Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there an outdoor grill you can use? Can you feed your kids outside on a picnic table for some meals or is it expected (required) all meals eaten together every time?

There is no such thing as "required" to eat together. OP and her husband can choose when/where/what to feed their kids. Bring a big blanket and you have an instant "picnic table" anywhere. Buy a cooler and keep it in your room, along with paper plates and plasticware. Feed them real food, a few GF foods they should be willing to at least TRY, and some non-GF food from the cooler, eaten off paper plates outside.

THIS IS NOT THAT HARD TO FIGURE OUT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went gluten free for awhile (elimination diet) It was also expensive.
Shouldn't this thread be moved to SN? After all, OP is being asked to completely change her family's cooking and diet for a "vacation" and a "possible" contamination issue. I think many of the posters are forgetting what travelling with young children is like. Kids do not always love travelling and tend to cling to the familiar and be fussy. And BTW, my kids just returned from overseas and yes, they brought their own PB&J with them. It saves on high overseas costs and availability. It was not their favorite food, but that what they ate. However, they are not 4 years old.

OP doesn't cook.

OP microwaves Kraft Mac N Cheese and Tyson's Chicken Wings for Aden and Grace because they can't eat anything that isn't processed.

Are you in her home to know this? BTW, Kraft has organic mac and cheese now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really sad for your family OP. And the family of some of these PPs. You would really cancel your vacation, or significantly ruin your vacation, over food? Are you serious?
...
I can't believe some of the posters. You would really not visit your family if they had to deal with this? Are you kidding? That is INSANE!

I'm a PP. Nope, nope, and nope.

I wouldn't cancel or ruin my vacation, and I wouldn't refuse to visit my family. I'd improve everyone's vacation by modifying this impending rollercoaster ride of fun and excitement into something less drama-filled and more intimate. Some place and time with more inherent flexibility and less stress, so that no family involved had to max out on their stress points for the year.

That's for everyone's benefit, not just my family's.

YMMV, of course. I am totally okay with not yelling at you about it.

Hey, OP -- you're doing great. It's nice to see someone hold their cool in the middle of a 15 page event. Well done.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if the vacation might go off better if the food was kept separate and OP had more time to be compassionate with her family instead of learning new cooking methods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am really sad for your family OP. And the family of some of these PPs. You would really cancel your vacation, or significantly ruin your vacation, over food? Are you serious?
...
I can't believe some of the posters. You would really not visit your family if they had to deal with this? Are you kidding? That is INSANE!

I'm a PP. Nope, nope, and nope.

I wouldn't cancel or ruin my vacation, and I wouldn't refuse to visit my family. I'd improve everyone's vacation by modifying this impending rollercoaster ride of fun and excitement into something less drama-filled and more intimate. Some place and time with more inherent flexibility and less stress, so that no family involved had to max out on their stress points for the year.

That's for everyone's benefit, not just my family's.

YMMV, of course. I am totally okay with not yelling at you about it.

Hey, OP -- you're doing great. It's nice to see someone hold their cool in the middle of a 15 page event. Well done.

The fact that this maxes out your stress points for the year really proves the point. There are a LOT more stressful things than changing eating habits for 5 days...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mass hysteria over food allergies is just insane. I say this as a mom whose child has a peanut/tree nut allergy. I was hysterical for the first year thinking my kid could die at any moment. Then I really looked at the number of deaths due to food allergies and it is minuscule. The numbers of deaths you find on food allergy websites aren't accurate. More people are dying from insect stings and lightening strikes.
I refuse to believe the 2 year old is so sensitive to gluten that you can't prepare food in the same kitchen if you use paper plates and some Clorox wipes to clean up crumbs. There is no way he could ever go to preschool, the park, a zoo, etc.

Celiac isn't an allergy.

If a person has celiac, they can't process gluten, which is a type of protein found in wheat products. It damages the lining of their intestines causing malabsorption, malnutrition, muscle aches and joint pain, exhaustion, failure to thrive in kids, painful gut cramping, gas, bloating and diarrhea/constipation. Some people with celiac can take a little bit of cross-contamination without too much trouble. Many people with celiac get terrible symptoms from even a minute gluten exposure.

Why would you advocate doing that to a two year old?

Post a link to a peer reviewed medical journal that indicates minute exposure to gluten causes terrible symptoms. If that were the case, a child would have to live in a bubble and never attend school, go to a park or visit a store. There are crumbs and flour dust all over. It is reasonable not to eat bread products in the presence of the 2 year old so he doesn't feel excluded but to not allow a crumb to touch a kitchen counter when the 2 year old is napping is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The fact that this maxes out your stress points for the year really proves the point. There are a LOT more stressful things than changing eating habits for 5 days...

Ahahahha

Darlin', this is so not about the food.

That's ok -- like I said, YMMV, and I am okay with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone can stop offering solutions. Eleven pages of solutions. But OP doesn't really want solutions.

OP here and hold on, this isn't fair. I think you are confusing me with other posters. My original question was what if anything I could ask for reasonably and I have only chimed in since then to add facts (e.g., explain why we can't use the kitchenette without displacing BIL and SIL from that cabin and that we will be too remote to stay in a hotel or sneak out to McDs every couple days) and to mention that I have previously dealt with the picky eating by bring food for my kids, which I would willingly do this time and keep my mouth shut if there were a place I could keep that food and feed it to my kids (as the educated celiac-ers on this thread have noted, cross contamination is a big issue, so it isn't 'keep the pb & j in your room,' it is 'no bread in the house'). I haven't been nixing the suggestions given.

In fact, I have been taking notes about brands and even tried some of them tonight (Bell and Evans nuggets were a definite no. Annie's Mac was OK, not great. And Udis bread I could not get past myself, let alone my kids!). Please keep them coming!

And I have decided that if my good faith efforts to figure out how to feed my kids GF for 5 days doesn't pan out, I am not unreasonable to ask the parents for an accommodation but give them the choice of what it is (switching cabins, labeling our food clearly and using paper plates, permission to use microwave, etc). I think PPs who pointed out that Grandma may be the driving factor here may be right.

In other words, I have learned that while I should do my best to accommodate them, I am not the only mom out there who thinks it is too much to ask of us on our vacation to have our kids (the younger one is 4, BTW, so not exactly old enough to have empathy toward his 2yo cousin) not be able to eat any of the foods they typically eat for 5 days. Hungry kids away from home in a different time zone is not a vacation.

Thanks to all. I will continue to take GF suggestions for bread, pasta and nuggets (will try applegate next). And yes, I will report back

I think this will be a good learning experience for you and your kids. Sounds like your family needs it.

Why not just some time in the stocks, if they "need" some chastening to become better people/better parents? Sounds like lots of posters on this thread think we should go back to Puritan justice. Glad you get to be judge and jury.

[Anonymous]

It's a lot easier then you think. Stroll done the GF isle of your market and pick up some replacement products. You will find everything you need there. Go out to lunch/dinner alone as a family for pizza/sandwiches etc. it'll be a nice break from envy thing else. You will be fine. Sounds like your more upset about not getting the guest cottage then the food issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a lot easier then you think. Stroll done the GF isle of your market and pick up some replacement products. You will find everything you need there. Go out to lunch/dinner alone as a family for pizza/sandwiches etc. it'll be a nice break from envy thing else. You will be fine. Sounds like your more upset about not getting the guest cottage then the food issues.

No, I think the OP said there are not restaurant or food supply options close by. Sounds like it would be at least 3 hours drive there and back, plus mealtime. I imagine that this would be hard to work without the rest of the family feeling uncomfortable that they left for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is not what you want to hear but here goes. Why are you allowing your 4 year old to have such a limited diet? Kids learn from their homes. Forget the gluten issue. Fill you home with a variety of good food, and keep presenting it. Your kids will eat more than chicken nuggets soon enough. Unless they have a rare disorder, your children will not starve themselves if you give them different foods on a consistent basis. It would also help if you and your DH ate differently, and served everyone one meal. Don't serve kid meals. Unless, god forbid, you are also eating chicken nuggets. You do realize that the nutritional value of food out of a package is not very high, right?

OP here - people parent differently and I totally disagree with you. My older one used to be like his little brother but little by little he has gotten more open minded and we are encouraging him without forcing him. I believe my LO will too over time, so this is just a battle I choose not to fight at this age, esp. While on 'vacation' when other stressors are present.

You realize the diet your child eats before he (or she) is 5 is the diet that will set them up for life. Most likely - you will a child with life long eating disorders and probably obesity. Be a parent - not a friend.

This is BS- OP is doing just fine! My oldest was the same way as a young kid- very picky (yes, we also brought a jar of peanut butter with us on a trip to Europe). All along we encouraged her to try new things but did not force. She's now 11 and eats pretty much anything. Last week we had mussels and soft shell crabs. Sushi is one of her favorites. I was the same way as a kid and eventually grew out of it, too. No eating disorders or obesity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is not what you want to hear but here goes. Why are you allowing your 4 year old to have such a limited diet? Kids learn from their homes. Forget the gluten issue. Fill you home with a variety of good food, and keep presenting it. Your kids will eat more than chicken nuggets soon enough. Unless they have a rare disorder, your children will not starve themselves if you give them different foods on a consistent basis. It would also help if you and your DH ate differently, and served everyone one meal. Don't serve kid meals. Unless, god forbid, you are also eating chicken nuggets. You do realize that the nutritional value of food out of a package is not very high, right?

OP here - people parent differently and I totally disagree with you. My older one used to be like his little brother but little by little he has gotten more open minded and we are encouraging him without forcing him. I believe my LO will too over time, so this is just a battle I choose not to fight at this age, esp. While on 'vacation' when other stressors are present.

You realize the diet your child eats before he (or she) is 5 is the diet that will set them up for life. Most likely - you will a child with life long eating disorders and probably obesity. Be a parent - not a friend.

This is BS- OP is doing just fine! My oldest was the same way as a young kid- very picky (yes, we also brought a jar of peanut butter with us on a trip to Europe). All along we encouraged her to try new things but did not force. She's now 11 and eats pretty much anything. Last week we had mussels and soft shell crabs. Sushi is one of her favorites. I was the same way as a kid and eventually grew out of it, too. No eating disorders or obesity!

C'mon, how will PP know she's a better mommy than you if you feed your kid crap and she still turns out OK? Remember, ITS A CONTEST.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is not what you want to hear but here goes. Why are you allowing your 4 year old to have such a limited diet? Kids learn from their homes. Forget the gluten issue. Fill you home with a variety of good food, and keep presenting it. Your kids will eat more than chicken nuggets soon enough. Unless they have a rare disorder, your children will not starve themselves if you give them different foods on a consistent basis. It would also help if you and your DH ate differently, and served everyone one meal. Don't serve kid meals. Unless, god forbid, you are also eating chicken nuggets. You do realize that the nutritional value of food out of a package is not very high, right?

OP here - people parent differently and I totally disagree with you. My older one used to be like his little brother but little by little he has gotten more open minded and we are encouraging him without forcing him. I believe my LO will too over time, so this is just a battle I choose not to fight at this age, esp. While on 'vacation' when other stressors are present.

You realize the diet your child eats before he (or she) is 5 is the diet that will set them up for life. Most likely - you will a child with life long eating disorders and probably obesity. Be a parent - not a friend.

This is BS- OP is doing just fine! My oldest was the same way as a young kid- very picky (yes, we also brought a jar of peanut butter with us on a trip to Europe). All along we encouraged her to try new things but did not force. She's now 11 and eats pretty much anything. Last week we had mussels and soft shell crabs. Sushi is one of her favorites. I was the same way as a kid and eventually grew out of it, too. No eating disorders or obesity!

C'mon, how will PP know she's a better mommy than you if you feed your kid crap and she still turns out OK? Remember, ITS A CONTEST.

I ?? You, PP ?????

[Anonymous]

Gluten free processed food is mostly trash, both taste wise and nutrition wise. You're a thoughtful person OP for being open and accommodating on your vacation.

I totally wouldn't. I'm not going to sit in a cabin for a week eating crap GF food.

[Anonymous]

You sound like my SIL, OP. My children have multiple allergies, including gluten and dairy. My SIL showed up at every single family gathering with a food that my child could not eat. She'd always say, "Oh, Larla can't eat the BUTTER on the green beans?" Everyone else respected my DC's allergies and brought food she could eat. But my SIL always wanted her kids "favorites."

My child could die if she eats certain foods. Everyone in the family understands and respects this, except for SIL., who found it a total PITA to bring an allergen-free food to a family holiday celebration.

My entire family eats GF foods. There are lots that are fine. They are indistinguishable from wheat-based foods: breads, pasta, cookies, cakes, etc.

As a PP said, it's really difficult to feed a child with multiple allergies. Be grateful you only have to feed your children GF foods for a few days. You have it easy, OP. Gratitude is the key to happiness.