Moms of sons - do you guide your son to be respectful of girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are both serious problems. Why would you want to focus on one and ignore the other?

Well, you focus on the problems that you choose to focus on, and I'll choose to focus on the problems that I choose to focus on. Though it's interesting that you choose to focus on the problem that is based on the idea that women are crazy and vindictive and routinely lie.

You obviously not realize that there are more than two people in this discussion...

It doesn't really matter how many people there are, does it? Which problem are you, the immediate PP, focusing on -- rapes or false rape accusations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this question insulting of both girls and boys.

+1

+2

Interesting. I don't find it insulting. Because whether we like it or not, there is still a significant power imbalance in our culture that favors boys/men.

This, times a million.

+1 and bolded for truthiness. Stating this doesn't make anyone a man-hater, either, so let's not even play that game.

[Anonymous]

I know that I'm much more concerned about actual rape than false accusations. There is no phenomena of false accusations. They happen, and it's horrible, and the ones in the media get a lot of attention. But rapes happen more, and that's what I choose to focus my energies on.

[Anonymous]

Also? I will say something pro-men here, since some people *or person, as I suspect, cough cough* thinks some of us who are concerned about rape hate men....

Anyway, men are more likely to ALSO be sexually assaulted than to have a false accusation against them. The amount of energy spent on this thread about the bullshit "trend" of false accusations is laughable and disgusting.

[Anonymous]

^^^^ This does not include the reports that don't make it past the cop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can repeat your mantra about consent until the cows come home, but the fact is, no one really can predict what someone is going to say about any given sexual encounter after the fact. There can be enthusiasm, affirmatives, and consent all around, but if you're unknowingly dealing with someone unstable, it is completely in their hands to call it rape after the fact, if they so choose. This happens and will continue to happen - unless perhaps we educate our girls to NOT DO THIS.

No one really can predict what ANYBODY is going to say about ANYTHING after the fact. Should there be an education campaign focused on telling people not to lie about stuff that might harm other people?

This "oh, oh, oh, consent is so COMPLICATED, how can anybody possibly be expected to deal with it" business is really annoying. If you act like a decent human being in your encounters with other people -- any encounters, including sexual encounters -- chances are good that nothing bad will come of the encounter. There is no 100% guarantee, of course, but there is no 100% guarantee about anything in this life except that you will die at the end of it.

Okay Pollyanna... all girls are good and if you a just nice nothing bad will happen.

LOL. Nobody said all girls are good and all men are evil. NOBODY. But keep making up your phony woman-hating information. If you think that women are so confused about consent and don't know the difference between their friend running up and touching their arm to say hello vs. some stranger grabbing at them, then stay away from all women, and jerk off in your parent's basement like a good little troll.

You need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can repeat your mantra about consent until the cows come home, but the fact is, no one really can predict what someone is going to say about any given sexual encounter after the fact. There can be enthusiasm, affirmatives, and consent all around, but if you're unknowingly dealing with someone unstable, it is completely in their hands to call it rape after the fact, if they so choose. This happens and will continue to happen - unless perhaps we educate our girls to NOT DO THIS.

No one really can predict what ANYBODY is going to say about ANYTHING after the fact. Should there be an education campaign focused on telling people not to lie about stuff that might harm other people?

This "oh, oh, oh, consent is so COMPLICATED, how can anybody possibly be expected to deal with it" business is really annoying. If you act like a decent human being in your encounters with other people -- any encounters, including sexual encounters -- chances are good that nothing bad will come of the encounter. There is no 100% guarantee, of course, but there is no 100% guarantee about anything in this life except that you will die at the end of it.

Okay Pollyanna... all girls are good and if you a just nice nothing bad will happen.

LOL. Nobody said all girls are good and all men are evil. NOBODY. But keep making up your phony woman-hating information. If you think that women are so confused about consent and don't know the difference between their friend running up and touching their arm to say hello vs. some stranger grabbing at them, then stay away from all women, and jerk off in your parent's basement like a good little troll.

You need therapy.

oooh, such a good comeback.

[Anonymous]

HEY LAYDEEZ! I HEAR YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW HUGGING YOU WHEN YOU WANT IT VS. SOMEONE HUGGING YOU WHEN YOU DON'T! THE POOR MENZ OUT THERE ARE SO FLUSTERED AND CONFUSED THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CONSENT IS. THEY WANT TO SEX YOU UP, BUT WHERE WILL THEY PUT THEIR DING DONG IF YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WANTED HUG AND AN UNWANTED HUG! THEN YOU'RE GOING TO FALSELY ACCUSE ME OF HUGGING YOU UNWANTEDLY BECAUSE YOU REGRET IT! WHATEVER WILL WE DO!???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can repeat your mantra about consent until the cows come home, but the fact is, no one really can predict what someone is going to say about any given sexual encounter after the fact. There can be enthusiasm, affirmatives, and consent all around, but if you're unknowingly dealing with someone unstable, it is completely in their hands to call it rape after the fact, if they so choose. This happens and will continue to happen - unless perhaps we educate our girls to NOT DO THIS.

No one really can predict what ANYBODY is going to say about ANYTHING after the fact. Should there be an education campaign focused on telling people not to lie about stuff that might harm other people?

This "oh, oh, oh, consent is so COMPLICATED, how can anybody possibly be expected to deal with it" business is really annoying. If you act like a decent human being in your encounters with other people -- any encounters, including sexual encounters -- chances are good that nothing bad will come of the encounter. There is no 100% guarantee, of course, but there is no 100% guarantee about anything in this life except that you will die at the end of it.

Okay Pollyanna... all girls are good and if you a just nice nothing bad will happen.

LOL. Nobody said all girls are good and all men are evil. NOBODY. But keep making up your phony woman-hating information. If you think that women are so confused about consent and don't know the difference between their friend running up and touching their arm to say hello vs. some stranger grabbing at them, then stay away from all women, and jerk off in your parent's basement like a good little troll.

Not sure to whom this response is directed, but hopefully you realize there are multiple posters on this thread. I'm the underlined PP, above, not the Pollyanna PP.

It must make you feel clever and superior to call people "women-hating" or "trolls" if they simply point out that women are fallible too. I have both sons and daughters and am trying to raise both to be humane individuals, period. I hate this expression, but you truly do sound unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure. After all these situations with person A and person B you are still unable to define truly what clear consent means. And you won't be able to, human interaction is complicated and nuanced. Accoding to you, many memorable sexual experiences I had because I did not say explicitly yes I want to have sex, I was raped. Sad truth is in this culture there are women who enthusiastically consent and then regret it after, how can anybody be a hundred percent sure?

There was an e patience in my college dorm where an athletes ex girlfriend showed up at his doorstep wearing lingerie to seduce him. Later after that they did not get back together and she accused him of rape that night. He got suspended and stripped from the team. Incidents like that happen, and diminish the validity of rape where a woman is overpowered in the face of strong resistance, be the rapist a stranger or someone she knows.

Nobody is saying that only verbal consent constitutes consent. There are many different ways to show consent. Everybody who has participated in sexual activities with enthusiastic consent knows this, as does everybody who has participated in sexual activities with an enthusiastically consenting partner.

However, I agree that, if Person A is not 100% certain that Person B is consenting, then Person A should not participate in sexual activities with Person B. Or, if that's too technical and complicated: only have sex with people who want to have sex with you.

And what I am trying to point out to you is that enthusiastic consent, when not verbal, can still be misinterpreted leading to misunderstandings , confusion and has accusations of rape. And like it or not, situations like that happen.

Case in point, one of my friends went to a bar and met a really cute guy,. It was her first time and to bolster her courage she drank a lot and proceeded to flirt heavily with him. She ended up going home with him and woke up to find out she had sx, even bough she had blaced out and remember nothing. She and him continued to date and she was very happy. To you that would be rape. To her it was her first love, the man in point was also drunk and sing she was all over him assumed she enthusiastically consented. If my friend had woken up feeling regretful the story would have been very different.

So with us means he laws the only ah to be specifically clear is to have verbal consent every part of the way. Otherwise nuances are difficult. Good luck being so clear cut. You can give your dh a good morning kiss and he can tell you later he did not want you to kiss him and that would be sexual assault. I mean in the Columbia case the alleged rapist was accused of assault in one instance by grabbing a persons arm,..

By casting every human sexual interaction as a possible sexual assault, e.g.sneaking up behind someone to give them a hug, the meaning of rape is diluted. It's an insult to real rape victims everywhere. All you have done is make it even worse for them to be believe.i have been reading the New York Times and do the first tine, with what is a usually very liberal readership, here is a general sentiment and pushback against this insane rape hysteria. When nytimes and Jezebel is starting to pushback, you know the hysteria has gone too far.

WELL SAID. (Though I think your smartphone is getting the better of you!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, all human interactions can lead to misunderstanding. We don't therefore ban human interactions. Nor do we require signed contracts before human interactions. Somehow everybody is able to figure this out countless times every single day -- except when it comes to sexual human interactions, at which point it apparently all becomes so complicated and nebulous that all of these poor pitiful well-meaning people are just completely at sea. I wonder why.

Also, grabbing somebody's arm actually is assault. So is hugging somebody who does not want to be hugged. Is it prosecutable assault, if so, should prosecutors prosecute it? Well, there are bigger fish to fry. Nonetheless, they are both assault. Don't do those things.

Wow. Extremist much? I'm picturing you going about your day, offended at the slightest touch or glance. Must be fun to be around!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, all human interactions can lead to misunderstanding. We don't therefore ban human interactions. Nor do we require signed contracts before human interactions. Somehow everybody is able to figure this out countless times every single day -- except when it comes to sexual human interactions, at which point it apparently all becomes so complicated and nebulous that all of these poor pitiful well-meaning people are just completely at sea. I wonder why.

Also, grabbing somebody's arm actually is assault. So is hugging somebody who does not want to be hugged. Is it prosecutable assault, if so, should prosecutors prosecute it? Well, there are bigger fish to fry. Nonetheless, they are both assault. Don't do those things.

Wow. Extremist much? I'm picturing you going about your day, offended at the slightest touch or glance. Must be fun to be around!

Feel free to walk up to somebody on the street and grab their arm and hug them. Be sure to stick around to find out what happens next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have said my piece. Go on enforcing your sexual authoritarian dystopia where all young men are evil and need to be retrained and all forms of contact is sexual assault. The victims are the real rape victims who are even less likely to be believed than before and the guys that have their futures ruined. Nothing I further say will change your mind. Might as well cut the bull crap and get back to Victorian mores where no sex is allowed unless heavily sanctioned.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, all human interactions can lead to misunderstanding. We don't therefore ban human interactions. Nor do we require signed contracts before human interactions. Somehow everybody is able to figure this out countless times every single day -- except when it comes to sexual human interactions, at which point it apparently all becomes so complicated and nebulous that all of these poor pitiful well-meaning people are just completely at sea. I wonder why.

Also, grabbing somebody's arm actually is assault. So is hugging somebody who does not want to be hugged. Is it prosecutable assault, if so, should prosecutors prosecute it? Well, there are bigger fish to fry. Nonetheless, they are both assault. Don't do those things.

You just showed how ridiculous you are. Grabbing a persons arm and hugging someone depended on context and is not assault. In that case I am sure you have committed assault before. Exactly , there are bigger fish to fry. True incidents of rape, not these trumped up charges that everything is assault.

Yes, exactly. It does depend on context. Here is a guide:

Not assault: grabbing somebody's arm who consents to it; hugging somebody who consents to it.
Assault: grabbing somebody's arm who doesn't consent to it; hugging somebody doesn't consent to it.

I am pretty sure that you also agree that grabbing somebody's arm and/or hugging somebody can be assault. Or when some random person on the street grabs your arm/hugs you, do you think to yourself, "Well, I didn't tell them not to do that, so they couldn't have known I didn't want them to grab my arm/hug me."?

Good grief. Do you analyze each and every encounter in your daily life? Do you obtain consent first before attempting to grab someone's arm to say hello or to give them a hug? "Hello, Larla. Would you give me your consent to grab your arm? I have something important to tell you!" or "Greetings, Zelda. I would very much like to hug you as it's been awhile since we've seen one another. May I have your consent?"

How exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When a women believes she is raped, she goes to the cops (many don't, i know that) but many do and once they talk to the cops many realize that what they described is not a "real" rape.

And we have a woman hater here, ladies and gents! This post is the most over the top piece of bullshit I have read on here yet.

Not a woman or a man hater. Just a realist.

Nah. A realist would actually acknowledge the article that was linked showing how you have no clue what you're talking about and make a real comment about it. You're just a troll, and a woman hating one at that.

Not the PP, but it's incredibly lazy to call someone a "troll" just because you don't like or agree with what they're saying. You clearly don't know what a real troll is. Hint: it's not someone whose opinion differs from yours.