Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

[Anonymous]

First, find out how much the loan is and how many years remaining.

[Anonymous]

I paid all the loans that were taken out for my education, whether they were in my name or my parents’s names. They were for my education, so I paid them.

They did tell me while I was in college that they would eventually pay them all, but I knew they would not. I knew I would have to pay them myself and I did.

[Anonymous]

Similar thing happened to me, but for a far lower monthly payment. My DH and I took over payment. It was in my name, so ultimately it was my responsibility. They had been paying but could no longer afford to do so.

[Anonymous]

The $1000/month is not the problem. What is your mother’s plan for retirement?

If she also has expectations that you’re going to spend a penny on her in retirement I would make it clear that this $1000/month is that contribution. Make it more clear than she made this idea that you were paying the loan.

And speak to your father to make sure this is consistent with what was in the divorce paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a borrower on every single loan my parents took out. You're sure your name isn't on it?

Yep, same

[Anonymous]

How much do you think the total loan is?

[Anonymous]

How long have you been out of school? Log on and find out how much is left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a borrower on every single loan my parents took out. You're sure your name isn't on it?

Yep, same

I’m sure my name is not on it. It’s my mom’s loan that she took out for her contribution based on the financial aid we received because despite good incomes was always in debt. We never discussed that I would take on the loan until just now. I agree with the others that I will do so now since she’s in a bind but I don’t agree with the blanket statement that you have to pay back loans that your parent signed and took out without your knowledge (I was not part of the decision)

I suspect that she traded this loan for another loan my dad had (also was in a ton a debt)

As you already realize - no she has no money in retirement and yes, she did just again take out another mortgage to keep her house that is 4k monthly.

I’m starting to realize this will be my life soon enough as she gets older and can’t work anymore

[Anonymous]

OP what is the balance? What were/are the terms of the loan? Are you sure it’s a PLUS loan? Was your father supposed to be paying too? What is the current status of the loan? Default? Arrears? Is your mom declaring bankruptcy?
Ideally you should pay the loan, but it sounds like a lot more is going on here that your mom isn’t telling her. You need to see the loan yourself to have a complete picture of what you could be taking on.

[Anonymous]

Your mom paid on it for a long time. Didn’t expect divorce plus financial trouble. It’s reasonable for you to take over at this point.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your mom will inevitably declare bankruptcy. Don't pay this debt if it's not in your name. How much is remaining?

[Anonymous]

OP, go find out the terms and balance of the loan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your mom will inevitably declare bankruptcy. Don't pay this debt if it's not in your name. How much is remaining?

She says 19k. Still waiting for the appropriate log in to figure out the terms and if the years she didn’t pay it have added any interest. I will repay it- hoping for a slower timeline and lower monthly payment until daycare costs are lower. Just upset at the abruptness of it all - would have appreciated a sit down conversation - logging in together and coming up with a plan. But sounds like the consensus is im in the wrong here to be upset.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I agree with you, OP. The way your mom handled this is bad and sounds like your parents have always been terrible with money. I will never do something like this to my grown children. While others don't agree, my perspective is that it is my responsibility to get my kids through college. All that said, $19k is doable. But you need details. If your name is not on the loan and your mom hasn't paid for a year, it might not be smart for you to assume it. If the loan was taken out in both parents' names make your father aware because it is his responsibility too. And the fact that your mom did all this in a text is all I need to know about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your mom will inevitably declare bankruptcy. Don't pay this debt if it's not in your name. How much is remaining?

I agree with this. Sit down and have a discussion with your mom (and dad if the loan is in his name too). If she is looking at having to declare bankruptcy, I don't know why you'd make these payments for her. How old is she?