I can't handle the competition at K

[Anonymous]

[quotThanks for the advice. Next time my child complains of bullying I'll say:
1. I don't believe you.
And
2. Life is not fair.


PP gave you good advice. That is not what she said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Plus, which is it - do you need Larla to be praised by the teacher so she will feel "good enough" and "preferred" by him/her, or are you teaching her not to care? Just one more example of your muddled thinking.

Don't you see? I'm teaching her that she's great the way she is while the school is teaching her that she's not fitting their cookie cutter.

Honest question, OP. You clearly have tons of free time to post on DCUM. Why are you not homeschooling? You're unhappy with the academics AND the social environment at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yeah, THAT'S what I said. I have a hard time you are an adult parent. You write and think like a 12 year old child whose pre-frontal cortex is barely developed.

Well, at least I haven't gone to you level of just screaming out personal insults. That's really mature.

[Anonymous]

Don't you see? I'm teaching her that she's great the way she is while the school is teaching her that she's not fitting their cookie cutter.

Because the school places a value on cooperation?

[Anonymous]

OP, if it is that important to you for your child to be a free spirit who places no value on conformation, I seriously think you should home school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Plus, which is it - do you need Larla to be praised by the teacher so she will feel "good enough" and "preferred" by him/her, or are you teaching her not to care? Just one more example of your muddled thinking.

Don't you see? I'm teaching her that she's great the way she is while the school is teaching her that she's not fitting their cookie cutter.

No I don't see. I think you are dead wrong. The world isn't fair, people don't always behave the way you want them to, schools, workplaces, etc have expectations for you, whether you think they are fair or not. You are setting your daughter up to fail because YOU are failing to teach her how to get along in the world as it really is vs. the way YOU think it should be. Keep it up and your child will be one of the 18 year olds in their first year of college who break at the first bad grade, criticism on a paper, failed romantic relationship, difficult social dynamic, etc. You are not teaching her to be resilient because, well, you don't seem very resilient yourself.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, as a teacher I have a question: What if every kid decided to do as they wished?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yeah, THAT'S what I said. I have a hard time you are an adult parent. You write and think like a 12 year old child whose pre-frontal cortex is barely developed.

Well, at least I haven't gone to you level of just screaming out personal insults. That's really mature.

Not screaming - I'm stating a fact. You twist and turn everything anyone says or does to mean what you think it means - that everyone is out to get you and your child. That's the sign of someone with an immature grasp of rational thought. Sorry if you can't handle the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Don't you see? I'm teaching her that she's great the way she is while the school is teaching her that she's not fitting their cookie cutter.

Because the school places a value on cooperation?

no. They are not working in teams. So not learning cooperation. Just obedience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't you see? I'm teaching her that she's great the way she is while the school is teaching her that she's not fitting their cookie cutter.

Because the school places a value on cooperation?

no. They are not working in teams. So not learning cooperation. Just obedience.

Well by all means, the teacher should let 25 five year olds run around and be free and disobedient all day, right? All the while you are expecting your DD to learn big things everyday. You do realize these two things are not compatible? Keep it up - I mean really, your continued attempts to argue and justify your points would be highly amusing if it wasn't so sad.

My advice? Get off DCUM and go find a therapist you can talk to.

[Anonymous]

no. They are not working in teams. So not learning cooperation. Just obedience.

Wow! You think cooperation is only learned by working in teams? Really? I taught K, the kids do things together constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Plus, which is it - do you need Larla to be praised by the teacher so she will feel "good enough" and "preferred" by him/her, or are you teaching her not to care? Just one more example of your muddled thinking.

Don't you see? I'm teaching her that she's great the way she is while the school is teaching her that she's not fitting their cookie cutter.

What would you like to see in school for your daughter and the other kids who are "different" from the award-getters? How should they be supported in a way that lets them feel good about themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No I don't see. I think you are dead wrong. The world isn't fair, people don't always behave the way you want them to, schools, workplaces, etc have expectations for you, whether you think they are fair or not. You are setting your daughter up to fail because YOU are failing to teach her how to get along in the world as it really is vs. the way YOU think it should be.

That's why I haven't taken her out of the school yet. I'm trying to figure out a strategy to deal with all this.

I talked to the teacher about DD's complaints but she kind of brushed it off and DD was crying yesterday again that the other girl grabbed her and made her play with her at recess. She wanted to ask for teacher's help, but the teacher was not there. She doesn't want to go the school because this happens every day. So I'm pretty pissed at the teacher that she didn't bother be there.

On the other note, there is no reason for our schools to be like that. There is no reason we shouldn't hold the bar higher for the sake of our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No I don't see. I think you are dead wrong. The world isn't fair, people don't always behave the way you want them to, schools, workplaces, etc have expectations for you, whether you think they are fair or not. You are setting your daughter up to fail because YOU are failing to teach her how to get along in the world as it really is vs. the way YOU think it should be.

That's why I haven't taken her out of the school yet. I'm trying to figure out a strategy to deal with all this.

I talked to the teacher about DD's complaints but she kind of brushed it off and DD was crying yesterday again that the other girl grabbed her and made her play with her at recess. She wanted to ask for teacher's help, but the teacher was not there. She doesn't want to go the school because this happens every day. So I'm pretty pissed at the teacher that she didn't bother be there.

On the other note, there is no reason for our schools to be like that. There is no reason we shouldn't hold the bar higher for the sake of our children.

And I'm sure your over the top reaction to all of this is just feeding your child's anxieties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Plus, which is it - do you need Larla to be praised by the teacher so she will feel "good enough" and "preferred" by him/her, or are you teaching her not to care? Just one more example of your muddled thinking.

Don't you see? I'm teaching her that she's great the way she is while the school is teaching her that she's not fitting their cookie cutter.

What would you like to see in school for your daughter and the other kids who are "different" from the award-getters? How should they be supported in a way that lets them feel good about themselves?

OP has been asked this question several times and won't answer, because the answer is she has no earthly idea.