-20 years older. It's logical that probably most of them don't. I'll concede that. I'm just shocked at the disbelief of so many of you that when it does happen, it's doesn't mean the woman is crazy, desperate, or found herself a sugar daddy. Some of you are really bashing woman who don't fit your narrow beliefs about what makes a good relationship, and that's sad to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Having written this I guess this thread is about women over fifty but frankly if you are willing to date divorced men with kids there seems to be plenty of availability.

I just turned 48 and my only child is 20 and away at college. I would much, much prefer to date a 60 plus guy whose kids are grown than another 50 year old who still has kids that live with him most or all of the time.

And I'm the 61 year old guy who dates women in their 40s. Some with children but not toddlers, some who never had children (I don't get along as well with them). They typically have older teens or young adults maybe still living with them while mine are long out of the house. They are looking for a good relationship with a man who has time to devote to her and isn't looking for her mother his children, or deal with XW issues. At the same time, she isn't looking for a new daddy for her kids, or another guy to marry and support them while she quits working. It's more of a real relationship than most I read about here.

Is that because at your age, you're looking for a second mommy who will take care of you and wipe your little bottom? The childless women won't put up with that?

Something is really wrong with you but hey, if that's your fetish, there are other boards where you can find like minded people. I probably shouldn't judge you.

No, it's because I raised children of my own. In doing so, I find that is a huge difference relating to someone who hasn't had children. There is just a lot they don't understand so I like to have that in common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m an over 50 woman who is attractive, but clearly my age. If a man isn’t into me, I’m really fine and prefer if he moves along. That comment is to you 61 y.o. Guy dating 35 year olds. Really, I have no interest in you. I have to wonder about men who complain their first wife cut off sex. There are usually two sides to that story, and it raises red flags to me. I’m widowed from a good marriage that was not sexless or affectionless. Anyway, you can get through a lot with really good girlfriends. I’ve enjoyed keeping company with very pleasant, accomplished gentlemen around my age, and I’m not looking for a replacement spouse. There are a ton of women who are younger than me and more attractive than me. So what?

This right here is why as an "accomplished" 50s divorced man I prefer women closer to 40 or under 40. I posted earlier about how the women in their 50s, while many have many attractive traits, they don't seem interested as much in throwing their emotions into a connection. I don't want to just "keep company" with someone. I might not have found my next "keeper" but I can tell that when do, it is likely not going to be a woman in her 50s who is just looking for casual companionship who would be just as happy to hang with her girlfriends. Some of us guys want that "all in" feeling still.

[Anonymous]

This thread is truly nasty even for DCUM standards. Seething with bitterness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m an over 50 woman who is attractive, but clearly my age. If a man isn’t into me, I’m really fine and prefer if he moves along. That comment is to you 61 y.o. Guy dating 35 year olds. Really, I have no interest in you. I have to wonder about men who complain their first wife cut off sex. There are usually two sides to that story, and it raises red flags to me. I’m widowed from a good marriage that was not sexless or affectionless. Anyway, you can get through a lot with really good girlfriends. I’ve enjoyed keeping company with very pleasant, accomplished gentlemen around my age, and I’m not looking for a replacement spouse. There are a ton of women who are younger than me and more attractive than me. So what?

This right here is why as an "accomplished" 50s divorced man I prefer women closer to 40 or under 40. I posted earlier about how the women in their 50s, while many have many attractive traits, they don't seem interested as much in throwing their emotions into a connection. I don't want to just "keep company" with someone. I might not have found my next "keeper" but I can tell that when do, it is likely not going to be a woman in her 50s who is just looking for casual companionship who would be just as happy to hang with her girlfriends. Some of us guys want that "all in" feeling still.

You don't sound the least bit deluded. I could have written this in my 50s. Have you found that the women you are dating in that age range are all desperate, or just after your money?

The all-in feeling of wanting a real, close relationship is a big factor in going younger, not just looks. I agree, in their 50s, a lot of women are just not that into having that kind of relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m an over 50 woman who is attractive, but clearly my age. If a man isn’t into me, I’m really fine and prefer if he moves along. That comment is to you 61 y.o. Guy dating 35 year olds. Really, I have no interest in you. I have to wonder about men who complain their first wife cut off sex. There are usually two sides to that story, and it raises red flags to me. I’m widowed from a good marriage that was not sexless or affectionless. Anyway, you can get through a lot with really good girlfriends. I’ve enjoyed keeping company with very pleasant, accomplished gentlemen around my age, and I’m not looking for a replacement spouse. There are a ton of women who are younger than me and more attractive than me. So what?

How many cats do you own? 2 or 3?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m an over 50 woman who is attractive, but clearly my age. If a man isn’t into me, I’m really fine and prefer if he moves along. That comment is to you 61 y.o. Guy dating 35 year olds. Really, I have no interest in you. I have to wonder about men who complain their first wife cut off sex. There are usually two sides to that story, and it raises red flags to me. I’m widowed from a good marriage that was not sexless or affectionless. Anyway, you can get through a lot with really good girlfriends. I’ve enjoyed keeping company with very pleasant, accomplished gentlemen around my age, and I’m not looking for a replacement spouse. There are a ton of women who are younger than me and more attractive than me. So what?

That's me, but I didn't say I date 35 year olds. At the same time, I wouldn't exclude one should it happen, but I don't think that would work out well in the long run. I said I date women in their 40s and, truth be told, that's more late 40s. I don't exclude 50s either but the pickings are slim and saying that is what has so many riled up, but I was just answering the OPs question honestly. So my target is really about 15 years younger, plus/minus. I still don't understand what is so shocking about that.

Like you, I'm not looking for a replacement spouse. I'm dating and enjoying life.

DP..no, that is not what you stated up thread. You said you date 40 yr old women, and we 40 something yr old women have been telling you that most 40 yr old women, not late 40's, but 40, wouldn't date a 61 yr old unless you were either rich, younger than you look/good looking, or they are desperate.

And no one is *shocked* that a 61 yr old man would want to date a younger more attractive woman. But you seem to be *shocked* that many 40 yr old women wouldn't want to date you unless for the reasons stated. Like you said, there are slim pickings out there, even more so for 40 yr old women. Hence, some are willing to widen the age pool. That's called desperation.

Nope, from 2/10 at 2:10 this is what I said on my first post in this thread, then repeated, many times:
61 yo man. Sorry but 40s is the age I look to date. Very few woman I've seen hold up well into their 50s and past menopause.

I'm not shocked at all that a woman in her 40s doesn't want a man 10-20 years older. It's logical that probably most of them don't. I'll concede that. I'm just shocked at the disbelief of so many of you that when it does happen, it's doesn't mean the woman is crazy, desperate, or found herself a sugar daddy. Some of you are really bashing woman who don't fit your narrow beliefs about what makes a good relationship, and that's sad to me.

I'll concede that .01% of women in their 40's would date a 61 yr old man without any of those reasons, but more than likely, that man has to be extra special. Again, as you noted, there are a dearth of eligible older people to date, on both sides. So when women have to expand that age pool, it's because they are getting desperate. It is a lot easier for older men because physical attributes aren't *as* important to women as they are to men. Plus it just seems there are more eligible women than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m an over 50 woman who is attractive, but clearly my age. If a man isn’t into me, I’m really fine and prefer if he moves along. That comment is to you 61 y.o. Guy dating 35 year olds. Really, I have no interest in you. I have to wonder about men who complain their first wife cut off sex. There are usually two sides to that story, and it raises red flags to me. I’m widowed from a good marriage that was not sexless or affectionless. Anyway, you can get through a lot with really good girlfriends. I’ve enjoyed keeping company with very pleasant, accomplished gentlemen around my age, and I’m not looking for a replacement spouse. There are a ton of women who are younger than me and more attractive than me. So what?

This right here is why as an "accomplished" 50s divorced man I prefer women closer to 40 or under 40. I posted earlier about how the women in their 50s, while many have many attractive traits, they don't seem interested as much in throwing their emotions into a connection. I don't want to just "keep company" with someone. I might not have found my next "keeper" but I can tell that when do, it is likely not going to be a woman in her 50s who is just looking for casual companionship who would be just as happy to hang with her girlfriends. Some of us guys want that "all in" feeling still.

You don't sound the least bit deluded. I could have written this in my 50s. Have you found that the women you are dating in that age range are all desperate, or just after your money?

The all-in feeling of wanting a real, close relationship is a big factor in going younger, not just looks. I agree, in their 50s, a lot of women are just not that into having that kind of relationship.

I'm thinking maybe it's because so many of those women have experienced soul sucking relationships, and they are hesitant to get into another one. I'm not such a person, btw. I'm happily married, but my sister, in her 50's, I think feels this way. Her ex was a loser in so many ways - drugs, irresponsible, etc..

[Anonymous]

Short answer to original question is not very often. Some attraction is related to attitude, and confidence, and older women have that more than younger women. But younger women have tighter, leaner, firmer bodies. Just a fact...

[Anonymous]

Some men feel threatened by a mature, confident woman who shrugs off a man who's not attracted to her. It doesn't mean she's incapable of an intense, in-love relationship. It means she's not desperate, and she doesn't care about your approval. Mind-boggling concept to some men.