Spouse lost his job and its ruining our life

[Anonymous]

Ha! Going through the same stuff but he has to do it on his own.
Someone give my husband a job please or at least an interview!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

Ok. I just think you're posting really poor examples of how she can increase her own income. Picking up some tutroing jobs, especially in the summer, seems way more realistic than packing up the family to Richmond for a (maybe) $10k raise (and where her DH may/may not have an even harder time finding a job?). Her DH is going to have to figure something out to contribute to his family's income. I think the best advice in this thread so far has been for him to get an interview coach, since he seems to be landing interviews. In the meantime he needs a side hustle.

[Anonymous]

What is his field or industry so we can best understand why there is interest but no interview success? He definitely needs to practice with someone.

You said it was ruining your marriage so I would first acknowledge that the marriage formula you had is ended ( not ruined.) now, sit down and say…here we are. 10 years married, two kids, x household income. This is our life and we need to have a plan for this new life. What do we want it to look like.

No anger, no recriminations. Once you have a new normal defined you then add or subtract what you need/ want. Don’t just keep wishing you had what you had as you don’t and it helps no one. It’s like a death. It’s painful but it’s final. To live in the world with some peace and happiness you have to forge a new way.

Truly wishing you a path forward that you can live with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

Ok. I just think you're posting really poor examples of how she can increase her own income. Picking up some tutroing jobs, especially in the summer, seems way more realistic than packing up the family to Richmond for a (maybe) $10k raise (and where her DH may/may not have an even harder time finding a job?). Her DH is going to have to figure something out to contribute to his family's income. I think the best advice in this thread so far has been for him to get an interview coach, since he seems to be landing interviews. In the meantime he needs a side hustle.

There are Richmond jobs paying $200k. She makes like $60k as a teacher. But also she could go by herself until he lands another big job.

[Anonymous]

OP, get him up and dancing. Then you join in. Dance it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if his hair is gray, get some just for men hair coloring.

Stop by your unemployment office. They should have some free classes on interviewing.

He also may qualify for free retraining.

Generally, the stuff is not mentioned on the website you need to stop by the office and talk to people.

The unemployment office? They don’t give guidance for executive professional interviews. They more geared towards people making the leap from retail to office work.

NP here. The husband could contact the career services office of his undergrad or grad school (if he went to one). Most reputable colleges offer career services FOR LIFE and that includes alumni who are in their 40s+. Resume review, interview prep, etc. It should be free. Both my undergrad and law school offer this. I have been on multiple college tours with my teens in the last 2 years and all of the colleges we toured mentioned this benefit, so it should still be a thing.

Unfortunately, many college career centers cut off help 5 years after graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

Ever heard of a recruiter? Their whole job is getting people interviews and pushing resumes for roles they know nothing about.

Plenty of SAHMs are college educated and have resume and cover letter writing experience, can use the internet, Linkedin, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

Ever heard of a recruiter? Their whole job is getting people interviews and pushing resumes for roles they know nothing about.

Plenty of SAHMs are college educated and have resume and cover letter writing experience, can use the internet, Linkedin, etc.

This gets better and better. A recruiter??bothers how you see yourself? I thought raising children was a full time job, and now you claim to have the deep and varied network, up to date resume authorship, and reputation among corporate hiring managers as a recruiter?

I agree they can probably “use the internet” with the best of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

Ok. I just think you're posting really poor examples of how she can increase her own income. Picking up some tutroing jobs, especially in the summer, seems way more realistic than packing up the family to Richmond for a (maybe) $10k raise (and where her DH may/may not have an even harder time finding a job?). Her DH is going to have to figure something out to contribute to his family's income. I think the best advice in this thread so far has been for him to get an interview coach, since he seems to be landing interviews. In the meantime he needs a side hustle.

There are Richmond jobs paying $200k. She makes like $60k as a teacher. But also she could go by herself until he lands another big job.

Lol. In education? Maybe a county superintendent? You think OP is going to jump into that from her teacher job? People who know nothing about education are so ignorant of the qualifications required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

Ever heard of a recruiter? Their whole job is getting people interviews and pushing resumes for roles they know nothing about.

Plenty of SAHMs are college educated and have resume and cover letter writing experience, can use the internet, Linkedin, etc.

This gets better and better. A recruiter??bothers how you see yourself? I thought raising children was a full time job, and now you claim to have the deep and varied network, up to date resume authorship, and reputation among corporate hiring managers as a recruiter?

I agree they can probably “use the internet” with the best of them.

I'm not a SAHM. Neither is OP. I see you as an idiot. That's how I see "yourself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, I come here looking for some hope. My spouse had a really great career going at one place for 15 years. Life got expensive as our kids began getting older, etc and I work in education (low paid). So, my husband traded in his long time career for a job that would pay more, thinking he was climbing the ladder. Soon after, that company got bought out and he was laid off. He has been unemployed for about a year. He had severance for part of it. We have been on unemployment and living off all the savings we have. He has had tons and tons of interviews with no results. I have been in a state of fight or flight this entire time. It has completely ruined our marriage and my mental health- the instability, lack of control and no end in sight.When I think about the poor choice (of leaving his other job for something so unstable) that got us here, it makes me sick and feel so sad for him. Its been a huge loss in so many ways. We are in our mid 40s, for reference. Has anyone been in this position and things worked out? Weve never had a situation like this with unemployment and I feel hopeless.

This is literally every Fed right now.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello, I come here looking for some hope. My spouse had a really great career going at one place for 15 years. Life got expensive as our kids began getting older, etc and I work in education (low paid). So, my husband traded in his long time career for a job that would pay more, thinking he was climbing the ladder. Soon after, that company got bought out and he was laid off. He has been unemployed for about a year. He had severance for part of it. We have been on unemployment and living off all the savings we have. He has had tons and tons of interviews with no results. I have been in a state of fight or flight this entire time. It has completely ruined our marriage and my mental health- the instability, lack of control and no end in sight.When I think about the poor choice (of leaving his other job for something so unstable) that got us here, it makes me sick and feel so sad for him. Its been a huge loss in so many ways. We are in our mid 40s, for reference. Has anyone been in this position and things worked out? Weve never had a situation like this with unemployment and I feel hopeless.

This is literally every Fed right now.

Except no Fed got the chance at a pay bump! We just got the layoffs. Good times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get a second job. He should be working at McDonald’s if he has to.

She should get a second job to support her husband in his job search when he isn't working? He needs to take a job or two to earn income and continue his job search.

+1. I don't know why y'all are telling OP to get a second job when her DH can't be bothered to get something part-time while he's looking for something FT.

It’s all hands on deck, that’s how they should approach it as a team rather than her blaming him for trying to advance their family.

She might be able to pick up some tutoring jobs in a second, they pay way more than him picking up some shifts at Starbucks. It depends on his skill set and his ability to find well paid part-time work, but if they both have extra hours, like she does in the summer or after 4 PM, they should try to put them to use the other spouse. Will be available to take care of the kids.

This is stupid.

Obviously, all energy should be focused on husbands re-employment.

But this isn't about helping, it's about being mean right?

You have to be realistic about who is more likely to maximize income at this point. She might be able to pivot to a state govt job making much more or a ed tech company, she is gainfully employed and ageism is actually less severe for women within education and medical fields. She could easily double her salary with the right move; he could get a job at Target and make enough to cover her gas money. You just have to be strategic and both be gunning to maintain their lifestyle.

Or they give up and move some place cheaper where a teachers salary can give a middle class lifestyle.

Instead she’s talking about her marriage dissolving and that will be the worst financial outcome.

We are in a white collar recession. He probably needs to pivot to teaching or nursing, but that will take education to become eligible.

State govt jobs typically do not pay much more than teachers. And guess who else is applying for all the state jobs right now? Laid off Feds. Heck that could be part of the problem her DH is havng - there are a lot of educated people looking for work right now, competition is high.

However, if DH can't/won't find a job in this area, relocating to somewhere with a lower COL but still decent teacher pay (not always compatible, I know) should be on the table. I'm originally from upstate NY and teaching is not considered a job for the poors like it is here.

Department of Education Salaries
Highest salary at Department of Education in year 2024 was $259,144. Number of employees at Department of Education in year 2024 was 667. Average annual salary was $79,634 and median salary was $80,133. Department of Education average salary is 70 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 84 percent higher than USA median salary.

The average annual salary for Fairfax County Public Schools (FCPS) is approximately $64,398. This includes salaries for teachers, administrators, and support staff. The average teacher salary in FCPS is around $69,571, which is above the national average.

And Richmond is a lower COL than FFX.

Whether it’s really lower COL depends on what the OP’s current mortgage is. Moving is expensive.

Anyway, I looked at available vacancies with the state and there are few at the moment, so maybe OP should focus on helping her DH find employment rather than trying to get a marginal salary increase for herself that would necessitate moving.

I find it amusing that all these SAHM feel like they have an impact on their DH career, outside of taking care of the kids when they’re working and running their errands for them. You aren’t going to find your DH a job if he’s unemployed. It’s not like you have a network of contacts in the industry or can speak meaningly to his actual work product. So OP can’t help him find a job, but she can increase her own income.

Ok. I just think you're posting really poor examples of how she can increase her own income. Picking up some tutroing jobs, especially in the summer, seems way more realistic than packing up the family to Richmond for a (maybe) $10k raise (and where her DH may/may not have an even harder time finding a job?). Her DH is going to have to figure something out to contribute to his family's income. I think the best advice in this thread so far has been for him to get an interview coach, since he seems to be landing interviews. In the meantime he needs a side hustle.

There are Richmond jobs paying $200k. She makes like $60k as a teacher. But also she could go by herself until he lands another big job.

Lol. In education? Maybe a county superintendent? You think OP is going to jump into that from her teacher job? People who know nothing about education are so ignorant of the qualifications required.

+1. Was just about to say the same thing- good grief.