Letting the Ivy plan go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an article in today's WSJ that some of the most successful young males in Ohio are in the Amish Community in Holmes County. They only had 8th grade educations. They significantly out earn other males of the same age in the US with their startup businesses.

This is the only post on DCUM that's ever made me want to reply "Wut".

I'm going to track down the article...gift link would have been nice...

If the Amish are into crypto and social media now I'm going to die laughing.

I'm aware they run some serious businesses in Amish country but I want to know where the startup money is coming from. Intra-community lending would be less surprising than completely self-funded growth.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t read all the posts. For what it’s worth, I went to an average-at-the-time state university and many of my colleagues attended Ivies. We ended up in the same place. What I’d be more concerned about is instilling a resentment of hard work and would focus on building high caliber work ethic and commitment to investing in her herself and her performance. I wouldn’t tie these traits to an Ivy at all.

[Anonymous]

The flex is to work less hard in hs, succeed at a perfectly fine college, and then wind up in the same place as some Ivy kids. Government work is a good example of that. If she does well and the right level, she can still shine and stand out, while having time to also develop non-academic strengths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League school on full scholarship. My husband also went to a highly selective university on full scholarship. We have worked very hard over difficult odds in our lives. Since DD was little, she wanted to go to my alma mater. First year in HS, it’s looking like it’s not in the cards. She is absolutely miserable in her advanced classes & doesn’t want to take on the rigor she needs to take next year. She is doing well academically but at what cost? She is so stressed and unhappy and wants to take “regular” classes next year. It is a constant fight between us daily about her workload now and about her future. I’m torn between pushing with tough love because she is young and maybe she will thank me later vs considering that maybe it is just too much for her, to let her make her own choices, and to prioritize her wellbeing. Frustrating because I know the latter will close some doors for her and she is better than this. What do you think DCUM and has anyone btdt?

Post in college forum. Or did they call you a troll so you came here to post??

[Anonymous]

What if an Ivy isn't the best school for her? What if college is the best path for her? Are you going to love her less? Respect her less? Look down on her?

FFS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an article in today's WSJ that some of the most successful young males in Ohio are in the Amish Community in Holmes County. They only had 8th grade educations. They significantly out earn other males of the same age in the US with their startup businesses.

This is the only post on DCUM that's ever made me want to reply "Wut".

I'm going to track down the article...gift link would have been nice...

If the Amish are into crypto and social media now I'm going to die laughing.

I'm aware they run some serious businesses in Amish country but I want to know where the startup money is coming from. Intra-community lending would be less surprising than completely self-funded growth.

I'm from PA and there are a number of businesses established by Amish or former Amish that do very well. One is installing solar panels and business is booming. Others do construction. There is money there for people who know how to build things and can hustle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an article in today's WSJ that some of the most successful young males in Ohio are in the Amish Community in Holmes County. They only had 8th grade educations. They significantly out earn other males of the same age in the US with their startup businesses.

This is the only post on DCUM that's ever made me want to reply "Wut".

I'm going to track down the article...gift link would have been nice...

If the Amish are into crypto and social media now I'm going to die laughing.

I'm aware they run some serious businesses in Amish country but I want to know where the startup money is coming from. Intra-community lending would be less surprising than completely self-funded growth.

I'm from PA and there are a number of businesses established by Amish or former Amish that do very well. One is installing solar panels and business is booming. Others do construction. There is money there for people who know how to build things and can hustle.

Can they really “hustle” with a horse and buggy and without a cell phone?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an article in today's WSJ that some of the most successful young males in Ohio are in the Amish Community in Holmes County. They only had 8th grade educations. They significantly out earn other males of the same age in the US with their startup businesses.

Higher than the US median HHI of $75k…you make it sound like they are making fabulous amounts.

Skilled trades people can make decent money anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong place to ask. Everyone will tell you let her take regular classes. Less competition for their kid

Her kid doesn’t want it nor can handle it, idiot.

Sounds like that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an article in today's WSJ that some of the most successful young males in Ohio are in the Amish Community in Holmes County. They only had 8th grade educations. They significantly out earn other males of the same age in the US with their startup businesses.

Higher than the US median HHI of $75k…you make it sound like they are making fabulous amounts.

Skilled trades people can make decent money anywhere.

Yeah when I think startups, I don't think plumbing contractor. To me that would be called "small business" or "sole proprietorships".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an article in today's WSJ that some of the most successful young males in Ohio are in the Amish Community in Holmes County. They only had 8th grade educations. They significantly out earn other males of the same age in the US with their startup businesses.

Higher than the US median HHI of $75k…you make it sound like they are making fabulous amounts.

Skilled trades people can make decent money anywhere.

Yeah when I think startups, I don't think plumbing contractor. To me that would be called "small business" or "sole proprietorships".

They profile a furniture manufacturer and a roofing company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong place to ask. Everyone will tell you let her take regular classes. Less competition for their kid

My kids are in regular class. Students taking the most difficult classes are in competition with themselves to do better every year. They can’t worry about everyone else.

Maybe she can drop the ones that she has no interest in and focus on the ones she excels in. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I also went to an Ivy. Our dcs are excellent students, well-rounded people...And they would never get in now. The college landscape has changed so much and is so competitive. I have zero doubts they'd excel at an Ivy, but it won't happen. They will probably go to our state flagship.

Aren’t there many quality schools between the Ivy leagues and the state colleges?

[Anonymous]

So much hurt here. Let's try this:

What makes her heart sing?
Think of a moment in early childhood when you were delighted that she lit up?
Strengths?

Start leaning this way. Ask questions.

That is how you begin to let go (the original question of the post) of the dream that you created for her—because you love her—before she was able to define the dream she has for herself.

Listen to her.

It will be okay.

And if you honor who she tells you she is, it might be wildly better than okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an article in today's WSJ that some of the most successful young males in Ohio are in the Amish Community in Holmes County. They only had 8th grade educations. They significantly out earn other males of the same age in the US with their startup businesses.

Why is income the measure of the value of an education, or of success?
There's more reason to go to college than for earning potential - to be an educated person, to develop one's personal interests and talents and knowledge. To be an educated member of the community and make well informed decisions (ie, in voting)