Who is right? Son accidentally took item - disagreement results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

Again- you don't read very well. Try it again. Sound it out.

The word stolen, by definition, requires intent. Grabbing the wrong swim suit by mistake is not stealing.

Seriously. I'm on the Jersey shore right now and I'm pretty sure I could WALK to the Target here in 15 minutes.

?

The jersey shore isn't a town, people. I assure you that you won't find a Target or a kid's swim trunks for under $40 in Stone Harbor or Avalon. And you won't pass a target on the way there. Those beach towns don't have a boardwalk---just a little Main Street with upscale shops. And the family probably planned to leave at 6am and can't hit a local target on their way out of town.

You get to the Jersey shore by driving up 95 for hours. A big box store is not hard to find and don't most people stop for stuff along the way when going on a driving vacation? Come on. You can't possibly be arguing that it is impossible to replace a Target bathing suit while driving through the mid-Atlantic States.

It is an inconvience and the whole finding a target, pulling off, finding and buying a suit will probably take 50 minutes. Why should the other mom be subjected to this inconvience but not OP? OP is clearly outsourcing her childcare (see: she didn't go to party or maybe this wouldn't have happened) so of COURSE she thinks she shouldn't have to drive anywhere.

Because that is life with kids. Her kid went to a pool party, took off his suit, didn't immediately wrap it in a towel and put it in his bag, another kid had the same suit in a different size, the suits got switched. So, on the way to the beach she stops and picks up a new one along with some extra sunscreen. While they are stopped they get some lunch. No one stresses about it and everyone has a lovely weekend.

Returning things your child accidentally takes because you choose not to be responsible for your own child and your child doesn't know how to read sizes is ALSO a part of parenting.

I guess it just comes down to how you want to live your life. Are you a person who gets wound up over little things and can't adjust to little inconveniences or are you a person who is optimistic, flexible, and able to go with the flow so that everything remains pleasant. I try to be the second type largely because my mother is the first type and it makes for a very challenging childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it was your job to return the item your son took. Your son created the problem so it is your responsibility to fix it. The fact that you have a sleeping baby has nothing to do with it.

OP should return the suit, but not on that crazy schedule. Other Mom is being too demanding and not understanding.

I'd offer to drop it off at the friend's house and they can pick it up in the morning.

This is actually the best drop off compromise to school on Monday. That is where it was taken from. You do not ask someone to drive that distance in the middle the night. She also should have checked before they left. Why did she drive home knowing the OP might have it and then demand OP drive it to her house?

[Anonymous]

One of my 3 dc (5'4 at age 10) is hard to find suits for-she only has one suit right now. I don't think that is the strange part of this story.

I feel like OP might be exaggerating the driving distances in the story.

Also, if OP is going to let her kid go to a party without being there to supervise the drop off/pick up, she is responsible for fixing his mistakes. She let another mom pick him up (a convenience for her) and wasn't there to check the suits. The inconvenience and hassle is on her. She should have met the other mom half-way at 10 pm.

(Would I have asked if I was the other mom? No. But you never know what else is going on in someone's life--maybe *her* DH was out of town, maybe the kid is a hard to fit size, maybe she is flat broke, maybe she is trying to finish up a work project before going out of town, maybe *she* has a sleeping infant...you just don't know).

[Anonymous]

If your child only has one suit, and it is THAT important, then why did you send it to a pool party the day before the trip and not check it to see if it came back? Some things are YOUR responsibility as a parent. (the probably only want that particular suit for pictures or something)

[Anonymous]

I would love to know how many times OP has posted in this thread pretending to agree with herself. I just have a feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you care what DCUM thinks?

Your child took someone's swimsuit, and you did not return it to the other person. Both these acts (your son taking something, and you not returning it in time) has already happened. Why do you need DCUM to approve or disapprove? We do not know you. The other person knows you somewhat, and she does not have a good impression of you. Worry about her impression because she knows you IRL.

I think once the crazy lady's request starts getting out there, she's going to be the one who has to worry what people think of her.

Over a bathing suit.

She sounds self-absorbed. There will be more stories, after this one, I imagine.

How can she be self-absorbed, when it wasn't her suit that was taken by mistake? I don't think there's anything crazy about asking for a stolen by accident item to be returned immediately. OP doesn't want to return it immediately, which means she should keep closer tabs on her child who takes other people's things, if she doesn't want to be doing this for the next 10 years.

Again the word stolen. The kid is 6/7 . Really you need to let it go and just enjoy your vacation.

Again- you don't read very well. Try it again. Sound it out.

The word stolen, by definition, requires intent. Grabbing the wrong swim suit by mistake is not stealing.

Seriously. I'm on the Jersey shore right now and I'm pretty sure I could WALK to the Target here in 15 minutes.

?

The jersey shore isn't a town, people. I assure you that you won't find a Target or a kid's swim trunks for under $40 in Stone Harbor or Avalon. And you won't pass a target on the way there. Those beach towns don't have a boardwalk---just a little Main Street with upscale shops. And the family probably planned to leave at 6am and can't hit a local target on their way out of town.

You get to the Jersey shore by driving up 95 for hours. A big box store is not hard to find and don't most people stop for stuff along the way when going on a driving vacation? Come on. You can't possibly be arguing that it is impossible to replace a Target bathing suit while driving through the mid-Atlantic States.

It is an inconvience and the whole finding a target, pulling off, finding and buying a suit will probably take 50 minutes. Why should the other mom be subjected to this inconvience but not OP? OP is clearly outsourcing her childcare (see: she didn't go to party or maybe this wouldn't have happened) so of COURSE she thinks she shouldn't have to drive anywhere.

Because that is life with kids. Her kid went to a pool party, took off his suit, didn't immediately wrap it in a towel and put it in his bag, another kid had the same suit in a different size, the suits got switched. So, on the way to the beach she stops and picks up a new one along with some extra sunscreen. While they are stopped they get some lunch. No one stresses about it and everyone has a lovely weekend.

Returning things your child accidentally takes because you choose not to be responsible for your own child and your child doesn't know how to read sizes is ALSO a part of parenting.

The child is six. For all we know the other mom grabbed OP swim suit, didn't look so her child took the wrong one. You are over thinking it. She is willing to return it, but not willing to drive 1-2 hours in the middle of the night. At that point, she can do a Target pick up for the other mom and buy a new suit. There is reasonable, and expecting someone to drive in the night with two young kids is not reasonable. Why is one person or a few being so unreasonable? She is not holding the swimsuit hostage and it can get returned to school on Monday.

[Anonymous]

I imagine the other mom was packing and frazzled. If OP or her had thought to just paypal money for another suit, that would have probably been fine. The conversation just got stuck on this particular suit.

Kind of curious what ended up happening last night, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two things I learned from reading this thread:

1. Thank god my kids go to charter school (private school parents sound horrible)

2. I don't think any one from DC has been to the Jersey Shore, hotels? Target? Haha.

I think the private school parents who posted made it clear that no one acts like this and this is weird behavior.

[Anonymous]

I don't think driving less than an hour somewhere with 2 kids + back is a big deal. Especially to fix my kid's mistake. Who are you princesses and how do you function in daily life?

The other mom was out of line for expecting OP to drive so far with a bathing suit but to be fair, OP did offer first and then it became awkward, like: "I would have driven the suit over but dang, not *that* far...).

[Anonymous]

Is it for sure a private school? OP didn't say. It could be a charter or one of the kids could be OOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child only has one suit, and it is THAT important, then why did you send it to a pool party the day before the trip and not check it to see if it came back? Some things are YOUR responsibility as a parent. (the probably only want that particular suit for pictures or something)

Taking your child to a party yourself or teaching them how to handle shit in your absence is also your responsibility as a parent. Guess OP missed the boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my 3 dc (5'4 at age 10) is hard to find suits for-she only has one suit right now. I don't think that is the strange part of this story.

I feel like OP might be exaggerating the driving distances in the story.

Also, if OP is going to let her kid go to a party without being there to supervise the drop off/pick up, she is responsible for fixing his mistakes. She let another mom pick him up (a convenience for her) and wasn't there to check the suits. The inconvenience and hassle is on her. She should have met the other mom half-way at 10 pm.

(Would I have asked if I was the other mom? No. But you never know what else is going on in someone's life--maybe *her* DH was out of town, maybe the kid is a hard to fit size, maybe she is flat broke, maybe she is trying to finish up a work project before going out of town, maybe *she* has a sleeping infant...you just don't know).

Yup, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child only has one suit, and it is THAT important, then why did you send it to a pool party the day before the trip and not check it to see if it came back? Some things are YOUR responsibility as a parent. (the probably only want that particular suit for pictures or something)

Taking your child to a party yourself or teaching them how to handle shit in your absence is also your responsibility as a parent. Guess OP missed the boat.

The kids are 7, still learning how to handle themselves. It's a good time to make (usually) small mistakes. Carpooling isnot a sin, nor is asking for help from others when you have a new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child only has one suit, and it is THAT important, then why did you send it to a pool party the day before the trip and not check it to see if it came back? Some things are YOUR responsibility as a parent. (the probably only want that particular suit for pictures or something)

Taking your child to a party yourself or teaching them how to handle shit in your absence is also your responsibility as a parent. Guess OP missed the boat.

The kids are 7, still learning how to handle themselves. It's a good time to make (usually) small mistakes. Carpooling isnot a sin, nor is asking for help from others when you have a new baby.

So it's the other mom's fault for not checking the swimsuit (but maybe she did - OP's kid was already gone with the other one.) But not OP's fault at all for not going or checking. Having a baby absolves you of any responsibility? It all falls on everyone else? Ok, primadonna.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my 3 dc (5'4 at age 10) is hard to find suits for-she only has one suit right now. I don't think that is the strange part of this story.

I feel like OP might be exaggerating the driving distances in the story.

Also, if OP is going to let her kid go to a party without being there to supervise the drop off/pick up, she is responsible for fixing his mistakes. She let another mom pick him up (a convenience for her) and wasn't there to check the suits. The inconvenience and hassle is on her. She should have met the other mom half-way at 10 pm.

(Would I have asked if I was the other mom? No. But you never know what else is going on in someone's life--maybe *her* DH was out of town, maybe the kid is a hard to fit size, maybe she is flat broke, maybe she is trying to finish up a work project before going out of town, maybe *she* has a sleeping infant...you just don't know).

Yup, this.

Agree. Not only did OP not teach her son how to manage his things, she wasn't there to be sure he did manage them. Her son then screws up. She offers to drive to her house to return it that night as the only remedy, which is a fine remedy if she had followed through. She never made an offer to send the money or to ship the suit to the hotel or all of the other many things that might have made this right. Then, the other mom offers to take an hour out of her evening at 10 pm when she is leaving in the early morning for vacation so as to lessen the inconvenience on OP, who is totally at fault for the problem.

I too find it odd that the mom wanted the suit returned that night. But that only makes me think that it is not such a simple issue as getting another suit on the way to the shore. That only makes it more egregious that OP didn't follow through.

I suspect that at some point OP will know exactly what the problem is because this is exactly the sort of thing that parents talk about.