Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was the divorce from your father?

Yes and to the other op I meant 1000 monthly.

[Anonymous]

I took a parent plus loan out for my son and I told him at that time it was his loan to pay back. But wow, your loan mus be huge. My son's minimum payment is $99/month. He's paying way more than that monthly, but if he's in a bind ever he can go as low as $99/mo.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should help pay. You are paying your husbands but not yours? Time to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

Sounds like you have a spending issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took a parent plus loan out for my son and I told him at that time it was his loan to pay back. But wow, your loan mus be huge. My son's minimum payment is $99/month. He's paying way more than that monthly, but if he's in a bind ever he can go as low as $99/mo.

There’s no way mom has been paying 1000 per month on this for all this time. This person is supposedly already married with children/daycare. Also, why didn’t the father assume any responsibility of this loan during the divorce? It a marital debt. The whole thing is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I will help pay but I do find it interesting that everyone feels like loans they take when their kids are 18 are ultimately their kid’s loans. I guess for me I’d never take on loans for my kids and expect them to pay them back. I wasn’t told when I was 18 that this would be the deal. I agree if that I knew this from the start but it feels a bit unfair to just expect this out of the blue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I took a parent plus loan out for my son and I told him at that time it was his loan to pay back. But wow, your loan mus be huge. My son's minimum payment is $99/month. He's paying way more than that monthly, but if he's in a bind ever he can go as low as $99/mo.

There’s no way mom has been paying 1000 per month on this for all this time. This person is supposedly already married with children/daycare. Also, why didn’t the father assume any responsibility of this loan during the divorce? It a marital debt. The whole thing is bizarre.

Op here. Im also curious about the martial debt aspect. My mom hasn’t been straight forward about the divorce. She also brought out my dad for their excessive house, which she can’t afford and took on another 30 year mortgage. So it’s a financial mess. She works thank God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will help pay but I do find it interesting that everyone feels like loans they take when their kids are 18 are ultimately their kid’s loans. I guess for me I’d never take on loans for my kids and expect them to pay them back. I wasn’t told when I was 18 that this would be the deal. I agree if that I knew this from the start but it feels a bit unfair to just expect this out of the blue.

Where is your father in all of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help pay but I do find it interesting that everyone feels like loans they take when their kids are 18 are ultimately their kid’s loans. I guess for me I’d never take on loans for my kids and expect them to pay them back. I wasn’t told when I was 18 that this would be the deal. I agree if that I knew this from the start but it feels a bit unfair to just expect this out of the blue.

Where is your father in all of this?

+1 OP, your parents were married when the loan was taken out, your mom has been paying $1k/month, your mom is broke because seh paid your dad a mint for the marital house, and . . . you're mad at your *mom* that you have to take over the parent plus loan? It's not a mommy plus loan, your dad could easily take over or pitch in. But somehow it's all mom's fault.

[Anonymous]

I was a borrower on every single loan my parents took out. You're sure your name isn't on it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will help pay but I do find it interesting that everyone feels like loans they take when their kids are 18 are ultimately their kid’s loans. I guess for me I’d never take on loans for my kids and expect them to pay them back. I wasn’t told when I was 18 that this would be the deal. I agree if that I knew this from the start but it feels a bit unfair to just expect this out of the blue.

Where is your father in all of this?

+1 OP, your parents were married when the loan was taken out, your mom has been paying $1k/month, your mom is broke because seh paid your dad a mint for the marital house, and . . . you're mad at your *mom* that you have to take over the parent plus loan? It's not a mommy plus loan, your dad could easily take over or pitch in. But somehow it's all mom's fault.

Is the divorce recent within the last year? What balance is left? When you log on, whose name is on the loan? Can you determine what assets were used for collateral? In a divorce, joint debts usually have to be settled.

[Anonymous]

I agree with OP that when a parent takes out a loan to pay for college, that is the parent's loan to pay. Just like the student doesn't repay parents who pay cash.

But, OP, obviously your mom is struggling and you have a moral obligation here. I'd log on, find out the terms of the loan, and see if it can be put on some kind of payment plan or if you and both parents can contribute equally.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that you will start taking it over but you can't next month. PllllTell her you wish she had talked about this sooner. If she hasn't paid for a year I'm guessing her credit is wrecked. Let's hope your name isn't on the loan otherwise your credit is likely impacted too. Did she stop paying because of one of those Covid-related pauses?and I don't agree with other PPs who assume this is OP's responsibility. Her parents should have handled the loan or should have made OP aware of what the plan for repayment was. OP, find out what your legal obligations are with regard to this loan. Ask tour Dad to step in and pay for a few months while you work in your budget.

[Anonymous]

You may want to talk with your father. A divorce decree will assign marital debt. Either 50/50 or to one party. Your mother may have agreed to take on the parent plus loan in exchange for your Dad taking on other debt. Her plan was to just turn the debt over to you.

Or it could be vice sera too. Legally, while a divorce decree can divide debt it can not remove responsibility of the original signatories. If your mom or dad was assigned the debt and stopped paying then the other would still be responsible to the lender. If your Dad was assigned the debt, stopped paying then the lender could have come after your mother. She giving it to you now.

If your name is not on the debt and either or both parents headed toward bankruptcy, paying this debt for her or him might not be the best financial move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord OP. Your mom was not in school; you were.

YOU pay it. Easy answer.