Daughter & Son expect carryout when we go out

[Anonymous]

Your kid says things like “worked a double”? That’s so SAD.

[Anonymous]

If you've established a routine of bringing your kids takeout anytime you dine out without them, it's fine to make a new routine, but the time to communicate the new routine is not 10PM the day your kid works a double shift.

[Anonymous]

A young adult who "works a double" can be expected to grab herself some food on the way home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid says things like “worked a double”? That’s so SAD.

What's wrong with "working a double?" The kid has get up and go and initiative and isn't a basement dweller gaming around the clock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 17 I had a retail job. If I was driving home after working until close I'd stop and pick up food for myself on the way home. It never would have occurred to me to ask or expect my parents to bring home food after a date night.

Agree. And to add to that, the daughter didn’t even want food from the restaurant they were in. She expected parents to make an additional stop to get her carry out from somewhere else. Sorry, that is bananas

Not true

She asked what we ate and if we could bring her something.

She could have stopped on the way home and got herself something. Why does it matter what you ate? It would never occur to be to ask me parents to bring me takeout when I was 17 (and also worked doubles on weekends) and they went out to dinner. Same if my husband goes out to dinner. So here you have an almost adult child that won’t /can’t make themselves a simple meal, won’t eat leftovers, and won’t get their own takeout. College will be rough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 17 I had a retail job. If I was driving home after working until close I'd stop and pick up food for myself on the way home. It never would have occurred to me to ask or expect my parents to bring home food after a date night.

Agree. And to add to that, the daughter didn’t even want food from the restaurant they were in. She expected parents to make an additional stop to get her carry out from somewhere else. Sorry, that is bananas

Not true

She asked what we ate and if we could bring her something.

She could have stopped on the way home and got herself something. Why does it matter what you ate? It would never occur to be to ask me parents to bring me takeout when I was 17 (and also worked doubles on weekends) and they went out to dinner. Same if my husband goes out to dinner. So here you have an almost adult child that won’t /can’t make themselves a simple meal, won’t eat leftovers, and won’t get their own takeout. College will be rough.

She means where did you eat.. chinese/thai

It's because normal course of events her parents bring something home. This was the 1st time the mom decided to do it differently without communicating this to her.

We always text in the family group text we are getting food somewhere does anybody want something. Seems like that was a norm for this family ( from the 1st post - have also brought carryout most times home for them when they didn't go.) until the mom decided without communicating the change in their way of working to not bring her food home.

The daughter didn't say she "can't make food"... the mom's lack of communication left her without food and since the norm was to "bring somethign home for her" the daughter was like what is going on, why the change.

I'd rather pick something up and have it ready at 10pm when my kid gets home than to start cooking at 10pm and I would also expect the same thing from my family ... even though i'm a full grown adult and can cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 17 I had a retail job. If I was driving home after working until close I'd stop and pick up food for myself on the way home. It never would have occurred to me to ask or expect my parents to bring home food after a date night.

Agree. And to add to that, the daughter didn’t even want food from the restaurant they were in. She expected parents to make an additional stop to get her carry out from somewhere else. Sorry, that is bananas

Not true

She asked what we ate and if we could bring her something.

She could have stopped on the way home and got herself something. Why does it matter what you ate? It would never occur to be to ask me parents to bring me takeout when I was 17 (and also worked doubles on weekends) and they went out to dinner. Same if my husband goes out to dinner. So here you have an almost adult child that won’t /can’t make themselves a simple meal, won’t eat leftovers, and won’t get their own takeout. College will be rough.

She means where did you eat.. chinese/thai

It's because normal course of events her parents bring something home. This was the 1st time the mom decided to do it differently without communicating this to her.

We always text in the family group text we are getting food somewhere does anybody want something. Seems like that was a norm for this family ( from the 1st post - have also brought carryout most times home for them when they didn't go.) until the mom decided without communicating the change in their way of working to not bring her food home.

The daughter didn't say she "can't make food"... the mom's lack of communication left her without food and since the norm was to "bring somethign home for her" the daughter was like what is going on, why the change.

I'd rather pick something up and have it ready at 10pm when my kid gets home than to start cooking at 10pm and I would also expect the same thing from my family ... even though i'm a full grown adult and can cook.

I'd rather have a responsible 17-year old kid earning money at a job who can and will feed herself if nobody was home to cook a meal for her earlier, even if it was unexpected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid says things like “worked a double”? That’s so SAD.

What's wrong with "working a double?" The kid has get up and go and initiative and isn't a basement dweller gaming around the clock.

I guess they think forcing a teen to have a job is also neglect and abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How was a 17 year old working a double shift (with no break for a meal) on a weekday? Is she not in high school?

Nobody said double just coming home late which makes sense since she is in school all day, most jobs after school go late and now she needs to do HW.

OP said many pages ago the daughter graduated in May. She’s not even a high schooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is not a problem much longer. She'll be at college next year.

Adults feed themselves.

I hope your kids use this line on you when you’re old, half-blind, arthritic, and showing possible signs of dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid says things like “worked a double”? That’s so SAD.

What's wrong with "working a double?" The kid has get up and go and initiative and isn't a basement dweller gaming around the clock.

A high school kid with a heavy courseload working what a 12-16 hour shift? That's a lot for anyone let alone a full time student. If OP can afford to eat out that much, they can afford to pay for their kids needs and not have them work so much.

[Anonymous]

Just keep some frozen meals in the freezer for the 17 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 17 I had a retail job. If I was driving home after working until close I'd stop and pick up food for myself on the way home. It never would have occurred to me to ask or expect my parents to bring home food after a date night.

Agree. And to add to that, the daughter didn’t even want food from the restaurant they were in. She expected parents to make an additional stop to get her carry out from somewhere else. Sorry, that is bananas

Not true

She asked what we ate and if we could bring her something.

She could have stopped on the way home and got herself something. Why does it matter what you ate? It would never occur to be to ask me parents to bring me takeout when I was 17 (and also worked doubles on weekends) and they went out to dinner. Same if my husband goes out to dinner. So here you have an almost adult child that won’t /can’t make themselves a simple meal, won’t eat leftovers, and won’t get their own takeout. College will be rough.

She means where did you eat.. chinese/thai

It's because normal course of events her parents bring something home. This was the 1st time the mom decided to do it differently without communicating this to her.

We always text in the family group text we are getting food somewhere does anybody want something. Seems like that was a norm for this family ( from the 1st post - have also brought carryout most times home for them when they didn't go.) until the mom decided without communicating the change in their way of working to not bring her food home.

The daughter didn't say she "can't make food"... the mom's lack of communication left her without food and since the norm was to "bring somethign home for her" the daughter was like what is going on, why the change.

I'd rather pick something up and have it ready at 10pm when my kid gets home than to start cooking at 10pm and I would also expect the same thing from my family ... even though i'm a full grown adult and can cook.

I'd rather have a responsible 17-year old kid earning money at a job who can and will feed herself if nobody was home to cook a meal for her earlier, even if it was unexpected.

Forget even being 17…no person in the world who gets home from work expecting dinner on the counter is going to be happy to start cooking at 10pm.

[Anonymous]

You sound like my friend Dom's mom

[Anonymous]

mom its time you tell my brother and sister to start taking care of themselves