Question for child health experts: Does a tween/teen HAVE TO shower every single day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So are people who are concerned with climate change willing to forfeit a daily shower?

Most people would see better savings by showering more briefly (or turning off water while lathering) than less frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens who shower alot could also be hiding cigarette or weed odor . My niece was caught with this . Just a heads up to all the teen parents here

Do they also wash their clothes every day?

I don’t know anyone who washes their clothes every day. That’s suspicious .. Hair holds on to odor so a shower helps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!

Sorry. But your therapist is right. She really should be showering daily. Perhaps her delivery if that message could be better. But you should have been telling her this all along. So I guess someone else had to.

Or you could just keep your uneducated opinions to yourself.

Please source your claim that nobody recommends daily showering. I already provided 2 links that daily showering is recommended.

Well I will choose to listen to my dermatologist (actually several of them) who have advised me that showering daily is just not necessary and could dry out my skin too much.

Showering daily is such an American thing. As usual, because it’s something you do, it just has to be right. The rest of the world doesn’t shower daily and they live long, healthy lives.

But they stink.

[Anonymous]

For the pp who said daily showering is an American thing and the rest of the world doesn’t do that: you are wrong and your hygiene is so-so in the eyes of South Americans: https://x.com/TheGlobal_Index/status/1634580739361771522?s=20

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!

Sorry. But your therapist is right. She really should be showering daily. Perhaps her delivery if that message could be better. But you should have been telling her this all along. So I guess someone else had to.

Or you could just keep your uneducated opinions to yourself.

Please source your claim that nobody recommends daily showering. I already provided 2 links that daily showering is recommended.

Well I will choose to listen to my dermatologist (actually several of them) who have advised me that showering daily is just not necessary and could dry out my skin too much.

Showering daily is such an American thing. As usual, because it’s something you do, it just has to be right. The rest of the world doesn’t shower daily and they live long, healthy lives.

But they stink.

This isn’t a fair comparison. Some in the world have not evolved to need deodorant ever - such as people in East Asia. Some people use it but never sweat. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/744378.page

We aren’t people like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from another country. We were raised to have a bucket bath every day before school. It did make me feel cleaner and seemed like a good start to the day.

Ever since they started having their showers themselves, my kids do not shower every day. More like every other day. One is a tween. If she stinks, I force her to shower. She does so grumpily. There are days when she realizes it herself and showers after school.

If your child isn’t showering daily and has days where you smell that she stinks (or she smells it on herself), why aren’t you insisting on a daily shower. Fixing it after she stinks is not such a great approach during difficult tween years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!

Sorry. But your therapist is right. She really should be showering daily. Perhaps her delivery if that message could be better. But you should have been telling her this all along. So I guess someone else had to.

Or you could just keep your uneducated opinions to yourself.

Please source your claim that nobody recommends daily showering. I already provided 2 links that daily showering is recommended.

Well I will choose to listen to my dermatologist (actually several of them) who have advised me that showering daily is just not necessary and could dry out my skin too much.

Showering daily is such an American thing. As usual, because it’s something you do, it just has to be right. The rest of the world doesn’t shower daily and they live long, healthy lives.

But they stink.

This isn’t a fair comparison. Some in the world have not evolved to need deodorant ever - such as people in East Asia. Some people use it but never sweat. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/744378.page

We aren’t people like that.

Sweat doesn’t have a bad odor by itself, it is only when it mixes with unclean skin. Also, the pores in our skin give off odors when we eat or drink strongly flavored foods or drinks. We don’t really notice it ourselves, but people around us do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!

Sorry. But your therapist is right. She really should be showering daily. Perhaps her delivery if that message could be better. But you should have been telling her this all along. So I guess someone else had to.

Or you could just keep your uneducated opinions to yourself.

Please source your claim that nobody recommends daily showering. I already provided 2 links that daily showering is recommended.

Well I will choose to listen to my dermatologist (actually several of them) who have advised me that showering daily is just not necessary and could dry out my skin too much.

Showering daily is such an American thing. As usual, because it’s something you do, it just has to be right. The rest of the world doesn’t shower daily and they live long, healthy lives.

But they stink.

This isn’t a fair comparison. Some in the world have not evolved to need deodorant ever - such as people in East Asia. Some people use it but never sweat. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/744378.page

We aren’t people like that.

if your "We" is referring to Americans, then yes, absolutely, MANY of us are like that. This is not a purely caucasian nation, you ignorant fool.

[Anonymous]

Curious - when did your children start showering every day independently? Do they do it before school or before bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.

Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!

Sorry. But your therapist is right. She really should be showering daily. Perhaps her delivery if that message could be better. But you should have been telling her this all along. So I guess someone else had to.

Or you could just keep your uneducated opinions to yourself.

Please source your claim that nobody recommends daily showering. I already provided 2 links that daily showering is recommended.

Well I will choose to listen to my dermatologist (actually several of them) who have advised me that showering daily is just not necessary and could dry out my skin too much.

Showering daily is such an American thing. As usual, because it’s something you do, it just has to be right. The rest of the world doesn’t shower daily and they live long, healthy lives.

But they stink.

This isn’t a fair comparison. Some in the world have not evolved to need deodorant ever - such as people in East Asia. Some people use it but never sweat. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/744378.page

We aren’t people like that.

if your "We" is referring to Americans, then yes, absolutely, MANY of us are like that. This is not a purely caucasian nation, you ignorant fool.

I didn’t mean we like you’re saying it. I meant 99% of the world needs to bathe daily and wear deodorant from puberty onward. Who would think I meant one race or ethnicity? I meant essentially everyone needs to shower daily, except for young kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious - when did your children start showering every day independently? Do they do it before school or before bed?

Age 5. Two girls. I’d give them a bath together since they liked bubble baths and playing and it would help tire them out and relax to go to sleep . Oldest DD particularly demanded these baths so she can fake drown her sister every night and make her laugh

A few weeks into kindergarten, DD tells me randomly in the car that that bathing with her younger sister was “yucky and bad for germs” and she informed her sister that she would no longer be partaking in childish bubble baths to the point of tears.

[Anonymous]

We shower e/o day just to annoy the people on this board.

[Anonymous]

The daily bathers:
In a group of 20 people standing around, do you believe that you can sniff out those who last showered yesterday morning?
What are the exact adverse health effects of bathing 3 times a week instead of 7+?

[Anonymous]

This is definitely a cultural thing.

I shower about 6x a week. Mostly every night, but sometimes I get off that schedule for various reasons and end up missing one, taking an extra one, etc.

I was raised to think all this was totally normal. A few times I've mentioned having missed or delayed a shower to friends. Generally the caucasians have thought it was normal, and the Black people thought it was disgusting. I was shocked at how strongly they felt about it.

Meanwhile I've travelled the world and stayed among people who told me such wildly different perspectives as 1.) I was crazy/risking my health to shower so often, 2.) you really only have to wash your hair once a month 3.) some Asians don't need to wear deodorant, 4.) shower stalls are great places to store things because sponge bathing is what everyone in their country does, 5.) You HAVE to shower in the morning/evening/before prayers. /None/ of these people smelled. (I have also been to some countries where B/O was more common and more accepted, covered or not by perfume.)

There's some biology here (different bodies call for different frequency of bathing) and some culture.

In summary, a therapist responding that way to a child seems inappropriately shaming and cross-culturally ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I shower about 6x a week. Mostly every night, but sometimes I get off that schedule for various reasons and end up missing one, taking an extra one, etc.

Note -- If I'm out in the heat, wearing sunscreen or bugspray, exercising, etc, then I'll certainly take a shower, sometimes extra showers depending on timing and access. If I'm just living my ordinary life... I don't sweat much, I wear a strong neutral antiperspirant deodorant, I wash my face (etc), I change my clothes, and I genuinely don't think people can smell when I miss a day.

Maybe some super, super-sensitive sniffers -- the same types who can tell that you ate garlic two days ago or whatever.