Question for child health experts: Does a tween/teen HAVE TO shower every single day?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My 10 yo showers three times a week: Sunday night, Tuesday night and Thursday night. It's fine. She doesn't smell. Those times correspond to sports practices, so she's clean after swimming or sweating.


While I don't think you stink if it's been more than two hours past your last shower, wait until your daughter hits puberty. She'll smell more.
Anonymous
And honestly, even if you’re just bumming at home, it is much more relaxing to be clean and cozy rather than unshowered.

This sounds just weird. That really is in your head.
Anonymous
I don’t think age 10 is the important factor - rather the onset of puberty.
Anonymous
This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.
Anonymous
There are definitely kids (people) who smell more than other do. I have one teen who doesn't smell at all-even after rigorous exercise. Another one (same gender) who is always smelly. They both wear deodorant, eat the same food, etc. one has always been smellier. My third kid is sort of in that middle.
Anonymous
Everyone outside your home, who is not oblivious, can tell.

I remember being able to tell the boys AND girls who didn’t shower daily in highschool. It’s fine if you miss a day here or there, but if its a regular thing it is VERY MUCH noticeable to anyone outside the home.

They all had greasy gross hair, the boys normally stunk and looked greasy and the girls didn’t put any effort into how they looked.

Unless your teen/tween is quite literally blessed by a greater power and 1 in a million… they absolutely should be showering every day if they care about their appearance.
Anonymous
OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.


Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the teens and adults I know who only shower every other day or third day do in fact smell. They think they don’t, but they do.


Didn't take you long. You must have an alert set for shower posts.

Admit it, you're the 3 times a day underwear changer.

OP, it's perfectly fine to not shower every day. Ignore these nutjobs.


Look, just because you are nose blind to your own pungent funk doesn't mean others don't notice it.


DP here. I have one teen that needs a daily shower and one that doesn’t. Sorry nuance is hard for you.


Just says one of your kids is inactive and lazy.


Jesus woman. You are a massive b1tch.


Well clearly that’s the case. Healthy active kids have better habits.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.


Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!


What is one downside to showering daily? You may not like the advice but how is it wrong or unhelpful?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, first of all THANK YOU for all the answers, I appreciate everyone who took the question seriously even though there was a range of answers.

To answer the couple of people who asked what the issue the meeting was to discuss, it was bedtime routines that will help her sleep better. It's not that I silently disagreed with a nightly shower as a way to relax, I get that. It's that the therapist said "How about you do ______ every night before you take your shower to save time, then take your nightly shower, then - " and the teen interrupted and said "I don't shower every night. Usually every other night." And the therapist was visually surprised and bothered, and instead of asking questions like "So, tell me about your choice not to shower every night, or is there something that stops you from doing it?" And she said "I just don't feel like it every night" and then the therapist went on to say she had to, that it was the only way to stay adequately clean and not smell. AS IF your genital health will actually be compromised and your body odor noticeable if you don't, in every case.

That's what I took issue with, since the therapist had been seeing the girl in person for over a year and no one had complained about any smell or odor, she'd never been bullied or made fun of about it (bullying wasn't an issue at all in her case), and she has many friends.

Again, I am fine with the idea of a shower every night to help relax and make it more likey she'll fall asleep faster (getting to sleep was sometimes an issue for her so overall the parents are being advised to have a more structured routine, which makes perfect sense). It was the therapist going straight in on insisting on daily showers and telling her it was a healthy body/healthy privates issue and very important she do it daily that bugged the hell out of me.

Anonymous wrote:This is why professionals need to give a basis for their recommendations, so you can see if the premise makes sense. Daily bathing is not, for example, a medical/health necessity, but I can see where for some people (adhd, depression, etc) the recommendation is more about sticking to a routine or demonstrating ability to care for oneself. Does not sound like this was needed here though.


Thank you for this, I explained the bigger point above, but you're right, it was originally about the routine but there were other things she offered as ideas to get to sleep faster that the teen or her parents shot down, and the therapist was very flexible. But this she was like "Oh, NO, you MUST SHOWER DAILY!!!" Specifically for medical/health reasons, and that is what bugged me because I've never ever had anyone (and I used to have to train temporary care parents and adoptive parents in the basic necessities and basic practices and of course hygeine was important for both physical and emotional/mental reasons, but never was a daily shower insisted on by the experts. Daily recommended, but clean and at least a few showers/baths a week was mandatory.

Thank you and thanks everyone!


What is one downside to showering daily? You may not like the advice but how is it wrong or unhelpful?


There isn’t, there’s only positives.

Seems OP just took issue with therapist bringing light to the fact that their teenager doesn’t have sweat glands given to them by the gods but instead are like every.single.other hormonal teenager that has to have to shower daily.

Just incase you’re unaware. OP, your daughter’s poop doesn’t smell like roses either. Adequate wiping is required as well!

Anonymous
OP is blowing up about one thing the therapist said, meanwhile she’s posting lots of info about a private session involving a child on a public message board.

OP better hope neither of those people read this post.
Anonymous
Nurse practitioner here - no, there is no evidenced based consensus among health care providers that a daily shower is essential and anything else is unhealthy. That’s a cultural thing. It may be a reasonable part of a therapeutic plan for somebody to get up, shower, dressed etc but it’s not some absolute requirement for health. Healthcare providers weigh in all the time with opinions that are personal. Doesn’t mean opinions are bad just that they’re not some higher truth.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My dermatologist told me I should shower every other day for my dry skin. My teen has the same dry skin, so she does the same.


+1. My Derm says this too and my hair stylist says the same. Oily people have no concept of what us dry folks go through. Instead of making too much oil, our bodies can barely make enough. If I showered daily, even without soap, my skin would always be itchy. My hair is so dry that it doesn’t look “normal” until the second day.

IYKYK.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the teens and adults I know who only shower every other day or third day do in fact smell. They think they don’t, but they do.


Is that perhaps a you problem?


DP but it's true. You non bathers think nobody knows. But they do.


Have to agree.

It is a good routine to establish.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Does your teen do nothing at all? No sports. Does she menstruate? I do agree that teens should generally shower daily. Sure, skip a day here and there if too tired or whatever. Every other day should be a rarity, not common practice and every third day is just gross.


This.
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