Why do grown women post photos of social events?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested. That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

This is a weird response because I never once said I have taken this personally. In fact I said I don’t find it offensive and I don’t even really use social media because it’s all irrelevant. I actually have multiple groups of friends, friends from preschool and friends from childhood and none of us post social gatherings. We just share photos among ourselves, so again, I was just wondering why people post things on social media that aren’t relevant to most of the people following them. I think that’s a fair question and you certainly seemed to get very defensive and resorted to calling me a “small person”… lol.

Actually I answered your question. You asked why people not “connected to the group need to see the photos” and I gave you a direct answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are all such stupid glory hounds that they are too weak to realize that no one cares what restaurant they ate at. Stay off all social media. Withdraw your FB account. Now is the time to live free and unencumbered.

Lol she says on DCUM of all places.

Hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not on social media but I don’t understand what the problem is with people sharing photos…isn’t that the entire point?

It might make other people feel bad.

I can’t tell if this is sarcasm…

[Anonymous]

Social media is a status scoreboard. It drives the status obsessed and status insecure insane when they can’t compete.

[Anonymous]

I'm still seeing fools just posting 100000 pictures of their food. I don't care what you ate!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested. That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

DP. One of the reasons I stopped posting many years ago, in addition to asking myself who was it for, was imagining so many people just scrolling by carelessly something that felt so meaningful to me. (As they should feel free to do, obviously.) Why would I put my own precious memories and experiences out there for people to judge or ignore or mock? It cheapens the human experience for me.

You’ve totally missed my point. I’m confident that my “followers” and the people I follow aren’t judging or mocking or affirmatively ignoring. The people I know simply aren’t wired that way. If they were I wouldn’t follow them in the first place.

Oh, honey.

“Oh, honey” also went out in 2012. Believe me, I’d never follow you on social media. I have no room in my life for nasty people.

+1

And even if someone somewhere is laughing at me and thinks I’m “cringe,” what do I care? Someone else’s thoughts are none of my business. I like me, but not everyone has to.

But clearly the motivations is "Look everyone! I'm not lonely and I so have friends! People like me!"

Except it isn’t. I post to stay in touch with friends and family. I like seeing that my cousin took her baby to see Santa and seeing the photos my friend posted from what looks like an incredible trip to the Christmas markets in Germany. I hope they enjoy seeing a five second clip from my kid’s first skating lesson. I understand that I’m not going to convince you otherwise, but I think you need to understand that not everyone shares your outlook.

But those are not examples of what OP is talking about, where a group of adult women get together for a social event and then post the photos to social media.

From your examples: everyone loves pictures of babies, please. It's like puppies. Literally no one complains about people posting this stuff, including OP. Some people may get triggered by vacation photos but most people I know like them. I love seeing vacation photos online because it gives me ideas for where to travel. And the video of a kid's skating lesson is in the baby category (though when people obsessively post kid photos as their kids get older, it does get annoying).

So those are all things most people enjoy. But that's different than a group of women going out to dinner and taking a group photo and posting it. Why is that something most people would want to see? And obviously if there are women who are friends with that group but weren't invited, it will make them feel left out. Even if it was incidental and not intentional, they'll think "huh why didn't anyone tell me about this." Which is WHY it's weird to post these photos, because how many people are desperate to see more photos of women at dinner, and the people who actually know all the women in the photo are going to feel hurt. So there's just no reason, unless it's to prove to people you have friends, or you want to make people feel excluded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only time this is appropriate is on an Instagram story.

No, but people post these photos to stories because (1) they know they are a bit cringe and don't want evidence on their grid that they did it, and (2) that way they can see who looks at it and thus know if someone who might be envious or feel left out saw it, which may be the goal or may be something they just want to suss out.

Everyone I know who posts to stories a lot is obsessed with social media and engaged in dumb mind games like this. My sister is like this. I refuse to look at stories at all specifically because I know she's insane and it makes me thinking everyone else who does this is, too. It's a control thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only time this is appropriate is on an Instagram story.

No, but people post these photos to stories because (1) they know they are a bit cringe and don't want evidence on their grid that they did it, and (2) that way they can see who looks at it and thus know if someone who might be envious or feel left out saw it, which may be the goal or may be something they just want to suss out.

Everyone I know who posts to stories a lot is obsessed with social media and engaged in dumb mind games like this. My sister is like this. I refuse to look at stories at all specifically because I know she's insane and it makes me thinking everyone else who does this is, too. It's a control thing.

You need to calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social media is a status scoreboard. It drives the status obsessed and status insecure insane when they can’t compete.

The only people who think this are themselves status obsessed and insecure.

Normal people are just sharing pictures. No one is forcing you to look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested. That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

DP. One of the reasons I stopped posting many years ago, in addition to asking myself who was it for, was imagining so many people just scrolling by carelessly something that felt so meaningful to me. (As they should feel free to do, obviously.) Why would I put my own precious memories and experiences out there for people to judge or ignore or mock? It cheapens the human experience for me.

You’ve totally missed my point. I’m confident that my “followers” and the people I follow aren’t judging or mocking or affirmatively ignoring. The people I know simply aren’t wired that way. If they were I wouldn’t follow them in the first place.

Oh, honey.

“Oh, honey” also went out in 2012. Believe me, I’d never follow you on social media. I have no room in my life for nasty people.

+1

And even if someone somewhere is laughing at me and thinks I’m “cringe,” what do I care? Someone else’s thoughts are none of my business. I like me, but not everyone has to.

But clearly the motivations is "Look everyone! I'm not lonely and I so have friends! People like me!"

Except it isn’t. I post to stay in touch with friends and family. I like seeing that my cousin took her baby to see Santa and seeing the photos my friend posted from what looks like an incredible trip to the Christmas markets in Germany. I hope they enjoy seeing a five second clip from my kid’s first skating lesson. I understand that I’m not going to convince you otherwise, but I think you need to understand that not everyone shares your outlook.

But those are not examples of what OP is talking about, where a group of adult women get together for a social event and then post the photos to social media.

From your examples: everyone loves pictures of babies, please. It's like puppies. Literally no one complains about people posting this stuff, including OP. Some people may get triggered by vacation photos but most people I know like them. I love seeing vacation photos online because it gives me ideas for where to travel. And the video of a kid's skating lesson is in the baby category (though when people obsessively post kid photos as their kids get older, it does get annoying).

So those are all things most people enjoy. But that's different than a group of women going out to dinner and taking a group photo and posting it. Why is that something most people would want to see? And obviously if there are women who are friends with that group but weren't invited, it will make them feel left out. Even if it was incidental and not intentional, they'll think "huh why didn't anyone tell me about this." Which is WHY it's weird to post these photos, because how many people are desperate to see more photos of women at dinner, and the people who actually know all the women in the photo are going to feel hurt. So there's just no reason, unless it's to prove to people you have friends, or you want to make people feel excluded.

I see. So the rule is if you go out with a bunch of women and have fun you can’t post a picture without being a dick but everything else is cool? I had no idea!

🙄

[Anonymous]

I think there is an inverse relationship between fun-ness of a get together and existence of photos on social media. People shouldn’t need external validation for legitimately good times between true friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested. That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

DP. One of the reasons I stopped posting many years ago, in addition to asking myself who was it for, was imagining so many people just scrolling by carelessly something that felt so meaningful to me. (As they should feel free to do, obviously.) Why would I put my own precious memories and experiences out there for people to judge or ignore or mock? It cheapens the human experience for me.

You’ve totally missed my point. I’m confident that my “followers” and the people I follow aren’t judging or mocking or affirmatively ignoring. The people I know simply aren’t wired that way. If they were I wouldn’t follow them in the first place.

Oh, honey.

“Oh, honey” also went out in 2012. Believe me, I’d never follow you on social media. I have no room in my life for nasty people.

+1

And even if someone somewhere is laughing at me and thinks I’m “cringe,” what do I care? Someone else’s thoughts are none of my business. I like me, but not everyone has to.

But clearly the motivations is "Look everyone! I'm not lonely and I so have friends! People like me!"

Except it isn’t. I post to stay in touch with friends and family. I like seeing that my cousin took her baby to see Santa and seeing the photos my friend posted from what looks like an incredible trip to the Christmas markets in Germany. I hope they enjoy seeing a five second clip from my kid’s first skating lesson. I understand that I’m not going to convince you otherwise, but I think you need to understand that not everyone shares your outlook.

But those are not examples of what OP is talking about, where a group of adult women get together for a social event and then post the photos to social media.

From your examples: everyone loves pictures of babies, please. It's like puppies. Literally no one complains about people posting this stuff, including OP. Some people may get triggered by vacation photos but most people I know like them. I love seeing vacation photos online because it gives me ideas for where to travel. And the video of a kid's skating lesson is in the baby category (though when people obsessively post kid photos as their kids get older, it does get annoying).

So those are all things most people enjoy. But that's different than a group of women going out to dinner and taking a group photo and posting it. Why is that something most people would want to see? And obviously if there are women who are friends with that group but weren't invited, it will make them feel left out. Even if it was incidental and not intentional, they'll think "huh why didn't anyone tell me about this." Which is WHY it's weird to post these photos, because how many people are desperate to see more photos of women at dinner, and the people who actually know all the women in the photo are going to feel hurt. So there's just no reason, unless it's to prove to people you have friends, or you want to make people feel excluded.

I see. So the rule is if you go out with a bunch of women and have fun you can’t post a picture without being a dick but everything else is cool? I had no idea!

🙄

You didn't know how the rules evolved? Most women just really aren't doing this anymore. They've been on both sides and now know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only time this is appropriate is on an Instagram story.

No, but people post these photos to stories because (1) they know they are a bit cringe and don't want evidence on their grid that they did it, and (2) that way they can see who looks at it and thus know if someone who might be envious or feel left out saw it, which may be the goal or may be something they just want to suss out.

Everyone I know who posts to stories a lot is obsessed with social media and engaged in dumb mind games like this. My sister is like this. I refuse to look at stories at all specifically because I know she's insane and it makes me thinking everyone else who does this is, too. It's a control thing.

You need to calm down.

PP is right. Some of you are in deep denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm still seeing fools just posting 100000 pictures of their food. I don't care what you ate!!!!

Don't read it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still seeing fools just posting 100000 pictures of their food. I don't care what you ate!!!!

Don't read it.

If you don't want to engage in this discussion you can just stop reading and look away. It's easy, right?