FA - real life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:A lot of people find OP to be irresponsible, unethical, and shameful. For the people who find this acceptable, how were you raised?

You seem perpetually confused and bothered.

You don't hate the player, you hate the game.

The game is played according to the rules that have, not the rules you WISH you had.

The quicker you grasp this very simple, basic fact, the quicker you can move on and re-discover some meaning in your life.

Some of us live by moral principles.

You are still confused here and this misunderstanding is causing you unneeded consternation during what should be a festive holiday season.

This has nothing to do with "moral principles".

You aren't happy with the established existing framework that many schools have for distributing FA but that has nothing to do with those who, adhere to these rules and apply for/receive FA.

Let me clarify. I view accepting financial assistance for what is a luxury product, private school, by a family who is relatively comfortable, at a 300k income, to be repulsive. I would look down upon them as that violates my ethical code.

I don’t blame the school, which has a system in place to help families with financial difficulties. I get it. Emergencies happen and families have real hardships.

I blame the parents who take the easy way out. Instead of supporting their own kids by earning an income that matches their expenses, they take a handout. They are not even trying to get on better financial footing. They just plan to take the handout for as long as their kids are in school. And this is completely unnecessary. It is for a private school when there are plenty of good publics available.

Now I know you’re a troll. Have you read what financial aid is for on your schools website? Most schools openly say they look at how many kids you have in private school and there is no specific income level on which qualifies and doesn’t qualify for aid. A lot of factors come into play. One thing I don’t see is financial difficulties and emergencies. You know why? Those aren’t the families applying to private school. Let’s be clear schools want to attract families like OP.

Why is OP unable to meet their expenses with their income? Can’t they get a higher paying job? What is their hardship preventing them from earning enough?

Single parent? Disabled spouse? Special need kids?

In this case, it sounds like OP is just lazy. The lower income parents should have some reason they cannot pay their bills.

You're just making things up to fit the weird construct you've conjured up.

OP has clearly charted out a path whereby they are meeting all their expenses. You just don't like their path because of some strange distortion that only up live in.

+1. Also, “can’t they get a higher paying job?” sounds like something my small children, who do not understand anything about working or money, would say.

For those of us who have made professional sacrifices to increase income, this is very real. The demands of a job that pays 7 figures is nothing like the demands of my prior jobs that paid in line with OP.

There is nothing real about thinking that everyone that is already established professionally can magic themselves into 7 figures. Anyone this out of touch with reality has no business weighing in on anything financial aid related.

+1 this person is unhinged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people find OP to be irresponsible, unethical, and shameful. For the people who find this acceptable, how were you raised?

You seem perpetually confused and bothered.

You don't hate the player, you hate the game.

The game is played according to the rules that have, not the rules you WISH you had.

The quicker you grasp this very simple, basic fact, the quicker you can move on and re-discover some meaning in your life.

Some of us live by moral principles.

You are still confused here and this misunderstanding is causing you unneeded consternation during what should be a festive holiday season.

This has nothing to do with "moral principles".

You aren't happy with the established existing framework that many schools have for distributing FA but that has nothing to do with those who, adhere to these rules and apply for/receive FA.

Let me clarify. I view accepting financial assistance for what is a luxury product, private school, by a family who is relatively comfortable, at a 300k income, to be repulsive. I would look down upon them as that violates my ethical code.

I don’t blame the school, which has a system in place to help families with financial difficulties. I get it. Emergencies happen and families have real hardships.

I blame the parents who take the easy way out. Instead of supporting their own kids by earning an income that matches their expenses, they take a handout. They are not even trying to get on better financial footing. They just plan to take the handout for as long as their kids are in school. And this is completely unnecessary. It is for a private school when there are plenty of good publics available.

Now I know you’re a troll. Have you read what financial aid is for on your schools website? Most schools openly say they look at how many kids you have in private school and there is no specific income level on which qualifies and doesn’t qualify for aid. A lot of factors come into play. One thing I don’t see is financial difficulties and emergencies. You know why? Those aren’t the families applying to private school. Let’s be clear schools want to attract families like OP.

Why is OP unable to meet their expenses with their income? Can’t they get a higher paying job? What is their hardship preventing them from earning enough?

Single parent? Disabled spouse? Special need kids?

In this case, it sounds like OP is just lazy. The lower income parents should have some reason they cannot pay their bills.

You're just making things up to fit the weird construct you've conjured up.

OP has clearly charted out a path whereby they are meeting all their expenses. You just don't like their path because of some strange distortion that only up live in.

+1. Also, “can’t they get a higher paying job?” sounds like something my small children, who do not understand anything about working or money, would say.

For those of us who have made professional sacrifices to increase income, this is very real. The demands of a job that pays 7 figures is nothing like the demands of my prior jobs that paid in line with OP.

There is nothing real about thinking that everyone that is already established professionally can magic themselves into 7 figures. Anyone this out of touch with reality has no business weighing in on anything financial aid related.

+1 this person is unhinged

If both parents combined make $300k, that is about $150k each, it should be pretty reasonable for one of them to increase their salary.

I know kids who make that in their first job out of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people find OP to be irresponsible, unethical, and shameful. For the people who find this acceptable, how were you raised?

You seem perpetually confused and bothered.

You don't hate the player, you hate the game.

The game is played according to the rules that have, not the rules you WISH you had.

The quicker you grasp this very simple, basic fact, the quicker you can move on and re-discover some meaning in your life.

Some of us live by moral principles.

You are still confused here and this misunderstanding is causing you unneeded consternation during what should be a festive holiday season.

This has nothing to do with "moral principles".

You aren't happy with the established existing framework that many schools have for distributing FA but that has nothing to do with those who, adhere to these rules and apply for/receive FA.

Let me clarify. I view accepting financial assistance for what is a luxury product, private school, by a family who is relatively comfortable, at a 300k income, to be repulsive. I would look down upon them as that violates my ethical code.

I don’t blame the school, which has a system in place to help families with financial difficulties. I get it. Emergencies happen and families have real hardships.

I blame the parents who take the easy way out. Instead of supporting their own kids by earning an income that matches their expenses, they take a handout. They are not even trying to get on better financial footing. They just plan to take the handout for as long as their kids are in school. And this is completely unnecessary. It is for a private school when there are plenty of good publics available.

Now I know you’re a troll. Have you read what financial aid is for on your schools website? Most schools openly say they look at how many kids you have in private school and there is no specific income level on which qualifies and doesn’t qualify for aid. A lot of factors come into play. One thing I don’t see is financial difficulties and emergencies. You know why? Those aren’t the families applying to private school. Let’s be clear schools want to attract families like OP.

Why is OP unable to meet their expenses with their income? Can’t they get a higher paying job? What is their hardship preventing them from earning enough?

Single parent? Disabled spouse? Special need kids?

In this case, it sounds like OP is just lazy. The lower income parents should have some reason they cannot pay their bills.

You're just making things up to fit the weird construct you've conjured up.

OP has clearly charted out a path whereby they are meeting all their expenses. You just don't like their path because of some strange distortion that only up live in.

+1. Also, “can’t they get a higher paying job?” sounds like something my small children, who do not understand anything about working or money, would say.

For those of us who have made professional sacrifices to increase income, this is very real. The demands of a job that pays 7 figures is nothing like the demands of my prior jobs that paid in line with OP.

There is nothing real about thinking that everyone that is already established professionally can magic themselves into 7 figures. Anyone this out of touch with reality has no business weighing in on anything financial aid related.

+1 this person is unhinged

If both parents combined make $300k, that is about $150k each, it should be pretty reasonable for one of them to increase their salary.

I know kids who make that in their first job out of college.

Should be easy for nurses and teachers to magically raise their salaries in their only trained profession…

[Anonymous]

Well, nurses and teachers went into those careers knowing they would not be making enough money to pay for private school.

So if they want to send their children to private school, it seems like they need to change careers. Or… send their kids to public school. We don’t get everything we want in life and you live with the consequences of your life decisions, like what career you pursue.

It’s bizarre this has become a conversation about middle class people with means being able to squeak in for FA. Don’t you feel bad taking aid that could go to a kid whose life and prospects it could dramatically improve?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the reasons people might be upset about this is jealousy. When my spouse and I started looking at private schools for our child (when she was about 3) we made about what OP currently makes. We realized that we could only afford to have one child in the DC area if we wanted to put them through private K-12 and also pay for undergrad. So we decided not to have another kid.

We only have one child because we never thought that others should (or would!) subsidize the expense of us having more. Guess it turns out we’re the suckers. So, yeah, OP’s post upsets me on a pretty deep level.

What if you already had 2 or 3 kids when you decided to go to private schools? By the time we decided public was not working for my eldest, we already had 3 kids….

Then you make lifestyle choices to afford it or go to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, nurses and teachers went into those careers knowing they would not be making enough money to pay for private school.

So if they want to send their children to private school, it seems like they need to change careers. Or… send their kids to public school. We don’t get everything we want in life and you live with the consequences of your life decisions, like what career you pursue.

It’s bizarre this has become a conversation about middle class people with means being able to squeak in for FA. Don’t you feel bad taking aid that could go to a kid whose life and prospects it could dramatically improve?

Financial aid exists so that people who make smaller salaries can also send their kids to private school. As much as the moderately rich would like to believe, there are resources to help other people‘s children also achieve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, nurses and teachers went into those careers knowing they would not be making enough money to pay for private school.

So if they want to send their children to private school, it seems like they need to change careers. Or… send their kids to public school. We don’t get everything we want in life and you live with the consequences of your life decisions, like what career you pursue.

It’s bizarre this has become a conversation about middle class people with means being able to squeak in for FA. Don’t you feel bad taking aid that could go to a kid whose life and prospects it could dramatically improve?

Who are you to tell people what they should and shouldn’t do? Worry about yourself, you’re bizarre. People have already answered this question. Stop asking the same question over and over again. People don’t feel bad because they aren’t doing anything wrong. If you have a problem with it stop posting on an anonymous message board and take your issues up with your school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the reasons people might be upset about this is jealousy. When my spouse and I started looking at private schools for our child (when she was about 3) we made about what OP currently makes. We realized that we could only afford to have one child in the DC area if we wanted to put them through private K-12 and also pay for undergrad. So we decided not to have another kid.

We only have one child because we never thought that others should (or would!) subsidize the expense of us having more. Guess it turns out we’re the suckers. So, yeah, OP’s post upsets me on a pretty deep level.

What if you already had 2 or 3 kids when you decided to go to private schools? By the time we decided public was not working for my eldest, we already had 3 kids….

Then you make lifestyle choices to afford it or go to public.

People don’t have to do this! Stop telling people what to do and get a life.

[Anonymous]

Many of us think FA recipients are doing something wrong, when they are relatively wealthy but make no effort to pay tuition on their own due to generous financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, nurses and teachers went into those careers knowing they would not be making enough money to pay for private school.

So if they want to send their children to private school, it seems like they need to change careers. Or… send their kids to public school. We don’t get everything we want in life and you live with the consequences of your life decisions, like what career you pursue.

It’s bizarre this has become a conversation about middle class people with means being able to squeak in for FA. Don’t you feel bad taking aid that could go to a kid whose life and prospects it could dramatically improve?

Who are you to tell people what they should and shouldn’t do? Worry about yourself, you’re bizarre. People have already answered this question. Stop asking the same question over and over again. People don’t feel bad because they aren’t doing anything wrong. If you have a problem with it stop posting on an anonymous message board and take your issues up with your school.

This person will never take it up with their school because s/he is sad and pathetic, and knows deep down that the school will think it is crazy (because it is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the reasons people might be upset about this is jealousy. When my spouse and I started looking at private schools for our child (when she was about 3) we made about what OP currently makes. We realized that we could only afford to have one child in the DC area if we wanted to put them through private K-12 and also pay for undergrad. So we decided not to have another kid.

We only have one child because we never thought that others should (or would!) subsidize the expense of us having more. Guess it turns out we’re the suckers. So, yeah, OP’s post upsets me on a pretty deep level.

What if you already had 2 or 3 kids when you decided to go to private schools? By the time we decided public was not working for my eldest, we already had 3 kids….

Well that’s the crux of the issue: we would not have “decided to go to private school” if we couldn’t have afforded it.

It’s hard to say without knowing exactly what “not working out” means for your eldest child. (And I’m certainly not asking) If they have a learning difference, public would still probably be the place for them, especially if you got them diagnosed and got an IEP in place. If they needed more help with reading, etc, I would get them a tutor and lean in as a parent. Private school is rarely, if ever, the only answer for a struggling child - especially in elementary school. At older grades I could see a few years at a place like Lab if one kid were particularly struggling with EF skills or other minor differences.

Under no circumstances would my spouse and I think that a struggling eldest means that all of our children need to be placed in an expensive private school with others paying a portion of their tuition. We were taught that the responsibility of raising and educating our children rests solely with us, and that we should always live within our means.

That's great for you that's how you think you would've responded in PP's circumstance. But financial aid is literally for families who couldn't afford to attend the school without it. They want families like PP to apply for it.

It feels like the lesson here is that everyone should be applying to private schools and applying for aid. If more kids coming from families with a HHI of under 100k were applying for and getting this aid, OP would be SOL and everyone else would probably feel a whole lot better about the whole situation. Spread the word: apply to go to Sidwell - your kid can go for free!

Yes, the schools literally tell people to apply even if they think they can’t afford it. I’m not sure how some people are just now coming to this conclusion.

+1, and our school tells everybody to apply for FA.

The schools prefer to cast a wide net and then use FA to entice the students they most want to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, nurses and teachers went into those careers knowing they would not be making enough money to pay for private school.

So if they want to send their children to private school, it seems like they need to change careers. Or… send their kids to public school. We don’t get everything we want in life and you live with the consequences of your life decisions, like what career you pursue.

It’s bizarre this has become a conversation about middle class people with means being able to squeak in for FA. Don’t you feel bad taking aid that could go to a kid whose life and prospects it could dramatically improve?

If they are a dual income family and depending on the school and other lifestyle choices they can afford it. Famlies who make $300K should not be getting aid. A teacher can tutor. A nurse can pick up extra shifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the reasons people might be upset about this is jealousy. When my spouse and I started looking at private schools for our child (when she was about 3) we made about what OP currently makes. We realized that we could only afford to have one child in the DC area if we wanted to put them through private K-12 and also pay for undergrad. So we decided not to have another kid.

We only have one child because we never thought that others should (or would!) subsidize the expense of us having more. Guess it turns out we’re the suckers. So, yeah, OP’s post upsets me on a pretty deep level.

What if you already had 2 or 3 kids when you decided to go to private schools? By the time we decided public was not working for my eldest, we already had 3 kids….

Then you make lifestyle choices to afford it or go to public.

My lifestyle choice is to apply for FA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the reasons people might be upset about this is jealousy. When my spouse and I started looking at private schools for our child (when she was about 3) we made about what OP currently makes. We realized that we could only afford to have one child in the DC area if we wanted to put them through private K-12 and also pay for undergrad. So we decided not to have another kid.

We only have one child because we never thought that others should (or would!) subsidize the expense of us having more. Guess it turns out we’re the suckers. So, yeah, OP’s post upsets me on a pretty deep level.

What if you already had 2 or 3 kids when you decided to go to private schools? By the time we decided public was not working for my eldest, we already had 3 kids….

Then you make lifestyle choices to afford it or go to public.

People don’t have to do this! Stop telling people what to do and get a life.

I have a life and we earn way less than $300K and still can afford private. Why don't you get a life and stop mooching off others and leave the aid for people who need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the reasons people might be upset about this is jealousy. When my spouse and I started looking at private schools for our child (when she was about 3) we made about what OP currently makes. We realized that we could only afford to have one child in the DC area if we wanted to put them through private K-12 and also pay for undergrad. So we decided not to have another kid.

We only have one child because we never thought that others should (or would!) subsidize the expense of us having more. Guess it turns out we’re the suckers. So, yeah, OP’s post upsets me on a pretty deep level.

What if you already had 2 or 3 kids when you decided to go to private schools? By the time we decided public was not working for my eldest, we already had 3 kids….

Then you make lifestyle choices to afford it or go to public.

People don’t have to do this! Stop telling people what to do and get a life.

I have a life and we earn way less than $300K and still can afford private. Why don't you get a life and stop mooching off others and leave the aid for people who need it.

This has parochial full pay or non-DMV written all over it.