
Ironically, you seem to view yourself as the gift to the world here because of the standard of living YOU were born into. Projection 101… |
Exactly. They can’t take it with them and want to see us enjoy it. We will do the same for our kids. |
There are other pockets around here too. They go to great lengths to pretend they did everything themselves. Then you meet the grandparents at a kid’s bday party and it all starts to make sense. |
DH and I are self made, we have bought 2 townhomes worth a million each in Arlington for both our kids, they can live in them or use them as rental properties.
We will also be paying for their college tuition and weddings, we are immigrants who came here with $500 and we believe that if parents have done well then they owe it to their future generations to put them on a solid footing. Anyone else doing the same is just doing what any parents will do, if they have the means. Times are changing, next generation may not be as lucky as we were so we will do our best to give them a good standard of living. It’s very common in Middle East and Asia, the way Trump is going it might become common here as well. |
It may not suit your narrative, but nearly half of parents are coming close to giving that amount to their adult kids. It’s obviously a much greater sacrifice when income/net worth is not in the millions, unlike so many posters in this thread. 47% of parents still financially support adult children, study finds. Here’s how much they spend “These parents are shelling out $1,384 a month, on average, the report found.” https://www.cnbc.com/2024/03/11/nearly-half-of-parents-financially-support-adult-children-study-shows.html |
Its sad when kuds feel entitled to parental money not when parents can and want to help. |
OP, its none of your business what other people do for their kids. If it bothers you so much, ear, save and invest more and give your kids zero $. |
I'm too lazy to read the article. I think most people are talking about generational wealth and relatively large sums of money being given to adults after they graduated college. Nobody is talking about stuff like helping your kid pay for college. |
I supported my parents for 20 years, including the last few years in memory care. that was rough. my spouse has never had their own cell plan, and their parents gift them money every year and routinely buy us dinner. it's nice.
definitely recommend being born to well-off parents. i couldn't swing it, myself, but I don't resent anyone who lucked out. |
I think they are both sad. It is so weird to watch your adult kids scrimp and save if you have the means to ease that, especially when it comes to housing, education, and mental and physical healthcare for grandkids. I can understand in specific situations where the adult kids have been greedy or irresponsible with money in the past. But I don't get it when it's responsible, employed people who work hard. I personally cannot imagine spending money on frivolous stuff if, for example, my grandkids were going to crappy schools and I could fix that with some of the money I just have lying around in accounts earning interest. Of course if you can't afford to help, that's different. And kids who walk around with their hand out all the time are a problem. But I'd you can afford it and the kids aren't entitled or greedy? I don't understand the reasoning for not. |
Agreed, plus I think what is happening in typical cases is that an adult child is simply not independent and either lives with parents or spends most of their time there. That is the case withy BIL. He's not going on nice vacations or sending his nonexistent kids to private school. He's just been eating every meal at his mother's house for most of his adult life, and she pays for things like classes (to help get jobs, which somehow never lead to him being less dependent), a new car whenever he needs one, a new computer, etc. This is structurally very different from helping a fully employed and financially independent adult child with a down payment or tuition for their kids in order to ease the burden they've happily taken on or just improve quality if life overall. |
The pp said giving $19k to adult kids each year was not a norm. Nevertheless, the article suggests that nearly half of parents do come close to giving that amount. It’s both a substantial gift and a hardship for many families to offer that level of support, regardless of the exceptional sums the very rich bestow on their kids. |
You’ve just profiled at least a dozen families I know in Alexandria. If they are both under forty, it’s the private school for two or more kids plus country club combo that’s the real tip off. I’m not in any way offended by this btw. It just is what it is. But it does make me contemplate how I want to help out my own kids financially when they are adults. |
I tip very well always (it is a thing for me) and I am very well aware of my privilege and I don't pretend I earned any of it but it is not something that comes up in conversation much either and I voted for Harris. I hope this meets with approval. |
I’ll play. My late father grew up in dire poverty and was pretty much on his own (paying for his clothes, earning money from odd jobs to supplement the grocery bill) by age 14. He put himself through college and had a career as a military officer. My parents married later in life (33/30) and my mom was solidly small town lower middle class.
What my father could not have known was that his ILs were literally the millionaires next door - very quietly saved a fortune received from a long ago inheritance. Their money was in a few savings accounts and stock holdings. Later in their lives, my mom became their money manager and reinvested and put their assets into a trust. My grandparents began gifting money to their grandchildren. I got 10k that I used for a down payment on my first house (this was circa 1994). I sold that house a few years later and cleared 100k - with that profit bought our first family home. After my grandparents’ death, I inherited more. So did my mother. Let’s say the wealth skipped a generation (mine), although my dad’s career gave me a very nice comfortable ascending? middle class life. His education, hard work and career changed the course of our family. It’s amazing to me that our wealth stems from an inheritance 5 generations ago and due to my now late mom’s financial wizardry, I hope it continues! |