I can't handle the competition at K

[Anonymous]

I talked to the teacher about DD's complaints but she kind of brushed it off and DD was crying yesterday again that the other girl grabbed her and made her play with her at recess. She wanted to ask for teacher's help, but the teacher was not there. She doesn't want to go the school because this happens every day. So I'm pretty pissed at the teacher that she didn't bother be there.

OP. Your story has really developed on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What would you like to see in school for your daughter and the other kids who are "different" from the award-getters? How should they be supported in a way that lets them feel good about themselves?

I would like the kids get individual attention.
I would like for them to work on each one's individual areas where they need to make progress.
If you pay attention to the kids you know where they are don't need constant testing.
I want them to compete with themselves only.
I wanted them to do more hands on tasks and games instead of mostly CC worksheets.
I want longer recess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No I don't see. I think you are dead wrong. The world isn't fair, people don't always behave the way you want them to, schools, workplaces, etc have expectations for you, whether you think they are fair or not. You are setting your daughter up to fail because YOU are failing to teach her how to get along in the world as it really is vs. the way YOU think it should be.

That's why I haven't taken her out of the school yet. I'm trying to figure out a strategy to deal with all this.

I talked to the teacher about DD's complaints but she kind of brushed it off and DD was crying yesterday again that the other girl grabbed her and made her play with her at recess. She wanted to ask for teacher's help, but the teacher was not there. She doesn't want to go the school because this happens every day. So I'm pretty pissed at the teacher that she didn't bother be there.

On the other note, there is no reason for our schools to be like that. There is no reason we shouldn't hold the bar higher for the sake of our children.

The teachers are usually not there at recess (at least at our school) because that is when they are eating their lunch. There are other monitors availabel for recess and the kids lunch time. You may want to be sure that your daughter's teacher has relayed your message to the recess monitors (if that is how it is arranged at your school). Just an idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, as a teacher I have a question: What if every kid decided to do as they wished?

Well, obviously you'd have the out of control hellions that are bullying OP's daughter on the playground. But you can't teach obedience and behavior in the classroom either, because that will crush the children's souls, doncha know.

There is nothing this teacher or the school can do to satisfy OP, I guarantee you that. OP needs a job, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No I don't see. I think you are dead wrong. The world isn't fair, people don't always behave the way you want them to, schools, workplaces, etc have expectations for you, whether you think they are fair or not. You are setting your daughter up to fail because YOU are failing to teach her how to get along in the world as it really is vs. the way YOU think it should be.

That's why I haven't taken her out of the school yet. I'm trying to figure out a strategy to deal with all this.

I talked to the teacher about DD's complaints but she kind of brushed it off and DD was crying yesterday again that the other girl grabbed her and made her play with her at recess. She wanted to ask for teacher's help, but the teacher was not there. She doesn't want to go the school because this happens every day.So I'm pretty pissed at the teacher that she didn't bother be there.

On the other note, there is no reason for our schools to be like that. There is no reason we shouldn't hold the bar higher for the sake of our children.

You haven't taken her out of the school yet because you're trying to figure out a strategy to deal with the world not being fair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow! You think cooperation is only learned by working in teams? Really? I taught K, the kids do things together constantly.

not in our class. They are not doing things together. They just work individually on worksheets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Wow! You think cooperation is only learned by working in teams? Really? I taught K, the kids do things together constantly.

not in our class. They are not doing things together. They just work individually on worksheets.

Where is this school where the kindergarteners do nothing but sit in their seats working individually on worksheets? You don't have to name the school or even the school district. Just the general geographic area will answer my question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What would you like to see in school for your daughter and the other kids who are "different" from the award-getters? How should they be supported in a way that lets them feel good about themselves?

I would like the kids get individual attention.
I would like for them to work on each one's individual areas where they need to make progress.
If you pay attention to the kids you know where they are don't need constant testing.
I want them to compete with themselves only.
I wanted them to do more hands on tasks and games instead of mostly CC worksheets.
I want longer recess.

These are all understandable from the viewpoint of a parent, but it would likely require handpicking a small private school that has a philosophy aligned with yours or choosing to homeschool. It is NOT reasonable to expect children in a large K class (private or public) to get such an individually personalized schooling experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What would you like to see in school for your daughter and the other kids who are "different" from the award-getters? How should they be supported in a way that lets them feel good about themselves?

I would like the kids get individual attention.
I would like for them to work on each one's individual areas where they need to make progress.
If you pay attention to the kids you know where they are don't need constant testing.
I want them to compete with themselves only.
I wanted them to do more hands on tasks and games instead of mostly CC worksheets.
I want longer recess.

And I want to win the lottery.

You were there for one short time period, where they were doing worksheets - which, by the way, my kid does at a private school, too - and have extrapolated this to all they do are worksheets. In any given week my kid comes home with 20+ worksheets he's done that week. They write "S" or whatever over and over because young children learn by repetition - whether it's a fine motor skill like writing or an intellectual skill like recognizing sight words. Two teachers cannot give 25 children individual attention ALL DAY. Out of a 6.5 hour day my kid's private has 20 minutes of recess, 30 minutes of special, 25 minutes of lunch, and 30 minutes of quiet time where they can rest, read a book, whatever. That is an hour and 45 minutes of not sitting at your desk. They also spend time doing group projects like coloring a poster together that reinforces their lessons. It is a Catholic school and they also learn virtues, one of which is obedience, for which I am GRATEFUL. As a parent, I don't wan't a disobedient snowflake who can't follow rules, respect others, and learn that the world doesn't revolve around them.

[Anonymous]

I would like the kids get individual attention

OP, most teachers do give kids individual attention--but not all day and not all the time. That is an unrealistic expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No I don't see. I think you are dead wrong. The world isn't fair, people don't always behave the way you want them to, schools, workplaces, etc have expectations for you, whether you think they are fair or not. You are setting your daughter up to fail because YOU are failing to teach her how to get along in the world as it really is vs. the way YOU think it should be.

That's why I haven't taken her out of the school yet. I'm trying to figure out a strategy to deal with all this.

I talked to the teacher about DD's complaints but she kind of brushed it off and DD was crying yesterday again that the other girl grabbed her and made her play with her at recess. She wanted to ask for teacher's help, but the teacher was not there. She doesn't want to go the school because this happens every day.So I'm pretty pissed at the teacher that she didn't bother be there.

On the other note, there is no reason for our schools to be like that. There is no reason we shouldn't hold the bar higher for the sake of our children.

You haven't taken her out of the school yet because you're trying to figure out a strategy to deal with the world not being fair?

I know, right? Good luck with that, OP. LOL.

[Anonymous]

I would like for them to work on each one's individual areas where they need to make progress.

Again. Most teachers try to do this, but it is impossible to do this all day and unrealistic to expect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You haven't taken her out of the school yet because you're trying to figure out a strategy to deal with the world not being fair?

Because you are right and I do want her to learn to be resilient. That's why she went there again today.

However, it's unacceptable that my DD is m being prevented to play the way she wants and make new friends. I don't want her to be in a tandem with a bully who overpowers her. DD is shy and gets scared when someone pushes her hard. I try to role play at home with her but she hasn't been able to stand up to her yet.

But knowing the girl's parent, no one is able to stand up to him either. Most just walk away and leave. And it seems to be the only best bet.

[Anonymous]

If you pay attention to the kids you know where they are don't need constant testing.

This is a somewhat valid statement. I don't like constant testing either. However, some testing is a reasonable expectation. As a teacher, I was sometimes surprised at the results of testing. And, I did pay attention.

[Anonymous]

I want them to compete with themselves only.

That comes from the child--not the teacher. Some people are competitive and some are not.