Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have very good family friends from Montgomery County where the parents took out massive loans so the kids could attend private schools. The parents are struggling to pay the loans back, literally hurting their retirement while the kids have good jobs and are making plenty of money without student loans. Yet the parents feel the continued obligation to do this. It saddens and sickens me. They had always felt that their kids should be able to attend any college they wished regardless of expense. It’s ridiculous.

I’d do that in a heartbeat for my kids if I needed to. It shouldn’t sadden or sicken you, that’s what some people see as their duty as parents.

Same! I certainly would not want to spend my money chasing a lifestyle I couldn’t afford, taking cruises, shopping and redecorating over giving my kids the best education they can get. I don’t understand these people who will spend over 200 K remodeling their kitchens and bathrooms and then expect their kids to pay for college.

I agree you shouldn't be funding luxury remodels and not paying anything for college, but as a parent, I can choose to tell my kid "we will only pay for the top in-state school" as our max cost. Up to you to choose where to attend but our max is $35-40K(reasonable currently in every state). Then they can choose to remodel their kitchen and bathroom that is 25 years old if they want. They are not required to pay for Harvard.

The problem with this approach is that it can be very hard to get into the top state school if you are from a high performing area, you may not live in a state with a top state school, and the community college path may not be viable for your major. You won’t know until you see where your kid gets in.

[Anonymous]

Life is surprisingly much better when you stop caring about other people's expectations. Who cares? OP is not an obligor or a guarantor on the loan, so it's not her debt and never was - that is a legal fact. Other people's judgments or expectations don't need to factor in here. Not her problem unless SHE wants it to be.

[Anonymous]

Former FSA employee here. I dealt with more than one complaint regarding cross-generation abuse via Parent PLUS (kids taking them out without parents’ knowledge—which the new FAFSA setup has made easier—or parents taking them and trying to give them to kids, as here).

There is no doubt that Parent PLUS loans suck, but there is also no doubt in FSA’s mind about who is responsible for them, and it is not OP. These loans are 100% her mother’s responsibility, period, the end.

[Anonymous]

And that ^^ was clearly communicated to her mother when her mother signed the master promissory note for them.

[Anonymous]

I would not pay on a loan that is not in my name.

Were you aware that your parents took out a PPL when you chose your school?

Ask for the loan docs before you hand over a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She got the loan because you wanted to go to some expensive school, and they would not allow you to take a loan. Pay the loan, and stop whining.
That is the way it works; they won't allow YOU to take the loan and if she didn't take the loan you could not go to that school as they had no money to pay for your tuition.
Mom is right, you are a user.

Exactly this.

But more broadly, it sucks our students have to deal with this just to get an education

I completely agree with your statement. Students should not have to mortgage their lives to get a college degree.

Nobody has to "mortgage their lives to get a college degree". Every state has good schools that are currently at MOST $35-40K. Most states have plenty that are only $25-35K. A student works summers, breaks, and 10 hours per week PT during the school year. That gives them $10-12K towards college. They also take the $5-6K Federal Student loans each year. So the student now has $16-18K towards a year of college. That leaves 9-17K for the parents to figure out.

Or the student who cannot afford that finds a place that will give them enough merit to bring down he price.

See how that works---nobody needs to take $40K+ per year in loans. The kid takes $27K total for all 4 years, and the parents need to figure out how to pay for 10-20K/year for college. If that is too much, the kid chooses somewhere more affordable. They shoudlnt' mortgage their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have very good family friends from Montgomery County where the parents took out massive loans so the kids could attend private schools. The parents are struggling to pay the loans back, literally hurting their retirement while the kids have good jobs and are making plenty of money without student loans. Yet the parents feel the continued obligation to do this. It saddens and sickens me. They had always felt that their kids should be able to attend any college they wished regardless of expense. It’s ridiculous.

I’d do that in a heartbeat for my kids if I needed to. It shouldn’t sadden or sicken you, that’s what some people see as their duty as parents.

Same! I certainly would not want to spend my money chasing a lifestyle I couldn’t afford, taking cruises, shopping and redecorating over giving my kids the best education they can get. I don’t understand these people who will spend over 200 K remodeling their kitchens and bathrooms and then expect their kids to pay for college.

I agree you shouldn't be funding luxury remodels and not paying anything for college, but as a parent, I can choose to tell my kid "we will only pay for the top in-state school" as our max cost. Up to you to choose where to attend but our max is $35-40K(reasonable currently in every state). Then they can choose to remodel their kitchen and bathroom that is 25 years old if they want. They are not required to pay for Harvard.

The problem with this approach is that it can be very hard to get into the top state school if you are from a high performing area, you may not live in a state with a top state school, and the community college path may not be viable for your major. You won’t know until you see where your kid gets in.

So then you do what thousands, hundreds of thousands of kids do each year---they choose to attend a university they can AFFORD. That many be on that is NOT"the top state university" but rather one that has their desired major and they can afford to pay for. But rest assured, there are plenty of affordable places for everyone. Now if you only want T50 schools, well that's another story and nobody is entitled to that. But nearly every kid can find a good school that is under $30K if they really want to. And if they are a good student, they can find one under $20-25K with merit.

WVU and Alabama come in under $25K for good students. They offer just about every major possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have very good family friends from Montgomery County where the parents took out massive loans so the kids could attend private schools. The parents are struggling to pay the loans back, literally hurting their retirement while the kids have good jobs and are making plenty of money without student loans. Yet the parents feel the continued obligation to do this. It saddens and sickens me. They had always felt that their kids should be able to attend any college they wished regardless of expense. It’s ridiculous.

I’d do that in a heartbeat for my kids if I needed to. It shouldn’t sadden or sicken you, that’s what some people see as their duty as parents.

Same! I certainly would not want to spend my money chasing a lifestyle I couldn’t afford, taking cruises, shopping and redecorating over giving my kids the best education they can get. I don’t understand these people who will spend over 200 K remodeling their kitchens and bathrooms and then expect their kids to pay for college.

I agree you shouldn't be funding luxury remodels and not paying anything for college, but as a parent, I can choose to tell my kid "we will only pay for the top in-state school" as our max cost. Up to you to choose where to attend but our max is $35-40K(reasonable currently in every state). Then they can choose to remodel their kitchen and bathroom that is 25 years old if they want. They are not required to pay for Harvard.

The problem with this approach is that it can be very hard to get into the top state school if you are from a high performing area, you may not live in a state with a top state school, and the community college path may not be viable for your major. You won’t know until you see where your kid gets in.

So then you do what thousands, hundreds of thousands of kids do each year---they choose to attend a university they can AFFORD. That many be on that is NOT"the top state university" but rather one that has their desired major and they can afford to pay for. But rest assured, there are plenty of affordable places for everyone. Now if you only want T50 schools, well that's another story and nobody is entitled to that. But nearly every kid can find a good school that is under $30K if they really want to. And if they are a good student, they can find one under $20-25K with merit.

WVU and Alabama come in under $25K for good students. They offer just about every major possible.

So your children should go to West Virginia because you want an on trend kitchen and spa like master bath? I just have no respect for people who do this.