Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

+2 Having one crazy poster repeating the same thing over and over doesn't make it so. Not the OP's loan. Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility.

The OP likely knew the loans were taken to pay for college.

However, this is precisely why you should not take Parent loans for college. Kid's need to attend a school that can be paid for with at most the federal STUDENT loans of $27K total for the 4 years. It's doable for most people. Attend a state U, take the 5.5K/year loan, work summers and breaks (and if possible a 10-12 hour/week job while in school). That gives the kid $15-20K. Parents help with the rest. Most states have places you can attend for under $30K (and that's a parental contribution of only $10-15K/year for a total of $40-60K)


Or you find a school that gives you merit/FA and costs less.

My kid is attending a state U and the tuition plus room and board is about 38 K. His is luckily a little cheaper due to housing than the other 4 in state schools he was accepted at but declined. The kid doesn’t get to pick their state for in state tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started paying for it the instant you started earning money, WTF is wrong with you that you've been mooching off of mommy so long that you are married with two children???

If OP's mom wanted expected her to pay the Parent Plus as soon as OP started making money, then she should have told her then and laid out the expectations and monthly contribution. OP likely would have to pay MORE now since the mom has been letting it languish. Sorry, but it's really really poor behavior from the mom, full stop.

She told OP that was always the expectation.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

+2 Having one crazy poster repeating the same thing over and over doesn't make it so. Not the OP's loan. Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility.

The OP likely knew the loans were taken to pay for college.

However, this is precisely why you should not take Parent loans for college. Kid's need to attend a school that can be paid for with at most the federal STUDENT loans of $27K total for the 4 years. It's doable for most people. Attend a state U, take the 5.5K/year loan, work summers and breaks (and if possible a 10-12 hour/week job while in school). That gives the kid $15-20K. Parents help with the rest. Most states have places you can attend for under $30K (and that's a parental contribution of only $10-15K/year for a total of $40-60K)


Or you find a school that gives you merit/FA and costs less.

My kid is attending a state U and the tuition plus room and board is about 38 K. His is luckily a little cheaper due to housing than the other 4 in state schools he was accepted at but declined. The kid doesn’t get to pick their state for in state tuition.

But are there any schools in your state that are cheaper? I'm going to bet there are. So if you cannot afford 38K/year, you find one that is "affordable" to you with only the $5.5K fed student loans per year.
I've lived in many states and every single one has several colleges at the $30K range still. Both VA and MD have several schools that come in at/under $30K. Or you search for a private/OOS school that gives your kid merit to bring cost down, if you cannot afford to help with the $38K. There are ways to do it, it may not be the kid's top choice, but going into massive debt is not smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started paying for it the instant you started earning money, WTF is wrong with you that you've been mooching off of mommy so long that you are married with two children???

If OP's mom wanted expected her to pay the Parent Plus as soon as OP started making money, then she should have told her then and laid out the expectations and monthly contribution. OP likely would have to pay MORE now since the mom has been letting it languish. Sorry, but it's really really poor behavior from the mom, full stop.

She told OP that was always the expectation.

The mom always expected to get divorced and make bad financial decisions? And then come back and ask the daughter to pay for a loan that she took out.?

Doubt it

[Anonymous]

Seems normal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal to me.

+1. It’s the right thing to do. OP sounds so entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

Oh BS you’re just mad how she handled it. You know you’re mad you have to pay it. It’s your responsibility.

A PLUS loan taken out by the parent is not OP's responsibility. It is her mother's because her mother signed the loan contract. I think her mother did it the wrong way. If mom wanted her daughter to start paying she shoukd have asked nicely. If OP refuses to pay it will not damage her credit because it is not in her name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.

You can be upset about how she asked, but those loans are for YOUR school. YOU should pay them, not your mom. Yes, daycare and your husband's loans are probably a lot. Maybe you should have waited to have kids until all YOUR loans were paid.

They are not her loans. Not sure why you keep capitalizing the word your. Yelling doesn’t change reality. These loans aren’t hers.

+1

+2 Having one crazy poster repeating the same thing over and over doesn't make it so. Not the OP's loan. Not the OP's credit score. Not the OP's decision to take the loan. Not the OP's responsibility.

The OP likely knew the loans were taken to pay for college.

However, this is precisely why you should not take Parent loans for college. Kid's need to attend a school that can be paid for with at most the federal STUDENT loans of $27K total for the 4 years. It's doable for most people. Attend a state U, take the 5.5K/year loan, work summers and breaks (and if possible a 10-12 hour/week job while in school). That gives the kid $15-20K. Parents help with the rest. Most states have places you can attend for under $30K (and that's a parental contribution of only $10-15K/year for a total of $40-60K)


Or you find a school that gives you merit/FA and costs less.

My kid is attending a state U and the tuition plus room and board is about 38 K. His is luckily a little cheaper due to housing than the other 4 in state schools he was accepted at but declined. The kid doesn’t get to pick their state for in state tuition.

But are there any schools in your state that are cheaper? I'm going to bet there are. So if you cannot afford 38K/year, you find one that is "affordable" to you with only the $5.5K fed student loans per year.
I've lived in many states and every single one has several colleges at the $30K range still. Both VA and MD have several schools that come in at/under $30K. Or you search for a private/OOS school that gives your kid merit to bring cost down, if you cannot afford to help with the $38K. There are ways to do it, it may not be the kid's top choice, but going into massive debt is not smart.

Not the PP, but there is more to consider when selecting a school than which is the "cheapest" option. I didn't grow up in the DMV but where I grew up the cheapest state colleges tended to be junior or technical schools- which is great if that works for what you are wanting to study but it's not the answer for everyone. I think PP's point is that even in-state universities have really gone up in price in many states. $30k per year is a lot and families end up taking out loans to finance some of it.

I also think the school OP selected at 17/18 is kind of beside the point right now (and FWIW, maybe OP would have made a different decision if their parents had been more upfront about repayment expectations of a loan in their name that is designed for parents). Her mom has some major financial issues and needs to sit down with someone to help her figure things out and set a realistic budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started paying for it the instant you started earning money, WTF is wrong with you that you've been mooching off of mommy so long that you are married with two children???

If OP's mom wanted expected her to pay the Parent Plus as soon as OP started making money, then she should have told her then and laid out the expectations and monthly contribution. OP likely would have to pay MORE now since the mom has been letting it languish. Sorry, but it's really really poor behavior from the mom, full stop.

She told OP that was always the expectation.

She did not. Reread all of Op’s posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started paying for it the instant you started earning money, WTF is wrong with you that you've been mooching off of mommy so long that you are married with two children???

If OP's mom wanted expected her to pay the Parent Plus as soon as OP started making money, then she should have told her then and laid out the expectations and monthly contribution. OP likely would have to pay MORE now since the mom has been letting it languish. Sorry, but it's really really poor behavior from the mom, full stop.

She told OP that was always the expectation.

Ok, but WHEN did she tell OP that was always the expectaion? Obviously mom isn't here to give her side of the story but according to OP she just found that out now. That's not fair as the loan has likely ballooned in size over the years due to the interest rates.

Re: the moral obligation to pay because the loan was for college, there are reasons why students are limited in the amount of loans they can take out in their name. Although they are used this way, Parent Plus loans shouldn't be a backdoor to getting more loans for the student to repay, they are meant to be loans for the parents. No parent should take these out expecting that their kid will be able to pay it back, especially if the student already has federal loans in their name. There are other private loan options that can be in a student's name with a co-signer. These options also suck but at least the student has their skin in the game upfront.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started paying for it the instant you started earning money, WTF is wrong with you that you've been mooching off of mommy so long that you are married with two children???

If OP's mom wanted expected her to pay the Parent Plus as soon as OP started making money, then she should have told her then and laid out the expectations and monthly contribution. OP likely would have to pay MORE now since the mom has been letting it languish. Sorry, but it's really really poor behavior from the mom, full stop.

She told OP that was always the expectation.

Telling someone a decade later you “always” expected them to give you $20,000 is an interesting tactic.

OP should not screw over her own kids by paying this loan. Break the cycle.

[Anonymous]

Giving money to someone bad with money only makes things worse. She'll keep finding things to throw the money away on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal to me.

+1. It’s the right thing to do. OP sounds so entitled.

Normal to wait all those years to announce they expect their kid to repay a loan in their name? Okaaaay.

[Anonymous]

What I don't get is how can all these daycare parents pay $1600-2000 a month for daycare (this is low end of costs), but college parents (who presumably make more money with 18 years more of job experience) can't afford to give their kids the same 24k in money yearly towards college? Plus surely they could have saved 4-5k a year beforehand as well?

I feel like the ability for kids to get student loans has made it so that parents feel no responsibility. And kids spend more than they should because they could get the loans.

I understand why student loans are needed but it has inflated prices for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have started paying for it the instant you started earning money, WTF is wrong with you that you've been mooching off of mommy so long that you are married with two children???

If OP's mom wanted expected her to pay the Parent Plus as soon as OP started making money, then she should have told her then and laid out the expectations and monthly contribution. OP likely would have to pay MORE now since the mom has been letting it languish. Sorry, but it's really really poor behavior from the mom, full stop.

She told OP that was always the expectation.

No.

Yes. From the original post: "I’m super upset that she sprung this up on me and she claims it’s always been the plan."