Why do grown women post photos of social events?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is an inverse relationship between fun-ness of a get together and existence of photos on social media. People shouldn’t need external validation for legitimately good times between true friends.

The fact you think this way shows that there’s something going on with you not with the group you’re viewing.

No, I don’t think so. I go to things where people post pics and things where no one would dare, and the latter are always way more fun and genuine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested.
That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

I think the disconnect is that you're significantly older than many people here who don't want social media in our lives because we see the damage it does and especially to our children so we want to set a better example and ensure they have privacy. Lots of kids coming of age now had parents who exploited them for clicks and it wasn't all just cool, interesting fun. Yet you refuse to acknowledge anything outside your tiny insulated bubble.

DP. YOU don’t want it in YOUR life. Who made you the code enforcer for other people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media is a status scoreboard. It drives the status obsessed and status insecure insane when they can’t compete.

The only people who think this are themselves status obsessed and insecure.

Normal people are just sharing pictures. No one is forcing you to look.

When my cousin died, she weighed 79 lbs and hadn’t been able to leave home in two years. We were so grateful for all of the FB photos of her happy and healthy with her friends and sorors.

[Anonymous]

I mean pictures with friends or family makes sense. Not that I post anything but I don’t think much of people sharing pictures with others. Maybe because I have boring friends and no one is keeping tabs on people’s social lives, etc. The only people who I find sometimes annoying are ones who post on a local foodies group; to some of those moms, it seems more like a popularity contest vs. foodie posts. If you belong to it, you know which foodie group…

[Anonymous]

Because they want to and they can.

[Anonymous]

I think one reason people post regularly is to attract potential partners or friends. The posts show others that they are fun, cute, and social. People can more easily vet them by viewing their posts (eg. This girl is an foodie? I like exploring new restaurants too! She would make a good partner or friend! or This guy is outdoorsy, we might get along!). As seen from the responses to this thread, once your need for a partner or more friends is met, most people stop posting altogether.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is in my bookclub and takes pics and posts our bookclub gathering, along w info on the book we’ve read.
It’s little cringe because I don’t want ppl to know the minutiae of my life, but it does inspire some of our other friends to read the book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested.
That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

I think the disconnect is that you're significantly older than many people here who don't want social media in our lives because we see the damage it does and especially to our children so we want to set a better example and ensure they have privacy. Lots of kids coming of age now had parents who exploited them for clicks and it wasn't all just cool, interesting fun. Yet you refuse to acknowledge anything outside your tiny insulated bubble.

DP. YOU don’t want it in YOUR life. Who made you the code enforcer for other people?

Are you too weak to stand the scrutiny? Post away, but you will be judged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because some of us use Facebook as our diaries and photo albums. That is all. Judge away: it’s not going to change. I love the convenience

+1

I don’t do this, but isn’t this part of the purpose of social media? I feel bad because I DON’T post things and therefore don’t connect to people.

I know you have a FOMO, but try to just enjoy. Friends are allowed to have other friends, and are allowed to do things with other people. I have a friend who always travels on big trips with a group of girlfriends, and I love seeing the photos. I know I am not part of the group — nor do I want to be, because I have nothing in common with them other than the mutual friend — but I like seeing the pics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

Well, see that’s the thing. I have a group of friends that’s pretty large and not everyone can make the gatherings we have several times a year. We take a group photo at every gathering and then someone texts it to the group chat. The people who couldn’t go see the photo (although they often feel sad bc they couldn’t attend), and the people who were there also see the photo. The question remains, when you post it on social media- who is it for? Why do people who aren’t connected to the group need to see the photos? That is the basic question.

You’re just a small person. You really are.

I’m retired and have traveled a lot, often solo, and have met a lot of people in my life. Many are in far different positions than me in terms of age, economics, life experience, nationalities, etc. I’ve ended up following many of them on social media and they follow me.

When one of them posts something cool or interesting or fun—including them getting together with their friends—I think it’s just great. I don’t think they’re doing it to make me or others who can’t be there jealous. That never occurs to me, and I know they’re not thinking that that’s why I post what I post either.

We’re sharing the human experience with others who are interested.
That’s it. If you’re not interested, don’t look. No reason to take it all so personally.

I think the disconnect is that you're significantly older than many people here who don't want social media in our lives because we see the damage it does and especially to our children so we want to set a better example and ensure they have privacy. Lots of kids coming of age now had parents who exploited them for clicks and it wasn't all just cool, interesting fun. Yet you refuse to acknowledge anything outside your tiny insulated bubble.

DP. YOU don’t want it in YOUR life. Who made you the code enforcer for other people?

Are you too weak to stand the scrutiny? Post away, but you will be judged.

You think people posting care about your scrutiny?

The people with FOMO, insecurity, scrutiny… need THERAPY.

The rest of us see pictures… have no FONO, no scrutiny, no insecurity, no wondering why we were not invited, no jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t overthink it. Photos are how we capture and share memories. If it upsets you then that’s more about you.

Everyone takes photos. This isn’t about that. This is the modern version of subjecting your friends to a slideshow of your recent vacation that they didn’t ask to see or gloating about the happy hour with your besties that left out a friend or two for no apparent reason and making sure they see it.

But some people do like seeing their friends having fun. And you can just scroll past if it bothers you.

I don't post on social media but I don't get mad when I go on it sporadically and see pictures of my friends living their best lives. How weird to be upset about your friends being happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is strange to me that so many posters think that social media posts are intended to provoke jealousy. I want my friends and family to have good things in their lives. Someone else's nice house, vacation, or dinner doesn't take anything away from me.

People who aren't happy in their own lives don't want other people to be happy either.

Do some people post on social media because they're trying to provoke jealously? Absolutely. I think anyone would be a fool to say that never happens. As with anything, sometimes people's motives aren't pure, but that doesn't mean everyone else who engages in that activity also has bad motives.

OP's question asked about grown women as if they're a monolith. They're not. Some people post because they're thirsty and need validation. Some people post for other reasons. Acting like there is one answer is silly. I don't post on social media and I feel like I can discern the posts done for bad reasons and posts done for good reasons. You can react accordingly, including scrolling on by or muting those people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is strange to me that so many posters think that social media posts are intended to provoke jealousy. I want my friends and family to have good things in their lives. Someone else's nice house, vacation, or dinner doesn't take anything away from me.

It’s strange to me how many posters are acting like social media wasn’t invented to elicit feelings of jealousy and FOMO. That’s the whole business model.

Not true.

Really? You think happy people keep logging in over and over to see how happy everyone else is, too? That’s not how it works. And not how tech billionaires are made.

Some people actually are able to do that, yes. I'm sorry you aren't. (And no, I'm not a SM poster).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is strange to me that so many posters think that social media posts are intended to provoke jealousy. I want my friends and family to have good things in their lives. Someone else's nice house, vacation, or dinner doesn't take anything away from me.

It’s strange to me how many posters are acting like social media wasn’t invented to elicit feelings of jealousy and FOMO. That’s the whole business model.

Not true.

Really? You think happy people keep logging in over and over to see how happy everyone else is, too? That’s not how it works. And not how tech billionaires are made.

Social media is designed to make people click. It’s not designed to make people miserable. That would be self-defeating. The exact OPPOSITE of its business model.

I disagree. It’s designed to be addictive. Like alcohol and tobacco. They make you think you’re happy, at least for a little while, but repeated exposure makes you more and more miserable over time.

I drink maybe 12 times a year (generally there is a social activity once a month or so that I'll drink at). It's fun when I do it. I don't miss it when I don't do it. Same with social media. If it doesn't serve you, get rid of it. If it provides joy sometimes, go ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it is offensive if I post a pic with my friends at dinner/concert/party/whatever? What if we haven’t seen each other in many months/years and rarely post such things?

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think some people are just wondering who is it for when you do that?

It could be for us?

It could be for our friends who couldn’t join us (maybe they live far away)?

I mean, who are pictures generally for? Aren’t they a way to capture a moment?

The reality of that moment exists only for the people who were there. When you share a pic publicly, the moment doesn’t belong to you anymore—it’s open to interpretation by anyone who can see it. Some might feel happy, some might feel jealous, some might mock it. Some might act like they’re happy about it, but silently mock it. You can’t feel bad about that though, because you put it out there.

And yes, you are deliberately participating in a platform whose addictive properties have been documented repeatedly. So even if you’re not addicted, you’re still part of a societal problem.

As someone else said, it's really not all that deep. It sounds like you should probably get off social media though.