My Daughter just committed to a major D1 University - As Me Anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soccer will come first, above all else. That includes studies and social. They say you can have two out of three: soccer, studies, and/or socializing.

Really? Reason they are there is to go to college. Soccer is a key part but no it can't be above studies. Unless you plan to go pro -- which is a small group.

That view is absolutely NOT what happens. You are there to be an athlete first, second and third. Peoples’ jobs depend on how the team does. It is a very different atmosphere than youth club teams or high school. And, your team mates are happy to take your playing time.

It is all about playing time. There is no “I” in team, but there are two in “playing time”. Why? Because of the huge commitment that being on the team demands. If you play it is worth the time and effort. If you do not play - it is not worth the time and effort and you quit. It is pretty simple.


My daughter played in about 2/3rds of the games her freshman year which was okay. Not great, but she was learning to play forward positions. She played in about half of the games her sophomore year. The coach brought in a bunch of transfers which mostly didn’t work out, but my kid wasn’t a star player and kind of got lost. She seriously wanted to quit after her sophomore season. But, lots of kids did quit, and she thought she would give it a try her junior year as playing time might have opened up.

The second game of her junior year she was warmed up and standing at the center ready to check in when a teammate who played defensive center mid was injured. My kid went in to fill that spot while another kid got warmed up. She made a couple of decent plays in the first few minutes so the coach left her in. She kept the position for the next two years. The kid who was hurt - she recovered in a few weeks, but she had lost her position by then.

Sadly, it’s women’s soccer so there are going to be injuries - acls and mcls in particular are season enders. The numbers say there is going to an average of 1 of those per team each season. Add on all the other types of injuries that can keep you out of a game or two and you are looking at plenty of playing time opportunities if you are ready to step in.

Do not be a one-trick pony. Learn the position responsibilities for positions you could play and you can step in. A teammate getting hurt is sad. But, it is also an opportunity for someone else to step up.

You just made my point. It can't be just about the soccer. Why? Soccer may not work out and there is no future after college in soccer. There is no I in team. You have to look out for you. Do all you can foir your sport but at the end of the day you are there for the rest of your life not to make a college soccer team better. The mission is the degree and job. Also doing great at soccer. But you cannot lose sight of the first.

Now if planning to go pro -- well then I agree with you. But for everyone else it is too unsecure to put all of your eggs in one basket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soccer will come first, above all else. That includes studies and social. They say you can have two out of three: soccer, studies, and/or socializing.

Really? Reason they are there is to go to college. Soccer is a key part but no it can't be above studies. Unless you plan to go pro -- which is a small group.

That view is absolutely NOT what happens. You are there to be an athlete first, second and third. Peoples’ jobs depend on how the team does. It is a very different atmosphere than youth club teams or high school. And, your team mates are happy to take your playing time.

It is all about playing time. There is no “I” in team, but there are two in “playing time”. Why? Because of the huge commitment that being on the team demands. If you play it is worth the time and effort. If you do not play - it is not worth the time and effort and you quit. It is pretty simple.


My daughter played in about 2/3rds of the games her freshman year which was okay. Not great, but she was learning to play forward positions. She played in about half of the games her sophomore year. The coach brought in a bunch of transfers which mostly didn’t work out, but my kid wasn’t a star player and kind of got lost. She seriously wanted to quit after her sophomore season. But, lots of kids did quit, and she thought she would give it a try her junior year as playing time might have opened up.

The second game of her junior year she was warmed up and standing at the center ready to check in when a teammate who played defensive center mid was injured. My kid went in to fill that spot while another kid got warmed up. She made a couple of decent plays in the first few minutes so the coach left her in. She kept the position for the next two years. The kid who was hurt - she recovered in a few weeks, but she had lost her position by then.

Sadly, it’s women’s soccer so there are going to be injuries - acls and mcls in particular are season enders. The numbers say there is going to an average of 1 of those per team each season. Add on all the other types of injuries that can keep you out of a game or two and you are looking at plenty of playing time opportunities if you are ready to step in.

Do not be a one-trick pony. Learn the position responsibilities for positions you could play and you can step in. A teammate getting hurt is sad. But, it is also an opportunity for someone else to step up.

And as for people's jobs? You should care about those exactly in proportion to how the coaches care about you. In other words, not a thought a player should ever have. Coach would drop you in a second and you should respond the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She recently committed to an awesome school. The road to get there was was filled with many ups and downs (and a lot of travel).
She is a defender and is blessed with size (5'9) and speed. She was never known as a technical player but is extremely physical. Every few years since early middle school she bounced up to a better team finally playing for the one of the top teams in the area.
Here is my advice;
Get your daughter playing against boys at an early age. It makes a huge difference in speed of play and the level of physicality.
Get a dedicated trainer for speed and agility as early as possible. I think this is more important than a soccer trainer. If coaches see that she can really move and has adequate athleticism they will take a long look. Get fast, get strong, get quick!!!

Don't be a helicopter parent!!!! If she does not want to workout regularly then that is her loss. If she is not all in then it wont happen for her. You can't force the issue and you damn sure can't live vicariously through your kid. And by the way, STOP yelling and screaming on the sidelines. They already have too much pressure from coaches, teammates and themselves. Don't make soccer everything in your life. Go get some ice cream!!

Don't ever go to a general open tryout. Call the coach for the team you are interested in and see if they will let you come for a practice.

Try to separate yourself by being really good at one thing. Great left foot, super athlete, dynamic in the box, exceptional 1v1 defender, very physical, technically excellent. Be good at a lot but be great at one thing. And remember that 'going hard all the time' is a skill. I have seen a ton of girls with great skills who just don't go hard enough.

Do whatever you have to do to get on a ECNL team. Not ECNL RL, and not GA. Your odds of playing in college drastically go up. Even if you are riding the bench for an ECNL team its probably better than being on an ECNL RL or GA team. There are only a few decent GA teams in the area. Look at Arlington, NVA, Maryland United, Union, Bethesda (although I don't recommend Bethesda to anyone..very toxic). I'm sure there are a few others.
The absolute most important aspect of getting recruited is to play well at ECNL showcase events. Either showcase events or ECNL playoffs. Typically there will be coaches from tons of D1 and D3 schools wrapped around the field at all games. Most coaches DO NOT attend regular season ECNL games (they are busy in their own season). Its all about the showcase events.

If you are playing ECNL, try your best to skip the ID Camps. It is a money grab plain and simple. Colleges use these ID camps to pay their assistance coaches. We got bamboozled in to going to way too many. Most were a complete waste of time and money. The only good part was that she was able to see the schools and from there narrow her focus on what type of school she really wanted.

High school soccer does not matter. My daughter is not playing high school because her club season and school season are at the same time. Over use is a real thing. Its not worth it. No one gets recruited from playing high school soccer. Its extremely rare.

Really solid highlight videos and good communication with coaches before and after showcase events is key. Letting coaches know where and when you are playing is important. Using a platform like Sports Recruit makes it very easy to email coaches and create a profile. Developing a plan and getting your name out there with Instagram and X (Twitter) is a vital piece to the puzzle. Posting highlights and just being active on social media goes a long way. Highlights videos should be short (like 2 minutes max) and should have your absolute best stuff in the beginning of the video.

If your daughter does put herself in a position to be recruited, remember that most girls DO NOT go to their #1 choice. That's pretty much left for USWNT players and the absolute highest level girls. My daughter lucked up and is going to a school she really likes and is a perfect fit for her style of play (but it wasn't her #1 choice). Fit and a great college coaching staff is of upmost importance.

I am willing to answer any questions.

You are exhausting.

They are just trying to help out people who might be interested. Why even waste your time replying instead of just moving on? Was there something you disagree with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s going to be hard on Big10 girls now that they have to fly to the West Coast. Not sure how all of that will work.

They're grouping the two CA schools and the two Pacific NW schools. You fly to one pair each year and the other pair comes to you. Not that difficult to comprehend.

You understand when they have to fly out right? And how hard those trips are on your body?

It'll likely end up being a wash. The big schools have usually taken a cross-country trip at some point -- say, Stanford might come to play UNC and Duke on a Friday and Sunday to get in a couple of good nonconference games. Now they'll just be taking those trips for conference games.

So it's up to the coaches and schedulers to get it right.

Which they probably won't, of course.

[Anonymous]

How big of a part do USYNT ID Camps and any other noteworthy individual accomplishment play when getting recruited to D1?

Do coaches care about the resume - special invitations, awards, trophies, titles, etc or is interest mostly based on the player quality they observe in videos and at showcases, outside of academic profile?

I see D1 college player profiles list all their high school soccer accomplishments but does that matter to coaches? I know it does to the player, their family and friends. They almost never list club names or accomplishments although that's likely been a higher level competition and their primary soccer career all along. What's up with that?

[Anonymous]

You are that crazy sports parent. We get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How big of a part do USYNT ID Camps and any other noteworthy individual accomplishment play when getting recruited to D1?

Do coaches care about the resume - special invitations, awards, trophies, titles, etc or is interest mostly based on the player quality they observe in videos and at showcases, outside of academic profile?

I see D1 college player profiles list all their high school soccer accomplishments but does that matter to coaches? I know it does to the player, their family and friends. They almost never list club names or accomplishments although that's likely been a higher level competition and their primary soccer career all along. What's up with that?

tl;dr: yes, other accomplishments matter

My DD (2025) is committed to ACC D1. USYNT was massive deal for coaches when we were talking and one school (which no girl on my DD's team went to), Florida, straight up told a parent that "she's not USYNT pool, so max is 50% scholarship". While I understand 50% is glorious, the fact that a school like Florida, who aren't tip top of women's soccer, has those requirements was baffling to all of us. Coaches do care some because the awards, accolades (even High School), and USYNT pools mean other coaches have practically verified your ability to play. We saw coaches at showcases and ECNL playoffs, but maybe one or two halves..? So other things you can add to your 'resume' will greatly build on their own interest in the girl.

[Anonymous]

None of this applies to any of your kids. She got lucky and is huge. There is no gaming the system mentioned anywhere by op; just luck and nepotism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of this applies to any of your kids. She got lucky and is huge. There is no gaming the system mentioned anywhere by op; just luck and nepotism.

Sadly once in college, the coach finds out that the player wasn’t at the level, and nepotism by club coaches is uncovered. Some players favored by coaches to attend NT camps, or those awarded with conference honors by coach hand are now showing reality and their lack of work ethic, their laziness and riding the bench now that are part of the college team. Likely they will quit the team before season ends.

[Anonymous]

OP: sorry so many are here with nasty comments.

Your DD is very lucky and graced with athletic ability, but I’m sure has also put in so many hours of hard work. It’s really quite impressive.

Question for you:

Do you think the ECNL girls who live in Maryland are at a disadvantage due to the HS season? Following a friends daughter’s recruiting journey (ECNL from Florida) and she was on 4 recruiting visits and played an ECNL game just this week.

The MD high schools play in the fall so I don’t see how that is possible for them. The recruiting classes fill up, don’t they? And of the MD girls aren’t being seen, how does that work?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: sorry so many are here with nasty comments.

Your DD is very lucky and graced with athletic ability, but I’m sure has also put in so many hours of hard work. It’s really quite impressive.

Question for you:

Do you think the ECNL girls who live in Maryland are at a disadvantage due to the HS season? Following a friends daughter’s recruiting journey (ECNL from Florida) and she was on 4 recruiting visits and played an ECNL game just this week.

The MD high schools play in the fall so I don’t see how that is possible for them. The recruiting classes fill up, don’t they? And of the MD girls aren’t being seen, how does that work?

Thanks.

This is a great question! In VA and thinking of going to MD team but wondering the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: sorry so many are here with nasty comments.

Your DD is very lucky and graced with athletic ability, but I’m sure has also put in so many hours of hard work. It’s really quite impressive.

Question for you:

Do you think the ECNL girls who live in Maryland are at a disadvantage due to the HS season? Following a friends daughter’s recruiting journey (ECNL from Florida) and she was on 4 recruiting visits and played an ECNL game just this week.

The MD high schools play in the fall so I don’t see how that is possible for them. The recruiting classes fill up, don’t they? And of the MD girls aren’t being seen, how does that work?

Thanks.

This is a great question! In VA and thinking of going to MD team but wondering the same.

Yes, especially if roster sizes are smaller now. Friends ECNL daughter is not in national team pool and I think she will commit this fall - looks like they are getting close to committing with some really nice options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: sorry so many are here with nasty comments.

Your DD is very lucky and graced with athletic ability, but I’m sure has also put in so many hours of hard work. It’s really quite impressive.

Question for you:

Do you think the ECNL girls who live in Maryland are at a disadvantage due to the HS season? Following a friends daughter’s recruiting journey (ECNL from Florida) and she was on 4 recruiting visits and played an ECNL game just this week.

The MD high schools play in the fall so I don’t see how that is possible for them. The recruiting classes fill up, don’t they? And of the MD girls aren’t being seen, how does that work?

Thanks.

This is OP. Maryland girls are at a disadvantage for sure. Then again not really. It is how your prioritize the recruitment process. If your objective is to play college soccer then you always prioritize the club team. As previously stated over and over, high school soccer doesn't matter at all. All the club games are over the weekend so she never missed any high school games (she is at a private school so all games are during the week). Her club team plays in the fall so come spring is when we went to ID camps and this summer is when we took official visits (after August 1).
Please read previous post about ID Camps.

My advice if you think your DD has serious college aspirations and if the high school and club play at the same time, then don't play high school at all (or very limited). Always put the club team first. That is where the college looks are coming from. Always be peaking at the right time (going into showcase events..usually December, January, and May). Those 9 games or so at major showcase events are all that matters. Regular ECNL season, high school season, and even small local showcase events really don't matter if she wants to play major D1 soccer.
I will repeat this again and again.
Perform well at the showcase events,
Start communicating with coaches a year before your recruitment window opens (June 15th).
Cast a super wide net with sending out highlight videos (keep them short and best highlights first),
Try to get good playing time on an ECNL team.
Make sure you have a good relationship with your club coach so he/she can gauge what colleges are showing interest before June 15th.
MAX EFFORT on the field is a valuable skill. I see time and time again girls with really nice technical skills and/or great athleticism but they just don't go hard enough.
Its important that parents get involved (without being overbearing) in the recruitment process. We are talking about 16 years old kids. Most of them don't have a clue about how to navigate all of this.
One thing I failed to mention in my original post was THE INTERVIEW. Properly prepare your DD for the interview process. We did mock interviews with her to make sure when she did eventually take calls from coaches after June 15th she didn't sound like a complete dumb ass. She had tons of prepared questions to ask them. We made sure she came across in a professional manner. Spoke clearly, concise, confident and extremely respectful. I listened in on the first call. After that I knew she was good to go all by herself. She took notes of the conversations and started preparing a list of schools that she liked (and a list of schools she said NOPE to).
The school she eventually committed to called her numerous times after June 15th. After we got back from the ECNL playoffs in Seattle (they watched every game) they called to set up an official visit.
This is what basically happened at that specific official visit;
They flew us in that evening and the head coach met us outside of baggage claim (nice!). We drove directly to the school just to cruise around and see the campus. Had dinner. They put us up in a very nice hotel. They next morning we met the coaching staff on campus. The day was filled with tours around the school. Dorms, academic buildings, eating areas, athletic facilities. DD left us and went to hang out with current girls from the team. That afternoon the team had a scrimmage which we watched. They fed us all day! After the game the head coach met us in his office. Small talked for a minute and told us what his plan is for the next few years for the program. Told DD where she fits in to the plan. Made her the offer. DD left to spend the night with some of the teammates from the team. Picked her up in the morning and flew back. As parents we felt extremely comfortable with the staff. We got home and she wanted a few days to think through it all. She spoke to a few other schools that had offered one last time to weigh everything. We spoke about it all as a family (even the dogs). A few days later she set up a facetime with the head coach and informed them she was committing. They acted like they hit the lottery! She then forced me to buy her a boat load of school merch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: sorry so many are here with nasty comments.

Your DD is very lucky and graced with athletic ability, but I’m sure has also put in so many hours of hard work. It’s really quite impressive.

Question for you:

Do you think the ECNL girls who live in Maryland are at a disadvantage due to the HS season? Following a friends daughter’s recruiting journey (ECNL from Florida) and she was on 4 recruiting visits and played an ECNL game just this week.

The MD high schools play in the fall so I don’t see how that is possible for them. The recruiting classes fill up, don’t they? And of the MD girls aren’t being seen, how does that work?

Thanks.

This is a great question! In VA and thinking of going to MD team but wondering the same.

College coaches don't really do a lot of recruitment type visits during September to December. They are in their own season and don't have the time. All the VA and MD ECNL teams will travel to showcase events in December, January and typically May. They will all play at Jeff Cup and a few other local events as well. The better teams with also play in the playoffs usually the last week of June. Recruitment classes start getting solidified starting from August to October for most high level D1s (except Iveys...they are typically late fall or the next calendar year). Of course every school is different and every girl has their own path. My DDs 2026 class is basically done for the school she committed to. According to the head coach they may add one more player.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How big of a part do USYNT ID Camps and any other noteworthy individual accomplishment play when getting recruited to D1?

Do coaches care about the resume - special invitations, awards, trophies, titles, etc or is interest mostly based on the player quality they observe in videos and at showcases, outside of academic profile?

I see D1 college player profiles list all their high school soccer accomplishments but does that matter to coaches? I know it does to the player, their family and friends. They almost never list club names or accomplishments although that's likely been a higher level competition and their primary soccer career all along. What's up with that?

tl;dr: yes, other accomplishments matter

My DD (2025) is committed to ACC D1. USYNT was massive deal for coaches when we were talking and one school (which no girl on my DD's team went to), Florida, straight up told a parent that "she's not USYNT pool, so max is 50% scholarship". While I understand 50% is glorious, the fact that a school like Florida, who aren't tip top of women's soccer, has those requirements was baffling to all of us. Coaches do care some because the awards, accolades (even High School), and USYNT pools mean other coaches have practically verified your ability to play. We saw coaches at showcases and ECNL playoffs, but maybe one or two halves..? So other things you can add to your 'resume' will greatly build on their own interest in the girl.

The USNWT is for the very tip of the iceberg. There are over 300 D1s and a million D2 and D3 schools out there. I think being on those national team makes a huge difference when it come to FSU, ND, UCLA, Penn State and the rest of the highly ranked college teams. Being on those teams gives a stamp of approval. But to be fair, I have seen those girls play in person with their club teams and not look that great. I have also seen some look completely awesome. I have also seen random girls that just haven't got the exposure or are late bloomers who straight up kill on the field. Pretty much the same in every sport.