Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a text from my mom out of the blue with the information to pay the remaining balance off of a loan she took out for my undergraduate education. Due to a divorce and bad financial decisions, she says that she can no longer pay it and now expects me to pay it since I’m starting a new job. I’m happy to help contribute but she expects me to pay starting next month and since she hasn’t made payments in a year - she’s not sure the full balance and says vaguely that she paid 1000k monthly at one point. I’m super upset that she sprung this up on me and she claims it’s always been the plan. Does anyone else think this is unreasonable? We have a decent HHI but two kids in daycare and my husband’s student loans.

SUPER!

Op is 12 and is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started paying for it the instant you started earning money, WTF is wrong with you that you've been mooching off of mommy so long that you are married with two children???

If OP's mom wanted expected her to pay the Parent Plus as soon as OP started making money, then she should have told her then and laid out the expectations and monthly contribution. OP likely would have to pay MORE now since the mom has been letting it languish. Sorry, but it's really really poor behavior from the mom, full stop.

She told OP that was always the expectation.

She told her 15 years after the fact. If it is the expectation for the student/ child to pay the loans, then the loans should be in their name. I say this as someone who paid for law school with loans that were in my name and I signed the contract for.

[Anonymous]

You need to pay for your own education if your parents are in trouble financially. You can maybe work out a plan with the lender, but yeah, it amazes me how many adult kids get so pissy when they are asked to pay back a parent plus loan. Usually those loans are taken out because it's another pot of money that you would otherwise not have access to, and student loans and scholarship options have been exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to pay for your own education if your parents are in trouble financially. You can maybe work out a plan with the lender, but yeah, it amazes me how many adult kids get so pissy when they are asked to pay back a parent plus loan. Usually those loans are taken out because it's another pot of money that you would otherwise not have access to, and student loans and scholarship options have been exhausted.

The problem here is that OP was never told about any intention for her to pay this loan. Either her parents are big jerks or more likely they never intended for OP to pay it. They mismanaged their finances, got divorced, don’t want to adjust their style, are spending beyond their means and now OPs mother is deciding…oh I want to keep a house multiple times larger than what I can afford, go shopping and travel,
I’ll just transfer this debt over to my adult kid and grandkids. I’ll lie and say it was always the plan to save face,

[Anonymous]

It's rude and unreasonable, but I would just do it. Don't give her more money though and just accept she may blow it all. Have major boundaries after this. I am sorry she did this.

[Anonymous]

What a terrible self-centered daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a terrible self-centered daughter.

Mom is no prize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to pay for your own education if your parents are in trouble financially. You can maybe work out a plan with the lender, but yeah, it amazes me how many adult kids get so pissy when they are asked to pay back a parent plus loan. Usually those loans are taken out because it's another pot of money that you would otherwise not have access to, and student loans and scholarship options have been exhausted.

If they expected her to pay for it they should have had her take loans in her name only. The mom took out the debt and is the only one responsible. This is like your parents charging a wedding reception on their Amex and handing you the bill later. If the parents cannot afford things they should not assume debt and try to pass it off.

[Anonymous]

Were these loans for the entirety of the college costs??

Either way I actually would not pay if I was op, unless this was discussed from the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have very good family friends from Montgomery County where the parents took out massive loans so the kids could attend private schools. The parents are struggling to pay the loans back, literally hurting their retirement while the kids have good jobs and are making plenty of money without student loans. Yet the parents feel the continued obligation to do this. It saddens and sickens me. They had always felt that their kids should be able to attend any college they wished regardless of expense. It’s ridiculous.

I’d do that in a heartbeat for my kids if I needed to. It shouldn’t sadden or sicken you, that’s what some people see as their duty as parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have very good family friends from Montgomery County where the parents took out massive loans so the kids could attend private schools. The parents are struggling to pay the loans back, literally hurting their retirement while the kids have good jobs and are making plenty of money without student loans. Yet the parents feel the continued obligation to do this. It saddens and sickens me. They had always felt that their kids should be able to attend any college they wished regardless of expense. It’s ridiculous.

I’d do that in a heartbeat for my kids if I needed to. It shouldn’t sadden or sicken you, that’s what some people see as their duty as parents.

Same! I certainly would not want to spend my money chasing a lifestyle I couldn’t afford, taking cruises, shopping and redecorating over giving my kids the best education they can get. I don’t understand these people who will spend over 200 K remodeling their kitchens and bathrooms and then expect their kids to pay for college.

[Anonymous]

Get ALL the details before you commit to anything and do not sign anything until you consult an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Why would I pay off someone elses debt? No thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a terrible self-centered daughter.

Don't even bother. She's a troll. You can even recognize the writing. She also would die if she left the word "super" out of every post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have very good family friends from Montgomery County where the parents took out massive loans so the kids could attend private schools. The parents are struggling to pay the loans back, literally hurting their retirement while the kids have good jobs and are making plenty of money without student loans. Yet the parents feel the continued obligation to do this. It saddens and sickens me. They had always felt that their kids should be able to attend any college they wished regardless of expense. It’s ridiculous.

I’d do that in a heartbeat for my kids if I needed to. It shouldn’t sadden or sicken you, that’s what some people see as their duty as parents.

Same! I certainly would not want to spend my money chasing a lifestyle I couldn’t afford, taking cruises, shopping and redecorating over giving my kids the best education they can get. I don’t understand these people who will spend over 200 K remodeling their kitchens and bathrooms and then expect their kids to pay for college.

Exactly. We are starting on a huge remodel. We couldn’t start until the college savings was already on a glide path to having plenty for anywhere.