Husbands with SAHMs that prefer they work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

I call complete BS that this is a man writing this. This is the woman writing about herself. hahahahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plan ahead and do your homework, girls. Don't be like me and get stuck with a loser who can't afford to keep things a float and APPRECIATE a woman playing a traditional role, if that is what you want.

I regret marrying my husband every day. I thought I was marrying for love but I was just being an idiot.

I had the total flip-flop. We always discussed me staying home with the kids when they were young and he always said yes then as things went along it became no. And we don't even have kids.
He's so cheap I cannot imagine having to rely on him to live. I would have nothing to eat and nothing to wear. He ONLY takes care of himself.

Why stay married to him then? What's emerging from all these comments is that couples define partnership in different ways. But if you feel no partnership, and there are no kids, why stay?

We're not even married. I have been with him for years and this never changed (only taking care of himself). I will probably leave him.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

Ahhh ... the irony.

How is that ironic? Do you think it is immoral that I'd rather have my children spend their formative years being cared for by someone who loves them deeply, is extremely well educated and intelligent, and thoughtful? If you need two working parents to get by, then so be it. But if you think that your children get care as good from their preschool or the nanny you found from some website or listserv, that either speaks to your delusion or the lack of better options at home.

Immoral? Nah, just elitist and myopic. It's not about money – I guarantee I could buy and sell you. It is the idea that someone who is not been afforded the same educational and life opportunities as you and your wife - and gasp! May be a different race – is somehow ill-equipped to teach morals and worldly behavior. Unless the worldview you want to promote is "don't let those poor brown hands touch my kid!"

Someone calling someone elitist while simultaneously saying "I could buy and sell you". If you represent working women I'm glad to be on the intelligent other side.

Deserved response to "if you need two incomes to get by, so be it."

What a loser.

No- not a deserved response. It's a response that clearly identifies the posters deep insecurity with their own life choices.

It's a tacky, classless thing to say, especially from someone claiming to be so happy with their own life.

Hardly. He'd definitely have come back with "sorry you're so poor you have to outsource childcare." Total racist douchebag.

I'm the previous poster you are referring to -- I think you are projecting with the racism. The preschools my kids have gone to have had largely white teachers, as far as I remember. They were fine people, but I'd much prefer my wife take care of my kids. If you feel that these preschool teachers do as good a job as either parent in your house would, I think you are delusional or are aware that you'd do a bad job raising your kids. Either way, race has nothing to do with it.

Did you, or did you not, write "minimum wage preschool teacher or uneducated nanny?"

[Anonymous]

I, for one, learned a tremendous amount from my DC's preschool teachers. Because they have degrees in child development, unlike myself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I, for one, learned a tremendous amount from my DC's preschool teachers. Because they have degrees in child development, unlike myself!

And many of us prefer to learn about our children and their needs by actually raising them. So- sounds like everyone's happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

Ahhh ... the irony.

How is that ironic? Do you think it is immoral that I'd rather have my children spend their formative years being cared for by someone who loves them deeply, is extremely well educated and intelligent, and thoughtful? If you need two working parents to get by, then so be it. But if you think that your children get care as good from their preschool or the nanny you found from some website or listserv, that either speaks to your delusion or the lack of better options at home.

Immoral? Nah, just elitist and myopic. It's not about money – I guarantee I could buy and sell you. It is the idea that someone who is not been afforded the same educational and life opportunities as you and your wife - and gasp! May be a different race – is somehow ill-equipped to teach morals and worldly behavior. Unless the worldview you want to promote is "don't let those poor brown hands touch my kid!"

Someone calling someone elitist while simultaneously saying "I could buy and sell you". If you represent working women I'm glad to be on the intelligent other side.

Deserved response to "if you need two incomes to get by, so be it."

What a loser.

No- not a deserved response. It's a response that clearly identifies the posters deep insecurity with their own life choices.

It's a tacky, classless thing to say, especially from someone claiming to be so happy with their own life.

Hardly. He'd definitely have come back with "sorry you're so poor you have to outsource childcare." Total racist douchebag.

I'm the previous poster you are referring to -- I think you are projecting with the racism. The preschools my kids have gone to have had largely white teachers, as far as I remember. They were fine people, but I'd much prefer my wife take care of my kids. If you feel that these preschool teachers do as good a job as either parent in your house would, I think you are delusional or are aware that you'd do a bad job raising your kids. Either way, race has nothing to do with it.

Did you, or did you not, write "minimum wage preschool teacher or uneducated nanny?"

Yes, I wrote that, and I explained why that has nothing to do with race.

[Anonymous]

Unless of course the person who took offense assumes that all hourly earners or uneducated people are minorities.

In which case it seems clear who the racist is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

Good for you! If people can afford it, it's the best way to go. Unfortunately some can't and are resentful, some on this board obviously.

I worked on and off but was able to stay home, loved it. Great meals made every day, house clean, bills paid, happy marriage years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

Good for you! If people can afford it, it's the best way to go. Unfortunately some can't and are resentful, some on this board obviously.

I worked on and off but was able to stay home, loved it. Great meals made every day, house clean, bills paid, happy marriage years later.

Thanks! I agree that people seem resentful, and I can see why. So far, this has been a great decision, and I just wanted to add another side to the story -- that at least one working spouse really appreciates the contribution of a stay-at-home spouse and feels that the household is much better off for it. I guess the point was derailed by my comments about childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

Ahhh ... the irony.

How is that ironic? Do you think it is immoral that I'd rather have my children spend their formative years being cared for by someone who loves them deeply, is extremely well educated and intelligent, and thoughtful? If you need two working parents to get by, then so be it. But if you think that your children get care as good from their preschool or the nanny you found from some website or listserv, that either speaks to your delusion or the lack of better options at home.

Immoral? Nah, just elitist and myopic. It's not about money – I guarantee I could buy and sell you. It is the idea that someone who is not been afforded the same educational and life opportunities as you and your wife - and gasp! May be a different race – is somehow ill-equipped to teach morals and worldly behavior. Unless the worldview you want to promote is "don't let those poor brown hands touch my kid!"

Someone calling someone elitist while simultaneously saying "I could buy and sell you". If you represent working women I'm glad to be on the intelligent other side.

Deserved response to "if you need two incomes to get by, so be it."

What a loser.

No- not a deserved response. It's a response that clearly identifies the posters deep insecurity with their own life choices.

It's a tacky, classless thing to say, especially from someone claiming to be so happy with their own life.

Hardly. He'd definitely have come back with "sorry you're so poor you have to outsource childcare." Total racist douchebag.

I'm the previous poster you are referring to -- I think you are projecting with the racism. The preschools my kids have gone to have had largely white teachers, as far as I remember. They were fine people, but I'd much prefer my wife take care of my kids. If you feel that these preschool teachers do as good a job as either parent in your house would, I think you are delusional or are aware that you'd do a bad job raising your kids. Either way, race has nothing to do with it.

Did you, or did you not, write "minimum wage preschool teacher or uneducated nanny?"

Yes, I wrote that, and I explained why that has nothing to do with race.

New poster here. We all know what you meant and that you're trying to backtrack. The vast majority of the low-paid daycare workers and nannies in this area (many of whom are incredibly loving caregivers) are not white. To pretend you don't know that and werent alluding to it is absurd. Or maybe, you "just" look down on people who make less money and have been given less opportunity in life? In which case, I stand corrected, you're awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

Good for you! If people can afford it, it's the best way to go. Unfortunately some can't and are resentful, some on this board obviously.

I worked on and off but was able to stay home, loved it. Great meals made every day, house clean, bills paid, happy marriage years later.

Admit you are the wife. No way are you the husband!

Thanks! I agree that people seem resentful, and I can see why. So far, this has been a great decision, and I just wanted to add another side to the story -- that at least one working spouse really appreciates the contribution of a stay-at-home spouse and feels that the household is much better off for it. I guess the point was derailed by my comments about childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

Good for you! If people can afford it, it's the best way to go. Unfortunately some can't and are resentful, some on this board obviously.

I worked on and off but was able to stay home, loved it. Great meals made every day, house clean, bills paid, happy marriage years later.

Thanks! I agree that people seem resentful, and I can see why. So far, this has been a great decision, and I just wanted to add another side to the story -- that at least one working spouse really appreciates the contribution of a stay-at-home spouse and feels that the household is much better off for it. I guess the point was derailed by my comments about childcare.

Admit you are the wife. No way you are the husband!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how I look at my situation:

My wife stays at home -- we've got three young kids (the oldest just started school). And man, it is GREAT, and I'm thankful she's willing to do it. I couldn't. It is constant attention to schedules and activities and the hearts and minds of the little ones. She cooks healthy food, keeps the house reasonably clean, does the laundry, pays the bills, and keeps up the social connections.

I'm thankful that the raising of the kids is not in the hands of some minimum wage preschool workers or uneducated nanny. I'm thankful she is constantly teaching the kids about the world, about morals, about important concepts that will make them more successful and happy teens and adults. I'm thankful that because she does all she does during the day, we have time to connect as a couple when I'm home from work. We have a great marriage and a peaceful, happy, intellectual family. When I hear and read about the hustle of two working parents, it sounds soul crushing. Why would any resent that?

I call complete BS that this is a man writing this. This is the woman writing about herself. hahahahahahaha

Nope, my DH commonly says this to me and I have overheard him telling our parents the same thing. Life is good. We feel lucky it's an option for us, but we're both fulfilled and satisfied. Now, when all the kids are in school, I'll get back into the workforce (and I actually will have an easy time doing this) and be able to spend more time on my interests again, but for now life is pie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I, for one, learned a tremendous amount from my DC's preschool teachers. Because they have degrees in child development, unlike myself!

And many of us prefer to learn about our children and their needs by actually raising them. So- sounds like everyone's happy!

Do you raise them, PP, or is that solely your wife's job? Is she your equal partner or do you, with your "millions," call all the shots in family decision-making?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I, for one, learned a tremendous amount from my DC's preschool teachers. Because they have degrees in child development, unlike myself!

And many of us prefer to learn about our children and their needs by actually raising them. So- sounds like everyone's happy!

Do you raise them, PP, or is that solely your wife's job? Is she your equal partner or do you, with your "millions," call all the shots in family decision-making?

I'm the wife and I'm the one with the millions. Regardless we are joint partners and because I SAH and he works from home he is able to spend even more time with the kids than if I worked a job I don't need to impress DCUM.